A week after kidnapping Dracula I was using Parallel Processing to quickly process the memories of the Primordial. I had "Team Rocket" scrap everything the castle had that was still intact. I was on the verge of completely processing the memories when an Elder Lich approached me.
Lich: "Apologies creator but I bring news of a captured intruder."
Rio: "Really, were you able to ascertain what species it is?"
Lich: "Yes, it is a Vampire or rather a Half-Vampire."
Rio: "A half Vampire? Then that means either it was a natural Vampire or its other half was equal in strength to a Vampire. Give me half an hour and I will come to see this Half-Vampire, until then don't let them escape."
Lich: "As you command creator."
30 Minutes Later...
I looked at the Half-Vampire that was caught trying to figure out what the other half was. After a few minutes, I decided to just use Observe.
[Name: Shmebulock The 3rd
A Half-Gnome Half Vampire that is the world's foremost Vampire hunter. Was born to a mother who was assaulted by an Elder Vampire. The Elder Vampire came later to know of such a birth and killed Shmebulocks mother but left Shmebulock alive so he could amuse the Elder Vampire. Currently scared of you and your undead.]
Rio: "Hello my name is Rio. May I have your name?"
Shmebulock: "It's Shmebulock the 3rd."
Rio: "Nice to meet you Shmebulock. You do not need to fear me or the undead. We only came here to slaughter the Vampires. However, that doesn't include you as I can tell you are not evil like the Vampires here."
Shmebulock: "Uh, thanks for not killing me?"
Rio: "There is no need to thank me. I try to only kill those who deserve it. Though I am sorry to say that you might be out of the job now. There are less than a few hundred Vampires left in the world."
Shmebulock looks up at me with widened eyes. I can sense awe and melancholy.
Shmebulock: "You... you killed all the Vampires here. How?"
Rio: "I am quite skilled but I had help from some Angels. That being said I don't mind hiring you to kill the remaining Vampires or you can also just leave here. It's up to you, I don't mind either way. I will kill the remaining ones if you don't."
Shmebulock: "I came here to see if my father was here. If you killed him I am not sure what I would do."
Rio: "Hmm, give me his name and a description and I will see if I can help."
Shmebulock: "His name is George the Black Blooded. He wears a red 1850s Nobles Attire with a black tophat. He may change his coat but never the hat. He loves the hat more than anything in this world."
Rio: "Let me check real quick."
I leave the room and use the Palantir to see where George is. I quickly find him as he is sleeping in a coffin in an old English fort near the Welsh border. I also see that he has nearly 100 Vampires with him. I walk back into the room.
Rio: "Well, I have good news or bad news depending on your point of view. Your father is alive but protected by nearly 100 Vampires in an old English fort near the Welsh border."
Shmebulock: "Sigh. Well, I wanted to kill him myself so I guess that would be good news."
Rio: "I am going to be blunt, you can kill the 100 Vampires surrounding him. Though they may kill you before getting to him you stand no chance of killing your father at this time. He is an Elder Vampire. A very young one which is not a good thing."
Shmebulock: "I sort of knew he was likely an Elder but I never knew his exact age. But if he only became a Vampire in the 1850s then yeah I can see why I wouldn't stand a chance."
Rio: "Yes, sorry but from what I can tell he likely became an Elder in less than 100 years, which means he is likely turned by a Primordial, and further he has a talent for being a Vampire. You would likely need another 100-200 years before you might be a match for him normally."
Shmebulock: "I don't have to defeat him alone."
Shmebulock bows before me.
Shmebulock: "I know this is selfish but could you assist me in slaying my father? I will gladly serve you for eternity!"
Rio: "I don't see why I wouldn't help you. As for eternity are you sure? I am sure you realize I am not human and you could be serving me for an actual eternity."
Shmebulock: "I swear on my name and family legacy that I will gladly serve you until the end of my existence and beyond if necessary."
I felt the magic from his oath and realized that this Gnome was giving me everything he had to offer.
Rio: "I accept your oath and promise to give you the revenge you seek. Now come with me and we will go kill the remaining Vampires."
We take a Gate to the old English fort. I disguise myself as Robot Santa and tell Shmebulock to wait while I go mess with them. Then I walk in and get the attention of the Vampires.
