Chương 9: Deadly wine: Dead memories
.....
"It is here again, I've be forever trying to avoid, I've ran, but it awoken now...
It creeps me out, it hunts me, it's my past...
The memories"....
...
We finally arrived!....
The ride was bumpy, the air was cloudy, but cool, but still we made it, and my eyes finally drifted up, it watched.
I watched all of their slender figures coming out of the train, as they screamed excitedly, they were joyful, glad, happy, cheerful, but it was the opposite for me....
All I felt was dead, lifeless...Pardon!, I am still dying every second, nothing on earth can ever change that....
How tragic is it..15 years, it been 15 years ago, but still it can't fade away, it can't leave me, I am hunted by this...
It still fresh, I still remember like the back of my hand, never in a thousand years would I know I'd find myself back here again, but here I am, back again...
No one knows what I've been through, no one...
My dull eyes slowly drifted around, as I could see other maidens giving me a mocking look, but I care less...
Not because I wasn't pretty enough they did that, but because of the simple fact I've already learnt to forever accept, I would never be able to change my cursed fate.
I was an outcast, pathetic and stinking right now....
I would never belong, nor would I ever fit into anywhere, no matter how I try, no matter what I do.
There was no hope, so I did it, I gave up trying, I gave up fitting in with my messed up life, I gave it all up.....
"I beg your pardon, but aren't you going to get down" The voice whispered out as my eyes slowly trailed up to meet....
It was a woman, bright eyes, she brought me out of my thoughts, as I could feel anger rising through me, but yet again, there was nothing to be angry for, she was right, I was meant to get off sooner or later...
My mind tells me, as I stared into her bright eyes one last time, as I tried feeling my legs...
It was heavy, it was shaky, it also didn't want to face this bitterness to, but still I had to be strong now.
I can't avoid to be weak, My mind whispers out, as I finally stood, slowly bringing myself out of the train, I faced the hell fire once again..
Slowly lifting up, my eyes traced round the kingdom, as I watch my heart betray me, as I watch my heart bringing back old memories that lies deep beneath my soul, memories that kills me every single time...
I ran away from those memories, but now they're awoken, I can't stop it now, even if I tried.
My heart beats, as I could feel pain slowly clenching my soul, but now I can do nothing, absolutely nothing to make it go away...
Now I was useless compared compared to my thoughts...
I shouldn't have came here...My mind tells me, but it was already too late...
I remembered...My bleeding past, no one helped, no one at all...
....
"Agatha, stay with me, please....
"S...she's... bleeding a lot Richard, she's bleeding....
"Please don't panic, I'd do... I'd do something I swear, she won't die, no, she won't...
...
All those words rang into my young mind, Dying was I... Everything was falling apart, everything did...
I was living, I survived, but yet again everything died before my very eyes, nothing was spared, nothing at all...
Crying?, I did a lot of that, nothing ever did favoured me at all, life messed me around, they messed me around, they crushed me completely, I can never forget that...
Never!...
Few days after all I could hear was sobs, as my precious papa, his body was found...Half dead, half beaten up, took to the medicine man, but he never did made it, he never did survived, neither did Mama...
How ironic it was that one was taken to the medicine man, but two died there, both of them left me, they left it all...
Their bodies carried away like some nobody's, everything came crashing before my very eyes...
It was all because of them....
Smile and joy knew no way up my lips any more, all I had left was my hatred, I have kept burning all this years and now it would be fulfilled finally...
But still, I knew a day would come like this when I would finally awaken old memories and bitter history...
I knew a day would come like this that I would recall all this pain and suffering, it was bound to happen, I don't regret anything, cause now they would all bleed twice as hard than I did...
They would all suffer, I swear....
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