I never returned to the hospital, which was entirely unfair of me. My anger at my father carried over to Brack. I was horrible. The man I loved hadn't fully recovered and I left him at the hospital alone. Okay, he had his parents and his team. But, bottom lineI was horrible and a coward. I ignored the calls from Brack and my father. Again- coward.
I needed complete control of my life. It took me two weeks to come up with a plan. During those two weeks, I hired a new coach and trained until I could barely walk. I trained with a purpose. I'd had my own money. Not just from tennis but from my mother. I'd never used it. That was the way I punished her and myself. Now, for the first time, I paid for my own coach.