Chương 21: Share Your Pain

His expression changed when he saw her face. The last thing he wanted was for Alira to fear him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I just thought you want to know.

She nodded and took a deep breath.

"Yes. But I'm not ready to hear it. I can already imagine what you did." She said.

Caden didn't say a word. He felt guilty making her remember what happened twelve years ago.

"H-How did you become the boss?" She asked.

Caden sighed. "When I got rescued, I'm on the brink of death. I felt like I was on a cliff hanging to my life and almost give up on living. I felt so useless because my legs were crashed. Everyone thought I wouldn't be able to stand or walk again. Then I remember I made a promise. I told myself, how could I leave without even saying how I really feel about you. Then Lucas sent some pictures of you. That's when I decided to start therapy. I could never accept that I was defeated just like that. I wanted revenge." He paused.

"My grandfather talked to me and told me about his retirement. He said he didn't have a successor. He knew I hated the mafia but he said I could never taint my hands with blood as a crown prince, but I can do it as the boss of the Forelli Clan."

"So you just agreed?"

"He gave me a day to think about it. He said he saw how I struggled to get back on my feet. And how I fought to stay alive. I was introduced as the next Boss of the clan even though I was only sixteen. Training was harder than my prince's lessons. I was taught to fight, use weapons, and how to be tough. I am the next boss so I shouldn't show any fear. They should fear me."

She stood up to take a glass water. Everything wasn't easy to accept. There were still a lot of questions in her mind that she couldn't say.

She drunk the water and turned to face him. He was staring at her, waiting for her to say anything.

"I read a book about the mafia and it says to become a made man, you have to—" She paused.

Caden nodded. "Yes. And I did."

She bit her lip and sighed. "How about sex? I also read it's like an initiation."

Caden chuckled. "Yes. But I didn't do it. Grandfather didn't ask me to do it. He knows I already have you.

She saw truth in his eyes so she was relieved.

"Are you required to have those tattoos to be the boss?" She asked and then sat back on the bed.

He shook his head. "No. It's to hide something. Here."

He took her hand and put it on his neck.

"One of Benjamin's men slit my throat. And this." He moved her hand to his chest and then his belly.

"This is a stab wound and this is a gunshot." He said.

Then he strengthen his right leg. There was a dragon tattoo that she didn't notice earlier.

"My right leg was hit the most. The bones broke so I had to undergo surgery."

Alira was shocked. She couldn't believe Caden suffered so much. She covered her mouth so he wouldn't see her trembling lips.

"I really thought I was going to die, but you know I am alive because of you. I heard your voice and I saw your face that day, you were crying. So I fought death. I told myself that Alira will be sad if I die. Besides, I have a promise I needed to keep." He said while wiping the tears that started to fall from her eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't know. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me most." She sobbed.

He held her hands and kissed them. "It's not your fault. I didn't have the courage to tell you. I was scared that you won't like me anymore. Everyone said that being alive and able to walk again was a miracle."

She didn't know how to comfort him. Or at least lessen his pain even though it was too late. She leaned forward and kissed him on the neck.

Caden was surprised by what she did. His eyes widened when she moved her lips to the scar on his chest. But when she brushed her lips down to his belly, he held her shoulders to stop her.

"Alira, if you do that, I won't be able to control myself." He said while looking directly into her eyes.

She saw a mixture of love and lust in his eyes. And she had the same.

"Then don't" She whispered.

Caden was taken aback. He wasn't sure if she was serious about it. He took a deep breath, still trying to control his desire.

"You don't know what you're talking about. If it's out of pity, then I don't want it." He said.

She bit her lip. She was offended by his words. Did she just got rejected? Now she knew what those men felt when she rejected them.

"It's not pity. I want you to share your pain with me. I want you to touch me and I want to touch you." She said.

Caden scratched his head. "Alira, I want it too, but—"

Before he could continue, she crashed her lips with his so he could stop talking. She wasn't sure if he would respond, but when she felt his lips move and his tongue entered her mouth, she felt happy.

She was panting when they stopped kissing. Caden was staring at her as if memorizing every detail of her face.

Then he stood up in front of her. Her eyes widened when he removed the robe covering his body. Her head was tilted up and she was looking directly into his eyes.

She gulped then started to look at his naked body. Aside from the tattoos on his neck and chest, he also had one on his arm.

Then she took a deep breath when she turned to look at his crotch. She bit her lip and couldn't believe what she saw.

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