Chương 487: Chapter 4 Part I
Even though the elder Horikita had disappeared from our sight, we still looked at that direction for some time.
But we couldn't just stay immersed within this downhearted atmosphere.
So I used my words to get rid of the resolute unbudging state of Horikita.
"So you're alone now."
"…Yeah."
Although it wasn't the last time they'll see each other, for the next 2 years, she won't be able to hear his voice, let alone see his figure.
But Horikita's face tightened, and a severe expression appeared.
"Thank you, Ayanokouji-san… you've really helped me a lot today."
"Really? I feel like I'm just getting in the way of you two."
"That's not the case. If you haven't talked with my brother, I wouldn't have been able to catch up. Thank you very much."
Horikita expressed her gratitude to me who really shouldn't have been here.
But her line of sight didn't reach me, and she looked away.
"And this was the day my brother embarked on his journey. It would have been sad if no one but me came to see him off…"
Although this was her brother's decision, it would indeed feel a bit lonely.
There should have been more people seeing him off originally.
The fact he didn't do that must be because he was trying to make it easier for his sister.
In order to make it easier for Horikita to come and talk to him, he decided to send away the other people.
This was probably all part of the elder Horikita's calculations.
"Your brother and I have a sort of relationship together, so I just wanted to talk to him again."
Although I wasn't too close to him at the start, I now wanted more opportunities to talk with him more, but it's too late for that now.
The two of us walked back to the dormitory.
"About your hair, you really decided to cut it, huh."
Considering how she was acting normal yesterday, as well as her lateness today, it's not hard to believe that she suddenly resolutely decided to cut her hair this morning. It must've been a last-minute choice.
"I've always liked this hairstyle. But it feels a little weird."
Even so, if she just randomly cut it, ruining the wonderful stage her brother prepared for her was not a good thing.
If you wanted to dress up nicely to see him off, there was a risk of arriving late.
But in the end, the gamble paid off.
"But, wouldn't it be better to have just talked to me first? If you were afraid of not seeing your brother, you could've used me to stall and increase the chances of seeing him."
As long as I knew that she would come, I would definitely help.
If it meant talking more to stall the time…
"Would you help me if I asked for your assistance?"
"Today, no matter what, I'll help you."
"I wasn't sure… is what I'd like to say, but I was planning to ask for your help back then."
Horikita replied in this way, but when I looked at my cell phone, there was no record of anything.
"Because I was too anxious back then, I left my phone in the dormitory before leaving to cut my hair, but when I finally realized I didn't have it on me, my hair was already being cut. Really! My thought process is too slow."
In other words, she felt helpless at that time. Rather than returning to the dormitory to retrieve her phone, she decided to run straight to the main entrance.
"Way too stupid."
Horikita said as she laughed at herself.
"It also tells me that the firm resolution you had this morning was extremely important to you, Horikita."
It was a bit funny, imagining what Horikita looked like as she rushed into the shop right after they opened.
But it was because Horikita always acted according to plan, it was understandable that making simple mistakes like that would shake her up.
"Cutting my hair was a way to differentiate myself."
"What your brother liked, did you think about it then?"
"Of course. I wanted to go back to becoming the old me, and it coincided with wanting to catch up to my brother, that's all. In another sense, it was the best way to convey my feelings."
So this strategy was just all a coincidence.
Because I was used to looking at her long hair for a year now, I had strong feelings about this change.
"How does it feel, returning to yourself after all these years?"
"Even if you asked me that, I have no idea how to express it. Sure, I liked this short hair when I was a kid, but I've been used to having long hair for so long. My feelings now are quite complex, to tell the truth."
The short hair that she liked, and the long hair that she'd come to accept.
The past and the present self. No matter which, they were still both Horikita Suzune.
"Now I feel, no matter which version of myself, I can accept it."
As she said that, Horikita touched her short hair with her fingertips.
"So I want to think about this from the start. The me right now should have something I haven't seen before. For the next two years, should I leave it to grow, or should I not? If I do leave it to grow, then it'll take around 2 years for it to grow to the length that it was before…just in time for when we graduate."
Both her past and present self have been accepted by Horikita.
"What I can understand now, is that it has nothing to do with how long my hair is, as I'm already able to straightforwardly face my brother already."
I looked forward to how this short-haired Horikita would develop in the future.
In Horikita Manabu's final moments at the school, he left his sister with many assets. Before, I'd always thought that I needed to help Horikita for her to grow, but it seems like I've judged wrong at the end.
"Are you still feeling unwell?"
To be honest, an hour-no, even if you gave me a day, I wouldn't be able to say what I wanted. There was so much I wanted to say these past years, that I wanted to say, but I couldn't, that it could be piled up as high as a mountain.
"There… there's no helping that.
Horikita nodded, accepting that.
