Chương 35: Chapter 35: Here Lies The Abyss Pt.2
"It won't be long now, I'll send the battering ram in within the hour to finish off the gate. Once engaged, it's hard to estimate how long before the men breach them. It could be a half-hour or could be several hours." Cullen looked up from his reports scattered all across the table in the Command Tent, "We'll have those doors open for you, Inquisitor." Evelyn was joined late the next afternoon by Leliana, Cassandra, and Rylen around the table finishing up their final meeting before the battle would commence.
"I shall ready my team. I want to be the first through the gate, Commander," she nodded resolutely crossing her arms.
He grumbled, probably expecting her to say as much, "Allow me to at least send an advance force in to assess the situation before you go in."
"We will act as your advanced force. If there are Grey Wardens who would surrender seeing Stroud and Blackwall, then we should give them every chance to do so. How many lives have already been wasted by Erimond?" She gave him a knowing look following her words in hopes he remembered last night's excursion to the mass grave.
His jaw flexed, "And what of your safety and health?" His stern gaze penetrated her as she choked out a badly timed cough, "There will be blood magic and arrows flying, not to mention demons everywhere. It will take time for the men to get a foothold atop the walls, leaving you at the mercy of the enemy. This is your first real fight since your injury, and I would advise you to not overdo it just walking through the door!"
She thought over his words, but they both knew she had made up her mind, "I need to speak to the Commander privately, leave us and prepare yourselves for battle."
They held each other in an intense glare until they were left alone. He was the first to speak, rounding the table to stand before her, "Andraste preserve me, Evelyn, see reason! You do not have to lead the army in such a manner. Our soldiers are with you, come what may!"
"It has nothing to do with that, and everything to do with saving as many lives as possible from needless death. Everything we do deals with it, and I'm about at capacity. Before you tell me that such is the price of war, remember that those men and women also swore an oath to give their lives in protection of Thedas as we have." Cullen seemed to have lost some of his temper at her words, "If there is a chance that the Wardens will see reason, we must take it, and who better to do it than members of their own order."
"And if they do not surrender? You know their mages are already lost."
"Then we do what needs to be done. I'm a trained Knight-Enchanter first and foremost. I'm an expert at killing demons and maleificar, there is no one better for you to send in first with them. If I wasn't the Inquisitor, it would be entirely senseless not to send me! I'm also a crazy fireball thrower with new abilities sprouting up every time someone pisses me off," she gave a halfhearted smirk not wanting to fight with him.
He frowned snapping back, "Yes, with a talent for finding trouble."
She shrugged it off casually, "I'm fairly certain that whole fortress is full of trouble already, so it makes no difference." He opened his mouth to argue again, but she wasn't having it, "Enough Cullen, I'm going to get my armor on and ready the others. You know I'll just do what I want anyway."
Anger welled up flushing his face with a tinge of red as he took a step closer to her lowering his voice to a growl, "Because you're too insufferably stubborn to listen to those who care about you!"
She stared into his hard amber eyes wanting to say the plethora of things that she was holding inside her since she resumed consciousness back at Skyhold. Now all of a sudden he decides to share his feelings, even if they were not as passionate as she hoped for. Evelyn was sick and tired of the false pretenses, and even though she loved him, he made her want to have them strap her into the sling of the battering ram and bang her head against the gate. Or she wanted to throw something at him, like his pile of reports, a chair… maybe herself. He was standing too close, causing her body to react traitorously as her eyes slid up and down his handsome face. Ignoring the emotions and the urge to ask if he saw the token she left him, she replied quietly, "I've given you my orders, Commander," holding his gaze for a moment before leaving quickly.
Needing to just be alone and calm down, Evelyn sat for some time observing the comings and goings of her companions, wishing them luck as they headed to their assignments. The Iron Bull had left with Sera and the Chargers for the Eastern Camp earlier in the day and she stopped in on the healers to see how they were faring with preparations to receive the wounded. A few cots had already been filled by messengers who got themselves within range of the enemy's arrows as they were running between camps. They would recover under the healing touch of Ilara, but the Inquisitor still left her well wishes with them before sharing a long hug with the Enchanter. Owayne and Cassandra were suspiciously absent as were the others, though the sounds coming from the surrounding tents indicated most were getting their last few winks of sleep in. With everything in order thanks to the Commander's tight planning and coordination, all there was to do was wait.
