Chương 162: Chapter 163: I Want To Be Loved By You Again
You can read 505 episodes for $10. p.*atreon.com/Astrid02
༺ I Want To Be Loved By You Again ༻
"...Ugh."
Lulu's eyes quivered as she turned the pages of the diary.
[xx Year xx Month xx Day]
[Yes, I must confess. I was too dependent on Lulu. She has her own life, but I disregarded that and tried to control her too much. So, it was only natural that something like this happened.]
The harsh and intense words that had filled several pages had vanished, replaced by calm and tidy script.
[She must have endured a great deal as well. After all, my obsession for her was unimaginably overbearing. Continuously imposing a distorted relationship with her, when I was meant to be the subject of everyone's hatred, was nothing but my own selfishness.]
"Ah…"
[I understand. I do. However, I still need to express my affection for her. I was so close to erasing the Stigma of Misfortune. It has practically vanished, so I just need to put in a little more effort.]
The subsequent orderly lines conveyed a composed tone.
[I must bring a happy ending to her, who is more wretched than anyone else.]
After taking her eyes off the diary's concluding words, Lulu, biting her lips hard, whispered,
"…I didn't know that."
Now, she recollected the hazy memories of the past.
.
.
.
.
.
Lulu had always yearned for love.
"Mon-Monster… You're a monster…"
"M-Mom…"
However, what was so simple for others, was an incredibly difficult wish for Lulu.
"Get out! Get out of my house!"
"…Eugh."
When she was barely ten years old, she was driven out of her home. The reason was quite self-explanatory; unfortunate events incessantly occurred around her.
And it never stopped, for this pattern persisted throughout her entire life. It did not matter what situation it was, as ill fortune followed her like a plague. When she tried to make a living off the streets, she caused harm to anyone who helped her. When she tried to find work, her workplace burned down. When she tried to find guardians, they mysteriously vanished. And when she tried to make friends, they were affected by her own misery.
The misfortune that slowly engulfed Lulu denied her any taste of 'happiness.' By the time she entered the academy, she felt cornered, on the brink of giving up entirely.
"…Lulu, from now on, you'll be my pet."
However, an unexpected turning point entered her life.
"Lulu, this is your room now."
"Do you want to eat something? Just tell me, I'll get it for you."
"Your clothes and accessories. Of course, if you want something, I'll get it for you."
"I told you not to harm yourself. Let me wrap the bandage for you, come here."
Frey declared his ownership of Lulu as his 'pet' and showered her with infinite love.
"…Lulu, you're my pet. You're just an existence that follows my orders. Your sole duty is to quietly accept my adoration."
"Who gave Lulu such food?"
"Where are you going, Lulu? I told you you can buy anything you want, but you must come with me when you go outside."
"You belong to me, Lulu. You're my possession."
However, that love took on a rather twisted form.
"I'm sorry, Master Frey."
Hence, even though Frey was the one who first introduced her to love and lifted the 'Stigma of Misfortune'…
"I don't think I can be with you anymore."
One day, when Frey was particularly unkind to Lulu, she left the Starlight Mansion.
"Lulu…! What are you…!"
"… You are the one who has been tormenting Lulu all this time, aren't you?"
"R-Ruby… why are you…"
"Miss Lulu asked for my help. So, she will stay with me from now on."
And thus, she entrusted herself to the Hero, Ruby.
Ruby revealed the dangerous and abnormal traits of Frey, who had persistently sought to be with her, and that revelation shook Lulu's heart.
"…Thank you for everything you've done for me."
Since then, Lulu had received love not just from Frey but also from everyone.
As a proud member of the Hero's Party, she received attention, affection, and envy from all her classmates. Her analytical skills earned her high praise and adoration even within the Hero's talented group of individuals. Among them, Ruby, the Hero, especially cherished her.
"Miss Lulu~! Try this~!"
"Oh, that's… um…"
"It's okay! You can eat as much as you want!"
