Chương 38: Chapter 36: Self-Sacrifice
Verner had thrown himself in front of me to protect me, and he'd gotten hurt for no good reason at all.
What in the world are you doing?! You're the main character—what am I supposed to do if you die in such a stupid way? That's a bad ending right there!
I didn't have time to play mind games anymore. I quickly shot a laser beam at the crow, blowing it away.
"Urgh... I-Is this...the...end?" it whimpered, voice full of regret.
I watched it disappear, destroyed by my light, before pulling its beak out from Verner's back. I immediately followed up with a healing spell and stopped the bleeding.
He'd been lucky the crow's beak hadn't gone all the way through his body. With that speed, it should have happened, actually. How sturdy are you?
I checked to see if he was still breathing. As long as he was alive, I'd be able to heal him. Verner had dark magic inside him—most things wouldn't kill him on the spot.
As expected, he's not breathing. I can't feel a pulse either. Nothing to worry about!
Um...
Wait, what? Is he...dead?
Impossible. No way! That's just impossible!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!! NO!
Stop. Don't panic, me. It's okay, he's just...a little dead, that's all! Everything's fine! His corpse is still warm. Nothing to panic about...right? Right? Right?!
"Ver... No way... This can't be true..." Eterna broke down, tears falling down her cheeks.
I also wanted to believe it wasn't true, but it looked like even his dark powers hadn't been enough to protect him from that hit. Monsters could kill saints, so it made sense that they'd also be able to kill Verner. I'd already fixed his wounds, but that hadn't helped. That meant the crow's attack had killed him on the spot. His heart had simply...exploded.
The more I thought about it, the less I knew what to do. The main character had died. Was the story over, then?
So, hmm... Well... I know! It's gonna be fine. I can still make it. I healed his wounds, and his brain's still all right. What's a little fatal wound? He's only been dead for a few moments!
After four to six minutes without oxygen, a person's brain would be beyond saving. Conversely, it meant that you could save them as long as you pumped oxygen into their brains before that happened.
Cardiac arrest didn't mean that someone had expired yet. Someone was only dead for real when their brain stopped working. That was why CPR saved lives.
Obviously, you couldn't save someone whose heart had literally exploded with CPR... Under normal circumstances, that is. I was a living cheat code, and I'd already healed Verner's heart.
There's only one thing to do now... I need to create an electric current and force his heart to beat again!
At the same time, I pressed one hand to Verner's mouth and used wind magic to circulate air into his body. I was breathing in and out for him.
Come on, Verner! Come back!
He coughed.
He's back! I made it! Ladies and gentlemen, our favorite athlete, Ellize, makes it at the last second! The bases are fully loaded, and Ellize knocks it out of the park!
I'd somehow saved Verner from the brink of death, but the battle wasn't over and Verner had yet to open his eyes. There shouldn't have been anything wrong with him anymore, but he'd died once—he wouldn't recover instantly. It had been my first time bringing someone back, and I didn't know what side effects to expect.
I couldn't waste any more time here.
Which means... It's time for some rapid-fire lasers! Sorry monsters, but I need you all dead!
"Layla, we're bringing Verner to the closest church! Now!"
"Y-Yes!"
After I'd gotten rid of most of the monsters in one go, I decided to let the rest of the knights deal with the aftermath of the battle. I got Layla to carry Verner and left immediately.
With healing magic around, medicine hadn't really progressed. There weren't any hospitals or clinics in this world. Instead, you'd go to a church to seek treatment. It wasn't free, though. You may be thinking churches ought to be altruistic and treat people for free, but hey. They also needed enough money to keep running, hence the fees.
Anyway, the Church worshipped the saint, so I was technically its head. That meant I got to use the facilities however I wanted!
Needless to say, I was more of a figurehead; I didn't have any real authority. Some old man they called the Patriarch held all the power. The reasoning behind the decision was actually pretty solid. Since saints were bound to turn into witches, giving them too much authority was unthinkable. All in all, the Church thought of me as a nice symbol—an idol for the masses to worship. Well, not that I was the real deal either way.
Leaving all that aside, my main point was that I got to use the churches however I saw fit. I made use of my—limited—authority to order a bed prepared for Verner and to borrow the kitchen. If I let the people here cook, they'd come up with something disgusting.
The Church was made up of two groups of people that were polar opposites.
The grunts didn't know anything about the many lies that surrounded the saints. They truly believed the saint to be the head of the Church, so they were endlessly devoted to me. They thought that living frugally was a virtue and only ate unseasoned bland crap. While they accepted eating cheese and other such animal products, they didn't consume meat or fish.
