Chương 956: 26
Akeno was light in my arms as I walked back to my home. Once she was safe from her pursuers again, the stress of her situation got to her and she passed out. I'm somewhat glad of that because the silence was comforting. It also allowed me to think about what everything that happened in the past hour meant.
Even definitively knowing I was in the 'DxD' universe wasn't a big concern; in part, because it didn't change any of my goals. Meeting Suzaku pretty much took away any lingering doubts about that. And, If I still wanted to deny it, meeting Yasaka made that pointless. If that was true the girl in my arms made it so I couldn't come to any other conclusion at this point. I guess the only thing that really became clear tonight was that I was going to derail canon massively.
I've never been worried about changing the timeline or 'preserving canon'. Not just out of apathy or disgust for Issei's wet dream coming to pass. Honestly, the very idea of doing so is both ignorant and arrogant. I was in an isolated pocket dimension for the past sixteen years and I already know that I've caused changes to happen. Just a few people I've interacted with or killed since leaving my village could cause large-scale changes given enough time. The only way to not change anything would be to not exist, making it a moot point.
While I wasn't worried necessarily about changing the timeline before, now I've resolved myself to explicitly change it. The main reason is the kid sleeping with her head on my shoulder. It would be an exaggeration to say I care about her more than any other child, certainly less than my own sister, but I won't allow her to suffer on her own if it isn't what she chooses. I can say without guilt that I'm not going to go around saving every suffering child in the world. Akeno, however, is right in front of me. If I tell my people not to harm children how can I abandon one that is right here?
I'm no saint, the river of blood that I've built my life upon says as much, but I'm no great evil either. If anything I'd say that I'm selfish, that isn't always a bad thing, however. I'll try to save Akeno from some of her pain and if she wishes to deny my help, to strike out on her own, then she may. But I'll do it because I want to, simple as that.
If instead, she chooses to stay, then she will be treated as I do my own sister. If she stays she becomes my responsibility and that means I'm responsible for ensuring she's ready for all the people who will want to kill her one day. Her identity as the daughter of Barakiel is already enough to bring a myriad of threats down on her. Without the protection of a Satan, as she had in canon, she'll have to be strong. I may eventually have the political power and reputation to protect her, and I have a fair amount of personal power to do so now, but it's unlikely that will be enough. I also refuse to protect her from the world for her whole life. What kind of life would that be?
I can't believe I went for a walk and ended up adopting another little sister.
By meeting Akeno I've made it so she won't run into Rias, an event that was actually a good thing for both of them originally. Even if I sent her off now it's possible her direction has been changed completely so that idea is out. Instead, I'll have to personally make sure she has a better life than what she originally would have had, otherwise I'd feel guilty about ruining hers… Why do people have kids again?
Poor Rias is going to have a bitch of a time getting out of her engagement now. Akeno was literally her only competent peerage member at that point. I say that but it doesn't affect me at all so boo-hoo, I guess.
Since I wasn't that far from home, to begin with, my short internal dialogue kept me occupied for the entire trip. I have to shift Akeno a bit to get the door open without bonking her head off it. If it wasn't a sliding door I probably would have anyway. The lights are mostly out so it's safe to say Shuten is asleep by now. That is definitely good because I don't want to deal with questions from her right now.
My mother, however, is almost certainly still up.
My suspicions are confirmed when she peeks her head around the corner. When she sees the cargo I'm carrying she raises an eyebrow and smirks at me. I put a finger to my lips and point to the girl on my shoulder, making sure Mother doesn't wake Akeno up. Mother rolls her eyes and without saying anything I know she is scoffing internally at me pointing that out. She already has two children and knows enough to not wake another and that realization that my cheeks color in embarrassment.
Sneaking by my mother and through the house, I carefully place Akeno in a spare room. After tucking her in, I lay out some clothes for her to change into when she wakes up. If it were Shuten I would change her into clean clothes but I doubt Akeno would be fine with that. I'm definitely not. Once she's settled I write out a quick note for her so she doesn't freak out at being in a strange house in the morning. A quick check to make sure there isn't anything I'm forgetting and I go to face the music.
When I sit down across from my mother, I can't help but feel a familiar sort of nervousness. Even though I know that, unless I let her, my mother couldn't punish me. From her expression I can tell she doesn't want to, being more amused than anything. Yet I still feel like a kid who got caught doing something they aren't supposed to. Maybe, having left the village has allowed some old habits and feelings to bleed through. Ones that I hadn't the time for when I was there.
She, sensing my worry, laughs lightly and slides a saucer of saké across the table. "Drink and relax, Daughter. We both know what you did wasn't wrong but, I would like to know exactly what that display was. Or, who and why, I suppose."
I take the offered drink and down it in a single go, relishing in the subtle burn that courses down my throat and into my chest. Mother stares expectantly at me and I sigh before gathering my thoughts.
My mother reaches across the table and places a hand on mine. There's a concern in her eyes and something that looks a lot like sympathy; the combination causes my breath to catch. Perhaps seeing my difficulties at forcing the words out, she is instead the one who speaks, "I took your sister out to see the city today. Seeing Kyoto and the humans that live in it… I think I understand some things now."
Mother squeezes my hand gently and hums a tune, one I remember from when I was young. She looks wistful as she hums and I can feel myself relaxing as I close my eyes and listen. "I watched the humans live their lives and I realized that I can't understand them. Nothing they do makes sense, their lives seem empty and their motivations flimsy. They just aren't Oni. They aren't like us and that is… Not wrong but... odd when that is all I've known."
"Part of the problem is that I didn't grow up with them, so I don't know how to deal with them. What I'm trying to say is," My mother sniffles and it's only now that I realize she's begun to cry, "I'm sorry I didn't do better raising you."
Startled, a strangled gasp leaps out of my throat. This was not where I expected this conversation to go. I hurriedly move around to the other side of the table and attempt to comfort her. "You didn't do anything wrong. Why would you even think that?"
"I've seen you interacting with the others from the village. These are people you should have grown up knowing, talking to, and sparring with. You look at them like they're strangers!" As I rub my mother's back, I notice a sizable pile of saké jugs piled up. That at least makes sense. It takes a lot of alcohol and perceived guilt to get an Oni weepy.