During meals, Ruby always treated Lulu to delicious food.
"Great job in today's battle! Miss Lulu is the core of our party!"
"Oh, y-yes…"
Despite the nature of her abilities that confined Lulu to a rear position in battles, Ruby never hesitated to praise her whenever a battle was over.
"Oh my… so you were treated like a pet at Starlight Mansion…?"
"W-Well… you could say so."
"Miss Lulu is not a pet! She's a full-fledged human being! Someone capable of thinking and acting independently. A person!"
Rather than the warped relationship imposed upon her by Frey, Lulu formed an equal and free relationship with Ruby.
"Lulu, you did great today!"
"Do you want to have dinner together later?"
"Lulu… Can you help me with my homework? It's about magic circle analysis…"
Just like that, Lulu obtained the happy daily life she had always yearned for.
No longer did misfortune haunt her, and there were no more people harboring resentment or forcing love upon her.
Her surroundings were filled with happiness because people genuinely liked Lulu and showered her with the love she had always craved.
Therefore, when Frey tried to approach her again, she had rejected all of his advances.
She ignored his calls and letters.
It was because, amid her newfound happiness, there was no room for Frey.
[Yet, to give her a truly happy ending…]
Yet, Lulu had now come to realize something.
[I indeed have to deal with Ruby]
All the happiness Lulu had enjoyed so far was just an illusion.
[Ruby, who covets Lulu's magic eyes, is secretly plotting something without Lulu's knowledge.]
"…Uuuu."
Lulu tightly clenched her fist as she reread the passage repeatedly.
[If I get rid of Ruby, the illusion created by her influence will disappear.]
As written in the diary, all the happiness Lulu had experienced had been nothing more than an illusion.
Ruby, who outwardly appeared to give Lulu love instead of Frey, actually desired her Magic Eyes and was desperate to kill Lulu.
Of course, the Demon King would receive a penalty if she attacked first.
So, Ruby attempted to reactivate Lulu's weakened 'stigma,' by driving her towards suicide in order to take her 'Magic Eyes'.
"…Ah, everyone, Miss Lulu is coming. Please follow my instructions."
"Y-yes…"
"But why are you doing something like this…?"
It was there that Ruby began her most skillful manipulation.
"Miss Lulu's self-esteem is too low… If we don't do this, it could hinder the party's efficiency…"
"Ah… I see…"
At the same time, Ruby asked Lulu's classmates to pretend to get along well with her.
"I'm sorry… Am I causing too much trouble…?"
"Oh, no! As long as you need it, Hero…!"
"By the way, what's going on with Lulu? Does she have low self-esteem because she joined the Hero's party?"
"…Yeah, it seems like even the Hero is having a hard time."
Unbeknownst to Lulu, Ruby was sowing discord and tarnishing her reputation the whole time.
[Once the illusion disappears, her stigma will naturally disappear too.]
"Huft…"
As Lulu read Frey's calmly recorded words, her expression gradually darkened, and she released a heavy sigh.
[And as the effect of the Stigma of Misfortune becomes completely neutralised, there will be plenty of people in the world who will adore the charming Lulu, besides the selfish me.]
"N-no, it's not true…"
[If she can live a happy life, surrounded by love, and is able to close her eyes without suffering like she did in almost every cycle, I will be satisfied.]
"I'm telling you it's not true…"
[Of course, I feel the same way for everyone else too. I hope they can flourish in the world that I've built, live happily, and gradually forget about me.]
"Ah…"
After Frey's records about her ended, Lulu hung her head, her face pale.
"The one who truly loved me…"
After lingering in that position for a while, she whispered with a trembling voice.
"…It turns out Frey is the only one who truly loved me."
"I've finally realized it now…"
Her gaze shifted towards the faint remnants of the stigma that was still present on her shoulder merely a few days ago.
"Wait… What is this?."
Her eyes widened in shock.