Cullen had done an incredible job, there was no doubt about it. The constant rhythm of the trebuchets launching missiles beat in the background like a steady war drum. The camp was a hive of activity, but the layout was designed with efficiency in mind allowing soldiers, wounded, and supplies to move to where they needed to be with as little traffic as possible. Even if they had been unconscious and distant for days, the hours and all-nighters she both heard and didn't hear of paid off. Though he had combat experience, his knowledge of battle came from his studies. The Commander had a mind for the coordination of the various elements of the battlefield. It was like a large chess board, and unbeknownst to his older sister Mia, she had been instrumental in preparing him, teaching him to anticipate his opponent's moves and counter them. Evelyn knew how important this was to him, especially after the defeat at Haven. There had been a chip on his shoulder ever since then, one that put a resolve of steel in his actions. His first command of a siege and battle was going to go his way, as his fingers rested on the pulse of the operation.
As she gazed at him across the camp pouring over the progress reports, a small warm smile settled on her face. "I've seen that look before," the Champion's voice startled her, "there were many who looked at him like that back in Kirkwall. Trust me, your attention is wasted there."
Evelyn quirked up an eyebrow at him, "I'm simply admiring all the hard work he has done for this mission. It is quite the feat."
He sat down on the log close beside her, so much so his every movement jostled her. He smelt of tobacco and spiced rum, but it wasn't a stale smell, but rather warm and comforting. "I'm curious to know if it was your order to give no quarter to the mages or his?"
"Mine."
He gave a huff, "I do not disagree with it, for I've seen my fair share of what blood magic used enthusiastically can do, but I expected that sort of order from the former Knight-Commander, not you."
By his feisty tone, she was unsure what he was getting at. "Those decisions rest with me, or did you forget that I'm a Knight-Enchanter."
"You mean a witch hunter," he whispered amused at his own words having successfully evaded members of her order for years. "I'm more surprised Rutherford takes his orders from a mage, given his hatred of them. I suppose he has no choice if he wants to keep his position. He's had plenty of practice schmoozing his superior in Kirkwall." Hawke turned to look at her for a reaction, but she endeavored to not react emotionally to his blatant attack.
She couldn't stop her jaw from clenching, not wanting to discuss such personal matters with him, "Cullen is not the same man he was in Kirkwall. In the end, he saw through Meredith's corruption and what it did to him. She fed him ridiculous amounts of lyrium to keep him compliant and used the horrors he had seen before transferring to manipulate him. The man you knew had desperately sought meaning and new purpose for his sacrifices for the Order, only to be further led down a path against everything he devoted his life to."
The Champion stared at her seemingly unconvinced, his black hair falling rebelliously from his forehead, "I grant you, he does seem more sedate here than back at the Gallows, but if you had known him as I had, you wouldn't be so easily fooled by his reprieve from "Knight-Commander Rutherford." He and I had many discussions over the years about mages rights and he was right at home with the Kirkwall Templars - especially Meredith. I had to hide the fact that I was a mage because he could not see us as people worthy of his time or understanding. We are an infection to him, breeding more pestilence every day." He spat at the ground looking into the fire. "I may have sided with him when the Qunari invaded and when Anders blew the Chantry to the Void, but it was for the good of the innocent people being slaughtered in the streets. From what I saw, Meredith didn't have to do much to convince him to follow her orders like the faithful Mabari he was to her."
Evelyn looked back to where Cullen had been standing, but he was gone, so she turned her head to face Hawke. "May I ask what the Void brought all this on?" He shifted studying her face closely, "I mean really Hawke, what the fuck?"
"You and I spent weeks together out in the Western Approach, and never once had you acted so," he paused searching for the correct word, "careful. I've seen you pay closer attention to his every reaction as if he were a primed gattlok bomb about to explode. The Order is not your master any longer. Do not let his command of this mission make you think otherwise."
She balked baffled by his observation, then narrowed her eyes at him, "I assure you it has nothing to do with that."
"Well, he sure as hell wouldn't see a mage as anything but an abomination, which gets back to my original point, don't waste your time with Rutherford."
She rolled her eyes, "And you'd be wasting your time with me."
He chuckled looking away and she eyed his untamed beard. He truly had a rough look to him, seeming like he'd be more at home in a port town than in their current setting. Pivoting to meet her stare, she was hit by his smoky and spicy scent again, "We're mages and powerful ones, and that's not just because of our magic. You never know when the Chantry is going to decide we no longer fit their narrative. We should take pleasure where we can find it." His finger tugged at a loose strand of her hair, trailing it down her face to hook her chin. "It's just a bit of fun, something Rutherford wouldn't know the first thing about," he smirked a bit with a wink.
