Rio de Janeiro greeted our couple with thirty-degree heat and pre-holiday hustle and bustle.
Most Brazilians are Catholic Christians, so it's not surprising that they approach Christmas with complete dedication. There is no need to talk about it, because they call it Dia de festas, which means "Mother of all festivals".
Already now the buildings of the already bright city have a lot of decorations, and on the streets a lot of artists are rehearsing, arranging colorful spontaneous processions. Naturally, there were the obligatory fir trees, and, thank the Creator, most of the trees were artificial, otherwise our charming escort, who took a vacation in WayneBiotech, could well have been very upset, and it would have led to unnecessary casualties among the civilian population.
The meeting with Ivy, who was waiting for us right at the exit of the airport terminal, turned out to be quite hot. The red-haired girl was clearly starved for attention, so our kiss was incredibly passionate. It seemed that the sparks between us a little more and turn into a full-fledged thunder armor, and then Harley also joined in with multicolored eyes, showing how much she missed her friend, which made her hair electrified. In short, from the ship we went straight to the ball, or rather, from the airplane straight to the bunk of a five-star hotel.
When the first joy of the long-awaited meeting finally subsided, and the two weary darlings fell asleep in each other's arms, the system pleased me with three additional units in the seventh beginning, as well as, with some confusion, two spirit points. Huh, that's probably for holding back and not laying out my favorites right in the hotel lobby or on the seat of a cab.
Over breakfast, Pamela told us how she was saving the planet from pollution by growing plants to clean up the ocean, and we shared stories of our epic adventures in Gotham. Finally we could talk normally, because we couldn't give out much information over the phone, because we didn't want to end up on the wrong side of the law again, losing everything we'd earned.
Ivy was genuinely happy for the operation to revive Gotham's most reckless couple in Wayne Manor, and marveled at the possibilities of magic, finally specifying why on earth the billionaire had allowed her to run his house, breaking open the floors to create all the necessary rituals. I had to get out of it, together with the blonde, hanging select noodles on charming green ears, just not to burn Bats's second personality.
Of course, during the story there was no shortage of reports from the bed front, and I have to say, we were a little bit offended, because we managed to trade a wonderful in every way green conservationist with red hair for a green conservationist with green hair, who was literally a log in bed.
After a lively discussion, during which I managed to defend a place in the harem for Abby, and at the same time for one pretty sorceress (so as not to return to this topic again), it took me almost three hours to restore the room from damage and calm down the manager who came running to the noise.
And it's a good thing that I had the "Sculptor" spell in my arsenal after raiding the repository of magical knowledge.
The principle of its action was quite simple, it allows you to turn a solid homogeneous object into a kind of clay, mold it into the desired shape, and then return the former appearance. However, you should not get too carried away with it, as its active use can finally break the crystal lattice, as a result of which even the strongest metal can turn into a kind of sand.
I personally checked this fact when I fixed the chair broken against the wall, launched in flight by flexible vines, so for it, as well as for the broken TV had to pay almost double the cost, having let down some of the money earned from the game. By the way, a little PR that I arranged at the charity event clearly went in favor of "Cristali", dramatically increasing the number of downloads.
With the right amount of energy and the right spell formula, I managed to restore the floor in two rooms, a couple of walls, a bent refrigerator door, and a bed to pristine condition while the girls successfully distracted the hotel manager.
And the most frustrating thing is that it was me they were jealous of and trying to get back at! As if I was the one pushing Harley down the path of debauchery, when everything was happening exactly the opposite.
In any case, the repairs were successfully completed, all the outsiders were off, and I demanded Ivy reimburse all the wasted mana by recharging the tarnished diamonds.
I was absolutely sure that my green mistress (who also had red hair) was connected to Nature's plan, but, as the experiments showed, her energy was absorbed much worse than the one Abby shared, and after using it there was a strange aftertaste, as if I had chewed bitter grass. But mana is mana, especially with "green" coloring, so we charged the gems anyway, and afterwards we went on a tour around the city.
There was still a whole week left before Zee's concert, and our company with a clear conscience allowed itself to relax and just start resting, leaving all the problems of the criminal world behind. We lounged on the beach, blinding the surrounding tourists with our snow-white skin, which didn't stick to the tan, went to the local sights, visited the best restaurants, tasted various delicacies, and had unrestrained sex, as if we wanted to try all the positions in the Kama Sutra, which, taking into account our flexibility, looked quite feasible.
