Chương 1: An Inconvenient Beginning
Imagine if you will, a twenty-five year old man running for his life; being targeted for death for unknown reasons. He's lived his whole life as humbly and peacefully as possible like any well-mannered human should; only to be unbelievably pursued by a trio of little demons that wanted him dead for some unknown evil he may have done in the past or recently. And that human that you're seeing is me, Barry Townsend.
I'm never one to get into trouble nor to start any. And yet despite all that patience and hard work into being a good person earning an honest living, trouble still found me and wanted to fuck my life up. As far as I was concerned, I wasn't going to die without getting some goddamn answers about why this was happening to me and who wanted me gone. It's hard to believe I was just getting done with another day of work and going home when all hell broke loose for me.
By some stroke of god-given luck, I made it home nearly out of breath and feeling like luck was against me. Searching frantically, I found my Ruger Mark IV in my room and loaded it with a spare clip I always kept handy in case of trouble. Standing by my door, I cocked it and held it ready for shooting. "Oh please lord! Please help me get through this ordeal alive and in one piece. I promise to make it up to you for whatever I did wrong. Just give me an answer of why this is happening to me." I muttered to myself. Holding my gun close to me, I kept my cool and tried to keep a clear head.
Just when I felt at ease, something crashed through my bedroom window there were the three little demons mentioned before (I later found out they were imps) and landed right on me bed. Two of them obviously were male with the third was female and all of them had red skin. The lady she-imp had a long, demonic tail with white markings, red skin, eyes with yellow scleras and black pupils, and long black eyelashes that extended beyond the sides of her hair. She also had two black horns with three thin white stripes and greyish-black hair worn in a messy bob style and bangs that covered half of her right horn and a beauty mark on her left cheek and a gap between her front teeth. Her head was noticeably more human-like (and yet no nose).
Her attire consisted of black lipstick, a simple black choker, a cold-shoulder black crop top with gold buttons where the straps at the top meet the torso piece, torn black pants, fingerless black gloves, and black footwear that does not cover her hoof-like toes. She also had a black tattoo in the shape of a heart on her right shoulder, and two white splotches on the insides and outsides of each of her elbows.
The one male next to her had white freckles on his cheeks, pointy hair leading up to his curvy black and white striped horns. He also had yellow sclera with black slit pupils. His long red thin tail had a quadrilateral barb at the end, and had lanky digitigrade legs ending in what appeared to be cloven red hooves, reminiscent of artiodactylids (a fancy word for hoofed animals). He wore a navy-black coat with red buttons and white cuffs, black pants a white shirt that had a black turtleneck, a large red bow-tie, and fingerless gloves.
The other male imp was very lanky and jester-like with a pointed tail that conversely had wide-proportioned hands, pointed feet with a boot-like heel, and a narrow head with curved horns. His eyes had black lines running down the eyelids and his sclera is yellow with a red iris. His crimson skin had trace white blotches that covered his right eye and the tip of his tail, black-and-white striped horns with black spines between them running to his tail, and black stripes around his tail. A heart-shaped skull symbol rested on his forehead. He wore a torn black collared coat with red buttons, black boots (incidentally sharing the same shape as his feet), large black gloves with yellow eyes on them and a red skull charm around his neck.
They each had a weapon in hand, the two males with a gun (one with a sniper rifle, the other a flintlock pistol) and the female had a knife in hand. I kept my Ruger out in front of me, ready to fire on whoever was coming after me first. "I don't know who the fuck sent you after me, but I have the right to know the reason why I'm marked for murder. So if you would be so kind, I promise to only to take one of you down with me should you still come at me."
The demon that wore the bow tie spoke up. "Honestly, sir, we couldn't really tell you. All we know is the client who asked for us was anonymous by name and paid big for your death. Don't take it all personally, okay? It's all just business with us, so how about just putting down the gun and-"
"Oh sure Moxxie, make fucking conversation with the target before sending him off into the next life," said the jester-like demon sarcastically to the other known as Moxxie. "Just kill him already!"
"But sir, shouldn't we at least let him know something before killing him?"
"Mox, you don't fucking make nice with an animal that you're about to shoot for dinner later okay? You just shoot the thing, end of story! So stop acting a baby sucking on his mama's tits and make the kill!"
"Hang on a minute!" I said interrupting them. "As much as I hate to derive someone from their own job, I really don't want to die today. So how's about you don't eliminate me and just say that you did?" I kept my gun trained on them, not letting my guard down for one second. "That way we can all go home happy."
"We'd love to, really. But we really just can't," said the lady demon that had a southern accent. "Guilty and innocent aren't our business. Killing who we're paid to kill is our business."