Rio: "Ho Ho Ho, You have been very naughty this year. Now I am going to have to punish all of you."
The Vampires looked at each other with confused looks.
Vampire 1: "Uh am I the only one seeing a robot that looks like Santa Claus?"
Vampire 2: "No, I am seeing him too."
I put out a Tommy Gun that shoots holy magic lasers and I start blasting. Several Vampires don't react in time and are vaporized.
Rio: "HOHOHO!"
POV George
I was awoken by the High Vampire I had left in charge as I was resting.
George: "I hope you have a good reason for disturbing me or else I will rip your limbs off and leave you out for the sun to burn you."
Vampire: "Master, we have an intruder! They are slaughtering all the lower Vampires and their thralls!"
George: "And you are here telling me this instead of dealing with it why?"
Vampire: "I am not strong enough. The enemy seems to be a Robot Santa Claus."
I pause for a second as I process what he just said.
George: "I'm sorry but did you just say a Robot Santa is attacking us?"
The Vampire nods and I question if he has gone insane.
'Well, he wouldn't lie about such a ridiculous thing.'
George: "Okay, I have to admit I am now intrigued by this intruder. I have fought many things in my life, from the Ancient One to magical creatures but I have never fought a robot. Very well I shall help you. Lead the way."
The Vampire leads me to the intruder where I see exactly what he said was attacking us and had just finished the last of the lower Coven members.
Santa: "Oh, it's the naughtiest of them all. You have done some very naughty things this year. I am afraid you are going to have to be punished."
The robot points the gun he has and fires at me. I dodge to the left but my aide isn't so lucky and is killed.
George: "Holy Magic bullets? That is a new one. Now robot tell me who sent you here, I wish to visit them for this most unique present they have sent me."
Santa: "Hohoho, I was sent here by someone you know personally. They asked for my help in punishing you for killing their family."
George: "Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?"
Santa: "Too bad that's all you get."
The robot starts firing at me again forcing me to dodge. As I dodge I am suddenly grabbed and lifted by an unknown force. Strangely the shots stop and I am just held in the air unable to move or defend myself. I started to realize I might not survive this fight.
POV Rio
After I grabbed George in the Force I made sure he couldn't escape then put a collar on him that removed most of his Vampiric abilities.
'At least I got to use this invention once. It kind of sucks that I went through all that trouble to create this Anti-Vampire collar only for it to never see use until now. Though maybe I should have thought that I wouldn't need it if I killed all the Vampires. Hmm, the collar seems to work perfectly. Well, I can add it to the list of successes.'
Rio: "Okay you can come in. He has lost all of his powers and is no better than a human."
Shmebulock: "Really just like that. You disabled him that easily. I thought he was an Elder Vampire?"
Rio: "Well I just held him in a telekinetic field and then just put the collar on. I mean they aren't that strong if they can't move."
Shmebulock: "Huh, that seems a bit unfair."
Rio: "Oh it most definitely is. But they are evil so it doesn't matter."
George: "Stop ignoring me and you! You stupid little offspring of mine how dare you attack me! I am your father I made you!"
Shmebulock: "No you are just the DNA donor to my mother! The mother who you killed!"
Before George could respond I used a spell to transmute his mouth into a zipper and zipped it closed.
Rio: "Look you can yell at each other once I leave. Now Shmebulock you can kill him whenever you want. I have no use for him anyway since I already know where the Priomoridials are hiding."
I leave as Shmebulock walks closer to George as George backs away. Not long after the doors close I hear screams of agony. I transform out of my disguise and make my plans for how to kill the remaining Vampires. After about an hour Shmebulock leaves the room with a happy smile.
Shmebulock: "I can't thank you enough for helping me."
Rio: "No problem though this is where we part ways for a while. I am going to go kill the remaining Vampires. I will send you to a base of mine. Just wait there for a while. I will have your new supervisor come and see you soon."
Shmebulock: "Got it. I could use a rest after all that happened today."
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Authors Note:
Shmebulock is lightly inspired by the Gravity Falls character with the same name. He is a bit of a joke character but he will be seen occasionally. I plan for him to be Marceline's assistant or Aide. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and until next time Ciao.