Chương 74: Grilled Shark
Tenshi looked up from behind the counter, smiling "Hello!" Shylarly looked at him and swam over, she was huge!
At least 17 feet!
Tenshi looked at the occupied space worriedly, he really had to expand the cafe sooner rather than later… He sighed to himself, maybe tonight then. Shyarly was not happy, saying angrily, "You stole one of my waitresses?!"
Tenshi was dumbfounded before frowning slightly, "She was MY waitress first!" Shyarly snorted, "And who are you? Just a little cafe owner! My Mermaid Cafe is the best Cafe in the world!" Tenshi paused before holding out his hands, "Hold on. Hold on just a minute."
He took a deep breath and Kakashi sighed, everyone looked at Shyarly, saying in unison "Sorry, Ma'am." Shyarly was confused and Tenshi looked up at her.
She understood in an instant.
Tenshi started, "Best cafe in the World? Please don't joke around here. Your so-called Cafe is only on one island with Fish-Men and Mermaids who have no idea what good coffee tastes like. Do you even serve Coffee? Probably just squid ink water, right? Sounds like a good plan, serve sludge from the Kraken and claim it's coffee with your abysmal coffee making skills. Honestly to even call your Cafe a Cafe is a disgrace to cafes. If I had to taste your coffee, I'd probably die from disgust. Then I'd roll in my grave as my body recalled the taste post mortem, contorting in disgust from the everlasting after taste."
He walked out from behind the counter and looked up at Shyarly, continuing "But please! Continue your delusional take on how your cafe is the best in the world, please. I need a laugh. If you continue for long enough, maybe it'll magically come true! Not to mention, if you really go on for so long, I'll laugh myself to death. Just like Zala's Spider Cafe, your coffee is a borderline hate crime. I should form Interpol and have you arrested for War Crimes. This is the most ridiculous statement I've ever heard in my life."
He shook his head, walking away, "Come, let's see the greatest Cafe in the world, actually I can't wait. Recently, I've been wanting to talk to my mother in heaven, maybe I can have a chat with her during the coma that follows after a sip of your potion of instant death. So big, so beautiful, so many lies. You own a Mermaid cafe and sell poison calling it coffee, I'm pretty sure the customers only come for the Mermaids, right? Do you even have any sales? I highly doubt someone would subject themselves to such excruciating torture just to look at beautiful women with fish tails."
He waved his hand and continued with a sigh, "Not to be that guy, but as an Angel, I can only say that your delusions will not get you through the gates. Even God can't tolerate such a lunatic who thinks squid ink can be substituted for coffee. Imagine selling dark water, tainted by squids and octopuses alike, claiming that it tastes good! Best Cafe in the World? This has to be a joke, even Whitebeard is laughing from the grave. Not even BigMom would drink your coffee and she eats anything that moves, even things that don't! Gol D. Roger can hear the Voice of All Things and even the coffee itself told him to run quickly. Whitebeard was dying and even he wouldn't drink it. I bet Kaido comes for a coffee to instantly sober himself up. Coffee? More like Poisonous Snake Oil tonic."
He dragged Shyarly out of the cafe by her tail, going down the plank, laughing "Hey everyone! Come to Mermaid Cafe, our coffee will take you to Heaven! Literally!"
Shyarly was like dead ashes, just laying there in a daze. Why was this guy so mean!
The Customers shook their heads and sighed, Kakashi lamented "These flames are gender neutral!" Haku laughed and Karin smirked "Where does she get off saying the best cafe in the world? She deserves it for being ignorant!" Haku looked at her strangely, "Oh? Not upset about being Kidnapped anymore?"
Karin paused before pushing up her glasses, "Nonsense! Of course I'm upset!" Haku rolled his eyes, "Oh… yeah… yeah for sure… Anywhere except the Grass Village, right?" Karin snorted, "Where?"
A Grass Village Ninja was in the cafe and cried, really! Where indeed! They got annihilated! But did they even exist in the first place? He didn't even know anymore…
Conis said softly "Ah… So mean." Vivi smiled and shook her head, "Tenshi-san is like this."
Alber chuckled to himself and followed Tenshi, who was flying to the Mermaid cafe, dragging Shyarly behind him with a coffee slime rope.
They came to the Mermaid Cafe.
The Fishmen looked at the scene with bulging eyes, was this guy dragging Madame Shyarly by the tail???? Now they were curious.
