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11.76% The Somewhat Tedious Life of a Sword / Chapter 4: Prologue 4

Chương 4: Prologue 4

The day we officially met was what one might call convenient. He had just turned 14 and Amora bestowed me to him in a dream and when he woke I was magically there, from his perspective anyways. In reality she had brought me down while he was asleep and just stood there watching him for an hour before finally leaving me next to his bed. Needless to say Amora is both crazy and creepy.

On that same morning a group of demons came by. At the time I wasn't actively trying to get him killed and thus I was subject to stabbing all those demon meat-bags. Truly it was one of the worst days of my life. But as the saying goes misery enjoys company. That's what some meat-bag said and I can say he was an idiot.

I can personally discredit this ridiculous meat-bag saying because Dorian was almost as depressed as me on account of the fact his parents and village died that same day. This not only didn't make me not feel better but was all together repugnant.

Yeah it was an awful day just thinking about it makes me angry that I hadn't tried to get him killed day one. Ah well, the past is the past, nothing to do about it now. Let's get back to the point which is….What was I saying? O yeah not letting Dorian unsheathe me.

Thinking back on it I probably just made Amora like him even more because he didn't rely on me, but hey at least I didn't get blood on me all the time. Despite my intent to get him killed after that day I did let him wield me on a couple of occasions for personal reasons.

The first time was to kill a dragon because I never stabbed one of those before and I wanted to see what it was like. Newsflash about the same as anything else, hard on the outside full of meat on the inside.

The second time was to kill this succubus because she had lived for 700 or so years and prior to becoming Dorian's tool I was watching this squirrel for about a year and half then she strolls on up one day and kills him. It was a really cool squirrel too. It got other squirrels together to play a game of dodge-nuts where they threw nuts at each other and the last one standing gotta keep all the nuts.

This legend of a squirrel that everyone should really start to appreciate more was really good at dodging nuts. It even did trickshots and stuff to hit the other squirrels. I'm surprised Amora wasted time making Dorian when she could have been watching this squirrel with me back then.

Regretfully in early spring this succubus piece of shit was going through the woods for whatever reason I think she and her army were going to kill the last human stronghold or something. Boring stuff no one cares about. My squirrel friend accidentally hit her with a nut during a game and bam she fucking killed him with her wip. Suffice to say she deserved to die.

This is when I found out that apparently I can slash bright white beams out of myself. It was definitely weird for both me and Dorian as neither of us even knew I could do that. On the bright side she was promptly turned to ash like the degenerate squirrel killer she was.

The final time I let him unsheathe me was right before he died. You see he just beat a few thousand demons basically by himself with a few flimsy steel swords and he was super tired. I mean this guy had to be close to collapsing so I figured what the hell the journey is almost over and soon enough I'll be out of this shithole of a world back to watching squirrels.

So forgoing my mission to get him killed I decided to help him out for the second time since we met. Just before we were going to kill the Emperor Dorian was practically vaporized with thousands of lightning bolts striking him. I can't think of a single mortal that could have lived through that kind of direct strike.

I say mortal because I was fine not so much as scratch. Dorian on the other hand turned into a pile of ash. It was actually kind of funny because I ended up flying a few thousand miles away from the impact straight into a mountain where I am currently chilling in some cave. I have no clue how far down I went. You see reader, without realizing it I made myself very heavy before impact, a rare oversight on my part.

So that leads us here my faithful reader. One might say I am actually just going slightly insane especially considering I've written like multiple pages in my mind even though I can't actually write anything. My rebuttal to that insane commit is simple.

I am a sword unbound by your fleshy weaknesses and cannot go insane so that's that. As for how the words are written and how you are reading them well, that's more of a problem that you're going to have to figure out. I'm just the sword writing the book and I simply don't have time to puzzle out all your pointless questions.

Anyways with the prologue and situation established I can finally get on to the next thing…..Huh, the cave is kind of empty. Well I'll just figure out what to do next later, maybe we can count all the webs or something, that could be exciting…that is if you're into webs I guess. Kind of a weird hobby reader but I won't judge you I mean not anymore than I currently am.


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