Chương 69: 29. The Actor.
I cooked and stocked up for the next two weeks because I wasn't one of the horny ones. Of breeding ones. I did not want to breed. My alpha female still mourned her cubs. I had not dealt with that year at all. There were so many times that I would need to get my mind in place and damon did not want me. I was just necessarily evil for him to have perfect litters with Mariella. Not with me.
I decided that this time would not be the same as last time.
I told Damon. "Fine, you keep your lust, platinize my liver, but I'm not coming to the island. It's a reaction to the horniness of that hyper feeling, and I don't want to lie sedated for weeks. You know what's going around in my head. I am fucking a broken mess still. Don't expect me to be fine after that year."
Damon was silent, looked at me, really looked at me, like he would now see the impact of that year in my face, and then he spoke.
"Fine, I won't platinize yet. I'll get you an enzyme transplant and see if that helps. But if it doesn't help Mimi, then you come to the island, and I'll keep you sedated from the start if you start fighting back. If this pack wants to breed, you need enzymes, and at those levels, no one is going to get any heat."
His voice was now a little impatient, as I was standing between him and his perfect litters with Mariella,
"Surely you realize that when we had a breeding season, from now on everyone will be in heat together. So if you don't get in heat, no one else will either. And why it's not a good thing is that, you are now breeding females and hormones are needed, all over the place. If you don't get horny, then your body starts to suffer from it. Do you understand? It will get easier with time, but in the beginning, it's important to get your heat right and reproduce."
I nodded and said, "Okay, let's hope the transplant helps. You know that I won't breed. I can make you pheromones but I won't breed. My body is not ready for it, my alpha female refuses, and all of my cats are still deeply shocked by your behavior."
He looked at me and then turned around, walked away, saying a word. I had no idea what he expected me to be, a robot with no feelings, with no percussions of that awful, traumatizing year.
I then went to the medbay when Damon told me to. He had already gone there half an hour earlier. I lay on my back on the patient bed while Damon went to get some enzymes from under Shadow. Shadow was an herb wolf, meaning she could talk to plants, and she had her herb power, but she was also an enzyme wolf. She could sense enzymes as if they were living creatures. She was worried about these enzymes as they were so lazy and not very lively, so they would not hold on.
Damon came to me and felt my liver for a while and then injected the enzymes inside. He used a numbing energy, so that didn't feel like anything.
He said, "We'll see in a couple of days. As I said, I've never before collected the enzymes, and Shadow said these are in pretty awful shape, so it might be Mimi that you get platinum in your liver. "
He was very clinical with his grips and put his junk in the trash, then made sure that Shadow had left.
He sat down in a chair and said, " You know, we need to talk about what happened. I know I can never get it fixed, but baby, come on. You gotta give us another chance. I've learned my lesson, believe me, and I'd like nothing more than to go back and fix everything and stop it. I know I'm strong, but I'm not that strong yet."
He looked me fiercely in the eye.
As if expecting something, I knew I didn't want to give it and I wasn't going to. The experience, the whole fucking year, was the worst thing that had ever happened to me, and the worst part was exactly when I realized Damon was really never going to trust me, understand me, believe me.
I looked at Damon, and I said, "What happened changed everything, absolutely everything, and I'm not going back, and I can't go back to what I was. I'm not going to talk about this with you anymore. I'm not going to have any other relationship than what the alpha female requires. I will not give us another chance because we never existed in the first place. It's just your imagination of what we are." My voice was quiet and somber, it was time to get this out in the open.
"I am not Mariella and never will be, and everyone in this pack knows Mariella is the one you want. Not me. I'm going to be on my own or with Adam and Charles if they dare be with me now, but with you. I will not be. My alpha female is mourning those cubs that were killed. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? I hated those. They were like maggots inside me. Still, part of me is very sad because she lost them. No one trusts me in this pack, not when you have the nifty ability to look into the past and check my story out. I have no idea what had brought this on me, this mistrust, but it is still there."
I got up and walked away. Sometimes, it was my turn to do it.