"It's fine, Mother. I have you and Shuten-chan." If anything that makes her cry harder. Not wanting to make it worse, I shut up, deciding to wait whatever this is out. It takes a couple of minutes before she's calm enough to continue. When she does she preempts speaking with a shot of alcohol.
"That's the point though! You only have us. Everyone else you hold at arm's length. Kami, you were warmer and more genuine with a human girl who tried to kill you than your own people." She frowns, filling up another saucer, and gestures with it angrily, the liquid sloshing over the sides. "Your people adore you but you don't feel like they're your people, do you? Your sister and I are, I know that. The rest. Well, would you even notice if they were gone?"
"Of course! Why would you think otherwise?" My mood immediately shifts to pissed off at the implication. I may not be the best leader but I care enough not to lose track of my own people!
"So, when is Yaeko going to be back then?" The blood rushes from my face as I'm reminded of the person I did completely forget about. I try to think of an excuse or some way to buy myself time but from the bored, knowing look, my mother is sporting it wouldn't help. Instead of making an excuse I snatch the alcohol from her and go back to my seat.
Mulishly, I slide down at my side of the table and set my jaw. Ignoring the saucer I take a drink straight from the jug because I am not sober enough to deal with accusations like that. This is going to be a thing now, isn't it? The only reason I accepted leading the damn village is that there isn't anyone else to do it!
"I'll take you not answering as a sign you have no idea where she is." When I refuse to reply she lets out a long-suffering sigh. "It isn't like it actually matters, she's a grown woman. The problem is that she represents you, even though you don't seem to care."
"I should have fought harder against the Elders commands. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of the woman you're becoming. My problem is that most of that is your efforts, not mine. Until you were born my position in the village was nearly the bottom so I hold little love for everyone there." Enraptured by the weight of her confessions I'm unable to turn away. "You, however, I do love. More than I had ever thought possible. That's why it is so hard to watch the things you do sometimes. You try so hard to keep yourself apart from everyone because you don't want to admit what everyone knows is true, that you care about our people. Why else would you have tried to change our way of life? Stop hiding yourself from them and lead."
"Why would they follow someone who barely knows them?" I choke out the words, my voice rough with emotion. The truths she's given to me aren't something I can just ignore. Not like I have been this whole time. I have been doing the minimum possible to keep the village going because I don't really see them as my people. The Oni I'm most familiar with, outside my family, is Akio and I hardly know the guy.
My mother laughs, shaking her head. I can't bring myself to be offended but I am confused. "They adore you! They're only a step away from worshipping you. Follow you? They'll throw themselves on blades if you ask them and they would do so without a thought."
I gape at her, horrified at the idea that I've somehow inspired fanatic devotion without even meaning to. She seems to understand why I'm shocked and already has the answer. "Most of that is because of what the Elder did, not you. The stronger the belief around you, the fewer people questioned him. If you were some divine second-coming of Ibaraki-sama then clearly you had a plan for us all."
"That makes way too much sense… I thought them calling me 'Little Ancestor' was an affectionate title, not an epithet. Not everyone believes that, right?" Even though idolization bothers me, I can't help but think about how beneficial it is. If not for that, someone would have challenged my leadership by now. I would certainly win but it would be annoying to deal with a coup d'etat every week.
"No, not everyone. I know better, having raised you. So did the Elder, while he still lived. Your sister is the only other who knows the truth. With her, however, you know as well as I do that it wouldn't matter if you were his next incarnation. She isn't one to bow to anyone, tradition be damned." We both smile wryly at that thought. Shuten may do what we say but she only does so willingly if it's what she planned to do anyway. Mother smirks and shakes her head. "I think her behavior is a punishment for how easy raising you was."
The laughter we share breaks through any lingering tension and, by the time it fades into a comfortable silence, I'm glad that we had this conversation. I'll have to try harder to help my people; this time it will have to be with the resolution that they are my people. I go to stand and head back to my room but my mother pins me with a glare. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
Smiling sheepishly, I sit back down. "She was in trouble, so I figured… why not?"
Severely unimpressed, my mother crosses her arms and drums her fingers against her bicep. Having let her lack of amusement show, I await her assessment. "There are many 'why nots' but I'll need more information to properly complain. Please, do enlighten me."
"She just lost her mother and was alone on the streets when I found her. Honestly, she would have been fine even without my help but that doesn't mean I shouldn't, right?" I can tell I haven't sold this well enough so I go for the kill. "I saw her and I thought about Shuten-chan. If we both died I would want someone to take care of her."
Predictably she folds, resting her head in her hands and groaning. Smirking victoriously, I strike while the iron is hot. "It won't be hard to take care of her, she's around twelve. Also, she's a half-fallen angel so she'll have decent potential. More than if she was a vanilla human anyway. Combine that with the fact she already has magic training and she'll be able to carry her own weight."
"You can't help but to drag strays along with you, can you?" She smirks at my indignant pout and shakes her head. "The tiger? You would've kept it if it hadn't died. The villagers you spend the most time with are the oddballs that don't mix well with the rest. That little boy from the village we passed through?"
Each item on her list is one hundred percent spot on, making me wonder if I do have a habit like that. Nah, she's just picking on me.
"Go on, get some sleep." I dart over and give my mother a quick hug.
After, as I walk out of the room I give her a lazy wave and a lopsided smile. "Goodnight, mom."
Grinning back, she waves me off. "Night, kiddo."
I would normally head off to my room and go right to sleep but there is something that I should really do before anything else. The damage to my body from the grudge flames had been regenerated instantly and the damage to my mind from the pain was nonexistent. What that didn't account for was the state of my soul. There had to have been some damage done or else I wouldn't have passed out like that. Even that is downplaying what happened; I actually thought I was going to die there.
