Chương 6: chapter 6
Chapter 6 – Aquarium
Awoken by the sound of rapid knocking on the door, I instinctively jump out of bed and into a combat stance, ready to intercept my attackers.
Tugging on the 'string' that connects me to my inventory, I summon a dagger in each hand, solar magic flooding my body.
"Cassius~! Come on, open up!"
Hearing the cheerful voice of my cute neighbour, I release the tension from my body.
Right, I'm here, in modern Japan, a place of peace.
Returning the daggers to my inventory, I look over at the clock on my bedside table.
Seems like I've slept in.
Quickly putting on a shirt, I make my way over to my visitor as her knocking becomes increasingly impatient.
"Geez, I'm coming."
Opening the door, it reveals a familiar trio.
Dressed in matching light blue outfits, that along with their matching blonde hair, make it obvious that they are twins, are Aqua and Ruby.
Both holding the hand of their mother Ai Hoshino... or is it Hoshino Ai?
Anyway, she's wearing a knee-length red skirt and a black hoodie, as well as her usual disguise of sunglasses and a baseball hat.
"Good morning, you three. I suppose you're ready for the aquarium now?"
Lowering her sunglasses, she gives me a small wink, causing my face to heat up.
"You bet! But hey~, aren't we usually running by now? What took you so long?"
"Yeah, I guess I slept in. But shouldn't you have told me when you wanted to go?"
"Oh, I did forget that, didn't I? Whoopsie~"
She finishes her response by bringing her fist to her head while sticking her tongue out in a playful manner.
This woman!
Looking down, I see Aqua rubbing his temples with a helpless expression.
Yeah, I guess that's just how Ai is.
I feel you, little guy.
"Haa, fine, whatever. Come in, I still need to get changed."
Closing the door behind them, I see Ai lead the kids to my couch as I head into my room.
----- Ai POV -----
"So, Ruby? What kinds of animals are you excited to see? Do you think there'll be turtles there?"
Walking down the street with Ruby holding both of our hands, I can't help but glance over at Cassius.
He's different from usual when he's acting as my kids' dad.
I didn't notice the last time we went out together, as I still didn't really know him at that time.
But now, I can tell.
Gone is his usual stoic demeanor with his handsome face set in a slight smirk.
Now, he wore a wide smile, interest and love evident on his face as he looks down at Ruby.
I can't help but feel... warm when I see him like that.
Warm and itchy.
It's weird, similar to how I felt with Hikaru, but different.
I like it.
I wonder... would that be how he treated his actual children?
Or, would it be how he treated Aqua and Ruby naturally if we got together?
The thought brings up a familiar sensation, causing me to look away from his figure.
Yes, the same sensation I felt after karaoke when we held hands.
Remembering his warm hold as we interlaced our fingers, I can't help but pout at my cute daughter in envy.
"Mhmm! I want to see the biiiig fishes! Oh! And an octo-octo-"
"Octopus?"
"Yeah! One of those!"
A wide smile, one that has previously only ever been shown to me.
Mou! My Ruby is just too cute!
But for this side of her to come out...
Haa, even if it's an act, you would be a great father, Cassius.
----- Cassius POV -----
Luckily, the aquarium was close enough to not have to use the train to get there.
I say luckily as, due to my foreign appearance and popularity, I might have gotten questioned in such a high-density area.
And with the act we're trying to keep up, questions are not very much appreciated.
Reaching the teller, I pull out my phone with the tickets I had gotten on the way.
Just from the attractions you could see from the entrance, I could feel Ruby's excitement vibrating through my hand.
Jeez, did this girl never go outside or something?
Actually, considering her circumstances, I doubt it.
Well then, let's make this experience a good one, shall we?
"Aqua, come get your stamp."
As the twins are still too small to reach the desk, I pick both of them up to receive their entrance stamp, noting the surprise on his face at the ease I lifted him.
With everything now sorted, our group makes our way toward the first tank with Ruby pulling us along excitedly.
----- Ai POV -----
Having already walked past various attractions, we eventually came across an underwater tunnel, the water casting a mystical blue hue on the surroundings.
While I had gone to aquariums numerous times, that was only ever for shoots and promotional gigs, so I was never able to take the time to enjoy myself.
This place... it truly is beautiful.
While I like being an idol, standing on the stage and giving the world smiles with my lies, these precious moments of family, I like them even better.
Haa, I truly am a greedy idol, aren't I?
Just like I told the doctor back then.
That meanie, leaving me all alone even after his promise!
Ah, well, I should just be glad he never brought my secret to the public.
After all, without that, I wouldn't be able to see my sweet Ruby smile so happily and Aqua look around with unusual childish curiosity.
Seriously, how can my cute Aqua be so mature?
Like, what kind of kid calls their mom their first name?
Could it be me?
I... haven't even told them I loved them, of course, he wouldn't call me 'Mama'.
But how can I just so easily say 'I love you'?
When it's to the fans, it's fine to lie, it's a given that it's a lie.
But for my sweet babies... I don't want to lie, not to them.
When I finally say 'I love you', it will be the absolute truth.
But what if it takes too long?
Will I be hurting them?
Have I already hurt them?
Am I just as bad as Mommy-
"Ai?"
A warmth envelops my hand, making me turn toward Cassius.
Looking into his worried eyes, I feel my anxiety slowly fade as his thumb traces soothing circles into my palm.
What had gotten into me?
I hadn't been like that since Mommy left!
"You alright?"
