I calmly walked up toward the chair under the eyes of all the cadets.
'In the end, I ended up being the last.'
I didn't mind it. Rather, it helped me to more or less understand better how the test worked and understand what things wouldn't work well. One such example would be tongue-biting.
During the trial, one cadet ended up biting their tongue off while training to keep themselves from screaming.
They ended up going to the infirmary.
"Put on the bracelet. I'll start when you're ready."
Click—
I felt my body tingle the moment the bracelet closed on my wrist.
'....How weird.'
It felt rather heavy.
"Hue."
I took a small breath and looked toward the assistant professor. Even now, I still didn't understand the reasoning behind his displeasure.
However, such things were trivial to me.
My thoughts quickly focused on the examination at hand.
'I wonder....'
I once again looked at the assistant professor and turned to look at the bracelet on me.
'....How much pain must I go through in my life before finally becoming immune to it?'
I felt the corner of my lips pull up at the thought as I mouthed.
"I'm ready."
Was I even close to such a point?
"I can start."
*
The pain started off as mild at first.
It tickled my body. Almost as if a current of low-voltage electricity was coursing through my body. From the bottom of my feet, all the way up toward my head.
The sensation coursed through every corner of my body.
"0.1"
The assistant professor's voice echoed in the background.
The pain intensified.
But...
'Is this it...?'
I looked around. Everyone was staring at me. Closely observing me as I sat down on the chair while the assistant professor announced the score.
"0.2"
There was still hardly any pain. This wasn't pain. I was familiar with pain. It didn't feel so weak.
"0.3"
The tingling intensified, but it was still tolerable.
Uncomfortable would be the right word to describe the current situation.
Yeah...
Uncomfortable.
"0.4"
My chest felt a little tighter, but that was still tolerable.
"0.5"
"0.6"
"0.7"
Finally, I felt a familiar sensation. Pain. It was finally starting.
It wasn't intense just yet, but it was there. Lingering toward the deepest part of my mind, it was starting to claw its way up into my mind.
"...."
The entire time my eyes had been open, taking in my surroundings without once closing them.
I wanted to make sure I was conscious.
"H-huh..."
At some point, I realized...
Breathing was becoming more and more difficult.
"0.8"
"0.9"
The higher the numbers, the harder it became for me to breathe.
I still persisted.
This much was...
"1.0"
"Ukh...!"
A groan escaped my lips.
The pain was sharp and different. Unlike before, when it felt like electricity was running through my body, the sensation changed. It was now more akin to me getting stabbed from all sorts of spots.
"1.1"
A stab in the chest.
"Ukh!"
"1.2"
A stab in the arm.
"...khhh!"
"1.3"
A stab in the leg.
"....Kaugkh!"
"1.4"
The pain focused on a singular point and was less spread apart. Such pain was a lot harder on the mind than the previous one. Especially since it became sharper and stronger with each call.
"1.5"
"1.6"
"Khak...!"
The count continued, and with each count, the pain intensified. I thought I'd be able to tolerate it given how much pain I had been able to sustain throughout my entire life, but that had been a naive thought of mine.
Pain...
I was still not used to it.
My lips trembled at the thought as I managed a mumble.
"Kh... B-bullshit...!"
'So you're telling me that after all this time, I'm still a slave to pain...?'
"H-ha...!"
"1.8"
How could that be?
"1.9"
"Kh....!!!"
How could that be....!!
"2.0"
".....!!!!!"
I almost faltered as I felt my body tremble and my arms shake unsteadily.
The pain had changed yet again. It was no longer stabbing at me from every corner. It now felt as though I was being literally squeezed alive.
As if a massive boulder was resting on my shoulders, gradually growing heavier with each passing second.
But even in such a situation...
I persisted.
"2.1"
"Ah—!"
I almost screamed then.
I was close. So very close. But I held myself back.
'No, not yet...'
2.1 was high. It sure was... but I expected more of myself.
How could I be satisfied with such a score?
Me...