Beyond even that concern, is why the flames had stopped. My mind has been suspiciously quiet since I've awoken and at this point, I'm confident that my Ancestor died. I, however, wasn't the one that killed him. The only other being that I have a pact with is Byakko… but he's just a normal tiger if a bit mystical seeming. I suppose that in a Xianxia world this would be when I meet the Old Grandpa in the ring who teaches me his unparalleled inheritance. Heh, as if.
My dilemma at this point is how to go about diagnosing the damage. The soul is such a nebulous idea and I don't know how to actually approach it. I have no doubt that the supernatural world as a whole has a myriad of methods that reach the realm of the soul. At the same time, none of that helps me.
Currently, the only method I have access to is meditation. Meditation, however, has only ever allowed me to feel the contours of my soul and exercise it. I've never entered a state of mind still enough to go deeper than the boundary.
I wish I knew more about magic.
Huffing in annoyance, I settle in my room. I have practiced three distinct forms of meditation in this life; the way of the sword, the bow, or the duality of life and death. When using a sword for meditation, I'm always focused on deepening my relationship with the blade and understanding swordsmanship. When using a bow, the purpose has been to find peace and stretch the boundary of my soul. Lastly, when trying to meditate on life and death, I was trying to resonate with the ki in the world around me and experience the void of nonexistence from before my rebirth. If I take all three separate approaches as a path of meditation and compare the effects each had on me, I might be able to distill them into a method that will allow me to feel my soul, fully.
Sword meditation comes easily as it's the basis of my sword intent. Merely picking up the bone sword causes my mindset to shift. It's like flipping a switch and my thoughts become sharper, deadlier. Sword intent glimmers along the edge of the blade, its silvery hue lighting up the room slightly. With that energy being produced, I try to follow it back to the source. While I can 'feel' the tug the energy causes, the 'where' that I'm trying to find eludes me. It's hard to explain it with physical senses because it's not something physical.
I try to reach my soul that way a few more times before moving on. While normally picking up a bow is calming for me, the one I pick up brings me a malicious glee. The bow, forged of the Elder's bones, never ceases to bring a smile to my face. I probably should try to suppress that response but is it wrong to revel in my revenge, even if it's just a little bit?
Getting back to the task at hand, I focus on my breathing; aiming for it to be level, like calm water. Closing my eyes, I form the image of a still pond in my mind. Gradually, the image gains more detail; plants grow on the shore, rock fills the bottom, and lily pads drift lazily across. As my breathing stabilizes it causes light gusts to whirl across the pond, gentle ripples following its path. As I pluck the string on my bow a hum fills the air and my soul shakes, a haze forming across the pond. Yet no matter how much longer I try, the image doesn't complete itself.
Growing angry and impatient causes the image to dissipate fully. Sighing I take a minute to regroup and stare at the ceiling. I still have another method to try before combining them if it doesn't work. It's still annoying though.
My final meditation form is done while sitting in the lotus position. For some reason, the body is more in tune with natural Ki in certain positions, lotus being one of them. Ki is exceptionally responsive in combat as well but I theorize that is because fighting for one's life is an action that resonates with the earth. When you think about it, there are few moments when you are more alive than when you are desperately trying not to die. There is something primal about life and death struggles.
Once I have my Ki flowing properly, I begin to mix it with trickles of natural Ki. Each circulation through my body causes the volume to grow and become more violent. At the point, I feel myself reaching my limit I concentrate on the Ki itself, the taste of pure lifeforce if I have to describe it. It's like the scent of blooming flowers, the feeling of a burning flame, the sound of the wild, and everything in between. I can feel my mind and heart grow lighter as I engrave the sensation into my body.
The sensation grows thick and heady, intoxicating in its pungency. At the moment I fear a loss of control, I pull up the memory of the space between life and death. A true void in existence. The pure life recoils violently at the memory, hating it on a conceptual level, so I pull it harder toward me. I can feel my mind, or maybe my soul, shake as I hold the memory in my consciousness. The Ki struggles to escape, pulsing and lashing out like a wounded animal, but I keep bringing it closer.
I hold the memory longer than I have ever done before until the Ki comes close. When they touch, a profound stillness fills me. The two extremes don't so much mingle together as ebb against an invisible barrier. They prod against the boundary, yet I ignore them, staring at the boundary itself. Looking at it is… weird, I suppose. The extremities of the barrier aren't in my range, it feels like it stretches eternally. Even still, I feel like it isn't real? No, not false; transient, fleeting, ephemeral perhaps, but not false.
It's intriguing but still not quite what I'm here for.
The most promising method was using the bow. I think that if I can solidify the haze on the other side of the pond and make it across I'll have the information I came for. Having decided on a course of action I begin to build the image again. This time, however, I circulate my Ki simultaneously. Once both processes reach their conclusion, I pull on the void again, adding it to the mix.
Suddenly, the Ki and void both shift. I can't say I'm not shocked at that but the form the shift takes is inspired if nothing else. The two forces dive into the pond, turning from energy into two koi, which circle each other warily. The space between the fish is small yet there is an immovability to it, as though that small expanse is infinite in breadth.
The image beyond the pond wavers then snaps into position, forming the village I grew up in, and the forest that surrounds it. Even from here, I can see that fire has ravaged it but still I'm unable to tell what has actually been damaged. Hell, I don't even know what each building represents. How do I get across though?
As if answering my question a pillar of sword intent forms in front of me. I guess I could cut the pond and walk across like Moses or something. Before I can do so the sword intent shimmers and stretches; it thins itself out and creates a bridge that, ironically, cuts across the distance between the shores. Luckily nobody is around or else I'd be embarrassed at missing that obvious metaphor.
Path open, I walk toward the interior of my mindspace.
I might be messed up.
I don't know much about souls or how they express themselves but surely a bleak, dark, empty village isn't a sign of good health. The heavy miasma that grew especially dense around the temple on the mountain was probably a bad sign. I went through every house in the village and the only ones with anything in them were my childhood home and the Elders home.
The home I grew up in was brightly lit and the colors were vibrant, though there weren't any possessions inside. The Elder's home, no longer the ruins it was in real life, was somehow darker than the rest of the village. Blood painted the walls and in the corner of my vision flames burned as I walked through it. Suffice to say it was the polar opposite of my house.
