Chương 29: Metropolis
"Honey, finish it. - I once again pulled my charming companion back.
"But it twitches so funny. - I got a pleading look in my eyes. Oh, those beautiful blue eyes, like two bottomless lakes to drown in. How could I say no to them? Okay, the rest of the traffic seems to be trying to stay away from our slow, snail-like vehicle.
"Okay, but this is the last time.
"Whee!" I got a peck on the cheek. - Boo!" A sharp shriek made our driver swerve once again, gripping the steering wheel until it creaked.
The satisfied girl, giving in to inertia, fell on top of me smiling happily. Eh, I didn't think that the phlegmatic behavior of the previous cab driver would hurt her so much. After all, she likes to be the center of attention, and then she just wasn't recognized! And neither did I. It's amazing to be around.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha!" His behavior looked really funny, but we have to finish, or we'll get to the station at this rate only by tomorrow morning, and it's not right. I looked at the man trembling with fear.
"Dude, don't you watch the news at all?
"S-l-looking, Mr., sir. - The man stammered.
"Then you should know that we've been cleared of all charges.
"Y-yes...
"Hell, you do realize that if I wanted to maim or shoot you, I would have done it a long time ago, right?
"Y-yes...
"No, Mr. J, you certainly wouldn't do that if you were in the position you were in, you'd order them to go somewhere more secluded. - Harlequin jumped in with a comment.
The driver looked at the navigator pointing the way to the train station on the outskirts of Gotham, next to an industrial area with dark alleys where no one would turn to the cries for help of another unfortunate, and turned gray with fear.
"Harley, you're not helping, he's gonna have a stroke!
"Oh, come on. - The girl waved me off. - We'll order a new cab, and it's closer from here, so we'll pay less.
I looked closely at the back of the chauffeur's head.
"Don't! I'll drive and I'll do it for free!!!
"Eh, she's just kidding. And don't drive!" I reprimanded the man, when he drowned the gas pedal in fear of the prospects. - Here, take it easy. - I said in a soothing voice, not enough to get into an accident.
Eh, although his reaction is funny, it's still a bit of a strain. Yeah, and it's a bit of a contrast to the previous driver.
Fortunately, my beloved had already vented her soul and no longer coddled the cab driver, allowing him to take us to our destination.
After finding a parking space, our vehicle stopped. I paid the meter before I left, not taking advantage of the free action, because we're for the good guys. Though, remembering what I did with Strange, I have some doubts... But this maniac asked for it, besides, he was not physically hurt, which can't be said about Bats' opponents. Ha-ha-ha, I'm just kindness and forgiveness itself! After all, if the doctor's illegal activities were revealed, he would have gone to jail, and so he will transfer some money to the victims and continue to help people.
***
As the fearful passengers left his transportation, Robert leaned back in the driver's seat, staring at the ceiling. Why was he being punished like this? Where had he sinned? Just a couple days ago he had to give rides to three villains, and now the Joker himself! Tomorrow he'll go to church and ask for absolution. No, he would go there right now and donate the money that the green-haired devil in human form had paid off.
With these thoughts, the hapless cab driver leisurely drove out of the parking lot, informing the dispatcher that his work was done for the day.
***
The station greeted us with unusual modern architecture, expressed in a completely glass ceiling. Somehow this place reminded us of the Antwerp train station in Belgium.
Nothing gothic... Surprising, even. Hmm, although those golden statues at the entrance look painfully pretentious. Our first point of departure was the luggage lockers, where I left my briefcase, deciding not to take it to Metropolis; it was a small risk, but I took precautions.
At the ticket booths there was a small hiccup connected with our personalities, only instead of the expected fear the reaction was strictly opposite, and we had to be photographed with annoying fans and groupies, who managed to appear among normal people, and not various rabble, for whom the Joker was a symbol... Though to call them normal or at least mentally healthy my tongue will not turn, since their idol is a former psychopathic maniac.
Oh, and this couple of girls look quite attractive and are clearly not averse to getting to know each other better, but dragging everyone into bed - well, such a fun. Besides, for them it's just an adventure to tickle their nerves, not something serious.