She was about to retort, when a voice from close behind interrupted them, "Hawke," both turned to look at the Commander's scowl. He didn't say more - he didn't need to - simply placing a hand to rest on the pommel of his sword.
Garret gave a sly chuckle, "I see you're still keeping a watchful eye on your charges, Knight-Commander." The two of them slowly stood from the log, though the Champion stepped up into Cullen's face, losing some of his humor.
"I was simply walking by and heard my mention, it's not my fault if you can't keep your mouth in check. Never could, in fact," the Commander's tone was one she had heard when disciplining the soldiers. Unsure as to whether she should interfere, she stood back observing for now. Cullen held his ground glowering down at the man before him, "If you have an issue with me or my command, be a man and speak with me first. You can't hide behind Aveline here."
"I'm not one of your soldiers…"
The Inquisitor butted in before he raised his voice any louder, pushing both of them a few inches back from each other. She addressed Hawke first, "No, you're not one of his soldiers, but an ally. I have no issue with the way Cullen commands my army, and since as you say you're not part of it, then no one fucking cares what you think." Despite the chastisement, Hawke stared at her unaffected. Spinning to now address her senior council member, his amber eyes only flickered to her briefly before locking back on to the Champion's. "And you, Commander, I trust not to cause an incident with our ally with a battle before us." When he didn't say anything or look at her, she added, "Understood?" After the blonde verbally consented to her order, she dismissed them both sternly out of her presence.
Sitting back down, she absently fingered the scar on her cheek wondering just what Hawke's game was. As he went to armor up, he pinned up the flaps of his tent. When he took his shirt off and made a point to catch her eye, she faced away from him chuckling pitifully at his persistence. For the time being, Cullen had his back to the camp speaking to a messenger who ran into the Command Tent, but if he saw Hawke's strutting, she could only imagine the shade of red his cheeks would take on. The three weeks they spent in the Western Approach had been light and full of sarcastic joking; Could he have taken it as flirting? Surely, Varric knew better, and yet even if Hawke had heard rumors of something between her and Cullen, he didn't seem like the type of man who cared. He was a bundle of contradictions, both rational and unpredictable. In battle he was fierce, fighting as if each skirmish was his last. The magic he wielded was questionable, as were the origins of where he had learned it, but she dismissed it because, well, he was the Champion of Kirkwall - a hero.
Garret had also lived as an apostate, unknowing of what life was like in the Circle. To him, it was a simple matter of viewing Templars as the jailers and mages as their prisoners. Yet, it was so much more complicated than that, something people who had never spent time in a Circle couldn't understand. Part of her fumed thinking that he thought she was being submissive to Cullen when she was simply trying to not 'distract' him from their mission with the mess that was their relationship. Of course, she wouldn't disclose that to Hawke, but if he persisted in his advances, she may have no choice without insulting an ally as she just scolded the Commander for doing. Yet, she didn't want to give Cullen any reason to doubt her faithfulness, wanting to still gain back his trust.
"Evelyn?" The Seeker's hand on her shoulder broke her from brooding. "Come, the Commander sent the battering ram to the gate. We need to prepare." Standing and doing as she bid, she sighed trying to refocus on what was to come. "What is Hawke doing?"
Evelyn turned to look back over, he was leaning against the tent's center post eating an apple - shirtless - watching them. The Inquisitor huffed, "You don't want to know." Leading her tentmate with a gentle push into their quarters, she tied the flaps closed for privacy.
"Why don't I want to know?" Cassandra was now suspicious.
"I'm fairly certain he's trying to bed me."
The Seeker made a sound as if she choked on her spit, "What?!"
"Shh," she stepped closer to her friend staring at her incredulously, "he was rather forward about it and somehow managed to insult Cullen in the process, who overheard, and I just had to separate the two of them before they began butting heads like two rams."
"So, that's why he was outside… shirtless?" she pointed in the direction of Hawke's tent. Nodding together in understanding, she added, "I wouldn't trust him, Evelyn. He may be the Champion, but from what I uncovered about him during my time in Kirkwall, he lives to dance on the line of good versus bad. He's Varric's best friend after all, that alone should make you wary."
Her eyes widened, whispering harshly, "How could you-- I wasn't even thinking of entertaining the notion! My issue is that Cullen may think I am."
The Nevarran tilted her head, taken back, "Surely, not. He would know how absurd it is."
Having had her armor layers laid out on the bed, the Phoenix began to undress, "I don't know what he thinks anymore. I do know that Hawke isn't helping. If Cullen says anything to you, you'll tell me, won't you?"