Upon taking a second lap I realized that the town center wasn't as dark as the rest of the village. It wasn't that much better though, being white and cold rather than the chilling grey. Green grass was sprouting there, something that wasn't occurring anywhere else. A good omen, perhaps.
The damage from the fire was actually far less than I would have expected. For supernatural flames of hatred, the majority of the damage seemed to be cosmetic. I'm thankful for that, don't get me wrong, but it is odd.
This is my mindscape, a visualization of my soul, maybe I need to be honest with myself to find what I'm looking for. Thinking about it, most of my days were spent in the forest and, outside the time I spent with my mother, I was happiest there. Having figured that out, heading into the forest becomes an easy decision.
The trip from the village into the forest is nostalgic and makes me realize how much I've missed that routine. Training had started out as a necessity but over time I came to enjoy it, treating it as an escape from all the issues in my life. In a way, the forest itself provided that escape, allowing me to hide away from prying eyes. If only for a while.
As I head deeper into the forest, toward the clearing I trained in, the foliage grows denser and more vibrant. From the grass to the trees and everything in between it is all filled to the brim with life, unlike the village that I had just left.
Earlier I had been sensing my surroundings to assess the damage and I hadn't yet ceased doing so. Because of this, I noticed a playful presence stalking me through the trees as I walked to the clearing. They were broadcasting their intent clear as day so it wasn't difficult to remain calm and pretend to not notice.
The moment I stopped a shadow lept from the trees behind me. A large mass of fur piles into my back and I laugh as we collapse into a heap. Byakko, because who else could it be, lets out a pleased rumble and extricates himself annoyingly slowly.
"You seem to be in a good mood, Byakko." as I sit up I take a look at him and am struck with how different his appearance is. If I didn't know it was him the majestic beast in front of me would probably be terrifying. Rather than a white tiger, it would be more accurate to call him a silver tiger now. The stripes made of black fire serve to heighten the instinctual fear response his presence causes.
"Today is a good day, brat. It was shameful that my student was bound to the will of someone else for so long." I resist the urge to snicker at the haughty attitude of my old friend. The confirmation that Ibaraki-Douji is dead is comforting if nothing else.
"You killed him then?" The fierce smile, or its feline approximation, and the way Byakko fills with pride is enough to show that is the truth.
"He dared to attack my home, your soul." Byakko deflates a little, pawing the ground in annoyance. "I had to borrow the power of your soul to do it though. I'm unsure what the outcome would have been if the wayward child hadn't partially sealed him."
He says he borrowed my power but what power? Eyeing him skeptically I pick apart the rest of his statement. The fact that Byakko thinks he could have lost scares me a bit since this is my soul we are talking about. The wayward child must be Akeno so I'll have to thank her when she wakes up. I guess we saved each other tonight.
"I admit I'm ignorant of the condition of my soul before today but everything seems fine. You live here Byakko, can you tell me what the damage is like?" Byakko has lain down in the clearing across from me and is lazily licking the back of his paw clean.
"I was able to protect everything important in your soul by sacrificing impurities to the flames and due to its sheer vastness. Let's not talk about damage but rather the boon you've reaped in this trial." He stares at me expectantly awaiting my conclusion based on what he's said.
Thinking about it, removing impurities is a good thing. If he's mentioning it then I can assume the process is like when the same is done to metal. By refining the metal you remove the particles that aren't the metal you are working with; for example, traces of silicon in pig iron. Does that mean that there were leftover materials in my soul space? "What impurities are you talking about?"
"When you pulled the lingering resentment of others inside you they stitched themselves to your soul. They essentially ripped a hole in your soul and filled it with themselves. If you hadn't consistently grown your soul while you accumulated these grudges it would have unraveled in the process." Byakko nods to himself as though what he said wasn't horrifying. A strangled noise of protest slips out of my throat as I blink in astonishment. "Once their spirits were appeased they returned to the afterlife. When this happened they created holes in your soul once more. The soul, however, is infinite so it can easily stretch back and fill the gaps."
"So I performed self-mutilating soul grafting without even knowing. Great. You still haven't explained the problem." Shaking my head I think about how the whole thing sounds like a problem.
"Patience cub. Tch, kids these days, no respect." My eye twitches at that. Tigers live for less than twenty years, if anything we are the same age!
"The soul remembers its shape and will seek to return to that same shape. That's the reason that tearing pieces off is so dangerous. Your soul would begin to rot as it struggled to become whole again. I don't claim to understand it completely but if the piece taken is large enough or important enough, then the rest can't regenerate that piece. Say your arm was infinite in size, if you lost your hand it would still be a significant loss." I shiver at the idea and Byakko continues not noticing. "Your soul adapted to those fragments, otherwise you would have experienced rejection, like an organ transplant. Because of that, it tried to mimic the shape of the fragments that filled the gaps."
I try to picture it in my head but the complexities elude me. I get the gist of it, though I think there's a lot more to it than he's saying. "So imitating those departed fragments is the issue then?"
"Indeed, the soul is the innermost expression of oneself. If that is the case, does it not make sense that changing it to something different would weaken it?" It would be like using a drill as a hammer. It would work but not as well as the tool for the job.
"I see you understand. When the flames tried to devour your soul I cast off those sections first. Your soul effectively 'forgot' those areas and only returns to its own shape now. The time saved by sacrificing those sections allowed your soul to soak in the heat of the flames, tempering it, and making it more resilient to damage." Byakko smiles with a fierce glint in his eyes. "This calamity was turned into a blessing by none other than me!"
Byakko luxuriates in his success and I'm struck with the image of a muscular thug laughing haughty with his arms crossed. 'Praise me more; bow down and thank your grandfather, I, Byakko-sama!' I shudder as that particular thought is shoved into the dark recesses of my mind.
I narrow my eyes, the changes in his appearance making more sense suddenly. "I wasn't the only one that benefitted, was I?"
Byakko freezes and shrinks in on himself. His tail curves up closer to him and he eyes me warily. "This… I did say I borrowed your power to save you. Maybe I should have said consumed instead?"
