Chương 81: Strategizing
"Fang Yi, you're back?"
As Fang Yi entered the courtyard with his keys, he spotted Man Jun and Fatty seated beneath the grape trellis, leisurely sipping tea. Upon seeing Fang Yi, Fatty sprang up and seized Fang Yi's arm.
"Hey, what are you doing?" Fang Yi replied, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "With that blooming face and those sparkling eyes, it seems you've caught the spring fever. But why drag me into your romantic escapades?"
"Come on, Fang Yi, aren't you my bro?" Fatty argued, his tone earnest. "If I've got a problem, who else should I turn to? Hurry up and sit down; I need your advice…"
"Man Ge, what's this all about?" Fang Yi asked, bemused, as he settled down and turned his gaze toward Man Jun.
"Didn't you say it? This lad's got a crush…" Man Jun replied, his expression a mix of amusement and exasperation. "Before you returned, this little rascal had me for half an hour, insisting I teach him how to woo girls. I mean, I'm over forty; what do I know about romance?"
Man Jun's tone reflected genuine helplessness. Back in his day, during the early 1980s, love was a luxury, primarily arranged through introductions. Even casual meetings required strict decorum—walking one behind the other, as walking side by side was deemed scandalous. He had no experience in matters of the heart.
"Man Ge, even if you've never had a pig, you've seen one run, right? You can't just stand by and do nothing!"
Fatty looked at Man Jun with a face full of despair. Although he had brought Fang Yi into the conversation, he understood that Fang Yi's secluded upbringing in the mountains for over a decade made him an unreliable source for romantic advice.
"But Fatty, I really don't know…" Man Jun interjected. "Nowadays, relationships escalate to intimacy within three days. How am I supposed to understand what you youngsters are thinking? Asking me for advice would be like playing a tune out of tune!"
"Man Ge, I'm serious; I've genuinely fallen for Meng Shuangshuang…" Fatty gazed skyward, adopting a profoundly serious demeanor. "Fang Yi, I've made up my mind; I will marry no one but Meng Shuangshuang. I'm determined to win her over…"
"Hmm? Fatty, remember, the heavens are watching; don't make rash vows…"
Upon hearing Fatty's declaration, Fang Yi's expression shifted. Such vows should not be made lightly; they carry weight, invoking both celestial witnesses and serving as a profound psychological commitment that could alter one's life trajectory.
Much like the ancient practice of blood oaths, where individuals would apply animal blood to their lips to seal a pact, few dared to breach such solemn promises, driven by reverence for the cosmos and a desire to strengthen their resolve.
"Fang Yi, I am truly resolute!" Fatty insisted, his face set with determination. "I know I'm not worthy of her—she's a university student, intelligent, kind, and capable. But I must pursue her; I am convinced she is the one for me…"
In his twenty years of life, Fatty had never felt as joyful as he did today. Even in silence, simply watching Meng Shuangshuang eat brought him an unparalleled sense of happiness, one he had never experienced with any other girl.
Of course, aside from a female classmate from middle school, Fatty had little interaction with other girls—when he referred to "other girls," he meant the glamorous movie stars or models from magazines.
"Well then, pursue her! I support you…" Fang Yi acknowledged, fully aware that Fatty was hopelessly smitten. He recalled reading somewhere that men in love often experience a significant drop in their intelligence. Judging by the foolish grin on Fatty's face, his IQ had likely plummeted below zero.
"Then teach me how to win her heart…" Fatty, who had been clinging to Man Jun, leaped up at Fang Yi's suggestion, his eyes gleaming with eagerness.
"Hold on, stay where you are…" Fang Yi retorted, pushing Fatty back. "Let me think for a moment; after all, I've never pursued a girl myself…"
"Fatty, first and foremost, you need to ascertain whether the girl has any feelings for you…" After pondering for a while, Fang Yi proposed this essential condition. If the girl had no affection for Fatty, their romance was doomed from the start.
"She must have feelings for me! Otherwise, why would she agree to go out to dinner with me?" Fatty exclaimed, his enthusiasm palpable. "During our meal, Shuangshuang mentioned that aside from classmates, she had never dined with anyone she met outside of school. Fang Yi, doesn't that imply she has feelings for me?"
Despite Fatty's goofy demeanor, he was perceptive. When Meng Shuangshuang had made that remark, he had been overjoyed, although his response was simply to buy her a cup of milk tea and sit there grinning like a fool.
"Indeed, there's a spark. By the way, what did you two do after dinner?" Fang Yi inquired.
"After dinner, we just came back…" Fatty replied, looking puzzled. "What else would we do? I'm not like Man Ge, who rushes into things after a brief encounter…"
"Not at all…" Fang Yi observed Fatty's smile with a hint of skepticism. After all, this was a boy who had peeped at a widow bathing at the age of five; could he truly be trusted?
"Let's set that aside; you need to give me some advice…" If Fang Yi were to mention Fatty's childhood mischief, he would surely deny it vehemently.
"Advice? Let me think…" Suddenly, an idea struck Fang Yi. Recalling what Man Jun had said about the poor security in Jinling, he spoke up. "Here's a thought: given the current state of safety in Jinling, you should escort the girl back to school every day. I believe that over time, your bond will naturally deepen…"
"Yes, that makes sense!" Fatty clapped his hands enthusiastically, but his expression quickly soured. "Fang Yi, I had planned to walk her back today after dinner, but she refused, saying it was just two stops and she'd be there in no time…"
Before Fatty could finish, Man Jun burst into laughter, pointing at him. "You fool! When a woman says she doesn't want something, it often means she does. If she doesn't push you away, that's her way of saying yes…"
Though Man Jun had never been in love, he understood women well enough. He recalled how, whenever he suggested buying his wife a certain gift, she would always say not to spend too much. But if he heeded her advice and didn't buy it, he would inevitably face her wrath upon returning home.
Conversely, if he disregarded her wishes and bought the gift anyway, she would be gentle and accommodating, cooking for him and allowing him to enjoy his leisure without interruption.
"Punching and kicking? Then what's the point of dating?" Fatty's eyes widened in disbelief, struggling to imagine Meng Shuangshuang, with her sweet smile, resorting to violence.
"Come on, Fatty, you're still naïve. Here, light a cigarette for Man Ge; I'll enlighten you…" Man Jun grinned, extending two fingers from his left hand.
"Man Ge, you're like a brother to me; here, have a smoke…" Fatty said with a flattering smile, picking up a cigarette from the table and placing it between Man Jun's fingers, then eagerly lighting it for him.
"Fatty, haven't you heard that sometimes love is expressed through a bit of roughness?" Man Jun chuckled. "That's the highest form of romance. Just think—a girl wouldn't hit a stranger. It's only those she cares for who might provoke such reactions; that's the pinnacle of courtship…"
"That can't be right, Man Ge…" Fatty paused, processing Man Jun's words. "If a man were to have ill intentions toward a girl, wouldn't she retaliate?"
"Pfft…"
Just as Man Jun took a satisfying drag of his cigarette and sipped his tea, he nearly choked, spraying water everywhere. His expression was one of sheer astonishment, as if he wished to dissect Fatty's brain to understand his thought process.
"Fatty, I concede defeat! If you ask me for more advice, I swear I'll move out today…" Man Jun's face was a portrait of exasperation, on the verge of losing his composure.
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