For the first time in several months in the new world I had a really normal vacation (not counting a couple of weeks in the asylum in the company of Ivy). I didn't have to hurry anywhere, I didn't have to save anyone, I didn't have to chase bandits or mafia, no one asked me to deal with the problems threatening to destroy the Earth... It was kind of depressing, lacking adrenaline. I've just gotten better and learned a couple new tricks. Besides, judging by the news from the Internet, Shit-Face once again escaped from Arkham, and just in Gotham somehow again troubled. When has it ever been otherwise?
In short, Bats and Mousey are out there having a blast hunting down a trio of supervillains, and we're sitting here in Brazil, relaxing our buns: it's not right.
"We need to go to Gotham," I said one morning at breakfast.
"Maybe we shouldn't. Zee's concert is in three days, - Harley obviously didn't want to part with the hot country, where fresh fruit cocktails are delicious.
"No, you should. You gotta admit, it's a little weird: Jay Arkham and Harleen Quinzel leaving town, and then the Joker and Harley Quinn suddenly showing up missing," I argued logically.
"Hmm, listen," Ivy caught our attention, sitting at the table with a tablet in her hands. - I don't know what your relationship with Zee is, but she doesn't seem to want to cross paths with you. Even canceled the show.
"What?!
A moment later, I was holding the dryad's gadget in my hands, reading the news about the show being moved to Las Vegas to a casino with the mega-original name Paradise. The gears were turning in my head, looking for the best way out of a difficult situation.
"Hmm... Right now, we're going to the island, take over the house there, and, in general, create a lot of activity. Then, from there, we take a private jet to Gotham, make some public appearances, and then go to Las Vegas, also secretly, so that Zee doesn't get away. All right, everybody?
"Yes!"
"No," Poison Ivy shook her head negatively.
"Hey, why? It's a great plan! - Harley was outraged.
"Don't get me wrong. For the first time in a very long time, I like what I do," the former supervillain smiled sadly. "With WayneBiotech's support, I've actually started saving the planet. Not to organize single terrorist attacks, but to act systematically, with the support of crowds of lawyers and the bureaucratic machine. Already the damage caused by oil rigs has been seriously reduced, and the effects will only accumulate from here on out. I just can't give up," the dryad squeezed the edge of the tabletop with excitement, which made it creak."
"Hey, hey, what are you doing? - The blonde was at her friend's side, wrapping her in a gentle embrace. - We're not forcing you.
"Absolutely," I joined in the hug. - You're not some doll without a purpose in life, you have your own desires and dreams. We love you, and we're glad you've found your calling. Besides, you are really doing a very useful thing. We can't all save the planet by destroying the altars of demon worshippers.
"But we'll have to part again..." Ivy relaxed a little, trustingly resting her forehead against mine.
"I think we'll be able to visit you more often," I said cautiously.
"Yay, we're going to buy an airplane! - rejoiced the blonde.
"No," I had to disappoint my beloved a little.
I've already thought about buying a flying transport, but to use such a technique, at least, you need to know how to operate it, so as not to attract outsiders every time, and it's not easy to travel secretly on civilian models, given the various radars and satellites, and a cool technique with camouflage without the right connections is hardly easy to buy even for a lot of money. Hmm... Although you can buy a regular airplane, and then pump it with magic. I wonder if the mind school can remotely affect the operator in the control room or do I need to do something with invisibility?
"Jay, don't hang on," I was distracted from my thoughts by the dryad's gentle voice.
I focus my gaze on the two beauties who are staring at me with obvious impatience, waiting for me to continue. Well, I won't keep them waiting.
"I stumbled across a school of space in Zee's library. Purely technically, using portals isn't a particularly difficult science... Unlike building them. There's so many parts of magical creatures and magical materials required, it's not like it's a three meter stone circle, but a small pyramid. But, I have hope that I'll be able to set up a portal in Shadow Peak. At least there's access to the room.
"What about teleportation? Remember when we dealt with the spiders? It didn't seem to require anything special," my faithful assistant suggested.
"No, that's not gonna work. Normal teleportation has a radius limited to a couple of kilometers. Besides, there's practically no protection when traveling, and even an archdemon can't get through a stationary portal, at most small spirits that can't harm ordinary people.