I had changed so much since that experience, and I had a protective shell and a new attitude. I could breed in my time, not just yet, and be in a brood and everything, but no emotions would be involved. None whatsoever. It's all very well to beg and plead now, but after years of being told that I was married to a strong fucking telepath, it's strange that the lazy bastard didn't bother to look at my head. Damien enjoyed it. He told me how lazy Damon was. How Damon always trusts the facts. That's why Damon won't even look at my memories when he's seen everything in the past.
Damon had heard it. They were no more and maybe Mimi was right. Maybe they had never been, and it had all been just his hopes. He had made too many fucking grave mistakes and why did he even assume that Mimi would even consider taking him back? When there was nothing to return. Damon went to Mariella, who was making dinner. He leaned against the wall and watched as his lovely wife pondered a recipe and examined the spices, clearly thinking about something.
Damon said softly, " Use curry. It works better and doesn't fuck as much."
Mariella turned around, and he smiled. Then she looked at Damon's expression and thought, why on earth is Damon somehow all sad? Oh, Mimi has been at it again. Well, it doesn't matter so much. They had each other and maybe damon should keep his distance from her. She is not gonna be part of the breeding because her enzymes and hormones are too low, but they need pheromones from her for them to breed. Damon had told her he had snapped at Mimi badly after the breeding season and she had had it. She had gone away, so they had toured then as a pack when Mimi had wanted to herself and not in the pack.
Mariella came and wrapped herself around Damon. She said, "Damon, yes, I know, believe me. I bet you were trying to get you two to work things out, and the lady wasn't in the mood. It'll all work out one day. I got you, always and forever. Never forget that, my love. Don't you worry about it? Have you ever wondered why we don't get horny?"
Damon sighed and said, "Mimi, you see, I didn't remember right away that you guys get in sync. So everyone is getting off at the same time, and Mimi has to be there. But her enzymes are so damn low, and the ones I recovered that day are in awful shape, according to Shadow. It's probably platinization of the liver and, in good luck, again sedation forced. And that will improve our relationship so damn much. Her hormones are too low for her to breed, so I won't take her into breeding, but we need her pheromones and it again feels so damn nasty to put her through that platinization just us to get fucking and breeding. While she is unable to do so."
Mariella looked at Damon and said, "Oh, it's that bad. Well, what choice do we have? It is not fair, but it is a must. "
Damon thought for a moment and said, "We'll go to the island, and I'll stuff you three with as much horny stuff as I can find. Mimi will be in a platinization treatment at the same time, and as soon as her enzymes start to spike, she'll probably release a pheromone, which will drive you all into heat."
Mariella gave her husband a provocative look and then took him to bed with her. There would be no need for lust time yet. She fought well so that Damon could dominate, take, and subdue her. She got Damon in such a wild mood that he teleported them to a Texas castle for a basement session with the Master. Damon was not interested in Mimi this way, and Mariella was just super happy. She did not mind if she had robbed this side of Damon from Mimi. Damon was hers. All of him.
I looked at Charles and said, " Sorry about the whole fucking wildcat thing. I didn't mean to tear you apart. But I have one thing in my mind and it is not easy to explain, and I am not sure if you are up to it. It would require you and possibly Adam to get rough with me. But now, my sweet husband, would you dare to join me in the sauna? Because I'm going to the spa department, and I'm going to put the sauna on?"
Charles grunted and came right up to me. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, " Are you going to be a naughty little bitch or what? Rough, you say, careful little girl, I can be rough. "
Then his hands started to roam all over my body, already making me pretty excited. I started panting, even though he hadn't even put any fingers in my cunt yet.
He looked at me and said, " Let's see if I want to come to the sauna, little bitch?"
Then he walked away like a panther. I admired him uninhibitedly the whole way I watched him walk.
I went to turn on the sauna and then changed into a bathrobe in one bedroom, brushed my hair, and was happy with it, though I might change my hair color at some point. Then I went to the spa and ran myself a warm, relaxing bath. Somehow, I knew Charles or Adam weren't coming over; the wildcat chased them away, and the wolves took over again. It was not yet time to test my theory out, but time would come and I hoped that I could get it on.