Who bragged about knowing pain?
"2.2"
How comparable was this to the pain I felt when my parents died?
It was incomparable. It was a different pain, but it was a pain that took the breath out of me and kept it that way for months.
Each day... Knowing that they were gone, never to be seen again...
The hollowness that it brought.
"H-ha..."
It stung my heart.
'It's milder than that pain...!'
So.... What reason was there for me to not be able to withstand such pain?
What reason...!?
"2.3"
"Kh...!"
What about when compared to the pain I felt when I was told I was going to die early?
That I had no future to look forward to? That I was supposed to just give up and live the rest of what remained of my life.
Bullshit!
Bullshit...!
Bullshit....!!!
How was this comparable to that....!
Who the hell are you making fun of?!
"2.4"
....And what about the pain I felt when I watched my little brother almost kill himself in the vision?
"Kh...!"
And the pain from my repetitive failure in trying to understand a single spell?
How about that?!?
Fucking bullshit!
Bulshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!
'Ahhh...!'
Unknowingly, the world around me had long turned black and the noise outside disappeared.
It took me a while to realize, and when I did, I no longer screamed.
There was no longer a need to.
I wasn't alone anymore.
It was just me and the pain now.
Right...
Once more, it was just the two of us.
Even in this life, it still haunts me.
Yet, simultaneously, walks beside me.
I yearn to rid myself of it, yet I can't summon the strength to cast it aside.
Why is that?
It was a silly question when I thought about it.
In the end, pain is the one that remains by my side, never truly leaving me.
My one and only companion.
Which is why..... I know I can't get rid of it.
'Haha...'
Such is my life.
"Huaaa....!"
Light returned to my eyes as I felt my head roll back.
"Khh...! Kh...! Kaht!"
My body started moving on its own and my arms flayed around.
Kata! Kata! Kata!
Unknowingly, I had lost control of my body as it started to trash around on its own, the chair rattling widely at my movements.
Amidst the chaos, I felt something trickle down my eyes as I locked gazes with the assistant professor who was staring at me with wide-open eyes.
While I lost control of my body, I hadn't lost control of my mind.
Even as it flayed and spasmed, not once did I take my eyes away from the assistant professor.
Not once...
"Kk...!"
'Why...?'
This persisted for several more seconds until my body eventually started to calm down.
Kata... Kata...
"...."
Silence persisted over the surroundings as I continued to stare at the assistant professor.
Something boiled in my chest as I stared at him.
It threatened to spill at any second as my jaw clenched tightly and I tightly gripped the arms of the chair I was on.
"....Why did you stop it?"
To the point where I found myself gnawing at him.
"The test..."
I spat each word through my clenched teeth.
"Why. did. you. stop. it."
It was hard to describe the type of rage that I was currently feeling right now.
It wasn't one that was born out of frustration. It was different. A lot more vicious than that.
Hatred...
Yes, that was the right word.
"W-why...?"
Yet again... This man!
My chest heaved.
"You...!"
"Stop it right there, cadet."
A voice descended down on me, stopping me mid-sentence. A familiar figure walked in, her heels clicking against the ground as she walked to stand in front of me.
Professor Kelson.
"He-he stopped me...! He..."
"I stopped you."
The Professor cut in all of a sudden, shocking me as my mouth shut.
She stopped me…?
Bringing her hand forward, she touched my cheeks and pulled her hand back, showing me her finger.
"....This is why I stopped you."
Only then did I realize the severity of the situation.
"Blood...?"
"Your blood."
"....Ah."
What was bleeding?
"Your eyes are bleeding. I had no choice but to stop the test. If I had kept it going on for longer, you might've gone permanently blind."
".....I see."
So in the end... My body had failed me. If only...
"You still don't get the reality of the situation, do you?"
When I heard the Professor's voice again, I looked up and tilted my head. Only for me to hold my breath upon realizing something...
Everyone.
Be it those from my group, and those in the other groups.
They were all staring at me.
