Chương 37: Asuna's story
Part 1 - The pleasant pain
Early in the morning, snow began to fall, which made me hurry. Asuna's house was about 40 minutes walk from mine, so I took the opportunity to hurry up, the pain of my wound had started to be a bit unpleasant, but I had to get used to it, especially because I haven't given it the rest it should.
How our lives had changed so much, I just wanted to be able to live a quiet life with Aki, my friends and Emi.... Everything went down the drain.
Without realizing it I already had my fingers on my lip, there was something that bothered me a lot because I didn't understand it, my feelings for both Aki and Emi haven't changed at all, Aki is my girlfriend, I love her in a way that I think it shouldn't be normal, and Emi I love her as the sister that raised me, as a friend, advisor and mother, but why I liked that kiss so much, maybe I'm also wrong, like Emi... no matter how much I ask myself I don't love her the way I do with Akari, but that kiss, I can't even be clear about what I feel... damn.
With all the mental mess, without realizing I had passed a block away from Emi's house, even the snow that was falling from the sky was much denser, my hair and shoulders were wet.
As Mr. Marías had told me on the phone, the kitchen door was open, I knew Asuna's house quite well, it was only one floor, but it was big compared to the normal houses in the city, I approached her room, in the corridor there was always a picture that gave me something, I don't know why, but it was a picture of Asuna with her father at the lake, but the picture was cut, you could see the woman's dress, but what gave me something, was that she had cut it with her hand, as if it had been done in anger.
-Who's there? Dad? - Asuna said behind the door in a despondent voice.
-Asuna, it's me Hikaru, your dad left the kitchen door open for me to visit you.
-Hikaru, Akari, thanks for coming, but I'm sorry, go away, I need to be alone....
I imagined in a way this reaction, maybe we didn't get Asuna to see blood thanks to Marcus, but I knew that Matsuo had died.
-Asuna, I came alone without Aki, I want to talk to my friend, how are you?
-You came alone... I'm fine, really, but I want to be alone, we can talk another day Hikaru, he doesn't want anyone to see me.
-If that's the problem, we can talk from here, we don't need to see each other.
I sat on the floor leaning my back against the door of Asuna's room, I didn't hear any words from her.
-Bunny, I want you to know that none of what happened is your fault, not even Colmillos', he saved our lives... it was my fault because I didn't know what to do...
Even if I couldn't see her I was sure that Asuna was in her bed in a corner, I never knew why, but whenever she was overcome by something she always looked for a corner or a small place to protect herself.
-Yes, I know it's not my fault.... neither you nor anyone else, not even the handsome boy... I was just useless, I failed them Hikaru.
I admit that I just want to confront her for hiding from us that she knew about Akari, but I couldn't do it, as disappointed as I felt with her, it hurt me to know that it was wrong.
-What are you saying fool, you didn't fail anyone, you even protected me twice against Matsuo when I couldn't do anything against him, I'm the one who was useless, even a fool for risking you all, I just thought that if we were all together we could achieve whatever we wanted, but I was wrong.
Part 2 - The Rabbit Hole
-And then they say that I'm the innocent one... it's a nice way of thinking, but the truth of the matter is that reality differs a lot from what we think, Hikaru.
Asuna opened the door without me feeling that she was approaching her, inevitably I fell backwards, curiously Asuna was wearing a full body black bunny pajamas, the pajamas accentuated Asuna's curves very well, even made her voluptuous chest look bigger than it was, something that was impossible for me to believe.
I got up so as not to look like a fool, Asuna turned around and went back to bed, the room was a mess, there were clothes everywhere, as soon as I took a few steps I stepped on a giant E cup bra, which made me blush.
There were also empty glasses and plates on her bedside table, I even found an extra giant packet of nachos with half eaten cheese powder.
-Sit in my chair, it's comfortable.
Asuna's eyes were a bit puffy, plus the dark circles under her eyes were almost purple.
I sat down where she told me to, now finding myself with another bra and panties.
-There are interim clothes of yours on the chair Asuna.
-They're the ones I wore last night, just take them and leave them where you want them.
Embarrassed and barely touching them with my fingertips I left her underwear on the table, if she hadn't told me she had used them I wouldn't have been so fussy.
Finally I sat down, I realized that I was watching a movie, I recognized it, it was the famous movie of the 60's The Ghost Riders, it was one of my favourite movies.
