Chương 68: Chapter 68 - My brush is on fire!
By the time Xin woke up and pulled himself together, it was almost afternoon again.
"Oh! There he is!" Lei opened the door to Xin's room, where the other two internal disciples were also minding their own business.
"Master Lei!" They both bowed.
"Ha, pathetic. You fucks rolled your eyes when I came in a few weeks ago." Lei smirked. "Hey, fuckboy, you ready?" He pointed towards Xin.
"Coming." Xin stood up. His fresh robes were clean, sprayed with perfumes and straightened at the collar.
The pair headed to the Administrative pavilion.
"Hey, Xin. Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it."
"Wait, you fucked Yao Nang? Couldn't care less." He joked. Clearly, Lei meant his cultivation advice.
"I actually did! Hooked up tonight, can you imagine?"
"Eh... Eww... Wait, are you for real? I don't want the details."
"So, here are the details. I talked to her after I woke up, we hung out in the garden. I apologised for my behaviour, told her some sad stories about my life, listened to her sad stories, too. We kissed, then I told her to meet me in private. Guest inn, second floor, gave her a good pounding! Can you imagine?"
"I can, but I don't want to." Xin rolled his eyes, but smiled. What a scoundrel.
"She does all these wild things in bed, and she melts and becomes so feminine and eager to submit when you know what you're doing! And she's so freakishly strong and durable! It's unreal!"
"I couldn't care less. Think Tu Qiang taught her all those things?" Xin smirked.
"Nah, she's a natural! He held her back! Small dick energy, haha. She said she never felt what she felt with me, and regrets the years spent with him."
"I wonder if you could taste his cock when you kissed her. She's now in her slut phase, you are just the first member in a long line. Don't get your hopes up." Xin rolled his eyes.
"Oh! Why are you so negative? It's not my fault you're still a virgin. I'm just sharing my exploits with my bro!"
"Eh, you insisted on telling me this shit despite me saying I don't care, you have to at least endure my mocking responses now. That's the deal. Also, what makes you think I couldn't pull her if I wanted to?"
"You? Haha. Sorry, but she's into fit men." Lei exposed his robe and showed off his abs.
"Whatever, I am not looking to become number two. Or three, hehe. I'll pass this up."
"How charitable of you, leaving enough pussy for everyone!" Lei laughed and patted Xin's shoulder as they entered the Administrative pavilion.
"Oh, you two, I've been waiting for you." An old rank one woman said, collecting a stack of papers. "Please take these blanks and proceed to a separate cabinet."
"Me, too?" Lei asked. "Xin is an outrider, can't I just sign his report?"
"Of course not! We need to collect the information about your travels so that we can plan better in the future. Here's the ink, here are some brushes. Pick any."
"Oh, that blows. Can't we just go back to killing people?" Lei looked at her with puppy eyes.
"Master Lei, please behave decently in this hall... The report is mandatory, such are the rules. You, disciple, hurry up, too." Xin could already feel the drop in his social status. From squad leader to small fry again. He hated it.
He entered an empty cabinet, with a cheap wooden table and a small closet filled with papers. That's where the administrators work during their shifts. He opened a blank and prepared to write.
Hmmm, interesting. So, this report can't be contributed as a group. Which means that this report is also a cross-examination. Xin tried to remember one of the introductory lessons that explained how this worked. Luckily, he didn't miss that one.
"Describe the events that transpired, provide all the necessary details. Grade the sufficiency of resources and intel provided, teamwork, professionalism and cultivation methods of people involved." He remembered some of the things Huang Lingbo said. There were more details and rules, but Xin didn't remember them. His mind stored more important information, and this stuff was just white noise to him.
This report is trying to pit us against each other. Find contradictions in our stories. Grade our character and political skills, too. It's not a simple paper, it might be as important as the mission itself!
Xin thought about what to write. The obvious choice would be to write a neutral, streamlined kind of document, avoid unnecessary attention and move on with your life. He knew it with his mind, yet his heart demanded something different!
Oh, I'll write you a report. I'll write you a report, alright. A report of all reports, you cunts. Xin felt like his brush was about to set itself ablaze as he dipped it into ink. Mentally, he still perceived the world as a battlefield.
"Squad grading:
Master Xie Taowei — exceptional bravery and resolve, respectful cultivation level, great combat management skills. Good mental flexibility and adaptation, average squad management skills (We didn't have enough unity, tactics, or common experience, and I didn't feel like master Taowei managed this particular aspect very well). Still, he died a hero, and will be my role model for years to come." Xin sweetened the deal, but it was still a seriously loaded statement to make, at least in their sect's culture.
"Master Tu Qiang — below average combat skills for rank one, below average leadership skills. Unresolved personal problems creating constant tension. Lack of a masculine frame of mind creates competition where there should be cooperation. Influenced easily by women. No useful out of combat skills. Naturally submissive and should be kept out of leadership positions."
"Outrider Lu (surname unknown) — great outrider, below average combat strength for rank one, ambushed due to subpar combat coordination of our squad and lack of defensive and investigative methods. If the sect provided him with a defensive dao shard, he might have lived. A true professional, it's a big loss for the sect."
"Master Rui Ming. Exceptional in all ways. Has a reputation of being aloof and non-conformist, but has proven his critics wrong numerous times. Smart, precise, grounded — an exceptional individual. Extremely talented, as he broke through during the combat and was instantly able to tame his new qi flow. Above average combat strength, exceptional combat awareness and fencing skills. Great teammate. Not ready to make a judgement on his leadership skills yet. Contributed supremely, was the most useful member of our squad in this journey." Xin wanted to write "after me", but this would be too much even for him. Oh, almost forgot! "Would greatly benefit from being provided with dao shards in advance."
