Chương 35: Awareness
Ever since Henry came to this world, he had been planning for the future he thought he knew. He could not find a difference in the Muggle world. His experiences in the wizarding world were in line with the film world.
The experience Dumbledore had given him made him guess that this world was not the world he recognised. Jarvis' report proved it. Henry had been an ordinary man in his past life. He believed he knew the darkness of the world. He was just learning the difference between knowing the darkness and experiencing it.
He realised that most of his actions since coming into this world had been paranoid, foolish, and naïve. What he didn't realise was that the consequences would be so devastating. He was killed at the end of his three months at Hogwarts.
The mystery behind his revival was already making him uneasy. There was also the mystery behind his coming to this world in the first place. Henry had rushed to get stronger and died again. Being tortured had broken him.
His already broken mind was even more broken. The reason he spent so much time in the simulation and tortured himself under the name of 'training' was to escape from thoughts by suffering. Now he did not know what to do with the realisation he had reached.
Henry thought long and hard about what he came to this world for, what he wanted to achieve. The story of this fictional world was not as he knew. Maybe he was supposed to be the saviour of the world? Henry did not have a character that could be a hero. He was selfish, introverted, sceptical, faithless, and cowardly. These were not the characteristics of a hero.
Henry was well aware of himself. Even the goals he set for himself at the beginning were about staying away from society and taking advantage of them. Although Henry did not care much about the purpose of the being who sent him to this world, he was curious. What he did for his own goals was ridiculous.
He shouldn't have built the impenetrable occlumency shield in the first place, but he did. What he did to keep a low profile was even more ridiculous. He was very tense and a perfectionist in every action. Even the way he changed and used the inviolable oaths was problematic. The results were indisputable, but it was becoming very doubtful that he could have them in the first place.
In fact, he knew the reason for all his actions. He never felt safe. Even if he had experienced the migration he dreamed of, the thought of being in the eyes of a being like God was very frightening. He knew the problem of trust, and the fact that he had experienced such a thing made it worse.
The feeling of not belonging and the thought of being in a situation like in a film he watched or in a novel he read did not leave his mind for a second. On top of all this, there was a change in the plot that he thought he did not know. Henry was on the brink. Suicidal thoughts began to form rapidly in his mind.
His rationality and perception of reality eroded day by day. Although thoughts of revenge against Dumbledore distracted him for a while, they were no longer enough. Henry was sitting on the sofa in his mind, holding his head between his hands and looking at the floor.
"I can't commit suicide, I don't want to die again, I want to stay alive, I want to succeed, I want revenge, I can't commit suicide, I don't want to die again, I want to stay alive, I want to succeed, I want revenge." Henry was mumbling.
He was trying to convince himself. He had many suicidal thoughts in his past life. He had never been on this borderline. Henry started to sway on the sofa. He was experiencing moments that would be a turning point in his outlook on life.
"How do I know I'll die if I commit suicide? I've already died once in this world. I woke up on the Hogwarts Express. This body was never mine, even my soul could be like a horcrux. Everything is full of so many unknowns. All I know is that somehow I'm still alive. I'm trapping myself inside my mind, I can't live like this." