Chương 53: 53
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Megan moans loudly as Roman massages her feet. She brought him upstairs to get him to massage her because he had offered to do anything for her. She tried not to laugh at the disappointment on his face. He looked like he was a kid promised candy only to get veggies.
"What's up with that pouty face?" She teases.
Roman's face became instantly red as he tried hiding his embarrassment. He had expected her to ask him for something more intimate and this caught him off-guard. He didn't want to show how disappointed he was but it was showing and he couldn't do anything about it. He sighed before he responded to her teasing.
"Nothing...I just assumed you wanted to ask me for something a little different when you asked to be taken to the bedroom."
Megan holds back a loud chuckle. "Intimate? More intimate than this? What do you mean?" She played dumb.
Roman stayed silent and realized he had put his foot into his mouth. His face got redder as he realized how awkward his previous phrase was. He cleared his throat and tried to act natural but everything he was doing right now was anything but natural. Once again, he tried speaking in a gentle and loving tone hoping to move on from the previous comment.
"I...I meant something more romantic. I don't know...Like maybe you wanted to kiss or cuddle? You know...stuff like that..."
Megan ruffles his hair. "Who knew my fierce boyfriend can be such a cutie?"
Roman let out a small chuckle as she ruffled his hair. He looked up at her and smiled lovingly.
"How dare you call me a cutie. I'm a deadly mob boss you know?"
Her smile drops and she removes her hand from his hair. "Right."
He saw the sudden change in her expression and instantly became worried. He put aside his act and became more serious as he asked her a genuine question.
"Is something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?"
"No. No. I just uh...I guess I am learning alot about you."
He stayed silent for a moment as he let his worry and concern sink in. He realized what she meant and he immediately had a feeling of guilt wash over him. He wondered how much more of his cruel and ruthless side she had to see to consider him different.
"Look...I know I am not perfect and I know that certain aspects of who I am seem harsh or cruel. I am still trying to change but it isn't easy."
Megan forces a smile tucking her hair behind her ear. She didn't want to say anything that he could misunderstand in anyway.
"No it's okay. I guess I am just learning alot about you. Things that I thought I could ignore suddenly can't be ignored anymore."
Roman couldn't help but notice how she was forcing a smile to make him feel better. He knew there was more to it than that and he hated the idea that he had started to make her feel like he wasn't the same man she fell in love with.
"Hey...what's really bothering you? You can tell me. We won't fight...I promise."
"I don't know...I just wonder how long you'll be in that lifestyle. Will I be able to handle it?"
Roman let out a deep sigh but he knew this was a valid concern for her. He took a while to think on how to respond and chose to speak in a more considerate tone.
"I understand where you're coming from but I can promise you that this is not something I am proud of or want to continue doing. This is something I only do it because it is the life I have always lived. I am trying to change and improve myself and be a better man. Do you think you can handle it with me until then?"
"What about you and Apollo fixing things? Last time I tried bringing your brother up you got upset...but he is your brother even if he...loves me."
Megan knew bringing up Apollo like this could make this conversation go south but she till wanted to try. They were brother's and fighting over a woman was ridiculous.
For a moment he became a bit annoyed with her for mentioning that again. Just as she said, he got upset last time she brought up Apollo. He tried to stop himself from getting in a bad mood. He didn't want to have a bad conversation with his favorite girl but he couldn't help himself. He replied in a short and bitter tone.
"We don't have to speak of my brother. If we can skip that topic I'd be glad."
Megan sighs heavily. "No. We won't skip it. He is your brother Roman!"
His eyes widen slightly as he heard her speak in a slightly defensive tone. He didn't like this conversation but he guess they had to have it. He spoke in a more agitated tone with an slight anger in his eyes. He was irritated at the fact that she was still talking about his brother.
"I said we don't have to talk about my brother Megan. Please, just leave the topic alone."
"I just want peace!"
He couldn't help but feel a little angry as she spoke. He really didn't want to continue talking about this topic but he had a feeling a part of him was gonna regret it later on if he didn't. He took a moment to calm himself and spoke in a slow and controlled tone. He was still trying to keep his anger in check because she didn't deserve him being angry at her.
"You still want me to be friendly with my brother after what he did to me, don't you?"
"He fell for the wrong woman. I chose you over him. He lost. I don't want him. I want you."
It seemed like his anger was slowly starting to subside as he heard her speak. He was still unsure about making peace with his brother but he couldn't deny that she had a point. At least right now she had chosen him over Apollo. He let out a small sigh and he spoke gently once again.
"You do know he caused me alot of pain, right?"
Megan takes his hands into hers. "Baby I know that but I know keeping hatred in your heart hurts more. Especially when you love your brother so much deep down."
That part caught him off guard. He didn't expect her to use the exact words that she did and hearing them suddenly unlocked a part of his hurt heart. She was right. He did still love his brother even if he chose to be in Denial about it. He just couldn't admit it yet. He remained silent as he stared into her loving eyes before finally speaking.
"You're right about that...I haven't admitted it yet but I still love my brother and I know that he loves me...despite all the pain and suffering we put each other through."
"I know my baby."
That soft and loving voice did it. She had hit a small part of his heart that made him feel vulnerable for the first time in a long time. He smiled as a few tears fell off his eyes. He knew right now that she really was that one special girl he couldn't live without and he loved her to pieces. He pulled her into a hug with a big, bright smile on his face.
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