-I'm going to be straightforward Asuna... How can I help you?
-Being my boyfriend, I'm sure that would cheer me up.
-You know I can't do, that, anything else?
-I don't think you can do anything Hikaru, being my boyfriend this time I meant it as a joke, it still hurts to be rejected, but I know you Hikaru, I can believe you came to know how I am, but you've been wearing that grumpy face since you came in, so mister hate why did you bother to come?
-Asuna, I really came for you, to know how you are, I plan to leave the other conversation for when you're better from Matsuo.
The mere mention of the teacher gave her a shiver.
-I didn't do it, I didn't do anything. - She screamed.
Asuna even clutched her head.
-Bunny, calm down, I know you didn't do it, that was Colmillos.
-I'm sorry, ignore that, go ahead Hikaru, what are you really here for. - she said, half out of breath.
Asuna's face was a bundle of Anxiety, even her eye was twitching.
-Asuna, you knew everything from the beginning, didn't you, I mean about Aki, curiously you told us about the necklace and the dagger and it turns out that your crazy theories turned out to be true, don't you think it's too much of a coincidence.
-Do you think I killed her, or that I had something to do with it?
-I thought so at first, but I'm sure, if that's what it was, it wouldn't have helped us, and I refuse to believe that you...
-Hiakru, open the drawer of my chest of drawers... that's where you'll find the answer.
I listened to him, I opened the drawer and inside the mess there was a pill box.
-Do you know what it is, Hikaru?
-No, Asuna, I really have no idea.
-They are mental health pills.
When she told me that, I blanked out.
-That's right Hikaru, what everyone at the academy said about me being the weird one, a crazy one, well that's what I am," she said with a lot of pain.
-Asuna, for me you will never be that, I can say that sometimes you are detracted, clumsy, and a bit childish, but that's what I like about you, those pills don't change anything for me, besides, I don't know what it has to do with what I asked you?
-I'm not going to tell you everything because I don't want to remember it, so listen well, when I was a child I had to go to a psychiatrist because I supposedly had an attack of psychosis....
Asuna had a hard time speaking.
-Asuna found it hard to speak.
I lay down next to her to hug her, she went on with her crying.
-I don't even remember very well what happened, but mine came out of trauma, I've never had an episode like that again in my life, so I ask you not to think that I'm crazy, because I'm not.
-I told you, I never thought that, and I don't think that now either.
-I was prescribed these pills to calm me down every time I get my period... what I mean is that on one of my trips to visit my doctor, I got lost in the hospital... I saw a lot of things that I can't explain, but that's when I saw a real ghost for the first time in my life, it was incredible. there I saw many things that I can't explain, but it was when I saw a real ghost for the first time in my life, it was incredible, as a child I was excited, I managed to read something in a computer, in it you want project Spectre, the information narrated that they needed a dagger and a necklace to be able to see them, just like in those two movies, but I saw the ghost without anything of what it said there, nobody had noticed me until then, I continued seeing a little more that strange place... the last thing I remember was seeing a woman with white gown. Put her to sleep, she said.
Asuna had stretched out her hand as if she was really seeing her.
-Of course no one believed me, well my dad did, so we changed cities and came to live in Arekkaido, then I continued my treatment here, that's the story of Asuna the madwoman.
I grabbed Asuna's outstretched hand.
Forgive me, I... I'm a bad friend, I thought you betrayed us, I was furious, even Aki didn't want to believe in what I thought, she trusts you, but I... lately I've been acting like a good-for-nothing jerk.
-You're good at something Hikaru, but you never realise it, you make the people around you happy.
-That's not true, the only thing I've been able to do lately is to get into fights with Aki on several occasions, even with Emi, and I distrust you, I don't feel like I'm someone who can make people happy.
-You make me happy, I'm sure you make Aki and Emi happy too... silly, I told you my whole story and you didn't doubt anything I said.
Asuna hugged me very tightly by the neck, I did the same.
-Hikaru, why don't you come with me to watch the movie, and then we'll continue this conversation.
-As you wish, Bunny.
-Shiii... I wanted to lean on you, but I'll hurt you... Come on, you lean on me... it's no problem if you want to do it on my chest or on my shoulder, I'll let you choose.
Asuna was back to the same girl I knew, though she was trying hard.
I leaned on her shoulder, while draping my arm over hers.
-Boring.
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