Three days had passed since my return to the island, and Christmas had crept up on me. I hadn't slept at all during that time, hastily finishing and buying (for the usual acquaintances like Arkham and Dershowitz) presents, and then delivering them to the courier service and faking the delivery notes to make it look like I'd sent them before I left for Brazil. Fortunately, Babs' magic and hacking programs helped me to successfully complete the task by the deadline. I had to remember my nightly adventures and my studies, to which I now devoted all my free time.
I managed to make some progress in doppel-magic, having accidentally found a book with copying charms by a certain Clara Valak. Previously, I had to form an image of an object myself, and then make it material by creating a bunch of anchor points. Now this function is almost entirely taken over by a learned spell. Of course, it's quite energy-consuming even when used on small objects, and the copies created by it can't boast a long life time and great resistance to mechanical impact, but that's a start. A month ago I couldn't cast a normal illusion without the help of diamonds and funny memories for concentration, and now I can already create solid objects (to be fair, using diamonds and very, very rarely memories).
Eh, though it was worth it to get some sleep these days, giving my mind a rest, otherwise it's hard to explain why my mind comes up with things that don't make the most sense.
Having finished the epic with gifts, just at night on the eve of the holiday, when I got out of the delivery office, I saw the Bats symbol in the sky and thought of nothing smarter than to visit Gordon. I prepared a surprise for him too, he's my future father-in-law, and he's in charge of the cops who are always trying to hold me up. Heh, a surprise from the Joker... What could be better?
The commissioner clearly didn't share my enthusiasm. As soon as one clown climbed onto the roof of the station and made his presence known, I had to dodge a fist to the jaw, and then I had to stop the man from grabbing the gun using the glue charms.
- What the hell are you doing here?! - Mousey's father was sputtering and rolling his eyes, trying in vain to get his feet off the floor or at least his hands off his holster to reach the radio.
Yeah, I was afraid I'd hit him hard before I could set the spell to a limited radius, but that was better.
"Ha-ha-ha, Jim, don't get so excited! I've come to share the Christmas spirit with you!
"The Grinch has more Christmas spirit than you, you sick bastard.
"Ew, how rude," I grinned sweetly, revealing slightly pointed teeth. - I brought you a wonderful gift, didn't I?
"The best gift I can give you is to see your face behind bars.
"Nah, it's too late, I've already prepared the surprise and I don't want to throw it away, so...
"What's going on here? - Gloomy Mouse's stern voice sounded behind me.
"Batman, thank goodness," the commissioner exclaimed happily. - The Joker's got me, and he's planning to do something terrible!
-Whoa, whoa! No dirty insinuations, please. I just brought a present, and this mustachioed prick tried to shoot me. By the way, I got you one too, but I'll give it to you later.
"Mrh... - Mysh rubbed his eyes through his mask.
I must have gotten to him in the last couple of days, since I was constantly competing with Nightwing for the number of criminals apprehended. Yes, yes, impressed by the illusion, the little guy changed his role and even managed to take his canonical name. Of course, such a competition characterizes me not on the best side, but the young superhero had a good head start, because he was not being hunted by the police, and he also gave it much more free time. So far, by the way, the score is fifteen to twelve in my favor.
Gordon was looking at me and at the latex-clad superhero without taking any active steps.
"Isn't anyone going to save me? - The red-haired man asked resentfully.
"I'll save you, let me just give you a present! - I happily replied, putting my hand into my purple pants pocket. - That's not it," I shoved back the RPG-7 barrel that appeared. - That's not it either, - the gag with fur handcuffs disappears in the pocket. - Where'd that come from? - one of the faithful assistant's baseball bats. - Shit, I told Harley not to throw her stuff around.
On the fourth time, to the accompaniment of the police chief's twitching eye, I did pull out a small metal badge with a chain, similar to those worn by American servicemen, only a little more massive.