It was because the 'Stigma of Misfortune,' which she believed had lost its effect because no more unfortunate events had occurred, suddenly started regaining its vividness.
"When I cut my finger on the diary… Could it be…"
The reason was simple.
Following the revelation that 'Frey Raon Starlight' was the Hero and 'Ruby' was the Demon King, the reputation of the 'Hero Party' had plummeted .
Of course, even if the whole world hated her, as long as there was at least 'one person' who loved her, there was no reason for the stigma to become vivid again.
"Then, truly no one…"
In other words, presently, there was no one…
"No one loves me…?"
There was no one who "loved" Lulu.
"Aaaaa…"
In a sense, this outcome was natural.
The entire world remained ignorant of the detailed truth and only held fragmented information, leaving them with no other option but to form a negative perception of her.
And the people who treated her kindly in the past had all been under the sway of Ruby's manipulations.
Ruby's affection had been insincere from the beginning, designed to snatch Lulu's Magic Eyes.
Certainly, the members of the Hero Party genuinely cared for Lulu, but…
"This… This is… My curse… this kind of influence…"
"Hehe… Frey. Is this how you plan to defeat me?"
As they learned the whole truth, the members of the Hero Party had their focus redirected or their mind broken. Thus, they could no longer give affection to Lulu.
"Euh…"
Once again isolated and abandoned, Lulu, her eyes devoid of life, reached for the knife resting on the dining table.
– Slide…
"...…"
After hesitating for a while, she carefully extended her arm and made a shallow cut on her skin with the knife.
– Ssk
"Akh.. ugh…"
Then, as an unexpected surge of pain coursed through her, Lulu finally realized.
"Ah…"
The self-harm, which had previously served as her sole refuge and provided a temporary respite from the world, no longer offered her solace or release.
"Lu-Lulu, what are you doing?!…"
"...."
Furthermore, the concern and attention caused by her self-harm only led to superficial sympathy.
– Clang…!
Despite realizing this, Lulu, with trembling eyes, attempted a few more times to cut her arm with the knife.
"Ugh…"
Feeling even more pain and despair, Lulu ultimately let the knife slip from her grasp and muttered,
"…I want to be loved."
However, there was no longer anyone in this world who could genuinely give her that love.
Even though she was more than aware of this fact, Lulu continued to utter these words with a vacant expression.
"I want to be loved…"
Although she did not utter a name, her words carried a clear meaning.
"By you again…"
Unbeknownst to herself, Lulu found herself craving the love of Frey once more.
"I want to be loved…"
"…Ah."
However, as she spoke and shifted her gaze away, Lulu suddenly turned silent.
"....."
Frey was no longer here. He would never come back. And… the sole trace of him was a scabbard filled with glistening soil.
"I… I want to see you again…"
Lulu's vacant voice drifted aimlessly through the void.
"Master Frey…"
.
.
.
.
.
Meanwhile, at the same moment.
[00:01]
In the dark room where a countdown remained frozen at one second.
"….."
As he silently observed the world from that room, Frey began to murmur in a faint voice.
"… I'm certain I destroyed the diary."
"Father's return, the heroines regaining their memories, and even Ruby returning to her original form…. everything is just so strange."
While maintaining a poker face, Frey turned his gaze towards two sisters as he said,
"Also…"
"Sister, you've held on for quite a while, haven't you? I've told you to stop this useless resistance. You're obstructing my view."
"I will never… I will never give up… I can't bear to see my creations suffer any longer…"
The desperately resisting Sun God fixed her gaze upon the Demon God, who wore a cold smile.
"Even if I have to trade all my divinity for your annihilation… I'll make you…!"
"Just give it a try~ If you're really able to do it."
Seeing this, Frey mumbled in a cold voice.
"…This is really starting to piss me off."
Frey touched a small necklace given by a certain scroll merchant long ago.
You can read 505 episodes for $10. p.*atreon.com/Astrid02
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