I drum my fingers across my bicep while keeping my eyes narrowed, waiting for him to explain. He chuffs in annoyance and his tail wishes angrily. "It was necessary. I'm not a parasite like the other you allowed in here! You created me after the original died so don't stare at me like I'm a leech."
He grows suddenly, his form towering over mine. "It would seem that time has dulled the feelings of gratitude you hold for your teacher and friend. I won't hold it against you today since I know well how scary the situation was but I would be ashamed to befriend someone who lacks propriety and respect."
I sigh, the wind ripped from my sails, and smile weakly at him. "I'm sorry, I know you wouldn't do something to hurt me. At least unless I pissed you off."
I wink to show the last statement was a joke and he shrinks back down to his normal size. He snorts in amusement and cracks a grin, letting me know he isn't offended.
"Did you come away with anything else, besides the slick, shiny coat of fur you're sporting?" That isn't even flattery, his silver fur gleams in the sun and looks genuinely stunning.
"When I devoured the parasite I received his knowledge as well. Thankfully without the ego attached or else I'd be insufferable like him." That is really good. The old bastard had been stingy with sharing knowledge, especially regarding magic. I think he was scared I'd learn enough magic to exorcise him. The irony.
"That's amazing! I guess I'll be in your care Byakko-sensei." Not only will this allow me to use traditional magic, but I'm also sure Ibaraki-Douji was a dab hand at Youjutsu.
"Your talk with your mother went a long way to resolving your inner conflicts I see. Congratulations." I blink at the non-sequitur, wondering what that has to do with anything. Actually, how does he even know?
The giant cat rolls its eyes and gestures to the village. "Your mind's turmoil shows in your mindscape. The image that represents you has solidified. It should have a fitting abode in it for me, however… A temple perhaps? A palace molded into my image?"
"Pfft, as if. I'll make you a nice hovel for you to lounge in. Away from the village." I cackle at his affronted expression, rolling on the floor and clutching my sides. Really, that expression should never be on a tiger's face.
"I'm just kidding, I'll get right on-" My statement is cut off by a yawn and I realize how tired I am. My eyes grow heavy but I try to finish my sentence. "M' sorry, I'll-"
When I yawn again, Byakko walks over and curls himself around me. "You will do nothing. Go to sleep, cub. The forest is comfortable enough for now."
Now that is a sentiment I can get behind.
The relief I receive from knowing I'm okay allows me to have one of the best sleep I've had in a long time. I wake up well-rested and ready to face the day with my best foot forward. As I sit up and stretch, slowly blinking the sleep out of my eyes, I lavish in my contentment. So deep is my relaxation that I'm caught unaware by the projectile that barrels into me.
"Oof!" I curl up around the high-speed weapon of mass destruction, also known as my sister, as it hits in order to lessen the grievous injury I have surely been dealt. This should hopefully buy me enough time to say goodbye! Weakly, I open my eyes to catch a glimpse at what shall be the last sight I experience before slipping free of my mortal coil. "Onee-sama, you're thinking something weird again, aren't you?"
Suddenly miraculously recovered, I glance up at Shuten, who is kneeling on my chest and pulling on my horns. A broad smile stretches across my face, "Not weird no, I was just thinking that if you're launching sneak attacks you must really want to train."
Shuten pales and, backing up, nervously scans the room for exit routes. I stand up out of my bed and start limbering up, stretching my arms and legs for the chase that is about to ensue. Shuten eyes me warily and laughs nervously. "Really, you don't have to. I just came to say good morning!"
As she turns around and runs out of the room I make a futile attempt to hold my laughter in. I take my time getting dressed and ready for the day, after all, I don't have anything pressing to deal with. I amuse myself by trying different hairstyles, the twin tails being especially humorous, before settling on a high ponytail. While I do enjoy how I look with long hair I have debated cutting it short. In the end, I shouldn't make the decision based on laziness.
After I wrangle my hair into place, a piercing scream cuts through our house. Chastising myself, I break into a run, through the house toward Akeno's room, while wishing I had the foresight to be there when she awoke. Having your mother die and waking up in an unfamiliar place after passing out would be distressing; something I should have predicted and been prepared for.
Even from a distance away and through the walls, I can hear her crying as she realizes yesterday did happen. When I reach the door to her room I hesitate for a moment, wondering if my presence will make things better or worse. I make up my mind to try to comfort her but the time in which I pause gives me the time needed to remember how I look. Running in with horns, claws, and sharp teeth is not advisable for the current situation. I'm not completely ignorant of other's feelings.
I slowly slide the door open, ensuring the motion is nice and smooth. With muscle control honed from years of combat, I keep my footfalls soft but loud enough to not be sneaking as well as making sure none of my motions are jerky or sudden. Akeno is curled up in the bed bawling her eyes out; a fitting response to your entire world being torn from you.
Any of the innate hostility my presence usually emits is reigned in and instead, I work to pulse out soothing waves of ki. I don't know enough about Shuri Himejima to mimic even part of her aura so I just try to make mine as calming as possible. Akeno stiffens at the foreign feeling invading the room then continues crying as though nothing changed. Seeing as she isn't throwing anything at me or firing lightning, I assume I'm doing well.
When I make it to the bed I sit down on the edge and awkwardly try to figure out my next move. I almost ask what's wrong as a way to get her talking. While my empathic ability is shallow, I'm not quite that bad though. Instead, I maintain the comforting presence and start to hum; simply waiting until she gets it out of her system.
It isn't long until the sobbing dies down to sniffles and the occasional hiccup. When she's ready she sits up and looks at me. It isn't even her obvious sadness that gets to me but how completely lost she looks. "We left… We left and we were happy. Why would they come after us?"
I bite my lip, wondering how I should answer this. "Does it matter?" Akeno glares at me, tears still streaming and starts to retort but I hold my hand up to stop her. "Their reasons, not what happened."
"Whatever justifications I could give for why they went after your family, it doesn't change what happened. Nothing like that will lessen your hurt or your rage. Never try to justify the actions of people who hurt you." Akeno clenches her fist and slams her eyes shut, hot tears dripping down her cheeks.
