Chương 22: Chapter 22: Nightmares and Guilt III
The man let him cry, cry about something he shouldn't have been exposed to.
He let him know he was there.
Without saying a single word, he let Peter do what he should've been doing months before.
He let him grieve.
Something Peter didn't even know he needed.
...
20 minutes passed, the two simply sitting in the room as the clock ticked on the wall before the tears stopped falling and Peter finally felt air enter his lungs in something other than frantic breaths.
That suffocating and constricting feeling in his chest had been lifted the slightest bit, but the most since when the nightmare woke him up.
And although a part of him told him he deserved to feel like that, Peter couldn't help but sigh at how great it felt to have that weight lifted.
Even if it was the slightest bit.
"Parker." Peter perked up where he sat, he wiped his puffy and red eyes before sniffling and looking up at Aizawa; truth be told, he had forgotten his teacher was even there since the guy had barely said anything.
Aizawa looked him over, eyes hanging over his features before letting out a sigh.
"You feel better, right? After letting it all out?" The man asked, keeping his expression completely neutral.
Peter thought about it, he couldn't help but admit he felt incredibly better than he did before, it felt like he could actually breathe right now.
The boy simply nodded, rubbing his tired eyes while Aizawa nodded back.
"Like any other emotion does, crying releases a chemical into the brain. It makes you feel calm after you're done, that's why grieving is such an important thing to do when faced with things like that."
Grieving?
Peter wasn't too good at that, now that he thought about it.
The only time that he had to actively grieve about something was back when Ben died, and he spent much of that time distracting himself with being Spider-Man, with the only time he actively grieved was after he got arrested and spent some time with May.
He cried a lot during that, but he felt much better after.
Was that what he should've been doing?
"Not a lot of heroes have to deal with situations like that, Parker; most of the ones who do are underground heroes who are more likely to deal with darker types of crime and small-time things compared to villains destroying a city.
You were a middle-schooler who shouldn't have been exposed to that, not only that but you also completely ignored dealing with the traumatic experience you went through and thus further worsened its effect on your health."
Nodding his head, the teen simply looked down.
"You need to understand that some of the things you saw and went through while still an active vigilante, things like gunfights and drug deals among others, take a great toll on a hero."
Not responding, Peter only nodded while thinking about what Aizawa was saying.
The more he listened to him, Peter began to realize that he may or may not have a few unresolved issues he has been ignoring.
"While you don't seem to have anything like PTSD, the guilt and trauma you have do need to be addressed so they don't worsen. I will contact both Nezu and your guardian about setting you up with weekly sessions with Hound dog where you can actually address the things you've gone through, alright?"
Aizawa's voice still had that sense of neutralness and disinterest it always did, but Peter noticed it sounded gentler than normal.
He wished Aizawa was on that rooftop that night.
"So… I have to get over it?" The teen asked, tracing the scars on his forearms.
"What you need to do is to come to terms with both it and everything else like it, you need to understand that those things that happened were not your fault. You may be able to lift tons, but you are still both a human and a kid, you need time to feel better." The man said slowly.
Peter didn't know what it was, but something Aizawa said made Peter burst into tears.
They didn't feel sad, they just felt tired.
They felt … relieved.
Wiping the tears away, Peter looked at Aizawa who still had his hand on his shoulder.
"Thanks…" Peter gave a small smile, his eyes still puffy and red.
Aizawa stood up from his chair and shoved his hands in his pockets, Peter simply sat there.
"Don't mention it, problem child."
Peter raised an eyebrow at the new nickname, he guessed it was a form of showing affection.
At least in an Aizawa kind of way.
"So… what now?"
His teacher looked at him for a moment before responding. "You go to Recovery Girl's office and you take a nap, I'll tell your friends you're alright and wake you up when you have to go home; and then, you grieve."
You know what?
That wasn't too bad of an idea.
He was just so tired right now.
"Will you tell them about what happened?" Peter asked, rolling his wrist and getting up from his seat.
"Only if you want me to, it's up to you."
Thinking about it for a moment, Peter tried to decide on what to do.
Friends told friends if something was up, right?
He felt like he should do it himself, but didn't know if he had it in him to talk about what happened a second time.
"You can tell them, I just really need a nap." The boy gave a small laugh, grabbing his backpack from his locker, and headed to the door.
"Sure, you're also excused from school tomorrow if you need more time, whether you show up or not it's up to you," Aizawa informed, the teen only nodding in response. "Oh, and Parker?"
Aizawa's voice stopped him in his tracks, Peter turning around to face the tired man.
"If stuff like this happens again, please talk to your friends or your aunt; I am not good with this comfort type of thing."
Peter couldn't help but chuckle at that, he waved a small goodbye that was only returned in a grunt and headed out the door.
As he walked the halls towards the infirmary, the brunette reached into his pocket and pulled out his cracked phone.
Opening up Google, Peter searched for suicide victims that fit into Mizuku's descriptions to maybe find out where they were buried.
Paying her respects was probably gonna help with the grieving process, right?
He guessed it was a step towards coming to terms with it.
====================
Here we see Peter relieve a traumatic memory from early in his vigilante career and having to deal with how it made him feel.
Not gonna lie, kinda came up with the idea of this chapter last minute but its whatever
I didn't include as many jokes or action moments as usual cause I wanted to dive into how being exposed to things only heroes have to see affects Peter, you know? Him being so young doesn't really help him in these situations.
One of my favorite things in Spider-Man comics is when it focuses more on Peter as a person instead of as Spider-Man and how it affects him. I will probably have more of these character-driven chapters in the future, but we'll probably get there when we get there.
Cause Peter is only Spider-Man because other people are better off because of it, even if he isn't one of those people, cause Peter in this story is just a tired and stressed out kid trying to do his best to do good and help others even if his life becomes a bit worse.
At least that's what I think, you know?
And this time around he can actually talk his issues out with other people, so that's good.
...
Can you guys throw some power stones to elevate the ranking
...
If you want to read ahead of the public release, or just want to support me.
You can join my p atreon :
p@treon.com/Huvnn
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