If I had them cook, they were sure to bring us some horrendous dishes. I had a feeling they hadn't quite grasped the difference between frugal and sloppy. As the saint, I'd visited churches enough times to know that. I usually ended up with stale bread and barely cooked vegetables. I still wasn't sure how they dared calling the crap they served a meal.
The top brass of the Church were an entirely different story altogether. These people enjoyed a life of luxury. They had meat or fish for every meal, and I was pretty sure they'd only made up the rules about clergy needing to be frugal so that more would be left for them. I'd been served such an extravagant meal when I'd visited them that I'd almost asked them point-blank why their subordinates were living in poverty. The worst part was that the food hadn't even been good!
Long story short, I wouldn't find any high-quality ingredients in this kitchen. All they had was cheap rice, vegetables, a couple of fruits, alcohol, and water. Oh, I also spotted a few loaves of stale bread and cheese.
Even though my conscience was smaller than a cherry tomato, I'd still feel bad feeding Verner such crap. I was afraid our poor main character would rise to the heavens instead of rising from bed.
Time for some sloppy cooking!
Image here:
Step one: put aside the vegetable scraps instead of throwing them away.
Layla, the other knights who'd followed me, and the people from the church looked puzzled. Their eyes seemed to scream, "Is she going to feed a sick person trash?!" I ignored them.
Step two: fill a pot with water and dump all the vegetable scraps in it—after washing them profusely, of course. Dump some alcohol in it too before turning on the fire. This step'll help remove the bad smell. And then...let there be fire!
Step three: let the veggies simmer for twenty minutes on low heat. What about the scum, you ask? Leave it as is! Who has the energy to skim?
Just kidding! There were actually two types of broth scum. I hadn't used any harmful vegetables, so there was no need to remove it. If anything, it'd do Verner some good.
Leave the scum be!
Last step: drain the broth.
And that's how you make a perfectly good, cheap, and quick vegetarian broth! I can guarantee the taste, and it's full of nutrients! Here, Layla, have a taste for me.
"Are you sure, Lady Ellize? You simply simmered scraps that were meant to be thrown away. That's...rubbish...isn't it?"
Hey! That's rude.
Layla was a noblewoman. Asking her to taste this was probably a bit much for her. Still, when I brought a spoonful to her lips, she opened them up for me, flushing red.
"Um... It's...good?! How?! This is basically rubbish!"
Yeah, yeah, sorry for making do with what I had!
Nobles—and wealthy people in general—were the only ones who were small-minded enough to call vegetable scraps trash. In small villages, people ate everything.
The privileged few sure live differently!
I suggested to the Church that they distribute vegetable broth to the poor. Since they usually threw the scraps away, it wouldn't cost much, and distributing food would help improve their image. The people would be full of gratitude, which would lead to more donations down the road.
A win-win deal, right?
Doing good deeds without expecting anything in return was actually pretty much impossible. Giving freely without ever receiving anything in return was a beautiful thing and all, but it couldn't last long. If one party simply gave again and again, they'd eventually run out of funds and collapse. That was why the people I trusted the least were those who pretended they were solely motivated by good intentions.
Humans aren't that selfless! Give and take is the way of life. If you're going to help others, you need to make sure there's a return, somehow.
The big shots of the Church were quick to smell profit, so they approved my plan. They liked the idea so much that they were raring to start distributing broth the next day.
Before long, the Saint's Church's prestige would surely rise, and they'd garner even more support from the masses.
Anyway, back to my broth. I could've given it to Verner as it was, but I still had a small touch to add.
I grated some garlic with my magic and dumped it into another pot. Garlic was great for increasing your stamina. I poured the vegetable broth over it and lit the fire again. I brought the mixture to a boil and added some rice. I left it there until the rice was done absorbing all the broth. I then seasoned it with some salt and cheese, which had been ground into a powder with magic. Voilà! My vegetarian broth risotto...thingy...was complete!
It was nutritious and would be easy to eat, even for a sick person. I used to make this dish often whenever I had leftover rice and vegetable scraps.
My cooking's too sloppy? Shut up! Men's cuisine is all about cutting corners!
To be honest, I wish I could've added some pepper as well, but it was way too precious in this world. Verner will have to suck it up.
Right as I was finishing up in the kitchen, a knight came to inform me that Verner had woken up.
Phew. I wouldn't have known what to do if he'd kept sleeping.
I gave Verner a good scolding. I made sure he knew what he'd done was stupid and told him never to jump in harm's way for me again. He retorted that it meant I'd be all alone and I shot back that I was perfectly qualified to take care of everything on my own. For some reason, the people of this world had a tendency to misunderstand everything I said, so I tried to make myself as clear as possible.