Feeling my heart race at the sincere care shown in his eyes, I readjust my sunglasses involuntarily.
"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Thanks."
Feeling his hand slowly unclasp from mine, I reaffirm my grip, not letting him go.
What!?
D-Don't give me that look!
I know you like it too!
Looking away, my eyes fall onto Aqua, who's staring at our connected hands with wide eyes.
Uuu, stop it Aqua!
Just go back to the fish! Please!
"Well, let's get going. Can't have Ruby getting too far ahead."
Giving him a meek nod in response, we make our way toward where Ruby is as I find myself slowly getting closer to Cassius.
The romantic background of the water's glow, the slight scent of the ocean tickling my nose...
I want this moment to last forever.
As I thought, Cassius.
If anyone can help me find what love is, it will surely be you.
----- 3 Hours Later -----
Now back home, I toss off my disguise before leaning back onto the couch.
Glancing to the side, I see that Ruby is holding tightly onto the plush Cassius had gotten her at the gift shop while making her way toward me.
Turning on the TV, she then hops onto the couch and snuggles into me.
"Did you have fun today, Ruby?"
Not getting an answer, I turn to my cute daughter, seeing her face set in a complicated expression.
"Ruby?"
Meeting my eyes, she clenches her fist, as if gathering her resolve, before responding.
"M-Mama! I-Is Cassius gonna be our Papa?"
...
"Wha!?"
R-Ruby!?
Seeing her face still pensive, I calm down my beating heart and cool my agitated emotions.
Right, as embarrassed as I am, I can't just flail uselessly when she asks something so thoughtfully.
Returning to my facade, I twirl a strand of hair with my finger before answering her question.
"Hmm~ I don't know! But hey, Ruby~ Do you want Cassius to be your Papa?"
Frantically looking away, I see her ears turn red as she shuffles off the couch.
"I-I don't care! I only need Mama!"
Ah, she ran away.
But Ruby, holding that plush so tightly doesn't help to convince me.
Leaning back into the couch, I think over my daughter's words.
Being with Cassius?
I definitely wouldn't be opposed to it, the feelings I feel with him I haven't felt with anyone, even Hikaru.
I wouldn't even care if it would risk my career as an idol.
After all, this all just started as a way to lie my way into love.
But it isn't just me now.
I have Ruby, Aqua, and even the president and Miyako.
I can't make such decisions haphazardly anymore.
Is this what it feels like to be a mother?
Give up parts of your livelihood for the betterment of your beloved children?
But then... why didn't Mommy?
Was I not enough?
Haa, no, I should be thinking about Ruby right now.
Why did she say that?
Did she notice our mutual attraction?
While not impossible, she looked to be too engrossed with the animals to take notice of us.
Even on the walk home, Cassius and I didn't hold hands as we had Ruby between us-
Ah.
So that was it.
Was she wishing for a father figure?
Certainly, with how loving and warm Cassius acts with them, even I was a bit envious of his future children.
No, there's already someone who they both deserve to know of.
Even if it brings back sad memories, he did give me my two greatest blessings.
"Ruby! Aqua! I'll be heading out for a few minutes! If you need anything, Cassius is next door!"
Making my way down the stairs, I eventually find a public telephone booth.
Bringing up the old number from my notes app, I prepare myself to call the person I had not seen in four years, and the person I had not expected to meet again.
"Hey, the kids are getting pretty big now..."
----- Cassius POV -----
"Dammit, it's still not right."
Starting from the beginning, I once again try to restore a long-lost melody from my memories.
'Dear God', by Avenged Sevenfold, if my memory serves me right.
A beautiful acoustic guitar piece that blends soothing vocals and a drum beat.
While the guitar and vocals I already had down pat as this was one of Lili's favourites, the drums were a problem.
Thinking of my past lover, memories of today's excursion come to mind.
While before the main thing holding me back from pursuing Ai was her idol career, thinking logically, if someone was able to find out about her private life, she'd be screwed with or without being in a relationship with me.
And her kids don't mind me, at least, I don't think so.
So rationally, with both of us showing obvious affection toward each other, there should be nothing stopping me from going through with it.
...Yet I was still hesitant.
"Haa. Seems I still haven't gotten over you, Lili."
What the hell do I do now?
I know that she wouldn't have wanted me to stay fixated on her, nor would I want her to stay fixated on me if our positions were reversed.
But I just can't take that next step.
Was it out of guilt toward Lili?
Wanting to stay 'faithful' despite the circumstances?
Or was it for Ai, not wanting to become intimate when I was still thinking of an old love?
I mean, she already has a complicated situation with one man, so I wouldn't want to give her another.
Perhaps it's a mix of both?
Rolling my thumb across the drumstick, I eventually get up to stretch.
Well, I have some time to figure myself out.
I'd only known Ai for a week, and despite how close we'd gotten, it was probably still too soon to cement our relationship.
After all, from what I could see, she has trouble regarding feelings.
While she was wonderful to her kids, and I could tell that she loved them, she had yet to say it, at least when I could hear.
So yeah, definitely some issues there.
I guess we're both 'broken' in our own ways, at least that makes me feel better.
Could it be the cliche thing where we 'need' each other?
Ha, maybe.
But I'd still need to harden my resolve, so that's something for the future.
Who knows, maybe Ai will make the first move.
In that case, I don't even know what I'd do.
Well, I'll just let the future play out naturally.
For now, let's try this damned beat again.
Stones pls
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