"Here. I'm going to be out of Gotham for the holidays," I thought for a moment, as if I heard a "thank God" from Bats's side, "so I won't be able to get you out of there if some thugs put another unintended hole in your body. This magic amulet can withstand exactly two pistol shots from a distance of three meters. Then it goes to reload, which takes about two or three weeks. There's a little crystal melted into the back of it that's supposed to glow yellow when there's a charge. This thing lasts for about three cycles, after which the weave will disintegrate and the crystal will finally go out.
"You really expect me to believe that crap?
~Shuh, shuh, shuh, shuh, shuh-zang! ~
With a low whistle, a batarang flew at me, only to bounce off the translucent film around my body a moment later.
"And now there's one charge left, well done, Bats," I commented grudgingly. - Although, I must admit, it was a very clear demonstration. So, Merry Christmas, Jim, - I put the token on the neck of the quiet commissioner, and then turned to the mouse experimenter. - And as for you, here, - a small colorful box passed into the hands of Gloomy Mouse.
"What is it?
"Incredibly caustic acid...
"I knew the Joker couldn't be trusted! - exclaimed the future father-in-law.
"...which is securely sealed. Just be careful anyway, it's unrealistically active and can melt through a centimeter thick steel plate in a matter of moments.
"Thank you," he thanked after a long pause (probably filled with Alfred's lectures) and tucked the box away somewhere behind his belt.
I cleared my ear and an incredibly satisfied smile graced my face.
"Ha ha ha! There, you see! - I turned back to Gordon. - That's what you should say when someone gives you something, not send a bunch of cops to arrest you. I wish they were as enthusiastic about catching real criminals. Damn, I'm upset. I'm gonna go to Harley's. She'll make me feel better.
I take three steps and deftly leap over the railing and scramble away before I can hear him: "I told you the Joker had changed."
Basically, all the business is done and now all that's left is to pick up Mouse to give her the coolest gift of all, namely to turn the girl into a pale semblance of a super soldier and maybe give her the ability to cast spells. Her father will be away at work for the next few days, so he's letting her celebrate Christmas at a distant relative's house, who's sure Barbara will be at her friend's house and it's a clever maneuver to get out from under Gordon's tutelage for a while.
Naturally, Ivy would be in charge of the conversion, but my contribution should not be discounted. While Ivy will be improving the redhead's body, the ritual I developed should convert the excess natural energy into neutral mana, filter it additionally, and then concentrate it around the girl's body. Unfortunately, due to the relative scarcity of the magical background, the probability of activation of the seventh beginning is extremely low, but the ritual will, in any case, slightly increase the rate of conversion and help Babs to bear the procedure more easily. The Shadow Peak altar was a bummer. According to Zee, a normal person would be more likely to be torn up by the force of someone else's power instead of awakening the source, and I'm not going to risk that much.
Further everything was relatively simple: to stop by the Mouseketeer's house, to get to the mansion of the enchantress, to move to her private island, to introduce the young heroine to Ivy, to clarify once again whether she was ready, and then to hand her over to the caring hands of the protector of nature, who had already grown a large flower almost in the very center of the tropical paradise.
Becoming a "super soldier" is not an easy procedure and should last for three whole days, during which Pamela will manage the changes, sitting day and night next to the patient... patient. Harley and I had planned to be nearby, wanting to morally support our green-skinned friend, but she quickly sent us away to stay out of the way. So right now we were relaxing on the sun beds, listening to the relaxing sound of the sea and drinking delicious cocktails made of fresh fruit.
I took another sip of the refreshing drink and froze, watching in amazement as instead of a horizon line, the outline of a large piece of land surrounded by rocks sticking out of the water, looking like the teeth of some huge monster.
With each passing moment the mirage became more and more distinct, and soon it was impossible to say for sure whether I was looking at an illusion or a real object. A couple of sandy beaches, dense forests, a low mountain range, on which some man-made constructions could be seen... And one of the reasons for buying this particular island, in addition to the incredibly democratic price, was its location: in the nearest ten kilometers there was no hint of land, and therefore no people. Now it turns out that just two nautical miles away from us there are clear signs of civilization.