I didn't mind. I had been treating myself now and then and teaching my body to enjoy touch again, even if it wasn't easy. I do remember my first week when I woke up at 25 kilos, suffering but with the will to keep going. Colin helped, he helped a lot, and he was very protective over me, and I knew he would never tell anyone about that.
I haven't slept much since then. With a strong fucking will, an insanely hard rage that grew tenfold after that year, and a decent amount of chaos power, what more do you need? I knew that even if I'd stayed and given the most nurturing and coddling, I would have been left so broken and destroyed. I wouldn't have been anywhere near the same, and I knew I was supposed to be strong.
I'd also done a lot of flea work. Damon's little fusion didn't work out, so I got to fix that, too, in the process, but it was a fucking delightful distraction and a way to get myself together. I had been busy that month and I would have time on my hands again once the heat got on.
The spa experience was lovely. As I knew, no one came, and Charles said in my head that the wolves were luring. I didn't bother to tell you that I knew he was lying because I had just been talking to Mimosa, who had gone off with Shadow into the woods.
Yes, I understand that the wildcat is not an enjoyable experience, and I don't bring it up because of that, but Charles and Adam know how to call my wildcat out and then suffer. It was their own fault, but I did not remind them of it. All it takes is a few good bites in my neck tendon, to get Wildcat out. And she is wild then.
I then went to my bedroom to watch TV and have a treat. To play a cannon game. There can be many players in that game, and the principle is to destroy the other's cannon. Whoever is left with a leftover is the winner. I had put some cannons under my name, including Damon, Adam, Charles, Mimosa, Mariella, and Shadow. Then, I always looked at who was killing who. Somehow, I focused on destroying Damon's tanks first always.
I went on with my life. I did quite a lot of flea work, rested, ate, and made up a few rooms, the power was still inside me, making me kind of restless. I did not pay much attention to this pack unless there was a crisis or some other mess. Damon came in a week later and felt me out.
He looked at me dead serious and said, "No enzymes. I can take the tests if you want. Sorry, Mimi. We have to platinize and go to the island. There, you'll get the Platinum, and I'll try to make you tolerable. I won't say comfortable because I know that lying in pain is not comfortable, but I'll try to keep the nightmares and other memories from tormenting you too much."
I was silent for a moment and then said quietly, "Fine, there's nothing. Everything is put away as tightly as it can be. They are in a place where you have no access. They are my burden to bear. By the way, Colin knows, he helped me get better, operated on my fangs, and such. He keeps his mouth shut, but he is no fan of yours."
He sighed and said, "Believe me, if there was any other way. But we need the heat, and when you start to get enzymes, you will release a pheromone that will make the others go horny. I trust Colin and I can understand his attitude towards me. "
I nodded and headed downstairs to wait for the transition.
Damon went over to Mariella and said, " No enzymes. I hate to do this, but when I know there's no other way. I just wish we could keep enough sense in our heads to check in on her occasionally. But we tend to forget things like that, or at least I do."
Mariella looked Damon in the eye and kissed him greedily. She was not too worried. She wanted to heat, to breed, to enjoy her time with Damon.
She said, " You do what you have to do for the pack, for the well-being of us all. I know it's not fun, and when you want to make things right between you and her, you always have to do stuff like this."
Damon led Mariella downstairs, where the entire pack had gathered.
Then everyone was ready; this time, it would be one of the main islands. Everyone teleported in with the help of the men and went to explore the house when Damon spoke to me.
His voice was clinical once again. "Mimi, come on and let's complete this as quickly as possible. "
I nodded and followed.
We went to the medbay, and Damon said, "I'll give you the platinum here, and on the other side of the island, there's a little hut where you are; the wind will bring your pheromones to us when your enzymes start to go crazy. Let's see if we get this right this time. "
I mentally snickered.
It won't work, but what will I do with them when they don't believe me? I went to the patient's bed and took another pretty damn big dose of platinum directly into my liver and its surroundings. Then I got up and didn't notice Damon kicking me in that poor liver. I blacked out from the pain.
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