Chương 5: Chapter 3 - A Woman's Journey
As the two groups split, Ao Wen paused to give Feng Xi a fierce hug. "I'll see you when I've awakened."
"I know. Now go, I'll be waiting just outside the welcoming hall. I have a surprise for you when you're done so succeed quickly."
Eventually, after a short walk, Ao Wen found herself in a large hall with almost one hundred other young women. Over two thirds of the youths who would make the attempt today were male, leaving the comparatively small group of women relieved to have a space to themselves for the undertaking.
At the head of the room stood a diminutive woman in her late fifties, barely cresting a hundred and fifty centimeters in height. Her hair, more steel gray than black, was pulled back in a tidy bun pinned with ornate hair sticks. Faint crow's feet line the corners of her eyes and mouth yet do nothing to diminish the warmth and lively wit that sparkled in her gaze.
She wore unadorned gray robes secured with a simple white sash, completely bereft of jewelry or other ornamentation. Her only nod to vanity were meticulously shaped nails kept neat through years of habitual care. Despite her small stature and the lack of finery, she projected an immense dignity born not of status but earned wisdom.
"Is everyone settled?" The woman asked. "Good. I'm Elder Dong Yu, you may call me Grandma Yu if you'd like, I'm sure that I'm far older than most of your actual grandparents," she joked with a smile. "Now, though the Honored Elder has told you of the risks that you're about to face, there is one other thing I must mention," she paused, looking slightly pained by what she was about to say. "The world is doubly unkind to women who would walk the path of cultivation. If any of you are no longer pure, I encourage you not to undertake this risk. The odds that you fail aren't much higher than if you'd kept your innocence, but the punishment for failing will likely cost you your ability to conceive in the future."
The air in the room stilled. Clearly, many of the young women were hearing this for the first time. "Even if you awaken today, your virtue remains important to your road of cultivation. Men will seek to rob you of it, depriving you of a portion of the power you've accumulated and harvesting it for themselves. There do exist methods for companions to give energy to each other, for yang to replenish yin as yin nurtures yang, but far too many men care little for women as anything more than a cauldron for their desires," Grandma Yu shook her head in sadness. "Look around you. If any of you awaken today, I hope you will use the power you gain to protect each other from those who would prey on or exploit you. Now," she paused, looking over the young women kindly. "If you have lost your innocence and do not wish to take this risk, say nothing. When the time comes, rather than lighting your incense, turn it upside down in the holder before you. I will tell no one. You will remain here until others begin to leave. To the world, you will simply have failed to awaken."
Her words were said kindly as though she understood what it meant to face this moment and this choice. "There is one other thing, but I find my throat too dry to speak the words. My daughter can finish while I take some tea."
At the back of the room, a curtain moved revealing a young woman in black and red robes, her face covered by a half mask across her eyes. Once Elder Dong Yu had left, the masked woman spoke. "The world can be cruel to women, but we're more than capable of being cruel back. If you've had your innocence taken from you, if some man has violated or betrayed you, there is another path. Place your incense on its side and I will replace it with this," she said, holding up a dark crimson stick of incense. "The chances that you awaken with this approach one in fifty. The price is that you burn away your ability to conceive in exchange for the power to claim vengeance. Whether you awaken or not, from the moment you light this, you are my sister and the Black Lilly Sect will help you have your revenge," she spoke firmly, her voice thick with commitment. "No words are needed. Your fate belongs to you and no one can take it from you. Not now, not ever again."
Ao Wen's eyes trembled listening to this woman's fierce words. What had happened to this woman to leave her so bitter? At the same time, what had she been through to become so strong to fight against it? This was the first time she'd ever heard of the Black Lilly Sect. It sounded nothing like what she'd been told about the Holy Light Abode. Was this a sect within a sect? Or was it something else? Was this why Elder Dong Yu had left the room?
Moments later, the Elder returned with a steaming cup of tea in hand. "Everyone ready then? Good, good," she gestured and several young girls in unadorned yellow robes began distributing sticks of pungent incense. "When you're ready, you may begin."
Taking the stick of incense the servant handed her, Ao Wen closed her eyes and steadied her breathing. As much as the scene before had startled her, she knew that focusing on the circumstances of the women around her, at this moment, would only hurt her chances of becoming the kind of woman who could prevent those tragedies.
Reaching out with a spirit crystal to light the incense, she paused. Was that what she wanted? To take up a sword and fight for her sisters here? She shook her head. That wasn't it.
All her life, Ao Wen remembered yearning for this moment. The stories her father told of her great grandfather the True Artist whose stone carvings could come to life and the wider world he'd traveled before returning to the town of his birth had called out to her. It wasn't the stories of the living statues that excited her, even though she'd learned her father's craft at his feet from the time she could hold a chisel and rasp.
It was the wider world itself that called to her, as though her home was a shoe two sizes too small. She knew that it took remarkable skills to see that world. True Artists, Sword Saints, Sages and Sorcerers, those were the people who commanded the wind and rain, who traveled where and when they pleased.
It felt like such a simple dream next to a noble calling like defending a sisterhood but it was HER dream.
More than that… it wasn't a dream she wanted to chase alone. Locked away in the depths of her heart, the dream she was afraid to give words to waited for her. If she succeeded today she promised herself that she'd tell Feng Xi how much she truly loved her. The dream wasn't just to see the wider world. The dream was to see it with her.
She had no idea if Feng Xi could ever see her that way. Perhaps they would simply be sisters the whole journey. If that was the case, it was enough. As long as they had each other to share the road with, it didn't matter where the road went. But to walk it together, she had to succeed today.
Sure in herself this time, she reached out with the spirit crystal and ignited the incense.
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