Unlike before, they all wore similar expressions to one another.
The reason why became clear to me shortly after.
"5.04"
The Professor said in a low tone while staring deeply into my eyes.
".....That's your final score."
***
This is the first chapter of today. There will be another one at the usual time.
"5.04? 5.04?! That's impossible...."
Evelyn stood with a blank face, gazing into the distance, uncertain of how to interpret the unfolding situation. Silence gripped the training grounds as every gaze fixated on the figure seated in the distance.
His demeanor remained unwavering, just as impeccably poised as ever.
Despite the creased clothes and disheveled hair, his expression retained the usual indifference it always carried.
The blood trickling down his eyes seemed inconsequential to him as if it was never there to begin with.
And so were the stares.
".....It's possible apparently."
It was Leon who brought Evelyn out of her thoughts. With a slight furrow of his brow, he tapped lightly against the sword at his hip.
His expression was hard to read, but to Evelyn, who had known him for as long as she had, it was evident that he, too, had been taken aback by the unfolding events.
'He doesn't like to show it, but he's shaken as well...'
Why else would he be tapping on the tip of his sword so much...?
"He's got a firm mind."
Leon concluded after a while, and the tapping stopped.
".....A very firm mind."
He repeated.
In a manner that seemed to be more for him, than for her.
Very firm mind...?
Evelyn blinked, recalling the scene from before.
It was nothing at first. Nobody had been curious about his result at first. Everyone was doing their thing. Focused on their upcoming examination.
That was...
Until a change began to take place in the training ground.
The noise that once filled the surroundings died down and what replaced it was a strange silence.
One that started to consume the surroundings bit by it, swallowing it whole by the next minute.
At first, Evelyn was confused.
But when she turned her head she understood.
'4.4'
Even now...
Recalling the professor's gruff voice as the count went down, she felt herself lose her breath.
4.4...
Had she heard wrong? How was this possible...?
But...
'4.5'
The rough voice continued.
It thundered in her ears, and the ears of all present.
Most gripping was Julien's steadfast figure as he sat in the middle of the chair. His back was firm, solidly placed on the chair as if nothing was happening.
His eyes were closed and so were his lips.
....His composed expression seemed unfitting to the occasion.
It was to the point where one questioned whether he was truly undergoing the tough experience they had all gone through.
'Is the test faulty? Is something wrong with it...?'
Seeing him like that, Evelyn couldn't help but start doubting the situation. Even now she could still recall the spine tingling and terrifying sensation she felt during the test. Just thinking about it sent shivers down her spine.
And yet...
Julien was taking double such pain without so much as flinching?
No way...!
Impossible.
It was Impossi-
Drip... Drip...
Such thoughts stopped the moment she noticed two red streaks falling down his closed eyes.
Even as his body remained unmoved, and his expression unwavering, his body was not. It was starting to betray him.
She understood then...
She hadn't heard wrong...
He truly...
"Just what the hell happened in the last five years?"
Evelyn's gaze fell on Leon. Her eyes deeply stared into his as he turned his head to look away from her.
"...."
He didn't say much, but his silence told her many things.
In the end...
Something did happen in the five years they hadn't seen each other. Something terrifying enough to turn him like that.
But what...?
What happened?
***
"We've only just recently parted ways, and you're already back here..."
The familiar doctor grumbled while he shone a light on my eyes. It was quite bright, and I reflexively tried to close my eyes.
"Help me out here."
After the examination, I was brought to the infirmary by Professor Kelson to get my eyes checked. I didn't resist. I too was a little worried about my eyes. It wasn't normal for someone to bleed from their eyes.
"....Do you feel any pain?"
"I don't."
It was strange. A weird sensation had taken hold of my body. I felt light all over. My entire body was numb, and be it pain, or the sense of touch... I had lost it all.
Smack—!
A loud smack caught my attention. When I looked down, I noticed a red mark on my thigh and looked up.
"Did you feel anything?"
"....No."
Did he just....
"I see."
