Chương 31: Prologue: A Past Best Forgotten
"Wasting your youth playing all day is the height of folly. Social skills can be
improved in adulthood. However, the remarkable physical and mental development
you go through during early childhood only happens once in a lifetime, which is
why it is crucial to cultivate your skills now. Most mediocre individuals only
realize this after reaching adulthood, when it is far too late to do anything about it.
Do you understand, Masachika?" said Gensei Suou—a question he had a habit of
asking. He would tell me that I mustn't waste this valuable period of potential
growth. Working hard now would save me from unwanted trouble in the future.
"I will have the best learning environment and instructors prepared for you. You have
talent. You have a rare gift that exceeds all others, and I will do whatever is necessary for
you to excel."
There was no deceit in those words. Whether it was my studies, the arts, or even martial
arts, I absorbed everything I was taught. My instructors and family showered me with praise,
and it made me proud of myself.
"Hey, Suou. You coming?"
"Don't bother, man. Of course he's not."
It's not my fault I have piano practice today. I mean, video games? How is getting better
at gaming going to help me with anything? I'm not like you guys. People with talent have to
work hard until we discover the limit of our abilities. I have to live up to my grandfather's
expectations.
"I cannot believe how much English you can speak already. Very impressive,
Masachika."
Thank you, Mother. But it isn't enough. I still have potential to grow, so please save all
your praise for me until after I get even better.
"I'm sorry, Masachika. Things must have been hectic for you since I've been sleeping
the whole day."
What are you talking about, Yuki? Of course you need to sleep due to your frail
constitution. Don't worry. I will work hard enough for both of us and become the head of
the Suou family household, so you don't have to worry about a thing.
"Are you okay studying all day like this? You deserve to spend more time playing.
You're a kid. It's okay to act like one."
Spend more time playing? I just finished playing cards with Yuki and Ayano, Father. In
fact, I played for an entire hour, so I should get back to studying. Plus, Mother has looked
very awkward whenever she smiles lately. It's like she's forcing herself to praise me. I have
to work even harder so she doesn't have to force herself to do anything.
"Oh my. You got your black belt in karate? You really worked hard, didn't you? That's
wonderful."
Yeah, she's forcing herself to praise me. This clearly isn't enough to please her. That's
why she's refusing to make eye contact, right? Because she doesn't actually feel happy for
me? I'm sorry, Mother. I will work hard so you don't have to lie any longer. I will continue
working hard until you are genuinely proud of me from the bottom of your heart.
"Sir Masachika? Perhaps you should start getting ready for bed. You need to rest."
I'm fine, Ayano. I still can't grasp my full potential. That's why I need to put in more
effort. More importantly, pay more attention to Yuki for me, okay? I can handle myself, so
please just focus on her.
"Ya think we're stupid, don'cha?"
"Being born rich doesn't make you special, arrogant jerk."
Shut up. Stop annoying me. Just leave me alone!
"Masachika, you should try to get along with your friends more."
Even the teacher won't leave me alone. Those people aren't my friends. They're scum.
All they do is get in my way and hold me back. I don't have time to waste on them. I honestly
don't want to come to school. There's not enough time in the day for all this. I have to work
harder, or Mother will never smile from the bottom of her heart again!
"Just stay home. Nobody wants you here."
"Seriously. Why do you still come to school?"
Shut up, you little twerps. My sister wishes she could come to school, but she can't. The
slightest bit of exercise sends her into a coughing fit. She can't even go outside.
"She has childhood asthma, and her symptoms are rather severe. Not only changes in
environment or temperature, but heightened emotions could also worsen her symptoms, so
please keep a close eye on her."
Can you believe it? Yuki can't get angry or cry. She can't yell or laugh. Not only is she
a prisoner of her body, but her illness robs her of her emotions, too. And yet she doesn't
complain at all. She forces herself to smile so she won't cause trouble for anyone.
Who wants to be with you assholes? I'd be with Yuki right now if I had a choice. But
I don't want to make her sad or worry… That's why I have to go to school—for her sake
as well!
"You have to leave for work again?! You're never home!"
"I'm sorry. I really wish I could spend more time with the family, but—"
"You're alwayslike this! Do you seriously think apologizing's going to make everything
okay?!"
Why…? Why is Mother this angry? Don't yell. I want to see you smile like you used to.
I promise I'll work hard, so please don't get mad at Father. Oh, I know. I'll play that song
Mother told me she liked. Chopin's… What was it again? It was a really hard piece, but I'll
make sure to practice until I can play it for her. Surely then, she'll…
"Stop playing that this instant!"
…I thought it would make her happy. Why?! I practiced really hard! I spent all this time
learning and studying, and I never wasted any time playing! I was picked on at school for
being "arrogant"! And you know what?! I didn't care about any of that! Because Mother
always praised me. Because Yuki always admired me. Why won't she acknowledge how
hard I've been working?! Praise me! Rub my head and tell me I'm doing a good job like
you used to!
"Do not worry about Yumi—about your mother. Just keep working hard like you have
been."
Like I have been? You want me to continue to work hard like this? How the hell am I
supposed to do that? Why? Why won't anyone recognize the pain that I'm in?! It hurts. It's
too much. I feel like I can't breathe trying to live up to my grandfather's expectations. I feel
like I can't breathe around my mother. I feel like I can't breathe…when Yuki and Ayano
look up at me with such innocence in their eyes. I can't take it anymore. I don't…want to
be here anymore.
"What's wrong, Suou? Not going straight home today?"
"Yo, man. I don't think Mommy and Daddy are gonna be happy when they hear you're
trying to skip your piano lessons."
Annoying idiots. They really are aggravating. They just never know when to shut up.
Maybe I should make them shut up? Then— No. They aren't even worth my time. I'll just
ignore them. I have to ignore them…
"Tsk. Is that how it's gonna be? Arrogant little punk."
"His sister's way more fun to pick on."
"His sister?"
"Yeah, she hasn't come to school at all lately, though."
Ignore them. Just ignore them…
"She thinks she's a little princess. It's so annoying. I took her pencil case, and she was
like, 'Give that baaack,' and then she just fell on her face."
"Seriously? Probably has a butler to feed her at home. That's why she's so weak."
"I bet she stays locked in her room all day and plays piano or something."
"Ha-ha-ha!"
Ignore them…!
...............
"Welcome, Masachika! Long time no see!"
"Oh, you're finally here! Masachika, I heard what happened. You beat up four of your
classmates, huh? Good job! You're a real man now!"
"Grandpa! What do you think you're doing? Don't praise him for that."
"He's already been lectured enough, hasn't he? Besides, I find it hard to believe he'd
ever hurt anyone without a good reason. A man only throws a punch when he has no choice
but to put his foot down. Right, Masachika?"
"Sigh… Anyway, you can stay here as long as you'd like, okay?"
"Hell, you can even live with us if you want. Oh, hey! Let Grandpa here show ya his
collection of Russian stuff!"
…Why is he praising me like this? It doesn't make any sense. It's so different from the
Suou household that my brain can't process what's going on.
"You already understand this much Russian? Wow! You really are Kyoutarou's son."
I didn't do anything special, and being praised like this doesn't make me happy at all.
There's only one person who I want to praise me, and being complimented by anyone else
just feels empty.
"<Wait. You can speak Russian? That's awesome!>"
It feels empty. All I feel is emptiness…
"<Wow! You really can do anything! You're so cool!>"
That's… I…
"<You can play piano? I wanna hear you play! Hey, can I listen to you play next time
I see you? It's a promise, then!>"
There's only one person…
"<Masaaachika!>"
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