Chương 52: I Came to High School, Not a Spy Academy, Right?
"Are you and Horikita dating, Hikigaya?"
During lunch break, just as Hikigaya was preparing to head out for lunch, he was suddenly ambushed by an unprovoked verbal attack from none other than Kushida.
Her words sent shockwaves through both Hikigaya and Horikita Suzune's minds.
Even Horikita, who usually didn't bother much with Kushida Kikyo, widened her eyes in surprise and turned to look.
"Why would you even say that?!"
Hikigaya turned his head to confront Kushida, only to catch the mischievous glint in her eyes.
He instantly realized it was nothing more than a joke. Kushida hadn't forgotten the playful lie he'd once told her about Horikita being into girls.
"Oh, it's just that some people in class have been saying so," Kushida added, glancing at their classmates.
"A lot of people seem to believe it now."
"What a pointless rumor," Horikita responded, surprisingly engaging Kushida in conversation.
Hikigaya, just as seriously, chimed in, "Exactly. There's no way I'd be dating Horikita. Even in ten years, that's not going to happen."
"Really? But from the class's perspective, you two hardly talk to anyone else and are always whispering in secret. It sure looks like you're sharing things you'd never tell the rest of us."
"No!"
For once, Hikigaya and Horikita spoke in perfect unison.
Their firm denial of the rumor took Kushida by surprise, causing her to pause in brief confusion.
Still, Kushida didn't seem bothered. Flashing her usual bright smile, she said, "Well, since it's not true, I'll make sure to clear things up for everyone."
"Thanks."
Even though he knew she was probably just putting on an act, Hikigaya couldn't help but feel a flicker of gratitude toward her.
Horikita, on the other hand, remained buried in her book, completely indifferent to Kushida's gesture.
As Hikigaya packed up his things and prepared to go to lunch, he had only taken a few steps before he was suddenly blocked by Yamauchi Haruki and Ike Kanji.
"You two...?"
"Hikigaya! Whatever you do, don't even think about going after Kushida!" Ike blurted out, sounding as if he were delivering an urgent warning.
"Yeah, man! You've already got Horikita. Don't try to steal Kushida from us!" Yamauchi chimed in, nodding earnestly.
"What in the world are you even talking about?"
Hikigaya was speechless. As dumb as he thought these two were regularly, moments like this made him question just how low their intelligence could sink.
Yamauchi and Ike didn't expect a response, though. They continued on their bizarre tangent without missing a beat.
"We don't care if you take Horikita, that stuck-up girl. No jealousy there. But Kushida is the cutest girl in the class. Ah, I'd love to date her."
"I'd do anything to get her into bed—"
"Idiot! There's no way someone like you could date Kushida! Not even in your dreams!"
"And you think you could? In my mind, Kushida's already sleeping next to me!"
"What did you say?! In my fantasies, she's not only cosplaying, but she's also in some seriously compromising positions!"
Yamauchi and Ike carried on with their absurd fantasies, completely oblivious to the disgusted stares they were receiving from the girls around them.
This scene only deepened Hikigaya's realization about just how terrible the collection of idiots in Class D was.
He couldn't help but sigh.
How on earth does Ayanokouji manage to hang out with these fools?
Without saying a word, Hikigaya turned and quietly slipped out the back, choosing to ignore the two entirely.
His presence was so minimal that no one even noticed his departure.
For the past three weeks, Hikigaya had witnessed firsthand the depths of human behavior when left unchecked by discipline or rules.
Most of Class D's students hadn't questioned the seemingly "perfect" everyday life at this school. They were living recklessly, indulging in a carefree existence without any restrictions.
Take Yamauchi and Ike, for example. In just three weeks, they had already burned through the 100,000 points they were given at the start of the month and were now relying on borrowing points to get by.
Perhaps their classmates lent them points, assuming they'd repay the debt next month when the points were refreshed.
But how would things really play out?
Hikigaya didn't even bother to imagine. Soon enough, reality would come crashing down on all of Class D.
...
On his way to the cafeteria, Hikigaya felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Although every fiber of his being resisted, his body, conditioned by years of social obligation, made him instinctively answer the call.
"Hello?"
"Hikigaya, it's Horikita Manabu."
The student council president? Out of the blue?
Hikigaya quickly adjusted his posture and responded with uncharacteristic enthusiasm,
"President, what can I do for you?"
"Don't forget to come by after school to handle some paperwork."
"Oh, right. Got it."
The call ended as abruptly as it started, lasting no more than a few seconds.
Well, that was certainly in line with the president's style.
The Horikita siblings were experts at not inconveniencing others, to the point where it was almost admirable.
In a way, it aligned perfectly with Hikigaya's taste...
As he continued toward the cafeteria, his phone buzzed again.
What now? Did the president have something else to add?
Perplexed, Hikigaya answered the call. But the moment he heard the voice on the other end, he almost dropped his phone in shock.
"Hello there, Hikigaya."
"Sakayanagi?"
Of all people, it was Sakayanagi Arisu. The moment he realized who was calling, Hikigaya felt his heart race, as if screaming in panic.
Why was this little demon looking for him again?
"Heh, you don't sound too pleased to hear from me."
"No, not at all. How could I be?"
After having dealt with Sakayanagi's devilish nature firsthand during their last encounter, Hikigaya had unofficially ranked her at the top of his personal list of the school's weirdos.
For the record, Ayanokoji was still the hidden boss—his time to make the list hadn't come yet.
"Good," she said, her voice carrying that same enigmatic smile. "I enjoyed our last conversation, Hikigaya-kun. I'm looking forward to another deep exchange. Let's meet today at six after school. Don't be late."
"…"
Before he could respond, she hung up.
Hikigaya stared blankly at his phone.
Did Sakayanagi forget to mention where we're supposed to meet?
Or was this... intentional?
Recalling her sudden appearance the last time they met, Hikigaya's instincts screamed that something was off.
He scanned his surroundings. Sure enough, he could sense the faintest hint of eyes on him.
Great. I enrolled in high school, not a spy academy, right?
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