Chương 123: Chapter 123 - A troubled mind. (Lei chapter)
It's been an hour since Wu Lei started reading this fire path cultivation book, but he only made three pages of progress. He walked around the room, played with the quill, manifested a bunch of minor techniques and even put out the candles in the hopes reading using his night vision would be more engaging, but nothing seemed to help.
He was now lying on the couch instead of sitting at his desk, his legs thrown up towards the wall. This book is so frustrating!
What if Rui Ming was right about Wuxing? What if it's useless? What if it's just a smidgeon of useful information obscured by a dumb philosophy, written in an unapproachable manner by pretentious old farts? It's not like they are sharing their best cultivation secrets freely, right? The Windsplitter seems to be doing just fine without jumping through all these hoops.
But he's a genius, and I'm… Above average.
Bang! A loud sound in the opposite end of the corridor made Lei jump up. Lei exhaled, it's just a door closing, it seems.
"Master, is that you?" Lei called out as he sat up straight, trying to look like a diligent student.
Feng Chonglin quietly entered the room instead of answering, then looked at Lei with an assessing gaze.
"Who else would it be? You're looking awfully tense these past few days."
"Well… A fantasy of assassins sent after me isn't just paranoia, this sounds quite realistic after what I've done." Lei was anxious about the mercenaries investigating his run and going after him. Feng Chonglin didn't seem bothered, at all.
"Told you, this apartment is quite safe, and in a nice district. The security system is also top-notch, don't worry about this, focus on your studies. Did you write a summary of the first five chapters?"
"Master, I'll be honest with you. I just can't. I stare at words, but they don't flow into my mind. This book isn't exactly 'When two orchids touch', if you catch my drift."
"Didn't know you're into that kind of literature. Listen, I need you to finish reading so that you can finish cooking for the evening. Hurry up."
"Master, I can't believe you know this book, haha! Someone like you, reading girl love books? Quite unexpected."
"What? No, you squirt, it's not that I read it, it's just that this book's name is far from subtle! You're switching topics again, get back to reading." Feng Chonglin was losing his patience with Lei, he didn't know how good he had it with Xin.
"Master, don't get me wrong, I'm trying, but I… Can't. My mind drifts. I am doing my best, but this doesn't work. In all honesty, I am not sure you're teaching me right."
Lei expected his master to get offended, to get insulted or to at least make a sarcastic comment, instead he scowled and stared at him with a cold expression.
"Go on. Speak. I'll hear you out."
Screw this. I'll speak my mind and stand up to him.
"I am not sure your training methods are for me. Yes, you rented this expensive apartment with a decent training ground, we've got a library and a lab, but there's no one else here! I am much better at working with other people.
When we train martial arts, you criticise but refuse to provide solutions. I need to train alchemy, yet you force me to cook instead. It's quite humiliating, am I a woman? Then you make me read all these books. I persevered through the first one, yet now that I know how tedious this whole thing is, I can't concentrate on the next one. I'm under the impression that you're wasting my time. Sorry."
If Lei said this to any other teacher in the sect, there would be serious consequences. He didn't bother to sugarcoat anything he said and spoke openly, yet he also knew it's a language Feng Chonglin preferred to speak as well. Still, he was probably the fiercest rank two in the sect, and a secret blood path master at that!
"Hm. Should I refute each of your points one by one, or should I ask you leading questions so that you understand how ignorant you are?"
"I'd prefer the first option, but it seems like you're already doing the second." Lei couldn't help but smirk. He knew that he was in trouble, it was all about which execution style his master picks now.
"Khe-khe." Feng Chonglin coughed in his hoarse voice. Seems that he was preparing a long speech. "Fine, I'll address your points one by one, my dear student.
This apartment is a perfect place for us to train. You are my chosen student, along with Xin I managed to recruit two out of three strongest rank one prospects in the sect. The other Condensation stage masters will be looking to shut me down, and you as a consequence. A seductive young peer sent to distract you, a sparring partner sent to steal your secrets — we don't know what they'll do, but I'd rather deny them options. And I'd rather keep you here, in the city, instead of having you move in and out, and you know exactly why."
Because other gangs might start making their moves soon. Fuck. How am I supposed to concentrate on reading, then?
Feng Chonglin continued:
"You're an experienced fighter, yet you've learnt too many wrong lessons. What works against street thugs won't work against sect prodigies. I've got to purge this shit out of your system, or it will poison the whole well. You fight like an erratic clown, I have to bring you down to earth and teach you to come up with solutions on your own. Solutions, not gimmicks. Not half-assed improvisations. Systems. Structures. Otherwise you're of no use to me. Got it?"
Lei's whole spirit rebelled, but he nodded.
"Refusing to teach you alchemy is also reasonable. If I teach you a bunch of alchemy recipes, you'll learn to reproduce them. Then you'll stagnate, unable to act with agency. The audacity to ask me to teach you fire intensity potions when you can't cook a chicken! If ten burnt chicken breasts made a phoenix, I'd ask to become your student, and if my grandma had a prick — you know how the saying goes. But let's not talk scenarios.