I'm strong enough to fight alone! You weaklings can stand aside and cheer me on!
After I gave it to him straight, Verner quieted down. I'd probably lost a few affection points, but that was fine. I'd rather have him hate me than let him die.
I softened the blow by telling him to take good care of himself and left it at that.
I'm such a nice guy!
◇
His body had moved before he'd known it.
He'd seen the archmonster fly at Ellize, and while she should've been able to react in time, she hadn't dodged. Verner had immediately understood why: there were unconscious soldiers behind her. She'd healed their wounds, but they hadn't recovered enough to flee. Ellize must have refused to dodge because she was afraid they'd die if she did. Verner had seen her extend her arms, readying herself to shield the soldiers.
She's going to do it again... She's going to disregard her own safety to protect others...again, Verner had thought.
Ellize wouldn't give up on anyone. She always put others first and did everything she could to help them without ever asking for anything in return. In Verner's eyes, she was endlessly beautiful, but fragile—so very fragile—like she could disappear at any moment.
Selflessness wouldn't get her anywhere in life. People were greedy and manipulative. Their hearts were everything but pure. When a truly good-natured person appeared, they'd chew them up and spit them out.
Verner had yet to finish that thought when he jumped in front of Ellize.
He'd seen her fight firsthand. He knew that in terms of strength, she existed in a different realm altogether—a realm he could never reach no matter how hard he tried. The archmonster's attack likely wouldn't have even landed a scratch on her. She would most likely have smiled and dealt with everything as she always had—without anyone's help.
But what if she couldn't handle it? That fleeting thought had been enough to spur Verner into action.
Knights-to-be learned a lot of different things at the academy, but one specific lesson had always been drilled into them: "If the saint is in danger, become her shield. Don't think—move before it's too late." They'd train until protecting the saint became a reflex. In fact, those who couldn't become proper shields couldn't become knights.
Knights had one purpose: shielding the saint. They existed for the sole sake of keeping the saint alive. The saint's death was the worst thing that could possibly happen. After all, humanity would need to wait for another one to be born and for her to grow before the witch could be dealt with.
And so, making sure the saint survived was everyone's top priority. Knights were there to ensure that a crucial mission was carried out. Even if Ellize, as the greatest saint in history, was infinitely stronger than anyone, their raison d'être had not changed. If anything, they were expected to be even more careful because she was the greatest in history.
Everyone realized that Ellize didn't actually need shields, that she'd most likely always come out on top without anyone's help. But what if she lost focus for a moment? What if an attack that shouldn't have killed her did somehow? Who would take responsibility for that? Who could fill the gigantic gap she'd leave behind?
Ellize wasn't just the saint anymore—she was humanity's hope. Without her, the world would surely fall back into the darkness.
As a result, the knights were still very much expected to act as her shield—even if it was inefficient and mostly useless.
She'd "probably" be fine. Ellize "most likely" didn't need any protection. She'd "surely" be able to deal with monsters on her own. They couldn't accept that kind of uncertainty when it came to Ellize's precious life. Something could always go wrong. Even if that chance was one in a million, that was still too much of a risk. Ellize could die.
If a knight sacrificing their life meant that they could eliminate that risk, they ought to do it without hesitation. That's what Verner had learned. He'd been trained so that his body would react before he even had to think about it.
Giving up your life for someone who didn't need it was undoubtedly a meaningless death, but that didn't matter. The knights were expected to throw their lives away to bring that abysmally small chance of Ellize dying down to zero. And that was exactly what Verner had done.
Among the students, he was the one who cared the most about Ellize's safety, and he'd always trained with a zealous ardor. That was what had allowed him to react so quickly. Before he could've decided whether he should or not, he was already in front of Ellize. His body had made the choice for him.
Had he been able to think things through, though, he would've realized that jumping in to protect Ellize was foolish. Given a bit more time, he most likely would've reached the right conclusion: that standing in between her and the archmonster would more likely hinder her, rather than help her. He also would've noticed that Ellize had just finished putting up a barrier of her own.
But Verner hadn't had the time to consider all this. He'd only had a few seconds to act, and he'd ended up making the wrong choice. He'd jumped in before he could stop himself, and in the next second, his vision had gone black.
Ah... I'm going to die, he'd thought before his consciousness had faded.
"I'm alive..."