"Besides, the wall obstructing my brother and I had already been removed. I just need to complete these next two years, and then I can talk to him as much as I want, right?"
"That's true. After all, he said he'll be waiting for you when you graduate."
After graduation, she should be free to get into touch with the outside world.
And by then, she would be able to meet her brother again, and speak without any limits.
"It's been a rewarding day today, but let's not be too greedy, or it might come to bite us."
Her attitude changed too quickly.
That's right, she seemed to have switched over again on the surface.
And in her mind right now, she was probably doing everything she could to pretend to be calm, wanting to switch over to that state.
But switching attitudes just like that wasn't that simple.
"But- it's fine if it's just this."
Horikita, who stopped and did not turn around, said this while standing still.
Her face wasn't facing me.
No, it was more accurate to say that she couldn't face me.
"What is it?"
Although I understood within, I pretended to ask anyway.
If it was the usual calm and collected Horikita, she would have noticed that I was playing dumb.
But, today's Horikita couldn't see through my facade.
"I… I want to walk around a bit before going back."
She had an expression that basically said she secretly wanted me to go back to myself without her first.
"Walk around?"
I asked her where she wanted to go, but she couldn't answer.
"No, I want to go, take a walk or something."
There was a slight trembling as she vaguely answered.
"Should I come with you?"
"There's no need."
As she spoke those vague words, Horikita stepped away from me.
Not towards the Keyaki mall, or the convenience store.
She was trying to find a place where she could be alone.
If she walked to the dormitory with me, it would probably be too late.
I caught up with Horikita in this state.
"Why… are you following me?"
Horikita didn't look back as she whispered that at me.
"Yeah, I wonder why."
"If there's no reason, don't follow me."
Despite the rejection from her, I wasn't planning on going back.
Because during this one year, she's done some undesirable things to me many times.
"Then let me explain why. It's because I wanted to tease you."
"…What are you saying, I don't understand."
"Oh, so let me tell you then."
"You really don't need to."
"No, I insist."
I opened my mouth slowly, in order to break that resolute defence of hers.
"When you're sad, you shouldn't suppress those feelings. Wouldn't it be better to just cry?"
I only said that one sentence.
"…You, didn't you hear what I said?"
"I heard. Aren't you happy you were able to reconcile with your brother?"
"Yes. That's why I'm satisfied. Where, where can you see any sadness in me?"
"There's no way you're satisfied. It's true that you finally can talk to each other after 2 years, but humans aren't creatures that can be so easily satisfied.
The girl who dreamed of that day had no choice but to endure 2 more years.
Although it wasn't like she wouldn't have any happy feelings, this couldn't be just it.
"I'm… satisfied. I'm satisfied."
"If that's the case, would you mind turning this way to face me?"
Horikita still had her back to me.
She didn't listen to my request, and shook her head from left to right.
"I refuse. Why must I do such a thing?"
"Yeah. I wonder why."
Faced with Horikita who was walking fast and trying to escape, I said that to her from behind.
"It doesn't matter if you want to cry."
After 2 years she reunited with her brother, only to be rejected.
Fighting alone with a high fever on an uninhabited island.
Becoming the object of hatred because of the Class Vote.
But even at those times, Horikita did not cry.
"I, I…"
She stopped walking forward.
After working so, so hard, she finally was able to communicate her feelings with her brother.
If tomorrow came, then they would certainly return to talking and laughing with each other.
However, the elder Horikita had already passed through this gate, starting a new journey.
The next meeting they'll have would be in 2 years.
"Don't… Don't want…"
Horikita's voice started to tremble slowly.
During these 2 long years, Horiikta would have no choice than to fight, here at this very school.
"But, isn't there no other way…!"
Within the unyielding Horikita's eyes, something that was held back for so long finally flowed out
Now, she thought about her brother that had just left.
"But——!"
"I finally…finally realized the errors of my ways…!"
Horikita collapsed, and fell to her knees.
Both hands covered her face, trying to hold back the tears that kept flowing out.
"Yet I've separated from my brother again…!"
If it was possible, Horikita would definitely want to walk out of that entrance together with her brother.
The sister that solemnly saw her brother off silently.
"Yeah. You'll be alone now."
"Alone…Alone…!"
<Illustration>
The loudly weeping girl was like a child.
Letting the tears flow out, but even so, Horikita wanted to endure.
If it weren't for the school, Horikita would follow her brother to the ends of the earth.
They could see each other, and talk to each other whenever they wanted.
"Now, you just need to cry as much as you want. After that, you'll need to show your brother in the future how much you've grown in. From now on, nothing is restricting your growth."
There was no need to worry. There were still 2 years left, and during then, Horikita will definitely grow tremendously.
Her brother had to be looking forward to it.
"So that's it….Manabu."
My voice, which could no longer reach him, was sucked into the blue sky which ushered in the spring.
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