"Well, that sounds good. But how do you plan on sneaking into Gotham? I take it you don't have a portal right now.
"I'll think of something," I shrugged. - I'll think of something," I said, shrugging. "I'll figure something out," I said, shrugging my shoulders, but I still had to deal with the island first: check the house, make it safe from intruders, maybe plant some plants.
"Oh, what would you do without me? I'm going to go pack," Ivy turned on the zundere mode and grudgingly unwrapped the hug, heading for the closet, picking up her suitcase on the way.
To get to my personal island (how cool it sounds) was quite simple: take tickets to the airport of San Salvador, make a short flight and right on the spot to buy a boat, which took our trio to the desired place in just an hour.
"It doesn't seem very impressive," Ivy said, and I was in complete agreement.
When it comes to their own island, especially in the Bahamas, the imagination draws a tropical paradise: sandy beach, coral reefs with fish, clear water, a lot of plants, such as palm trees, orchids and aloe, colorful birds and, of course, a huge palace house with an obligatory swimming pool.
We had this. Right above the murky sea there was a practically round piece of rock, on which, like a pimple, a square one-storey house, made of a couple of cargo containers painted in blue, was sticking out like a pimple. There was a small booth next to the building, where, judging by the wires running from it, there was a generator, and a satellite dish protruded above all this splendor.
"Would the house, by any chance, be blown into the sea during the hurricane? - My faithful companion asked, jumping first onto a small pier, from under which the frowning dryad fished out a couple of empty plastic bottles and a torn plastic bag, crumpling the garbage into a small compact cube.
-It sits on four steel piles deepened into the rock by three meters. According to the seller, it would rather demolish the island than our house.
After pulling the alarm that was supposed to summon the nearest Coast Guard patrol, we got inside a rather cozy nest.
It was not as sad as it looked from the outside. A small kitchen, two bedrooms, an office, a workshop, a toilet with a shower, and satellite internet. Naturally, all the rooms were furnished with furniture and the necessary equipment, and quite good quality, otherwise it would have been unclear what almost half a million dollars had been given for.
After unpacking and having a quick bite to eat, we set about setting up the grounds.
While Ivy worked her magic, growing beautiful plants, Harley and I drew numerous runes, creating a protective perimeter that was primarily aimed at keeping outsiders from taking an interest.
By evening, the islet had been transformed into something like a tropical paradise from a postcard, but it looked like that only to us, while other people would continue to see a bare piece of rock with a couple of shabby steel containers covered with rust. One of the spells additionally affects the mind, discouraging the desire to visit this godforsaken place, and for those who are too persistent, there are a couple of stretch marks at the top of the pier. All of this is powered by special ritual circles that draw energy from numerous plants.
***
"So, how are you going to move to Gotham? - The green-skinned hottie asked, landing on a nearby recliner.
I sat on a ledge with a marvelous view of the sunset while Harley tended to the kitchen.
"You'll see in a couple minutes," I replied cryptically.
"Hmm..." Ivy put a hand to her forehead with a visor, staring intently at the horizon line. - An airplane? - she suggested, noticing a black dot.
"Heh, something much cooler.
A few minutes later, the clearer outline of a dark vehicle became visible in the sky.
"Batcave?! - exclaimed the dryad in shock. - What did you do to get Batman off your back? Or did he come to put you in the asylum?
"I think it's a gift for good behavior," I answered, deciding not to mention the dozen letters sent to Bats' mailbox, describing all the prospects of this step.
I probably just bored him, but the alternative was several plane rides under illusion spells and exposure to the mind of the attendants, which rarely goes without consequences for the mind. Or maybe it was the fact that I had shared my misgivings about the sorceress who is Mouse's friend. There was something fishy about the abrupt cancelation of the concert in Brazil. Well, I don't believe it was just because of Harley and me. In addition, according to the news, the police arrested a gang of magicians on big flying cards, who tried to rob the casino where the enchantress was performing. I found out about it after I arrived on the island, and then I started to write to Bats, hoping for a chance to use mouse airlines.
"No more spamming," were the first words that came out of the speaker as the blonde and I boarded the flying transport, leaving the green beauty on the pier. - Next time, use talking points, briefly.
"I'll try," I settled into the comfortable chair, buckling my seatbelt. "Any news on Zee?"
"She's getting married."