"Help! Please, somebody, anybody!" Sakura shouted in a deadpan voice. "Won't someone save meeeeee…?" She then turned to Karin, adding, "So, what did you think of my performance?"
"You were very convincing, onee-sama!" said Karin admiringly. "I could barely hold myself back from…" She stopped just short of finishing her sentence, hugging her sides and squealing, "Kyaaa!"
Sakura frowned; that wasn't the reception she'd been quite hoping for. The plan was for her to look like a vulnerable damsel in distress— not an actress from a badly acted porno.
"Please don't scream in my ears," said Neji irritably, as he finished binding Sakura's wrists in front of her with a length of twine he had found at the hideout. "I can barely see what I'm doing, and this is embarrassing enough for me as it is…"
The wooden suspension bridge creaked ominously as it swayed with the morning breeze, far above the red waters of the Valley of Hell that leisurely flowed below. Sakura gulped— if she fell, it would be a long way down…
"Why do I have to play the bait?" Sakura grumbled to herself. "This isn't fair…"
How on earth had things turned out this way?
Well, to find out how, one would have to rewind the clock by twenty-four hours, when Operation Rescue Hinata 2 had still been a mere twinkle in Sakura's eye…
…
"So, do you have a plan?" Tsunade had asked them. "Or are you just planning on rushing to the Hidden Cloud like headless chickens?"
"Does that mean you're sanctioning our operation?" Neji said in surprise. "We have permission to go ahead?"
"Depends on what you have to say," Tsunade replied sternly. "Well? I'm listening."
Tsunade put her hands on her hips and scowled at them, so Sakura began explaining their plan.
Karin would sneak into the Hidden Cloud, using her unique ability to mask her chakra signature to cross the sensing barrier without getting detected. She would take with her a dagger that would allow Tenten to teleport the rest of them in, therefore bypassing the barrier altogether.
"That's… That's a pretty good plan, actually," Tsunade had to admit. "So, there's finally someone in the village who's managed to master granduncle Tobirama's Flying Thunder God Jutsu after the Lord Fourth?"
Tenten had only told Sakura about the dagger without specifically stating which specific Space-Time Ninjutsu she'd use, but it was fairly obvious to Sakura that Tenten had already learned the Flying Raijin before returning to the past— which meant that she had only used her puppet gimmick during the Chūnin exams in order to try and gain the right to use it in front of others.
'That'll come in useful as blackmail material,' Inner Sakura cackled. 'How are you going to explain to the village that you know the Leaf's number 1 top secret Jutsu, Little Miss Girl Who Leapt Through Time?'
"The only problem is that this big idiot over here tore up the summoning scroll," Karin drawled, pointing at Neji. "We've lost our teleporter."
No Tenten, no Flying Thunder God Jutsu.
In theory, Space-Time Ninjutsu was capable of taking one anywhere else in the world and outside of it… as long as it was within one's sensing range. To teleport somewhere, the Flying Thunder God user had to be able to sense their Jutsu Formulas— which meant that it was only good for short distances. Since the Hidden Leaf Village was one and a half countries away, Tenten wouldn't be able to catch up to them, even if she had marked them with her Jutsu formula…
"There might still be a way," Tsunade said slowly, looking pensive. "But you'd have to go in through the front door, though— but first, one of you would have to act as bait…!"
Sakura, Karin and Neji looked at each other, before raising their right fists.
"First goes rock!" they chanted. "Jan, Ken, Pon!"
"You're going to play Rock-Paper-Scissors for it?" Tsunade said incredulously.
…
Which brings our story back to the present.
"Is it really necessary to do this over the Valley of Hell?" Sakura asked nervously. "I think I'm beginning to develop a fear of heights…"
When Tsunade and Shizune had dined at the cultists' ryokan, a few hours before Sakura herself had arrived, they had overheard some bodyguards chatting with each other over some alcohol. They were guarding an unimportant nobleman from the south of the Land of Hot Water and his family, and they would all be attending a certain wedding ceremony in the Hidden Cloud Village.
Apparently, they had specifically come this way to sightsee at the Valley of Hell before continuing northwards…
"Don't worry, we'll be hiding close by, onee-sama," said Karin, licking her lips. "Should I tear up your clothes a bit? I think it'd make you look even more convincing…"
A lone hawk's cry resounded through the valley.