"Of course, and I'll certainly tell him it's ridiculous."
Out of the corner of her eye, she immediately noticed a token of affection tied on Cassandra's arm which she knew to be Owayne's handkerchief. "You really do like him, don't you?" The Seeker turned her head back at her while lacing up her vambraces. Nodding to the favor on her bicep, "My brother. I can hardly get you to myself anymore."
Facing away she took a deep breath before answering, "I think I do."
"You think? What exactly do you think you like about him?"
"I suppose… I enjoy his humor and his different perspective. I had no idea that he was so intelligent or pious until I stopped and actually listened to what he was saying… outside of all the cursing and sarcasm." Evelyn couldn't help but laugh to herself at the description. "The heavy drinking is… a bit much at times, but it only makes him emotionally more… endearing." It was true, at least when he was sauced he was an affectionate drunk.
"I hope you have no notion he'll give that up."
"I have no desire to change him, for I don't believe things will ever go that far." She turned around with a sour look on her face, "I don't mean… I didn't--" Besides struggling with her words, she was also fighting with her armor strap. The thought of either of them getting married struck her as odd, let alone being wed to each other.
"It's alright, Cassandra. I didn't mean to put you on the spot. What happens between you and Owayne is your business, though I will say it again, I do believe you are good for him." Her new dragon bone armor was surprisingly easy to put on without help - just the way she liked it. Having finished she did her final checks to make sure she had everything tightened comfortably.
With a huff, the Seeker's shoulders slumped in frustration still fussing with the stubborn strap. Seeing this, her bunkmate strode overtaking the leather and buckles away from her gingerly, "This fucking thing--"
"Whoa," Evelyn chuckled, "you may be a good influence on him but I'm not sure his mouth is beneficial for you."
"His mouth? And what of yours? I'm getting twice as much Trevelyan influence now." Evelyn was laughing harder now, grateful for the distraction. When she finished, the two women's eyes met, "That armor on you is truly beautiful," the look in Nevarran's eyes was sobering as the gravity of the situation began to press down upon them. It was in these moments with her friends that she felt the burden of the Inquisition was shared.
"You think it'll inspire our soldiers? Do I look like I belong leading them?" The Phoenix turned and spun as if wearing a ballgown. "Andraste's pyre, we are attacking the Grey Wardens."
"Evelyn," she grasped her shoulders, "you are and have been leading them, and they do not hesitate to follow you. I know I do not question your ability. Do not allow doubt to haunt you."
Sharing a heartfelt smile, she said quietly, "I'd hug you, but with all these feathers I'm afraid I'd scratch up the polished shine on your armor. And I remember what you did to Varric when he jokingly said he dinged your armor with Bianca…"
The Seeker snorted a laugh, "Perhaps when we are back here after the mission then we can embrace in victory, my friend."
"Deal."
With another look up and down, brushing off her shoulders, she gave Evelyn a resolute look, "Now, let's show everyone what a true Phoenix looks like."
***
Atop a platform he had constructed to see out over the battlefield, Cullen watched as his plan proceeded without any undue surprises. The various elements were in place and the gates were almost open - at least he hoped. The night sky was clear only dotted by the clouds from the smoke of their fires. The sappers on the battering ram had been at it for a while now and would soon tire. He had another crew ready, but switching them out put the men in danger - which is also why he had assigned at least three more men to the relief team, expecting to lose at least that many. Their swings were still strong, but even so, to let up the assault was to give the enemy time to reinforce the gate. They couldn't afford any more delays as the men were as eager to begin the assault as he was. The trebuchets that had been focused on the gate were now turned to the walls of Adamant as planned. The initial bloodletting that the gate would provide distraction enough for Henley and his men to take the ramparts beside the gate, while the siege engines made two more points of entry for the army.
When a hush fell over the rowdy soldiers around him, he turned to witness what had them so enraptured. Striding confidently through the parting army was the Inquisitor in a set of beautiful armor glinting in the moonlight. At first, he thought it was made of pure gold, but it gave off an off-colored sheen when she passed the men's torches, like oil on water. As she approached him, he knew it now to be dragon bone forged masterfully to look like a great bird-- a Phoenix. Sharp feathers decorated her shoulders but grew into scale-like chainmail in other places so as not to compromise its utility. He couldn't help but stare in awe at the resplendent figurehead of the Inquisition feeling the adrenaline pumping through him to fight for their cause - and for her. For a moment, as her eyes were set on him even with the scene unfolding around them, that same warmth spread through him as if he were the only man in the world.