"Yes thank you, Millie. At least someone here is on point. Alright gang, let's bag us another tally on the kill chart," said the jester demon, cocked pistol in hand and pointed it at me just the same as Moxxie with the sniper rifle.
It seemed like it was getting nowhere so I tried one last thing. "Wait-wait-hold on! Is there really anything I can do to persuade you guys not to kill me? I'm not really one to beg here but there's got to be some kind of deal we can work out, mister...?" I asked the jester demon.
"Blitzo is the name pal, and the 'O' is silent. And what exactly did you have in mind?"
I hesitated for a moment. "Well uh...you got a janitor?"
Blinking in surprise, Blitz didn't know exactly how to respond to that. "Uhhh...no, don't think we do. What makes you qualified?"
If I couldn't persuade them, at least it would be worth a shot. "Well, my current job I've been for about four years so far has been nothing but cleaning as a janitor usually does. I'd show my résumé to you if you don't mind me humoring you just a little longer."
Blitz's eyes narrowed in thought for a moment, feeling a bit hesitant. "Well, it's been a slow menopausal day so far. Alright, fetch it."
"This way, please." Slowly backing up through the doorway, I kept my gun up at them in case they tried to shoot me in the back (figuratively and literally) as they followed, our weapons trained on each other while moving into the living room.
Scouring through some files I kept on hand, I fumbled to find the few copies of my resume I kept on hand in case I came across a better job; and I was certainly glad I did. Never turning my head, except for only once to make sure it was the right file, I handed the small demon the printed resume in which he took from me and looked it over. "There ya go, demon dude." I said to Blitz.
"Imp actually," said Moxxie who relaxed a little with his weapon. There, you see? Told ya.
"Eh?"
"We're not demons, we're imps. Smaller and more known for having horns than demons."
"Ah. Gotcha." I gave him an understanding nod. "Funny how they never mentioned that part in religious texts," said the thoughts in my head.
After thoroughly looking it over, Blitz looked up. "How much are you asking for payment?"
"It's negotiable. Normally, I just don't question how much and either just go with it or ask how much someone's offering. But if it's anything to keep me alive, I'll do it for oh...free?" I seemed to have convinced him because I saw his eyes light up with delight at the magic word that was 'free'.
"Done!" Blitz said without hesitation. "Come with us and we can get started." Moxxie looked flabbergasted just from Blitz so easily agreeing to it, though the female imp didn't seem to mind.
"Then...you're not killing me?" I asked raising a brow, easing my gun down just a little.
"Unless we find someone better or you suck at it. Let's just see how well you do first." It was hard to tell if this imp was being sarcastic, serious, or both. Whatever the case, I wasn't going to take any chances and just play along for the sake of being alive.
"Alright Mr. Blitz, you got yourself a deal." I lowered my gun slightly a bit more but kept a mental awareness. "So when can I start?"
"How about today?" He offered as reached for his...cellphone?
"And they have cellphones too. The hell is happening right now?" I thought to myself. "Perhaps this requires a little more insight."
Blitz called for someone named Loona in order to open up a portal for them. Now I know what you're all thinking; 'Barry, why not shoot the little fuckers instead of reasoning with them?' My answer, simple. If I did, I wouldn't know exactly who or what summoned these imps to kill me. If I was coming along with them, I might as well seek some answers whether they're able to tell me or not.
In a matter of moments, a portal opened in the middle of my living room. "Okay gang, let's make a crack dealer and blow. You coming...?" Blitz took a look again at my résumé. "Barry?"
I nodded enthusiastically. "Like I have a choice," I mumbled. "Just let me grab a few things." I grabbed my wallet, my small gun case complete with gun lock and key, cleaning kit, instructions just in case and three cases of bullets, my phone's charge cord and a spare notebook with pen. "Alright, let's go. One of you first, then the other two after me. You understand, right?"
"Sure, sure. But just so that we're being on the level here,-" he extends a hand and points at my Ruger. "-how's about handing that over?"
"Once we've crossed over into Hell, then you can have it. Promise." I promised as I made a three-fingered Scout's honor salute, hand (or in this case gun) over my heart and salute in the other.
Sighing, Blitz rolled his eyes. "Okay sure, just don't pull anything or they will first." He acknowledged Moxxie and Millie having their weapons on me. If it weren't for how close the distance was between the four of us, I'd probably try a quick draw. Never thought about trying it, but better safe than sorry.
"After you," I said, gesturing for him to leave first. And so he did, arms out and falling backwards. I was up next. I began hopping into the portal when Millie was about to warn me about something. But by the time it reached my ears, it was already too late. I was hopping into whatever Hell had in store for me.
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