Still, I felt a kind of connection with Ivy. I'd only felt that way with Barbara, and I wasn't the only one. My gaze shifted to the happy Harley standing next to me, who was the center of attention with me.
"Mr. J, this is even cooler than the bank robbery. - The girl whispered, hanging around my neck.
"Ah ha ha, so that's great, but remember, we weren't officially there, and in fact neither you nor I are aware of any robberies. Boop. - I tapped the snub nose of a happy little cutie. - We have to go, or we'll miss the train and not have time to walk around before the show.
"Then what are we waiting for?
I looked ironically at the blonde, which was the reason we were in this situation in the first place, since I only needed a couple photos to create the right image, and then clapped my hands, drawing the crowd's attention.
"Just a couple of days ago my companion and I were considered super-criminals, guilty of almost all the troubles of the city, but, fortunately, the prosecutor was able to understand the situation and stop the lawlessness that lasted almost two years, for which I thank him very much. But I would also like to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart, because man is a social creature, and if you continued to see us as maniacs, unworthy of the life of normal people, we would not even be able to go out on the street or, for example, take tickets for the train. - A slight smile touched my lips. - Thank you so much for your support, it really means a lot. And now I would like to finish this sudden photo shoot and finally continue my journey.
Realizing that nothing more interesting was going to happen, the crowd began to slowly disperse, and the station guard, dissatisfied with the pandemonium, managed to break through to us.
Surprisingly, the security officers who arrived turned out to be reasonable people and kindly offered to take us to our transportation, although we had to pass our bags through the X-ray machine beforehand. Yes, we were acquitted, but our reputation was not the best.
Fortunately, I was prepared for this outcome, so I found out ahead of time what items could be carried. So a cane, which looked ordinary when scanned (thanks, Bats), and a bat were on the list of allowed items, and I even threw in a couple of baseballs and a glove for good measure. The main thing was to keep us from being searched ourselves, but that would require a better reason. No reason was found, and Harley and I eventually boarded the train that would soon take us to Metropolis.
***
"Ouch!" Landing on a seat in the practically empty car, the girl leaned sharply against my right side, feeling the prick of an object hidden in the inner pocket of my jacket. - Mr. J, did you bring a gun with you?
"Something much cooler... But hopefully it won't have to be used...
"Oh, and what is this?" She started groping her jacket, coming across a flat edge.
I approached Harley with a conspiratorial look and said in a completely serious tone.
"The secret.
"Beaver?" The girl said in the same serious tone.
"Pah-ha-ha-ha! No, not even close.
I spent part of the trip fighting off a Coasotka trying to find out the truth, and the rest of the way we played cities, and I want to say that my assistant is much better at it than Pamela.
***
Metropolis met us with the overcast weather I'd grown accustomed to in Gotham. Strangely enough, I had expected it to be sunnier and brighter when I came to this place, but no: it was the same metropolis, with people rushing around, wrapped in their fall clothes, trying to escape the biting wind.
Well, at least the local buildings are not decorated in a gothic style, subconsciously instilling fear.
"Where to now?" Harley was exuding tons of positivity as always, swiveling her head around looking for something interesting.
"We'll visit the symbol of this city, it must not be far away, and then we'll go to a cafe for hot chocolate. How's that for a plan?
"I'm in! I always knew you had a real talent for planning!" She stood on tiptoe and kissed me on the cheek.
After fifteen minutes of leisurely walking, during which I was glad that no one would recognize us, we found ourselves at a seven-meter statue depicting a superman standing on one knee, as if holding an invisible weight on his shoulders. It felt like it was supposed to hold the planet together, but the architect hadn't followed through.
"I thought the tights guy was the favorite around here. - Harley said, looking at the Metropolis symbol.
"I thought so too... - An uneasy feeling settled in my heart.
The monument was completely covered with offensive inscriptions, and right now a group of teenagers were doing their part in street art. The passersby walking down the street were completely oblivious to this blatant act of vandalism. We got a little closer, and I was surprised to see a police car parked across the street and the cops, who weren't going to stop the hooligans either, peacefully eating doughnuts and drinking coffee, successfully maintaining the image created by TV shows and movies.