Holding her stylized avian-themed helmet under her arm, she traipsed up the platform steps to him with a serene mask of calm in the face of the storm ahead, "Commander, how fares our men at the gate?" Her voice was strong and steady as she peered out over the masses before her towards the soldiers in question.
Never had he ever felt more at one with the title 'Commander' as he did in this instant. "Inquisitor," he said with a respectful bow aware of all the eyes on them. He switched his helm to the opposite arm as his armor and weapons chimed as they met, "They've been at it for half an hour under extreme duress. I'm considering switching the men out, for I'm not sure how effective they are after all this time. It seems Adamant is living up to its namesake." She nodded and he added quietly, "As, by the look of it, you are."
He watched from the corner of his eye as her lip twitched up for but a second. "A gift from my father," she whispered back, not looking at him, but she didn't need to explain for him to understand the significance of the words.
"It suits you."
"As does yours, Rutherford," she said flicking her head down to his lion helm. It struck him suddenly how much he missed the way she said his name, unable to bite his cheek in time to quell a smirk that she satisfyingly caught. He was pleased that she wasn't holding a grudge against him after eavesdropping on her conversation with Hawke earlier.
Cullen didn't like how forward he was being with her of late, and his jealousy may have gotten the better of him after all the time they had been spending together having left his work to find out what they were speaking of. He was glad he did too, even if Evelyn didn't seem to be buying into Hawke's charms, he needed them to know that whatever was transpiring between them had not gone unseen. There had been no time to speak privately about it with Evelyn, it being exactly the kind of distraction he didn't need, but the more he saw them together, the more the uneasiness festered within him. Cullen knew what kind of man Hawke was, and while he knew Evelyn had experienced such men in her past, she didn't have to suffer through his attention now. If it meant revealing to Garret that there was indeed something between the Inquisitor and himself, so be it. For the many things Hawke was, he was no gossip, only caring about his own affairs.
A loud resounding crack from the gate of Adamant helped push such thought back to deal with the present. Having finished their discreet and private conversation she turned to face him, clearing her throat, "My team and I are ready. We will await your signal at the front."
"I shall accompany you there." With a surprised nod, he led Evelyn and her companions through the center of the main force. Upon reaching the active warzone where the enemies could potentially hit them with projectiles, he donned his lion helm encouraging them to do the same.
"What a shame, it seems I left my animal helmet at home," Dorian commented from the back as Cullen and the Phoenix looked back at him before meeting each other's gaze. She rolled her eyes before looking forward as the Altus continued, who was now looking the Seeker next to him up and down, "I'm thinking a bear."
Cassandra grunted, "For you?"
"No, you dear. Since all you like to do is charge and hit things and most of the time you embody the attitude of one." Dorian flashed her a provoking smile, "What? I don't think I've ever seen you more than ten feet from a training dummy at Skyhold. Until Lord Trevelyan came along, I honestly thought you were in love with one of them."
Cullen chanced a look at Evelyn who was looking up to the heavens mouthing a prayer to the Maker. "Are they always like this during missions," he whispered over. The Inquisitor gave a weary sigh and nod in answer.
Cassandra wasn't finished with the mage yet, her voice becoming venomous, "And you'd be a peacock, Dorian. A ridiculously decorated bird who screeches most annoyingly for attention, as if people wanted to hear you--"
Evelyn cut her off in good humor, "Enough you two, save it for the demons."
"Thank you, Inquisitor, I'd be afraid of what he'd say about the rest of us," Blackwall commented.
Dorian balked, "Afraid? I assure you I had a wonderfully splendid, and accurate, one chosen for you."
"Perhaps, when you stop referring to me as the 'hairy lummox' I'll believe you."
"Really? When did I do that?"
The bearded Warden sighed recalling the last few instances, "In the last week… the tavern, the Smithee, to the servants, you even said it to the gate guards as we left Skyhold."
"That does sound like me." Dorian shrugged unaffected.
As they passed through the last of the men to the front, the Inquisitor nodded to the soldiers resolutely. "Dorian, barrier please!" Complying, he threw a barrier around them as a precaution as they inspected the men on the battering ram. The Commander shook his head, explaining to the Inquisitor the reason why he was refraining from switching the crews just yet. She nodded in understanding, but he could tell her mind was conjuring a plan.
Placing a hand gently on him, she yelled over the cacophony of the battlefield, "Keep the others here, I'll be back!"
"No, Inquisitor!" Before he could stop her, she was already gone, having materialized into a puff of ethereal smoke.
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