The Doctor sighed and turned back to look at the Professor.
"He's fine, but he's temporarily lost his sense of pain and touch. It shouldn't last longer than a week, but things will be rather troublesome for him in the next week. I suggest he doesn't do anything big in the next week for his own sake."
He then proceeded to look at me in the eyes.
".....I'll say this now because I don't want to see you again over here. Don't. do. anything. strenuous. in. the. next. week. got. it?"
"I can't train?"
"No."
"Then..."
"What don't you get about my orders? Don't do anything that involves moderate to light exercise. It may seem like nothing, but you've lost your sense of pain. You won't know when you're overexerting your body when you train. This can very well get you killed if you're not being careful."
"...."
At that, I had nothing to argue about.
Thinking about how I usually trained, I knew that his words were the correct ones. There was a high chance that by the time I was done training, I'd also be done with this life.
Still....
Even though I knew all of this...
I clenched my teeth.
It was frustrating.
While a week didn't sound like much, it was a lot of time for me. When every single day meant so much to me, wasting seven meant losing a lot... I really couldn't afford to miss out on so many days of training.
But...
"Huuu."
I took a deep breath to calm myself down.
'Right, the situation is like this. I have no choice but to accept it and find a new way to grow.'
Even without training my body physically.
Yeah, because...
I had no choice. Rather than crying over my situation, I had to adapt to my current one.
That's the type of mentality that I needed to have.
'Adapt. I need to adapt.'
One leg. No legs. No eyes. No senses. No arms.
Regardless of my situation, I had to adapt.
No excuses.
There were none for me.
Because...
An excuse was nothing more than a self-imposed roadblock.
I couldn't allow that.
Not me.
"Did you understand my words?"
Hearing the doctor's words, I raised my head to meet his eyes. After a short while, I nodded my head.
"Understood."
***
[Julien Dacre Evenus] (Black Star)
Family - Evenus Barony [First Born]
Progression Analysis :
•Mana Examination — 1.716
•Physical Examination — 1.189
•Mental Examination — 5.04
Delilah glanced at the results that were spread on her table. The once dirty room was now clean. At least... partially.
Num...
Chewing on a chocolate bar, she tossed the wrapper on the ground. Just as she did, her hand froze and her eyes fell on the wrapper on the floor. Her expression cracked and her face crunched up.
"....I'll do it later."
Her gaze fell on the paper in front of her.
Yeah, this was more important...
The numbers weren't anything impressive at first glance. At least, not until the final value was shown.
"5.04."
Delilah double-checked several times to make sure hadn't received the wrong numbers.
Eventually, once she was sure that they were indeed the right ones, she sat back on her chair without saying a word.
'....What happened?'
To display such numbers at such age and Tier... It was unheard of. Not here, nor in the other Empires.
And yet...
Here she was, staring at such unbelievable results.
"Anger. Sadness. Fear."
These were the emotions he had displayed so far. Each of them to an unbelievable degree.
No, not quite.
"Sadness."
There was one that stood out from the rest.
She hadn't seen it herself, but she had heard of what he'd done with it.
Unlike the other two, he was capable of harnessing such power with mere words. That alone suggested he had already reached the next stage for such emotion.
"Eighteen, but shows such an unbelievable display of emotions."
It became clear the more Delilah thought about it.
There was more to Julien's past. The one she hadn't managed to unseal from her background checks.
Something happened that she wasn't aware of.
.....Something that broke him to the point where the pain seemed meaningless, and traumatic enough to allow him to experience such emotion to such degree.
But what exactly...?
The image of a certain tattoo kept replaying in her mind over and over again.
"I'm missing something..."
Something extremely important.
But what exactly?
Her gaze continued to linger over the profile on the table until eventually, she closed her eyes, and opened them again, replacing the cold gaze with a softer one.
"...Right, he's my assistant now."
The truth of the matter...
She was bound to find out sooner or later. Especially since he was now close to her.
All she had to do was be patient.
"One day..."
Yeah, one day.
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