"Huh. Am I glitching? - I asked puzzled, remembering the interworld, but the mirage wasn't even going to go away.
Probably shouldn't have used those weird fruits Ivy grew for drinks.
I took a small sip from my glass. Hmm, although their great flavor more than outweighs their hallucinogenic properties.
"If you see a big island too, I don't think so," the cutie replied, looking suspiciously at her alcoholic cocktail.
So it's not a glitch... Or our imaginations are throwing up the same images. That's what it means to be in complete synchronization with your soul mate.
A couple of moments later, the sea rippled, and a warm stream of air hit me in the face. Immediately afterward, a bright column of blue light, beaming from the sky, appeared over the northern part of the island, where there was a steep cliff and some kind of pyramid, like those built by the Mayans.
"Interesting..." I got up from the recliner, putting the illusion on my face on automatic.
Despite the fact that I was now wearing only comfortable, brightly colored breeches and a Hawaiian shirt, I was fully prepared for the adventure. It was the modified space tapes with increased volume, and the fact that almost all of my pockets had Velcro on them, and now I didn't even have to hastily sew the tapes in place or even take out their contents. It is enough, without opening the contour, just to stick them in a new place and you can use them.
"Mr. J.?
"Let's check out what's going on in there.
"Heh," the blonde smiled contentedly. - I'm all for it, but I'll wear something more appropriate.
Since Harley's swimsuit consisted only of strings, hid nothing, and, purely technically, didn't allow for a space pocket, she had to go shopping for her favorite red-and-black cheerleader outfit. I, on the other hand, visited Ivy in the meantime and warned her of the upcoming expedition. She wasn't thrilled that we were going to visit a suspicious island that had literally appeared out of thin air, but I managed to convince her of the necessity of the expedition and give her a kiss for good luck.
After that I returned to the beds, where my faithful companion was already waiting for me, and found that the pillar of light had disappeared. I returned to the sunbeds where my faithful companion was already waiting for me and found that the pillar of light had disappeared.
We got there, of course, with the help of footsteps, and using diamonds to increase our speed.
I don't know why, but it felt like time was slipping through my fingers. Realizing that it's not for nothing, I called up the System window and almost fell over at another jump. Not believing my eyes, once again looking at the quest with the proposal to kill another monster. All would be nothing, quite ordinary task ... If it were not for the reward of five hundred free points! Even for the fake Doomsday, which was kicked with great difficulty by four supers, including a Kryptonian and the strongest Amazon, I was given only one hundred and fifty points.
I could turn around and pretend like it never happened, but my heroic streak is pushing me to do something less logical. Though nothing prevents me from taking off in case of danger, the good deed gives me great maneuverability.
"Sunshine, be very careful and stay out of the way," I warned my assistant.
"Understood, Mr. J," the girl nodded gravely, catching my mood.
As I got closer, my vision began to distinguish human figures in bronze armor and medieval weapons in their hands, as well as horses parked not far from the entrance to the pyramid. After a couple more seconds, I realized that all humans boasted long hair and upper roundness, and the armor appeared to resemble the armored sylorfuku worn by Diana.
Question. What the fuck are the Amazons doing here if their island is in the Ionian Sea? Well, who else could it be?
Before my eyes, a golden-haired woman with some kind of glowing square box in her hands jumped out of the mouth of the pyramid, accompanied by a stirring of dust.
~Skrak~
Despite the distance, his hearing picked up a loud crackling sound.
The stone structure began to tumble rapidly into the ocean along with a decent chunk of rock.
Not paying attention to the epic collapse (tough Amazons, as well as tough guys, do not look at the "explosion"), the survivor handed her burden to one of the warriors, who immediately saddled a horse and rode to the center of the island in the company of friends, and only then came to the cliff and knelt down, expressing sadness. She did not watch the huge pyramid being swallowed by the ocean and now she was grieving.