"So that's it? I just don't think about it? They took my mother from me! They killed her and I don't even know who they are!" Akeno takes a swing at me and I let it hit, knowing it isn't going to harm me and hoping it helps her in some way. She rains pitiful blows on my chest that are filled with her raw pain before weakly slumping against me. "I just want my mom back. I want my dad to come in and tell me it was all a bad dream."
"I want that for you too." I sigh as I try to navigate this minefield. As callous as it may sound, I wish I had more experience dealing with this. I don't even know if I'm doing a good job. "Tell me about her."
Akeno stiffens and looks at me in surprise. I shrug as my eyes dart around the room awkwardly. "I thought it might help for you to talk about her. You seem like a nice girl so she is a good mother, right?"
"She's great." Akeno counters with a vehemence that shocks both of us. "She always does her best to make sure everyone is happy. She's the kindest person I know, never hesitating to help anyone if they need it. When I was younger, I used to be envious of the birds… My wings weren't strong enough to fly with yet and… She would pick me up and carry me around the house. She would run around for what seems like hours and just laugh with me the whole time."
By the end of her story, Akeno is smiling and seems to be lost in the memory. I let a small grin slip as I imagine the scene she's painting. A happy little girl and a family that was equally as happy. Akeno's brow furrows and her smile is wiped away. "And now she's gone. Where was he… My father should have been there. He should have saved us!"
Cringing, I wonder whether I should defend Barakiel or throw him under the bus. I don't care about him or what she thinks of him but Akeno denying half her heritage is stupid at best and completely detrimental at worst. She was never as bad as Shirone on that front, nor was she as vitriolic with her hatred toward the fallen as Kiba was toward the Excaliburs. With that said, it's kind of her choice, right? I should be focused on her dealing with grief and being happy, not her combat potential. "He wasn't there to save you or your mother, I get that, I don't think it's wrong to hate him for that either."
Akeno gives me a sharp nod and clenches her fists. I tilt her chin up so she looks at me again since I wasn't finished yet. "Akeno, it's fine to hate him for not being there but don't taint the memories of when he was. Can you honestly say he doesn't love you? Can you tell me that he wasn't a good father before now? That he didn't care? I'm not saying forgive him, I wouldn't, especially not yet. Just don't forget the man he used to be, okay?"
Releasing a shaky breath she nods, relaxing her fists. "Okay. Um… can you leave for a bit? I think I need to be alone for a while."
After standing up, I pat her on the head. I wait until she meets my gaze before leaving with a parting offer. "Call me if you need anything. Also, do you want me to bring you anything?"
"Ah, no." She shakes her head and as I turn to leave, "Wait!" I look back over my shoulder and her face is shy and she seems a little less lost than before. One of her hands plays with her hair as she fidgets adorably. "Thank you for… everything, I guess."
I beam at her over my shoulder, "Anytime, kiddo!"
It has been a month since I brought Akeno into our home and she has integrated well. Akeno came out later that day and I introduced her to my family. Mother was wonderful about it, being a capable mother she quickly found an easy rhythm with Akeno. She made sure not to make it look as though she was replacing Shuri. Instead, acting as a trustworthy adult and not pushing Akeno. Akeno, for her part, seems to respect my mother and at the very least likes her.
Akeno began helping out around the house almost immediately. Whether that was out of habit, politeness, or a desire not to be a burden I'm unsure. One thing my mother was ecstatic about was that Akeno took interest in her craft as a seamstress. I had never shown any interest in it beyond knowing how to patch clothing or sew enough to improvise a stitch on a wound. My sister of course wouldn't touch sewing with a ten-foot pole. Too much like work. Perhaps that is uncharitable, she is only three, something I forget occasionally.
Shuten on the other hand was making things difficult. It wasn't anything I hadn't expected, she's a little demon most of the time, but she has been going out of her way to make Akeno feel unwelcome. The irony of that statement is that Akeno thrived under my sister's hostility, countering it with poise and politeness that infuriated Shuten. I've never seen someone deal with her so easily before and I was often left stunned as my sister fumed impotently.
My sister wouldn't attempt to actually harm Akeno, the fact she was under my protection was evident by the fact I brought her into our home. With that said she had no problem being rude or pulling pranks. Hiding things from Akeno was commonplace if easily solved by a spell from her. I think even the pranks were reigned in from the beginning and had nearly ceased by now.
I made sure I spent lots of time with my sister so she didn't get jealous. One thing I realized is that I didn't need to force my sister to train, I only needed to find something she enjoyed that would cause her strength to grow. What finally sparked her interest was disgusting, horrifying, and mildly amusing.
I was helping Akeno with the dishes after breakfast while my mother and Shuten were doing the gardening. Shuten was being forced to help due to a recent 'prank' of poisoning Akeno's tea. I was immensely thankful for both my enhanced senses and the fact that the poison would have only paralyzed the poor girl for a few minutes if she had drunk it.
We were nearly done when Shuten came running back in. The way we were positioned in the room meant that she approached me from behind. "Onee-sama, look what I found!"
Naturally, upon hearing the excitement in my sister's voice, I spun around with a wide smile on my face. If I had been paying more attention, I would have noticed the grimace on Akeno's and took that as a warning. Instead, I turned around and got a face full of a foot-long centipede that my sister had flung at me.
I don't know how most people would handle that but I, being the composed individual I am, screamed shrilly and tried to incinerate it. Shuten dove over her new friend, protecting it with her fireproof body. Well, fireproof enough to block mundane fire; it was a bug I was trying to kill, not a dragon. Once the fire stopped, Shuten glared at me while pouting. Seemingly in agreement, her new friend hissed at me from my sister's embrace.
Now, a single mundane insect would do nothing to augment my sister's combat ability. So imagine my surprise when within a week I make the mistake of walking in my sister's room while looking for her. She had taken some storage containers from the house and loaded them with venomous insects before locking them inside. How she came up with the idea of rearing Gu by herself I'll never know.