As he opened his eyes, Verner felt extremely puzzled. He was happy to be alive, sure, but a question kept spinning in his mind: Why didn't I die?He understood his body more than anyone else. At that moment, he should've died. He still remembered the sensation of having his flesh pierced, his bones shattered, and his heart destroyed beyond repair. He also remembered contracting his muscles so that the hateful crow's beak wouldn't reach Ellize. He was certain it hadn't. And then he'd felt death looming over him. He remembered the strange feeling very distinctly. He had died, that much was obvious to him.
And yet, here he was, breathing again. He only knew one person who could accomplish such a miracle...
The very person he'd been thinking about entered the room. "You're awake, Verner. I'm so glad..."
Verner was so relieved to see her well that he didn't immediately notice the tray in her hands. The delicious smell had his stomach growling in no time.
Ellize let out a small laugh and set the tray down on his bedside table. "It's nothing fancy, but I figured something light would be easier on your stomach. Do you think you can eat?" she asked.
"I... Yes. Hmm, Lady Ellize... Did you make this yourself?"
"I did."
Verner was ecstatic—Ellize had cooked for him! He'd eat it all! He wouldn't leave a crumb! He finally looked at the plate and noticed that the pleasant smell of vegetables was actually coming from a pile of strangely colored rice. It was almost orange.
As he picked up the plate, the strong smell of garlic stirred up his appetite further. He scooped up a mouthful with his wooden spoon and eagerly shoved it into his mouth. The sweetness of the rice and the aroma of the different vegetables Ellize had used filled his mouth. The dish had been seasoned perfectly—the faint saltiness and the fragrant garlic brought every ingredient together, and the mellow flavor of the cheese was a welcome addition. Verner would've loved it even if Ellize hadn't been the one who made it—although it was admittedly a plus.
"This is good... Amazing, even!"
Ellize smiled at Verner's praise. "I'm glad to hear you like it."
For a while, they both remained silent and the sounds of Verner enthusiastically wolfing down his food filled the room.
Ellize waited for him to finish eating before she asked, "Verner, why did you do such a thing?" Her voice was soft, but Verner could tell that she was far from pleased.
By "such a thing," she probably meant protecting her. Verner had no idea how to answer her. He didn't know why he'd done it, his body had simply reacted. I have to protect her, he'd thought, and before he knew it, he'd already jumped.
"I don't know... My body suddenly moved. I just felt like I had to protect you."
"I'm thankful for your feelings, but I don't want you to ever do something like that again. I don't want you... No, I don't want anyone to put themselves in harm's way for me. I don't need it either."
Ellize was too kind. She probably couldn't bear the thought of someone getting hurt for her sake. But Verner was the same. He was more scared of seeing her get injured than getting injured himself. They both felt the same, yet they couldn't get through to one another.
"But that means... You'll be on your own, and—"
"That's fine," she cut him off.
You'll be the only one who keeps on getting hurt again and again, Verner had tried to say.
"I've always been fine on my own," she continued. "As long as I'm here, no one else will have to get injured for no reason... Not the knights, not Layla...and certainly not you. So, please... Don't ever put yourself in danger trying to save me."
Ellize intended to take on all the pain by herself. Verner couldn't help but marvel at her noble spirit. At the same time, he hated that she refused to think of herself. In her mouth, the words didn't sound like empty bragging. Certainly, she could do it. She'd surely continue to protect everyone, absorbing their suffering as she moved forward...until the day she died.
The thought saddened Verner. Ellize was stronger than anyone else. She stood in a higher place than anyone else. Verner, on the other hand, was so weak that he couldn't hope to stand by her side. Layla and the headmaster had trained him a lot in the past few weeks, and he'd progressed by leaps and bounds...but the last battle had shown him that it was far from enough. He'd gotten stronger, sure, but he was still lagging far behind Ellize.
Ellize was standing at the top of a mountain, higher than the clouds, while he'd barely managed to clear the base.
"I know I'm still far too weak, but... I still want to protect you—"
"You're not strong enough to protect me, Verner. I'll be honest with you... You're in my way when you try to."
Ellize's words were a slap in the face. She'd bluntly told Verner that he was weak, putting an end to his musings. She was right, though, and Verner was at a loss for words.
Ellize turned her back to him and walked to the door, reaching for the doorknob. She must've felt guilty, because she suddenly stopped.
"I brought you back to life, but your body needs rest. Please take good care of yourself," she said gently before leaving.
Verner was frustrated. Not because Ellize had pointed out his weakness, no—he was frustrated because he'd forced her to say that. She simply hadn't wanted him to get hurt. He was such a loser. In her eyes, he wasn't a reliable man. He was just another person she needed to protect. Could he get any more pathetic?
Verner's mind was filled with a single thought.
I want to become stronger... Much stronger than I am now...
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