The woman could not admire the marvelous view for long. The water foamed sharply, and several dozen black winged creatures that looked like anthropomorphic beetles with dragonfly wings flew out of the water with a wild screech that sounded like a knife scratching on glass.
A huge armored humanoid with an axe that sparkled with lightning jumped out of the ocean after them. He jumped very successfully, as he not only managed to overtake his winged friends, but also landed very close to the galloping Amazons, managing to throw off two horsewomen together with the four-legged transport with a shock wave.
The other maidens were not confused and quickly began shooting bows at the strange knight and throwing ropes at him, clearly intending to perform the ritual of quartering.
I don't know why, but some brave warriors, instead of turning the freak into a needle pillow, tried to get into close combat. The huge horned monster just swung his sparkling axe a couple times, throwing the bad women away from him (though he should have chopped them up), and then he cut some of the ropes and went on the counterattack. The anthropomorphic beetles arrived, and the girls had to retreat willy-nilly.
The flying monsters were quite fast and maneuverable compared to their leader, so they quickly caught up with the fleeing riders and tried to take the glowing box from them. Fortunately, by this point, Harley and I had finally gotten close enough to help.
~Bah~
With a precision shot, I blasted one of the freaks in the skull, knocking it to the ground.
~Bah-bah~
My companion's shots were less effective, but they prevented the attackers from reaching the artifact.
We sped up some more, keeping up with the Amazons and shooting off monsters along the way.
"Don't let them get to Cube! - One of them shouted, leaping at one of the beetles with a sword.
I didn't have time to reply as I had to descend sharply to the ground, fleeing from a horned knight flying overhead.
"Mr. J! - Harley was distracted, missing one of the creatures.
The anthropomorphic beetle wasted no time and grabbed the glowing box and lifted it into the air right along with the warrior who had clung to it.
Holy shit, it has a wingspan of only half a meter, but it has enough lifting power to carry at least a hundred and twenty kilograms. Heh, here come the materials for the gift. A couple of monsters flying toward me, as if reading my thoughts, abruptly changed direction.
I didn't get distracted by the cowards and, after circling the horned leader in an arc, rejoined the retreating men who had successfully beaten the box back.
After a couple of minutes of chase, filled with a lot of acrobatics, because I with Harley stupidly did not have time to finish off all the winged creatures, we somehow imperceptibly remained only four: me, my lovely companion, the golden-haired woman who caught up with us, as well as a red-haired person, whom the warriors addressed by the name Artemis. And our new companions had only one horse for two.
~Booh! ~
I'm sick of that hoppin' bastard! The bastard almost turned one clown into a pancake again! Hmmm... The Amazons were less fortunate though. He landed right next to them and hit the horse's head with his axe and seriously wounded the golden-haired girl.
"Queen! - Artemis rushed to the wounded woman, completely oblivious to the crate that everyone was fussing over.
True, he managed to roll right up to my feet, but that's absolutely no reason to forget about him.
"Give me the Mother Cube," the horned knight said suddenly, stepping toward me as I lifted the artifact to get a closer look. - You have no reason to die here.
"Uh... I kind of really don't want to die, but I need some assurances.
"I am Steppenwolf, one of Darkseid's generals. Is my word not enough for you, wretched warlock?
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh... I never thought my theory of some unknowable evil planetary-scale shit actually coming to fruition.
"So if I give you this thing, you'll just leave? - out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a number of horsewomen appearing from over the hill.
"Yeah. (chuckles)
"Well...
"Don't you dare! - Artemis spoke up, and her queen wheezed something as she was crushed by the dead horse. - Help is at hand.
Yep, help may be close, except the freak is even closer, and a fifth of bugs won't make for a quick getaway, even using a dob. Besides, I got a plan.
"Okay... I give you this thing and you don't hurt anyone else. Okay?
"Yeah. (chuckles)
"Then here you go," I tossed the box over to him after a moment's hesitation, and then watched with great surprise as a familiar pillar of light formed.
"Good choice, mage," the Darkseid general said, and then disappeared with his minions.