What I do know is that the original centipede she found had been the one to survive and it broke open the top of the container when I arrived. The monster, for it can't be called anything else, was triple its previous size; its chitin gleamed black looking akin to plate mail; Far too many, sharp, lance-like legs swished and stabbed at the air; And beady purple eyes shone maliciously on its burnt orange head. Noticing me, it spat out an iridescent green glob at me that ate through the wall after I dodged.
I stayed clear of her room after that and, if I heard her cooing at it while it chittered happily, I ignored it. The centipede, or Anzu-tan as Shuten called it, was never far away from her after that. I had to force myself to get used to its presence because more often than not its head would poke out from my sister's shirt or sleeve. The idea of that thing crawling along her body is nightmare fuel but I have persevered.
If she wasn't so clearly enamored with it, however, I would have burnt it to a crisp already.
The scarier part of my sister's newfound hobby is that it wasn't the only one she picked up. Our mother decided that watching too much television would be detrimental to Shuten's growth. Thinking that some reading would do her good, I made that suggestion to Mother. The mistake that was made was allowing Shuten to choose.
That was how I ended up on bedtime story duty when my mother returned and dumped a pile of books in my arms with a sigh. From the Field Guide to Venomous Fauna, to Poisonous Plants and you, all the way to A Chemist's Guide to Acids and Bases, if there was a book on biohazardous materials, Shuten found it. Thankfully, she had yet to delve into radiation not understanding that it was basically the perfect poison. When she is older and more responsible I'll introduce her to the joys of invisible, nigh-undetectable death waves.
Until then I'll help her play with the substances in the books she has. Over the month we went on adventures through the city to find materials for her to work with, sometimes even going out into the countryside. It was surprisingly fun to go out and catalog different plants and animals with the family. We collected some native species -Wisteria, Pieris, Yew, and Datura among others- then transplanted them into our garden. Luckily this is DxD and not Kimetsu no Yaiba or else the Wisteria hunt would have gone badly.
Even if Shuten and I were pretty much immune to poison from what I've seen, our mother made sure that we were being safe when experimenting with poison and not using me as a guinea pig. I tried to reassure her that even if the poison affected me I could just flush it from my system by circulating Ki but she wouldn't budge.
Because of that restriction, Shuten and I had to try to up the lethality of the poison by making the smallest dose possible induce death in rats we caught. Essentially we harvested the poisonous parts of plants and had Shuten break them down using her Youki until she could mimic the poison. After that, she would manipulate the poisonous Youki to change the structure of the spell. When a single drop on her nail killed the rats it was considered acceptable.
I told her that once she mastered the things we had collected so far and house trained her 'pet' we could go hunt for a nice Mamushi. It is important that children can properly take care of pets and is a good lesson in responsibility. Suffice to say she was very excited about the prospect of obtaining another pet. Snakes I can deal with, giant centipedes are a hard no though.
I'm not sure exactly how my relationship with Akeno is developing; I don't have the advantage of being able to watch from the outside. I do, however, believe it is going fairly well. The thing Akeno and I really bonded over was discussing magic.
With the advent of Byakko gaining Ibaraki-Douji's memories, I now had a reliable method of learning magic. If a bit combat-focused. Akeno had walked in while I was making my own magic sigil and circle for the first time. After giggling at my pathetic attempt, she lent her expertise on the subject, helping me immensely.
Byakko had a repository of knowledge on ancient, primal magic; Akeno was well versed in modern magical tradition and Onmyoudou; I had a previous life of wasted youth filled with ideas taken from anime, comics, books, and other media. Together we were able to hold some pretty exciting debates on magical theory, though Akeno found the talking tiger odd the first time. While I doubt we were on par with an actual magic cabal, it was both fun and productive work.
My personal magic circle and sigil are structured in an octagon, like Kuroka's from what I remember of the show, but with my sigil -A stylized version of my third eye- in the center and black rather than purple. That was the base template at least. The actual symbols and geometric shapes that filled the outline depending on the spell being cast, each modifying the spell matrix in different ways.
The first spell I learned was a small spatial storage cantrip, in order to store my sword and bow. I say cantrip because this was technically a basic spell and each matrix would only work for that item. To the point that if the item took significant damage, like say the tip snapping off my sword, the spell wouldn't work. Or, more accurately, I would need to adjust the spell to hold the sword again. It was also considered a cantrip because if I was facing another magic user, I would basically need to take my weapon out before I fought them. If I didn't then they could easily counter my spell and not allow me to draw my weapon.
It took me the entire month to learn, mostly because the calculations required are absurd. The worst part about it was the whole time I struggled with the mental math to activate the spell, Akeno looked at me like I'm some sad creature; something pitiful and probably disabled. I haven't had to do math in sixteen years and back then I didn't have to calculate the structure of a spatial tunnel to a pocket dimension that varied based on the size, mass, and magical concentration of the item I was sending through!
Byakko took the time to make me feel even worse about it. "You do realize that as you become more in tune with your soul, you can use it to store items you have a deep connection with, correct?"
He said this as I was in the middle of pushing a small rock into the pocket dimension. Naturally, the magic circle fizzled out as I became upset. Akeno was able to put up a shield and Byakko, the bastard, wasn't a physical being; that meant that when the rock exploded, I was the only one hit with the hail of fragments. "No, I did not know that. Why would I be doing this if I knew that!"
When my mother came home later, it was to a decimated backyard as I, in my fury, tried to kill an incorporeal being whom I was manifesting with brute force.
Not my finest moment.
I spent the next day fixing everything in the garden by hand, with no help.
That wasn't the only time in the past month that Byakko would tell me different tricks and aspects of the soul. Most nights were spent meditating, and studying under his watchful eyes in my mindspace.
Like my magical studies with Akeno, learning about my soul was slow going. Part of the problem was that Byakko too was learning as we went. Boy was that fun to find out about.
"So, sword intent is my understanding of the sword, on a conceptual level, being reflected onto my weapon by 'soul energy'?" We are currently sitting in Byakko's house which was situated in the forest clearing from before.
Byakko sighs heavily and flops over onto his side. "Doesn't that make sense to you? You're the expert on that here."