"That's Neji's signal!" Sakura whispered. "Karin, stop messing with my clothes and go hide!"
Shriiip!
"That was my favourite dress!" Sakura hissed. "Karin, if I weren't tied to the guardrail, I'd…"
Karin carefully adjusted Sakura's clothes so that nothing too important was exposed, before scarpering off to the northern end of the bridge. In case something unexpected happened, Neji and Karin would be able to perform a pincer manoeuvre to prevent their prey from escaping, since there were only two ways off a bridge… unless you counted plummeting to your death.
And now, Sakura could only wait. When he focused his vision in one direction, Neji could see for kilometres, so it was going to take some time for the nobles to arrive.
'This is really uncomfortable,' Inner Sakura grumbled. 'Did Neji have to tie these knots so tightly?'
Half an hour later, an owl's hoot sounded a single time— Neji's signal to proceed with the mission as planned. And a few minutes after that, the nobleman's procession finally came into view— a palanquin carried by four servants, half a dozen guards, and…
"Who are you?" a man's deep voice sounded, as an old and wrinkly shinobi flickered in front of Sakura. "What happened to you?"
"Eek!" cried Sakura, pretending to be scared.
This old man was the only shinobi in the nobleman's entourage— a single owl's hoot meant a single ninja guard. And he was a weakling, too— his Body Flicker was so slow that Sakura had almost yawned when she had seen him coming towards her.
"What's the holdup?" came a man's voice from the palanquin— only much higher-pitched.
"Please, you have to help me!" Sakura sobbed loudly enough for the noble inside to hear. "They kept doing this and that to me— I can hardly take any more of this cruel treatment!"
Intrigued, the nobleman pushed aside the palanquin's drapes and poked his head outside to behold the crying Sakura, whose enormous breasts were squeezed together due to the alluring way in which Neji had tied her wrists together in front of her.
"This and that, you say?" said the nobleman, licking his lips in anticipation. "Ninja, I order you to bring this girl to me— I wish to hear more of her tale…"
"Dear!" cried his wife in a scandalized voice.
Creation is hard, cheer me up!
"Is this how rich people travel, onee-sama?" a mature woman's bored voice called out from within the palanquin. "At this rate, I'll be an old maid before we make it to the Hidden Cloud…"
Sakura pretended not to have heard the question, as she led the march in front of the palanquin carried by four burly servants. She was hoping that her silence would dissuade the person riding inside from asking any more questions, but unfortunately for her, her plan was not quite working out…
"Onee-sama~," came the noblewoman's plaintive voice, as she poked her head out from behind the drapes. "Why aren't you answering~…"
"Would you kindly stay in character, Tsuchimikado-sama?" said Sakura through gritted teeth. "If you keep acting strangely, your Lord Husband might eventually notice that there's something very wrong with his beloved wife…"
…
Obviously, the woman in question was Karin in disguise, who had used the Transformation Jutsu to copy the noblewoman's appearance and take her place at the nobleman's side.
As for why nobody had noticed the swap…
Once the old shinobi bodyguard had brought Sakura to the nobleman for a 'closer' look, she had unleashed the full might of her Genjutsu abilities on him and his entourage, convincing them that she and Neji had been part of the team of bodyguards from the start and that the upstart Karin disguised as his wife was not suspicious in the slightest.
As for the nobleman's original wife, Sakura had sent her back to the hot spring village; along with the hottest of the six bodyguards and the ninja that he had hired from the Village Hidden in Hot Water.
Sakura had convinced the trio that they were off to a torrid and steamy love affair behind the husband's back (which wouldn't have been the first time, according to the information that Sakura had gleaned from the noblewoman's mind). This way, the noblewoman wouldn't raise a fuss once she inevitably snapped out of the Genjutsu and realized that she hadn't gone to the wedding reception like she had planned.
Thus, Sakura's plan was airtight, and even though it would have been safer to simply execute the extras, she didn't want to just go around murdering unrelated people.
…
"What husband— oh, him?" said Karin dismissively. "He's not going to be a problem— he was trying to run his dirty fingers all over me, so I made him take a nap."
Sakura facepalmed.
Now, she would have to add another layer to the very complex Genjutsu she had cast upon the man, to explain why his dear wife would ever punch him in the gut with the strength of a thousand exploding suns.
