Chương 51: Chapter 51
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Chapter 51: Make Out in Heaven? Advice for Single Hearts!
Next, Sasuke arrived at Sarutobi Asuma's class with the intention of taking Ino away. Sarutobi Asuma silently agreed and then discreetly pulled Sasuke aside, asking him in a hushed voice, "Sasuke, I've tried explaining myself to Kurenai numerous times, but she still hasn't forgiven me. How come?" It was somewhat embarassing for him to ask such a question of a junior, but Sarutobi Asuma was at his wit's end. With so many of his peers still single, he marveled at how Sasuke, at such a young age, managed to keep three girls living in harmony.
Resisting the urge to smile, Sasuke's mind raced with thoughts, "Perhaps the way Mr. Asuma talks to Teacher Kurenai isn't quite striking a chord. It might be time to refresh his communication skills."
Eager for advice, Sarutobi Asuma quickly inquired, "So, how do I improve my way of talking to girls?"
Sasuke replied confidently and retrieved a book from his pocket – Jiraiya's latest creation, Intimate Violence. Having bought two copies, one for himself and another for Mr. Kakashi, Sasuke decided that Kakashi, given his recent mood, wasn't likely to read it anyway.
"I grew up reading this series and learned a bit at a time," Sasuke said, handing over the book. "This is Master Jiraiya's newest work, and I'm giving it to you, Mr. Asuma."
Sarutobi Asuma, a bit unsure, questioned, "Is reading this really all it takes? Kakashi has always enjoyed the series too, but he's still single."
Sasuke expounded, "That's because Mr. Kakashi never really sought out a partner. He's content with Mr. Guy's company. Otherwise, with his looks, wouldn't it be simple for him to find a girlfriend?"
The logic seemed to click for Sarutobi Asuma who nodded thoughtfully. Sasuke continued, "Therefore, Mr. Asuma, you must diligently study. Insights into girls' preferred ways of speaking and understanding their mindset are all in here!"
"Really?!" Sarutobi Asuma's eyes sparkled as he clutched Intimate Violence, treasuring it like a prized artifact. "Thank you!"
Gratitude for Sasuke warmed his heart. If not for this advice, his relationship with Kurenai might have continued down a rocky path.
"It's nothing," Sasuke said with a wave of his hand, chuckling inwardly.
He mused to himself that Intimate Paradise, penned by Jiraiya—a confirmed bachelor—could lead Sarutobi Asuma, down just as convoluted a path. Sasuke had navigated such detours himself but, fortunately, could rely on his looks to recover from any missteps, a luxury Asuma did not share.
In the chat room, Sarutobi Asuma's fury was unleashed with a flood of expletives!
Nara Shikamaru pleaded, "Sensei Asuma, try to stay calm..."
Sarutobi Asuma vented, "Calm? How dare you tell me to stay calm! I beep beep beep beep—"
Inuzuka Kiba sympathized, "It's a harsh reality, having to thank Sasuke after being conned."
Aburame Shino observed, "Whether Teacher Kurenai or Teacher Asuma, both have been played by Sasuke without even realizing."
Jiraiya questioned himself, "How could my book lead someone astray?! Maybe in that world Sarutobi Asuma read my work, and her ability to converse has improved!"
Orochimaru chided, "Jiraiya, you should be a bit more discerning."
Tsunade laughed, "Seriously, Jiraiya, you think you can guide others with your writing? You're a laughingstock and the relationship between Sarutobi Asuma and Yuhi Kurenai is finished!"
Jiraiya: "You guys! Minato, tell me! Is there something wrong with my 'Heaven of Intimacy' writings?"
Namikaze Minato: "Mr. Jiraiya, please stop..."
Initially, he had read Teacher Jiraiya's 'Intimate Paradise' and learned some phrases, only to be scolded by Kushina nearly to death!
Orochimaru: "Let's be honest! Jiraiya, your disciples have seen your true level."
Jiraiya: "...Damn it! How can there be anything wrong with what I wrote? If it's so bad, then why is 'Kissing Paradise' so popular?"
Terumi Mei: "Usually, it's the singles who write the best content in this area since often, the readers are singles too."
Jiraiya: "..."
Hatake Kakashi: "...That hit close to home."
On the practice field:
Sasuke gathered Sakura, Ino, and Hinata.
"Even though the Chūnin exam is team-based, in the end, it still evaluates the combat strength of the individual."
"And remember, the Chūnin exam has a death toll. Candidates can attack and even kill each other. You must take this seriously!"
Sasuke spoke with a stern expression.
"Huh? I thought Sasuke-kun was just making an excuse to spend time with us. Is it really for special training?"
Ino was a bit disappointed. She had wanted to cling to Sasuke and act childishly.
"Be serious! I'm serious!"
Sasuke's face turned stern, and his voice was cold.
"Don't take the Chūnin exam lightly, like it's just a graduation test. A moment's carelessness could cost you your life!"
Seeing the girls shocked, Sasuke emphasized his point.
Sakura: "Yes! I'll train hard!"
Hinata: "Me... me too!"
Ino: "Woo... I understand; I'll get serious."
Sasuke softened a bit looking at Ino's pout.
"Well, the one who trains the hardest and performs the best will get to spend an entire day alone with me!"
Sasuke cleared his throat before making the offer.
Immediately, the three girls' eyes lit up, and they were filled with enthusiasm.
"Hmph! I train with Sasuke-kun every day. I'm sure I'll perform the best!"
Sakura was confident.
"I'll learn a new family secret from my father tonight!"
Ino's resolve to win strengthened.
"I... I won't lose to you!"
Hinata was eager as well. Though the prospect of spending an entire day alone with Sasuke was a bit embarrassing, she very much wanted to win the reward!
Inuzuka Kiba: "Ahhhhhh I'm going insane! Why must I watch this? Why are so many girls fighting over Sasuke?"
Aburame Shino: "First, you would need Sasuke's looks, then you'd need his talents and strength, and then you need to speak like Sasuke..."
Nara Shikamaru: "Being single is much less troublesome."
Yamanaka Ino: "Hmph, in the end, I'll be the winner!"
Sakura lacks family secrets, and Hinata is too timid.
She is convinced she will be the ultimate victor!
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