At first, when I was with Old Man Wang Hun, the pain was indeed unbearable. I'd get beaten at almost any provocation, and back then, it was truly excruciating; I felt like I couldn't last until the end yet I dared not die.
If I died...
I would vanish completely.
The hard-earned time I had scraped together would become utterly meaningless.
But later, I also learned how to take fewer beatings. The reason I didn't want to die initially was straightforward: I hadn't lived enough. I had plenty of friends, a lover, and family.
Latterly, it wasn't about whether I wanted to die or not, but rather that somehow I could always survive...
"Xiao Bai, do you still love me?"
I looked up at Ninth Master Chang. Its eyes were filled with sorrow, like a wounded child. My hand gently caressed its face, hoping to cheer it up, wanting to soothe its sad emotions.
But I didn't know what to say. Happiness, affection, love, friendship, for three years, all stuffed into the corners of my heart...