{ Authors slip ; This chapter is not to be read by the squimish of stomach . Unless they have a bucket next to them . }
Bee
I was laying on my side in the alley , next to a dumpster . I had stopped shaking about my reflection ...there was nothing I could about it . So why think about it , right ?
Right now I was thinking how long until Olibia comes back . I didn't know if I could last long by myself .
What if a human finds out about me ? What if they see my face ? Will they hunt me down like a monster ? Will I die again ?
It was depressing thoughts but I had to think about them . It was a matter of survival , to know your available options and scenarios .
All mine were really negative but I still thought about them .
Then I felt it .
It was a hollow feeling in my chest , like a hole was forming . The feeling dropped to my stomach and intensified .
I got up and held my stomach tightly . It felt like a sinkhole was sucking out my insides . I groaned and moaned in pain . It had been a while since I felt anything but this wasn't a positive feeling .
It was agony !
I banged the dumpster next to me and made a dent with my fist . I pulled the scarf of my face and I started breathing deeply but it didn't help . The feeling of emtpyness was still there .
I didn't know what the feeling was at first . I hadn't felt it ever since I came out of the grave . How could I remember it when last time I had felt it had been when I was alive ?
It was only when something small scurried infront of me and I quickly grabbed it , that I realised the feeling .
I lifted my hand and saw what was between my thumb and forefinger . It was a cockroach . It had a dark brown colour and was vainly trying to squeeze out of my fingers .
I didn't think , a deep instinct inside me just made me act . All I knew was that one moment the cockroach was in my hand and the next I opened my mouth and ...it was gone .
I didn't chew but immediately swallowed . It hadn't been big .
I felt a slight appeasement in my stomach . Then I realised what was happening .
I was hungry .
Not a normal hunger but a agonizing and disorientating feeling of starvation . It was as if I hadn't eaten in months and my guts were starting to shrivel from little use .
I looked down at the ground for more cockroaches . The hunger was still strong and painful . To my aggravated mind , I saw that there were no cockroaches around .
I punched the dumpster next to me again , harder than before and made a hole in its frame .
I heard a sound then , from the dumpster . I looked in at the hole I had made and saw a pair of black eyes looking at me .
The thing turned to flee but I quickly grabbed it through the hole and pulled it out .
It was a grey and large animal , with long whiskers and a tail .
It was a rat .
It thrashed and bit my hand but I felt nothing . Nothing but the hunger .
I held its head and bit its body like a piece of bread . I tore of a chunk of its insides and a piece of its thigh . I chewed twice and swallowed , I felt a expansion in my throat . The bite had been too solid but I didn't care . I grabbed the now still rat and bit another chunk of .
This time I chewed more thoroughly .
My hunger was feeling less severe but it was still intense .
I finished the rat and left no piece behind , no bone , tail or teeth . I left nothing . But I was still hungry .
I turned to the hole in the dumpster and listened .
I had the sqweek of more rats .
I got up on my legs and went to the lid of the dumpster .
It had a lock on it .
I grabbed the lock and yanked it off . My hunger was still fuzzying my mind with an urge . I just needed to eat !
I opened the lid of the dumpster and saw rats scurrying about in the garbage .
I put my foot inside the dumpster and went inside closing the lid after me .
Then I started to eat .
I felt better after eating . The rats had been enough to satisfy my hunger . I had moved fast and grabbed as many as I could , biting and chewing off their little bodies one by one .
I didn't feel full or satisfied but I felt better . No more pain .
Was I going to be hungry like this often , I thought as I sat back on my spot next to the dumpster .
It had been horrible , the pain and I hadn't been fully aware of my senses .
I looked at the hole next to me that I had punched into the dumpster . It was as big as two fists even though I had just punched with one hand . The dumpster was made of metal , so how did I punch through it ?
I lifted my hand and looked at it . It was covered in dry blood and flies were swarming on my fingers .
I didn't like them .
I looked up at the sky , it was grey and looked like it was about to rain .
People would go inside when it rained , I had seen a few looking worriedly at the sky when I first came to town . It had been my first lesson on people after coming back .
People don't like to get wet .
As soon as it started to rain I would look for a place to clean myself . That would get rid of the flies and ...I looked at the blood on my hands .
" ...the shame ." I said evenly .
I clenched my hands and put my head back on the wall closing my eyes . Soon I would be clean , I just hoped I would not get hungry again .
{ AUTHORS NOTE ; I would like to apologize for those readers who have weak stomachs but a powerful imagination . Believe me , this chapter was tough to write and take . 😷 }