"Oh, kunoichi girl?" Karin coyly called out to Sakura. "I would like to eat some fruit, but that would get my hands all sticky~ would you kindly come over here and hand-feed me some persimmon slices?"
'And now she's abusing her authority,' said Inner Sakura amusedly. 'She's so high maintenance that she makes for a perfectly convincing noblewoman…'
"Don't push your luck, Tsuchimikado-sama," Sakura called back sweetly. "Unless you'd like to be hand-fed your fruit slices the same way you fed your Lord Husband a knuckle sandwich?"
The remaining four guards walking next to the palanquin tilted their heads in confusion; varying levels of bafflement appearing on their faces in response to Sakura's words.
Their mental conditioning was not perfect, but as long as Sakura, Neji and Karin didn't do or say things that were wildly out of character, they would remain perfectly content to accept the small voice whispering in the back of their heads that they had all been travelling together since the very beginning of their adventure…
"Ohoho," said Karin, laughing nervously. "You know how it is~ that man likes it rough…"
The guards' facial expressions soon returned to normal; Karin's words had somehow placated their doubts. Just how big of a pervert was this nobleman, for his bodyguards to accept such an explanation without batting an eye!?
"Deep down, I always knew he was an M," Sakura heard one guard whisper to another.
"Hey, as long as he pays our wages on time," the other guard responded, "he can do whatever he wants in his free time."
-------------------------------------------
And so, one day after the noble Tsuchimikado family's convoy had got hijacked by Team Sakura over the perilous Valley of Hell, their new combined group finally crossed the border and arrived in the Land of Frost (not to be confused with the technologically advanced Land of Snow).
Since the nobleman's papers were in order, the Land of Frost's authorities rapidly approved their entry into their territory, and they finally swapped from the extremely slow palanquin to some much faster horse-drawn carriages— much to the palanquin bearers' relief— and they were allowed to proceed to their next destination: the Land of Lightning.
But before going any farther, Sakura and Neji were forced to make a few small cosmetic changes to their appearances. Bright pink being too eye-catching, Sakura dyed her hair black, and she also put on a binder to minimize her large chest. As for Neji, his Byakugan were giving away his true identity, so he put on the coloured contact lenses that he had found in the hideout in the Land of Hot Water.
And with those small details out of the way, the group finally crossed over into the Land of Lightning…
-------------------------------------------
Sakura reclined on her seat aboard her carriage, feeling slightly anxious as she watched the Land of Lightning's mountainous countryside flying past her. So far, the plan had gone off without a hitch— unless you counted losing Tenten at the very start, but that had ended up being a good thing— the new plan was much less risky!
Instead of teleporting in, all members of Team Sakura would be entering through the village's front door, posing as wedding guests. Since Karin could hide her chakra from sensor-nin, she was able to pass as a civilian, therefore allowing her to impersonate a V.I.P. from the Land of Hot Water. And since Sakura and Neji couldn't do that, they would simply be acting as her ninja bodyguards and follow her wherever she went.
Then, it would be a simple matter of having Neji search for the distinct chakra signature of Hinata's Byakugan over the next few days, before the wedding ceremony started… Unless Hinata had been sealed away, or had been forced to part ways with her own eyes— then it would be much harder to track her down.
'And once we've found Hinata, they'll just allow us to walk out of the Hidden Cloud Village with her,' said Inner Sakura sarcastically. 'Face it, we're not coming out of this alive. Remember, these are the people who tried to kidnap Naruto's mum, the Nine-Tail's Jinchūriki. Plus, they're the first ones to ever succeed at kidnapping a Hyūga clan member from the main branch. They're completely shameless, so they're going to throw everything they have at us. Their two Jinchūriki, maybe even the Raikage himself…'
As soon as those words had crossed Sakura's mind, the System's cool mechanical voice rang out:
Beep! Computing… A new skill has been synthesized: The Tailed Breast Chakra Mode has been derived (尾乳モード)!
Requirements: Breast chakra from two female Jinchūriki: Nii Yugito and Fū. One for each breast.
"You can't be serious, System," Sakura muttered to herself. "All that for a bad pun?"
T/N: Bijuu (尾獣) means tailed beast, Binyuu (美乳) means beautiful breasts, Binyuu (尾乳) is tailed breast.
Creation is hard, cheer me up!
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