Tenshi wrapped her up and said "Oho! Let's see how great this best coffee in the world is!" Shyarly broke free and glared at Tenshi, who snorted "What. Don't look at me like that, I'm not responsible for unrequited love! Especially not by liars who sell poison and call it coffee!"
Shyarly said angrily "It's not poison! My coffee is good!" Tenshi waved his hands and said with an exaggerated face full of sarcasm, "Ohohooooohhhhh… Now I'm convinced!" Shyarly was going to suffocate from anger and shouted angrily "YOU'LL SEE!" as she swam into the cafe.
Tenshi looked at Alber, pointing his thumb at Shyarly with an expression of 'Can you believe this chick?' Alber's lips twitched and he chuckled softly. Tenshi walked inside and waved at the Fish People, smiling gently "Hello! I own a cafe by the shore line, you should stop by!"
The Fish People were dumbfounded, advertising?
IN FRONT OF SOMEONE ELSE'S CAFE?!
This man had guts, they respected that.
Tenshi walked into the Cafe and Shyarly made Coffee herself, snorting angrily.
Tenshi sat at a table, crossing his legs as the Mermaids looked at him, smiling happily "Hello~" Tenshi smiled gently, "Hello! Are any of you looking for a job?" Shyarly shouted angrily, "Stop poaching my cute waitresses!" she was grinding her teeth and glaring at the coffee as though cursing it.
The Mermaids were startled and covered their mouths, suppressing their laughter.
They had never seen Madame Shyarly so animated. Usually, she's always acting mysterious…
As Shyarly was making the Coffee, Jinbe ran in and shouted "Tenshi-san!" everyone looked at him, he sighed in relief and asked quickly "Nothing happened, right?" Tenshi was dumbfounded, "Do I look like a treacherous person?"
The Mermaids sitting around him, shook their heads and Tenshi looked at Jinbe in confusion. Jinbe looked at Alber warily, why was this guy here?!
Tenshi waved, "Jinbe! Come sit down. Don't worry about Alber-Oniichan." Alber was stunned, "Oniichan?" Tenshi nodded, "Oniichan." before turning "Anyway! Would you like your future told?"
Shyarly cracked her teeth from anger, disrespecting her coffee, stealing her shtick! How low will this damn bastard stoop!?
Jinbe sat down in a daze, "I-Uh-Okay." before coming back to his senses, saying sincerely "Thank you for saving, Ace-kun." Tenshi gave him a thumbs up, "No problem. Show me your palm."
Shyarly snorted "Palm reading? What a novice!" Tenshi turned his head, smiling gently "Oh? Is my squid ink poison ready yet?" Shyarly glared at him, "I will spit in it." Tenshi jumped, looking at her carefully before turning back.
He knew a lot of people who might actually prefer that she did…
Tenshi wiggled his fingers, licks of flames, caressing Jinbe's palm. Tenshi was really just pretending but said "Oh! You have an exciting future ahead of you! You will join the Pirate King's Crew as the Helmsman and break off from BigMom's crew. However you won't actually formally join the crew until the big battle of Destiny!"
Jinbe was blank, not understanding a single word.
Tenshi continued, "Let's see, hmmm… Ah yes, you will be vital to the Pirate King's crew, an important member without which, the crew would be sad and captured several times… I see! Yes! You will meet a woman, who is not a Fish-Man!"
The mermaids gasped, "Not a Fish-Man!? So magical! Wow! Congratulations Jinbe!" Jinbe himself was stunned, not even knowing what to say… He came here to thank Tenshi and see if he needed any help on FishMan Island, all of a sudden, his future lover was revealed.
Tenshi added, "Ah, you will be there to witness the birth of Joyboy." Alber frowned, "Don't joke about these things, Tenshi." Tenshi sighed, "How many times do I have to tell you!? I'm not joking!" Jinbe was confused, "Who's Joyboy?"
Tenshi said "Luffy." Alber said "Kaido." A mermaid said "Me."
Everyone looked at her and she giggled, "So fun!"
Jinbe ignored her and Tenshi smiled, "Congratulations, Jinbe! Where is my coffee…?" as Jinbe was thinking about what this future meant, Shyarly brought the coffee. Tenshi looked at it and she snorted "Well? Prepare your palate."
Tenshi pinched the cup with a napkin, replying "It's been prepared along with a coffin." as he took a sip. Shyarly almost exploded in rage but held back to get his reaction.
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