Chương 6: Reminisce
"Azami! What is this?!" I made sure the stove was turned off before running into my father's room to see him not there.
I turned back into the living room to see the broadcaster muted, but still no dad, "Papa, where are you?"
"Come. Here. Now!" This time I knew exactly where he was...my room.
The box!
With my heart beating a mile a minute I slowly walked into my room, stopping at the doorframe. I looked up at him to see him fuming holding the box in one hand while staring back at me with a crimson red face. "Where the hell did you get this?! And why is it in your room! If someone found this—"
He stopped mid-sentence as we both looked at each other.
'If someone found this?'
I stared at him, opening my mouth to say something but he cut me off, "how did you find this!? This is not a toy Azami we could both be killed if someone found this laying around!" He strode across the room and slapped me across the face.
I fell to the floor and began to cry as I held my stinging crimson cheek, "p-papa...I didn't know—" he stepped passed me and stomped into his room.
He slammed his fist into something, I don't know. I wasn't thinking about anything but the fact that he was this angry about a stupid box.
You took it without knowing what it was, then left it in the open. Don't be stupid and try to make this sound like nothing.
I'm not being stupid!! If it's something that can get us killed why does he have it?!
I got up off the floor and hesitatingly walked down the hall. I stopped short, standing just in front of my father's wide open door. I peered in to see him on the floor in front of his closet shaking his head and weeping.
He put his fingers into the hole and pulled out a tiny key.
HA!! I told you, stupid inner voice!
Shhh! He's going to open it!!
I took a step forward and the floorboards creaked. He whipped his head around to face me, hastily wiping the tears from his red cheeks.
Oh shit...is he still mad?
I instinctively backed away, slightly traumatized from being hit before. Papa looked at me with sorrow in his eyes and I knew he didn't mean it, but I still felt like I should run.
He stayed on his knees but beckoned for me to go over to him.
Sh-should I? He doesn't seem to be mad more...upset or depressed.
I walked closer to him, and by the time I reached his outstretched hand, he pulled me into a soft embrace. With that, I broke and began to cry with him. "Papa...I'm so sorry, I dropped a-a suitcase from the shelf and and and—" he pulled me closer and stroked my head.
As he comforted me, he also apologized softly, "Shh shh...I should be the one apologizing to you sweetie, I was out of line. I had no right to hit you...you didn't know." I looked up to him as he rocked me back and forth, "I'll explain everything soon, but for now let's just stay like this..."
And we did. I think at one point I even fell asleep.
When I woke up papa was leaning against his bedroom wall looking at the ceiling still stroking my head. "Papa...?" He looked down at me and smiled.
"Are you ready for dinner now...? I think I can recall you making a special stew..." I popped out of his lap without even a second thought and ran to the kitchen.
I looked at the sky and saw that it was already seven o'clock, "I'll heat it, but come sit down!" I heard him get up and step into the kitchen, but instead of sitting down I heard the clanking of metal behind me.
I froze. I didn't know what was going on and was too afraid to turn around. I hesitated a moment but then slowly turned around to see my dad cutting the bred that I left before.
How could I forget about the bread! Gosh and here I was thinking papa was still mad about a stupid box.
I laughed to myself then turned back to the stew. "It's ready! Just in time too, it looks like you just finished cutting everything!!" I smiled softly at him and set the pot down on the table.
As we ate we talked about our days. Papa talked about how Mr. Baek found a pinkish yellow apple today to bring home to his daughter Mari. She and I talk once in a while when we see each other at the trading markets.
I talked about how I walked past the wheat fields instead of the corn fields today to get to Hama and Haru after papa finished telling me about the fields.
We finished dinner and both cleaned up so we could get ready for bed. After I was dressed I opened my curtain to the hallway, since we're not allowed doors until the third stage of our life, and sat in my mat staring through the window. I turned at the sound of a creak in the wooden floorboards, "the sky is beautiful, I love how you can always see the different stars and constellations every night."
I stared at him for a moment then turned back to the window. "Azami, I think it's time..." before I could turn around to ask him what he was talking about I heard the soft thump of wood against wood and felt a slight bump from the floor. "This box," I turned to look at him as he stared down at it on the floor, "is your mother's." He looked up at me with a severe stare, with a hint of rage.
I looked down at the box, then back at his sharp stare. "B-but mom didn't have anything to her name, she's not even alive anymore!! You told me she was stoned after I was taken out of the rioting towns up north with you pa!" I stood up and started pacing the room.
How is this even possible! She's supposed to be dead after being punished for starting uprisings in the north with papa!
He never said she was alive, maybe you're just overthinking this.
Then why'd he say 'this box is your mother's?'
I stopped at the echo of my question plastered in my mind.
Was it just a mistake in his words or was she...?
I whipped my head back around to see the box slowly creak open, dust flying everywhere as papa blew lightly on the inside. After it, all cleared only a single item remained to leave me a little confused. "Your mother," Papa began slowly and softly, "she didn't want you to get mixed up in her endeavors, but when the time came... he paused, wiping away a single tear rolling down his face, "she told me to let you decide." Still kneeling on the floor, he lifted the box over his head handing it to me.
I-it's a... "it's a book."
I picked it up out of the small chest and flipped it open to the first page. I looked at the strange markings not knowing what it all meant, perplexed I looked down at my dad questioningly. "Your mother is a radicalist...she is still alive and sends letters every month telling me of how much progress she is making with the government. We use a secret code different from the one in this book, so I have absolutely no idea what is written here, only your mother does. Now Azami..." He paused for a moment standing up, "I know this is a lot to take in but you need to make a choice, especially now that you've seen this artifact." I looked up at him, he looked back at me with determination.
W-what does all of this mean? I have to choose what...?
He could see the confusion in my eyes so he began to explain exactly what he meant. "This book," he flipped it open and went to a few pages in, "holds decades of our country's past. It's the key to stopping all of this and bringing back education for us all."
That word again, education. Papa would always tell me stories of people learning how to read and speak other languages, but I thought it was all just part of his stories.
I backed away and held my head with my forefingers pacing the room. "S-so...mom, my mom! She left me this—"
Geez! What was it called?
A book Azami, come on try to keep up!
I can't! This is insane, is this some stupid prank again?!
I looked back at him and began again, "—this strange book that I accidentally found under the floorboards that could get us both killed." I leaned against the wall and thought for a few moments.
Papa came next to me and held my shoulders, "she wanted you to decide on your own if you wanted to join her rebellion or stay here and become a farmer when you become a second stage. Whatever you choose, just have your sensible reasons for either one." I looked at him for a moment.
I wouldn't know why I would even want to help mom...I thought she was dead!
Why don't you ask him what exactly he means, everything is so vague right now.
I should, but...
I looked back at him, and he stared back at me.
"Tell me about what mom is fighting for." The minute I said this, he got up, closed the bedroom window and curtain to my room.
His face was intense and unmoving, "she wants people to know the truth about our country, she wants us to be free."
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