Patterns. Think in patterns, that's the daoist way. The pork you fried yesterday, it looked steamed! Why? Too much meat on the pan, not enough oil, the fire's too weak. You were so afraid of burning the whole thing, you forgot to cook! Think. Heat transfer, different lengths of cooking, caramelization, the interactions between acidity, salt and sugars, the burning of fats and the gradual opening up of spices…
These are all patterns, and transferable to alchemy! Cooking is a form of alchemy, after all. Until I see the foundations of this thinking, you aren't entering the lab. End of story."
Lei sighed. He figured out Feng Chonglin's plan long ago, his leading questions certainly implied the connection between the two spheres, but learning cooking from scratch still felt like a waste of time. "And finally, about assigned reading. I bet you're expecting something like 'toughen up' or 'stop being lazy'? Indeed, you need to toughen up and you're far from diligent, but the problem runs deeper.
One layer of it is your lack of foundation. If you and an otherwise identical, but more educated person had to read the same book, you'd have to spend twice the effort. If the difficulty was doubled, it is possible they'd also quit, but they end up succeeding and called diligent where you failed.
In most cases, if something's too difficult, you end up overwhelmed, if something is too easy, you end up bored. How comes you are both bored and overwhelmed, then?"
Lei stared at his feet, his elbows on his knees. This couch is too hard, my back would hurt if I fell asleep on it."Huh?" He realised he was asked a question. "Sorry, I was trying to digest your previous point." A half-truth.
"That's exactly what I am talking about. The problem you are experiencing can't be explained by you, yet it can be explained by Wuxing. Care to make a guess how exactly?"
Lei thought for a moment, then spoke:
"My mind is also fire and metal path element adjacent, not just my bloodline. My fire element nature overcomes my metal element, so I lack focus and concentration. Is this what you want me to say?" Lei remembered the discussion he had with Xin, and reproduced that argument.
"I like this thought. It's wrong, though, but you're on the right track. The problem you're experiencing can indeed be explained by Wuxing, yet your explanation has a crucial fallacy. What is it?"
"Hmmm… My metal nature is stronger than that of an average person, it should be harder to 'beat'. Otherwise, all people with fire nature would be even worse than me, which is not the case."
"Correct." Feng Chonglin's eyes lightened up slightly, it was clear that he was happy with his student, but tried not to show it. "So, what's actually going on?"
"Maybe the problem is that metal nature is inherently vital for me, so by relying on it, I open it up more, and it gets damaged more? While another fire path person barely invokes it, and its repression isn't as harmful. Still, I am not sure Wuxing is even useful for explaining stuff like that…"
"You know what? I agree." This answer surprised Lei. "But it's the best we have. Indeed, your metal element's health is crucial for your mind's functioning, and thus you suffer more than an average person of fire element. But there's another dimension.
You were distressed even the day we met. Since then, you suffered war, heartbreak and bloodshed, yet you act like it didn't affect you. Think none of these affect your concentration? Think you can walk dry after a rain? What's your umbrella, that stupid fucking grin? Be honest."
"I… There's no choice for me but to keep going. I wasn't born yesterday, I survived and persevered since I was a kid. If it made me a little twitchy, and if I lack concentration — fine, I'll accept this, and work to my strengths. But what's the point of forcing myself to do something I don't like and can't do as well as others? Won't I end up just an inferior version of them?" Lei realised that his fast was beating much harder than it should. What part of this discussion made me so irritated?
"Think of it that way. You can do whatever, live and die on your terms. But if you want to achieve what you're trying to, your ways aren't sustainable. You'll have to persevere, but not in a self-indulging, loud and destructive manner, but quietly. You'll have to be bored. End of story.
Thing is, you've got a mountain to climb, but let's do it one rock at a time. You read a few pages out loud, then we'll discuss them. You write down the main points and go rest, then we'll try again. Just like you train your muscles, you train your ability to endure the stuff you don't like. And the more knowledge you have, the easier it will be for you. How does it sound?" Feng Chonglin sounded surprisingly gentle, Lei was bewildered.
"One more thing, if I may?"
Feng Chonglin nodded.
"What's the urgency with raising my cultivation foundation, and not my fighting skills? Please explain your logic."
"Your fighting skills are already good, so the returns on the time spent training are quite miniscule. That's why I am focusing on eliminating mistakes, as these cause the most damage. In this tournament, everyone will have their own trump cards. Patterns, it's all patterns. The better your foundation, the faster you'll be able to figure the opponent's moves out. It's much easier to deflect an attack if you know how it looks, and even easier if you know what to expect. Your pure reflexes can only get you so far, don't you think?"
"I agree. And I just realised I am asking all of these things and trying to 'clarify' stuff just to waste time, so that I can have a convenient excuse to not study. Let's start reading, before I get distracted again."
"About that… Let's take a break. I brought some focus crystal dust, it will take some time to settle after you inhale it. Let's go for a walk."
Lei raised his eyebrow. This can't be real. Drugs?
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