My assistant noticed the unresponsive law enforcement officers and a flame of excitement lit up in her eyes.
"I want one too!
"Hmm... Nobody seems to give a shit, so I don't see any reason not to participate in this. - Looking at the enthusiastic blonde, it was impossible to keep moping. - Hey, guys, can I borrow your spray can?" I turned to the vandals.
"Huh, no expense spared for a good cause!" One of the guys threw the paint over to me.
This is all weird...
"Mr. J, help!
Had to climb up with the girl to help her reach the statue's forehead...
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
What can I say? Smart people think alike, and I can now brag that I helped draw a dick on Superman's forehead. Eh, kindergarten, but fun.
It's time to figure out what the hell is going on here.
Careful questioning of our new acquaintances after the return of the can revealed that it is still worth keeping a finger on the pulse of not only Gotham, but other major cities as well, so as not to miss anything important. Most recently, there was a hearing on Superman's activities. Senator Finch was able to hold the alien accountable, but the courtroom was infiltrated by a terrorist who blew up the Capitol, killing everyone but the Sunshine Boy*. Naturally, this was followed by a popular wave of anger that came crashing down on Supes.
In my opinion, people's reaction was relatively fair. Even reading the local notes, it was clear that the man in the tights was incredibly fast and could move, if not at the speed of light, then close to it, calmly circling the globe in less than a fraction of a second. So if he wanted to, he could have gotten everyone out of the building at the time of the explosion. Okay, let's be lenient, some people might have been killed by the shrapnel and flames, but the rest could have been saved! And that's not to mention his X-ray vision, with which he could have detected the explosives.
I don't know if it's worth remembering the comic book version where he managed to turn back time to save his lover. In this case, I think this ability would have come in handy.
In the end, he went from being a hero to being the object of everyone's hatred, culminating in this...
Looking up, I took another look at our joint creation, done in green paint.
"What's that?" The girl asked, pointing somewhere to the side. When I looked over there, I saw a towering white dome, which managed to get a little lost against the background of the surrounding skyscrapers.
"That's where the alien ship crashed. - One of the guys answered, continuing to draw graffiti. - I wouldn't recommend going in there. The guards there are brutal now, straight from LuthorCorp.
It reminds me of something, but despite my excellent memory, I can't remember. I think there were some fights between Supes and Mouse, but Bruce isn't an idiot to poke fun at a Kryptonian. Still, the threat from space is not illusory at all, as hinted at by the remains of the ship and partially destroyed Metropolis, and a man in tights is currently the most effective tool against all sorts of alien invaders. At least, I really hope for Bats's discretion.
Out of interest, we reached the art object, which looked more like an egg up close. The guards were indeed present, and armed, and not with some farts, as in Arkham asylum, but with real combat weapons, if we believe the opinion of an expert in the person of one cute blonde. After spending another half an hour admiring the local beauty, we visited a small cozy cafe and moved towards the hangar, where Zatanna was organizing a performance.
The building was on the outskirts of Metropolis, and we had to take public transportation. It wasn't the best choice, of course, but I had a fear of running into a jittery and impressionable driver who would want to call the police. It wouldn't be fatal, but it would be time-consuming, which I didn't want to do.
The impromptu parking lot at the hangar was full of private vehicles. Just as I thought: the sorceress's shows are obviously very popular. After showing our tickets to the big guard sitting at the entrance, with small horns sticking out of his hair and a ligature of symbols on his face, we got inside.
I wonder if it was some kind of demon, or was it dressed up for atmosphere? Hell, if it really is a demon, it's going to be very hard to get to its mistress without a backstage pass. And money won't help at all. Well, it will, but it'll cost you the whole lot. All right, I'll figure something out.
Inside the building there were several tiers of comfortable soft chairs, which, like rows in an auditorium, gradually descended, approaching the stage. Yes, if you didn't know that it was a hangar, this place could be mistaken for a concert hall.
We didn't have to wait long, soon the lights went out in the hall and the performance began.
*I know what the term means*
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