"Master Wu Lei. Great teammate, amazing combat adaptability and thinking on the fly. Strong intuitive grasp of cultivation. Works well under social and combat pressure, is a decent rank one fighter despite missing an arm. Respect." Xin didn't know if the last word was appropriate, but it looked cool, so he decided to keep it.
"Disciple Murong Zhan. Reasonable, useful (for a mortal) fighter, good problem-solving skills, was excellent during brainstorming sessions. A reliable teammate." It was a pleasant characteristic, but this description was quite niggard compared to what Lei and Rui Ming got.
"Disciple Wu Xiaoyun. Displays no combat talent, average cultivation and out of combat knowledge skills. Still, with time, she blossomed into a valuable member of the squad, saving my life. Displays amazing mental resilience and a great friendly attitude. In my opinion, she has a bright future, but using her for combat missions is just cruel. Not everyone is built for this." Wait, what am I even writing? Xin was weirded out by himself again. Am I trying to get the sect to keep her away from trouble? Whatever, I meant what I wrote.
"Disciple Yao Nang. Physically exceptional. Resilient. Zero out of combat knowledge. Disruptive communication style. Brings intimate problems into the squad dynamics. Tries to pit the squad members against each other when threatened. (Mostly threatened by competent people). Lacks martial arts foundation to support her great physical characteristics, lacks cultivation knowledge to progress as a xiandao master. Given all that, I'd prefer a gorilla as my squad mate (From what I know, they are somewhat relaxed and tame creatures).
"Disciple Su Xing. When captured (due to incompetence), chose to betray the sect and our squad. Attempted to kill us during the fight with the mantis yaoguai, forcing me to kill him in melee combat. Somehow, he was less annoying than Yao Nang."
Xin looked at what he wrote proudly. He felt the urge to write something nasty, and he indulged it. Now, for the retelling of events.
"... When it comes to our squad composition, our biggest problem was a lack of proper equipment standard and simple, cheap dao shards. We could do much better if we were better supplied." This was something that made Xin mad. Doesn't the sect understand the risks of acting like they were? Giving each qi active mortal just one dao shard would be a game changer, especially since there were so many spare ones on the sect's shelves. Was it a merchant faction policy? Make the masters spend more by starving them off supplies? Well, this gets people killed, and the sect loses resources, people and reputation. Xin felt like tearing his hair off over this absurdity.
"... Another problem I'd like to mention is our lack of realistic combat training in group scenarios, as well as our lack of shared combat experience. It was my first time ever seeing disciples Su Xing and Wu Xiaoyun, as well as outrider Lu and master Taowei. By the time we built up cohesion, three people had already died. That's a systematic failure that needs to be addressed. I propose enforcing group spars and tactical planning, as well as giving every single fighter a set of armour, a crossbow and a polearm or a sword. People often choose to fight suboptimally out of a sense of protagonism, and pay with their lives. This needs to be drilled out of them."
Xin then relayed the events of their encounter with the Divine Fist sect, a story of what happened during the fight with the plant monsters, the further journey through the steppe, avoiding the nomad patrol, the Yellow Pine forest, the mantis yaoguai siege and their return home after avoiding the potential merchant caravan betrayal. He spared no details, and honestly praised or criticised his squad mates, based on their actions.
Of course, Xin didn't forget to praise himself. It wasn't very subtle, too, he would just state what he saw as facts:
"Replaced master Lu to the best of my ability as an outrider."
"Used my skill in alchemy to..."
"Displayed scouting and perception abilities during..."
"Assisted Wu Lei's breakthrough by constructing a plan..."
"Injured a rank two plant monster demonic cultivator..."
"Killed the rank two mantis yaoguai..."
"Was the tactical centre of our squad in a fight..."
"Ensured the survival of the squad on at least three different occasions..." Xin knew he was being direct, even blatant with his report, so why not also directly state what his contributions were? If the others confirmed them, he'd be rewarded greatly. And it's not like he could make his report any subtle now, better to go all-in.
He spent an hour writing, and had to take some extra papers out of that document closet near his table. He came out and handed a stack of papers to the old female administrator. He noticed that she had six other stacks of papers already, but his report was twice as big as the second thickest.
"That's quite a report, son. Thank you." She smiled at him. Xin nodded and left the Administrative pavilion.
"By the Emperor..." He heard a quiet voice say behind his back as he was leaving.
"Gotcha!" Lei suddenly ambushed him from behind the corner, tapping his shoulder. There was a faint trail of warm air behind him.
"Don't use the shards outside of training areas, idiot. You could have set those curtains on fire." Xin pointed at the expensive silk curtains on the window nearby. He then spread them and looked at the scenery of the valley below.
"Oi! You made me wait for so long, I was so bored! You're right, but I just can't stop enjoying my new power! It's so nice being strong, and I'm not even finished with my combat system!" Lei didn't look exhausted or beaten like Xin did. Was he just working on overdrive or did he genuinely recover by now?
"Yeah, I get it. I need to work on my breakthrough now. Will take several days to prepare properly, my method is a bit slower than yours."
"Something tells me that you'll manage, hehe. Don't worry, it will be fine. Let's go hang out in the canteen, no one has approached us about our work assignments yet, let's enjoy it while it lasts."
"Fine, the meal's on you."
"You've got more money than me! Fine, I'll be your sugar mom. But you buy your drinks yourself."
"Speaking of sugar moms, I wanted to visit lady Meiling. Check up on her, you know?"
"Eh, will she even want to see you?"
"I don't know, I still owe her for her cultivation advice. Would be a nice gesture, I think."
"Right. You do you. You know what I am doing this evening, though!"
"Please spare me the details."
"Hehehe. I'll tell you all the juicy specifics!"
"Ugh."
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