Chương 20: Chapter 19

Shoji nodded. He trusted his friend. No matter how badly he wanted someone or something, he wouldn't risk the life of another to get it. There was something he was curious about though.

"Hiro just offered himself to you but you rejected him." He said. "Isn't that what you've always wanted? You had him in the palm of your hand but you let him slip away. Why?"

"Oh, that." Raiden chuckled. "He caved in too quickly. It wasn't fun you know."

He took another sip, sighing at the heavenly taste of grapes. "That was not what I wanted. What he has begun to feel, Shoji is just the tip of the iceberg. I want him to know what it feels like to be completely and utterly hopeless. I want him to feel what it's like to be helpless. To have the feeling of being useless deeply engraved into his bones. I want his heart to soak in it. He can go wherever he wants, and meet whoever he wants. The bank, his former friends, whoever he thinks can help him but he'll only face rejection time and time again. It'll be like drowning but there will be no one there to help him. No hand reaching out for his own. No voice calling out his name."

With every sentence, Raiden's eyes darkened, his brows furrowed and his hold on the glass of wine went tighter and tighter. The veins on the back of his hand popped and he gritted his teeth, remembering the kinds of humiliations he had faced before he got to where he was currently.

"What you heard today wasn't the voice of a desperate man, Shoji. It was the voice of a spoiled brat who thinks he can reject me and I'll still selflessly run to his aid over and over again. It was the voice of a child who thinks he can still get what he wants without pain, without suffering, without sacrificing anything."

He shook his head, chuckling lowly. "Four years and he hasn't learned anything. Life has been hard for him but not hard enough. He's going to feel exactly what I felt. He's going to know pain and just when he thinks all hope is lost and he's going to lose his sister forever, I'll appear like some great messiah to solve all the problems in his life."

There was a mad glint in Raiden's eyes. Like he could envision his desires and they gave him absolute satisfaction. He gazed at his friend. "And do you know what that would mean, Shoji?"

Shoji sighed. He could most likely guess Raiden's plan. "He's going to feel grateful to you and do whatever you want?"

Raiden chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh it's going to be more than that, Shoji. He's going to want to spend the rest of his life making it up to me. Only then will my revenge be complete. All those years I spent licking the shoes of those conceited bastards just to gain my freedom and my rightful place in my family will not go for nought. Watanabe Hiro will pay for it all."

He knew that some part of him wanted Hiro but more than anything, he wanted Hiro to go through what he went through. He wanted Hiro to know just how much damage he had caused in his life when he sent him to the Juvenile centre. He wanted revenge and that, he would get.

No matter what.

Shoji sighed, shaking his head. "Can you bear it though?"

"Bear what?" Raiden asked, pouring himself another glass.

"Can you bear to hurt him? To watch him suffer?"

Raiden scoffed. "What are you talking about? Hiro has been suffering for four years now. If I can bear that, I can bear hurting him for a few more weeks."

"Yes, but I thought you wanted him," Shoji said. No matter how much Raiden wanted Hiro to suffer, there was still a part of him that wanted the boy he couldn't get years ago. "You're still attracted to him, aren't you?"

Raiden knew he couldn't keep anything from his best friend. "I am attracted to him, Shoji. I don't think I ever denied it but attraction comes and goes. It won't get in the way of my goals."

Shoji chuckled. Knowing his friend, his attraction for Hiro would definitely get in the way.

Raiden wasn't the kind of man that would give up easily. Especially not over Hiro whom he had been obsessed with for years.

Well, Shoji felt it wasn't his problem anyway. Raiden would do whatever he wanted to do. All he had to do was watch the show

********

"You still haven't told me how things went with Raiden," Michi said, blowing the steam rising from his cup before taking a sip of his ginger tea. "He's going to help, isn't he?"

Hiro's head was lowered. He was staring at his tea, eyes red and swollen from crying all day. "No, he's not and I don't wanna talk about it Michi," he said. His voice was raspy and dry. He coughed a few times to clear his throat. "Just know that I hate Raiden."

Michi sighed, understanding what Hiro meant. He stretched a hand over the table and held Hiro's, rubbing it gently. "It's okay Hiro. We don't have to rely on Raiden. We can get money elsewhere."

"But where?" Hiro asked, raising his head to look at his friend. "Where Michi? Where? Look at me. I'm no longer the Watanabe Hiro you knew before. My surname doesn't mean anything anymore. I am nothing Michi. Nobody is going to help me. I've gone to everyone I know but no one is willing to help me. I've been to so many banks but they won't give me a loan. I've thought of everything I could possibly think of. I can't get 5 million in such a short amount of time and my sister has only two days left. There's nothing I can do."

"Don't talk like that, Hiro," Michi said. "Don't give up so fast. I'm sure your brother will think of something."

"Does my brother have to be the one to do all the work every time?" Hiro asked. He hated how he couldn't do anything to help Sora. "I want to lighten his burdens, Michi. My brother is going through a lot and I want to help him but I'm just so useless. I couldn't get a single dime."

Michi sighed deeply. "You're not useless. Just don't give up so soon Hiro. Anything can happen in two days."

He knew getting such an amount was impossible for Hiro but he just wanted him to remain positive. A miracle could happen at any second.

He wondered why Raiden refused to help though. If there was anyone who could clear Hiro's worries, it was Raiden. He figured that even if Raiden didn't have feelings for Hiro anymore, he should at least consider the fact that Hiro was his junior in high school. Couldn't he help a junior? Or was this some sort of twisted revenge?

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