Chương 25: Annoyingly confusing 2
I felt annoyed and so angry with her that I really wanted to slap her but controlled myself. I felt sad and hurt. She is really doing this purposely and she is winning on this round because I'm beginning to hate her. But the more I do, I still can't make myself hate her but love her even more. My heart is crazy. And I think I'm insane for letting myself be off guarded. Leila is just three inches from me for the taking. But I think it's a mistake opening my heart again for this vicious monster, eating me alive, my heart, my life. Grrr!!! I hate her!
When Sasa left, Leila's head is still down defeated staring at the floor, regretting what she said about her most loved person in the world. She wanted to talk to her but her pride and pity of her odd and fake self keeps creeping, blaming, trying to make other's lives miserable because she feels the same inside. Leila cried and fell to the ground thinking that Sasa won't forgive her anymore and love her just the same, because she is now all human and part robot.
Sasa was talking to her business partners but her mind is flying to when Leila and her was happy. She didn't know what happened and why they are like this now, broken, teasing and annoying each other's company like there's now right between them anymore. How can she get closer to Leila if her love doesn't even like her at all.
Lillian talked with her mom that she needed to attend a work conference in London. It wasn't my idea but my assistant may have pulled some strings so I can have Leila for myself for three months the least. The conference will start in London then will continue in France and lastly in the Netherlands. Lillian is our representative for the company and I'm proud my team chose her for she is great at her position as our manager for the brand and always preceeds our expectations in terms of sales, marketing and the clothing industry. She is capable of making my product sell and be one of the most catered brand the whole clothing industry always responded to and accepted all these years.
Leila seemed restless since Lillian won't be there to assist her with all her needs but I placed a nurse and maid to care for her and her personal needs day in and day out. She likes the idea and seems to appreciate them more than seeing or being with me. I don't know about the reason but she is cold when I'm around or maybe she's just acting that she doesn't care but loves me a lot. I wish that's really the case and not the first reason, that she will remain cold with me, and I don't want that to happen.
When I left Mr. Shang's care and wanted to venture out in the world, it wasn't that pretty at all. I thought that if I had the money, the influence and connections I would never experience judgments, defeat or even discriminations. But believe me even if I looked hot, I had the riches and the girls flocking like birds on a prey, I still got hated, bullied and felt inferior.
Leila and I's friends were Jorge, Craig (my late husband) Georgie and Mel. I haven't mentioned them before because they left before the end of the high school semester. I was closer to Leil anyway and Craig was like an acquaintance, Georgie and Mel were Lei's best buddies who got jealous of me because wanted to hang out more with me than them. I met Georgie and Mel when I came to New York ten years ago and we've became close until now. Before I dated Craig and became serious with him, I bumped into Georgie and Mel at a restaurant my staff and I dined in that night. New York is beautiful at night with its lights and signboards that turns on and off like Christmas lights in winter seasons. I loved the nightlife, the crowd but not the traffic and the nearby smell of vomits, sweat and street people.
Though I have nothing against street people I help them with my charities and foundations. The government help and assist these needy citizens giving out food stamps and free lodgings which I have started to build two more free structures for them as their temporary homes like a bed spacer. I watched the film The Pursuit of Happiness and it touched me to give back and pay it forward since I have been blessed with a lot. I am required to give a lot to those who are in need of my help and it's a pledge I made with God when I was just starting with my business under Mr. Shang's apprenticeship. What he gave me was more that I could ever ask for and those days going to colleges or universities is more expensive than working my way up the ladder in business management. Mr. Shang became my mentor and my partner in his businesses such as the book store, the stalls in his market and his building constructions, etc. Rock is a unique individual and not the typical Chinese man I watched in the movies who can't speak English or believes in marriage or pre-arranged marriage just like the conservative Chinese people practice in his country.
So, I was 22 years and been earning $500,000.dollars in stocks a month and hundred of thousands with the companies I built inside the whole company I created, Rock Industries. I named my first business management firm after my mentor and I'm still in search for him for over eight years now, to thank him for his inspirations, wisdom and motivations. I was never known to be called Marissa or Sasa but Lady Boss. Everybody in my company or the people I know call me that and no matter I tell them to call me Marissa or Sasa, they don't seem to listen. And that made me lose my own identity, myself and who I really am. I am rich, powerful and influential but I am human too. I make mistakes and I get hurt too. I'm not always tough and brave, I get weak and get scared of cockroaches, heights and pukes whenever I get out of planes. The reason why I bought my own private planes so nobody can judge me when I puke after every flight.
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