I blink in surprise at his admission, shocked still. "What do you mean I'm the expert. You're the one who is supposed to know about soul stuff!"
Byakko rears back, looking as surprised as I felt just a moment ago. "How would I be an expert on that? The vast majority of my actual memories are from you, the rest are that of a mundane white tiger. Sure, my being was shaped by your inclinations and thoughts at the time but you aren't at the point where you can add knowledge to a being ex nihilo. Not many beings can."
"I made you? I thought you were some mystical tiger that I befriended?!" I gape at that admission from him. The creation of life from nearly nothing is ridiculous and definitely beyond me!
"I told you the first time you entered your mindscape that you made me." He sniffles suddenly, bringing his paws up over his snout. "To think I was born out of chance. A side consequence, a mistake even. Truly the universe is cruel!"
"I am not a deadbeat parent, you crocodile tear crying, overgrown rug!" My eye twitches as Byakko snorts in amusement. The nerve of him lets see if I ever bring him out for anything fun. "Ahem, back to the subject at hand?"
"I was born in the domain of the soul." He looks at me to see if I'm following along, receiving a blank stare in response. "My instincts are tied to the place as well, making it possible for me to use them to intuit certain truths."
I snap my fingers as recognition strikes me. "Like how Shuten-chan can use poison as an innate ability, you can manipulate and discover the secrets of the soul."
"Indeed, one could say it is my specialty or highest affinity." His posture remains lazy but I can see the pride shine in his eyes. The house around us shifts as he bends the space to his will, the design completely altered by the time he is finished. Throughout the process, I feel as though I could stop it if I really tried and that he was only able to change things so easily because I wasn't resisting.
"Today, I will teach you to soul scour." His eyes glow as a pitch-black aura burns laterally. "By using your soul energy you will be able to see the true nature of a being, so deeply that even they will be ignorant before you. Although, to reach that level will take dedication."
My spine goes rigid at the prospect of learning a new technique, a feral smile breaking out. "I'm ready, sensei!"
"Ho, indeed." The image of him as a venerable old man, stroking his beard flashes through my mind and I nearly smirk before suppressing it. "Channel the energy of your soul to your eyes-"
I do as instructed without pause; instantly power floods through those precious organs and both pop violently, rendering me blind and in excruciating pain.
"-slowly, and gently… You're an idiot..." I know that. You don't have to rub it in! After my eyes regenerated I tried again. And again when those attempts ended the same. Eventually, I remembered that I have a literal third eye that is basically vestigial and decided that having it explode would be better.
Knowing how things usually go for me, that attempt only caused the third eye to open, glowing with a red aura wafting off it.
Then it exploded.
Unlike the soul studies with Byakko and the magical studies with Akeno, things on the combat front were actually going very well. Byakko helped me refine my Tiger Style into something more natural for a humanoid body; though the comments of it being a mockery of everything he taught me and a tiger's body being superior anyway, could have been left out.
My archery practice had hit a wall in distance since I couldn't fire arrows through the city without permission. Instead, I focused on forming arrows out of energy, whether Youki, Ki, or Mana, and linking them to the trajectory of the physical arrow, to create a targeted barrage. I couldn't make an absurd number without them spiraling off randomly in every direction, twenty being my limit at the moment. I wouldn't be shouting Phoebus Catastrophe any time soon.
Refinement of my swordsmanship was where this month's reprieve really shone. Begrudgingly I will say that Fujiwara is a really good teacher and sparring partner. Through fighting each other for the past month we have mostly smoothed over any lingering discontent and gained mutual respect. Fujiwara was fast and skilled, something I am always willing to praise. He never hesitated or went easy on me.
For me, Fujiwara often muttered about me having freakish battle instincts. I was able to counter any feint or technique he used, the second or third time he tried it. When I told him the reason for that -how I basically had to teach myself or die if I couldn't figure out a move- he nodded his head and apologized. Not for anything he did but for my childhood. That I hadn't expected.
It seems, however, my reprieve is about to end as I've just been summoned by Yasaka. Now, I had spoken to Yasaka a couple of times over the month but it was mostly pleasantries; how we were settling in and the like. It hadn't been a formal summons until now.
As the servant slides open the door, I'm struck by how annoying being summoned is for me. I've apparently become a bit prideful if responding to someone else's command occasionally bothers me. That being said I am the leader of a race of people, which while small in number, are decently powerful. That makes my position pretty close to Yasaka's so some annoyance makes sense.
"Ibaraki-san, I'm so glad you came. Please, have a seat." As I sit a servant pours me some tea, which I thank them for with a nod.
"Yasaka, how many times have I told you to call me Ibaraki-chan~." Yasaka smiles playfully and places a palm against her cheek.
"Hm, I don't think you've said so enough quite yet. Perhaps, one more time Ibaraki-san?" I grin at her after taking a sip of my tea.
I wag my finger at her, "Say it with me, it's I. Ba. Ra. Ki. Chan." Yasaka giggles daintily behind her hand, an action I roll my eyes at. "How obstinate. Aren't we friends yet?"
"Not yet, though I am growing fond of your antics. You are a breath of fresh air compared to the nobles I have to deal with." Eh, fair enough I guess. I contemplate that for a moment and am about to speak when Yasaka interjects. "Before you say it, no I can't just get rid of them. They are important pillars of our society."
Well, that didn't sound bitter at all. "So, what did ya call me here for? I doubt it's to tell me how annoying the various nobles have been lately."
"There has been a new boryokudan moving into Kyoto recently. Normally this wouldn't be something we concerned ourselves with but they've gotten involved with trafficking magical items and species. More importantly, they've started dealing in people, my people." The last sentence is growled out with fury dripping off Yasaka's tongue. Her tails swish violently behind her, the fur standing rigid.
"Why me though? I'm not sure you've noticed but investigation and stealth aren't exactly my strong suit." Yasaka grimaces and snaps her fingers, an image solidifying above her shoulder.
"Oh, that's why." In the image, hauling a chained-up group of people into the back of a building is my missing subordinate. Even with the dark baggy clothing she wears, I know it's her.
This is why we can't have nice things.
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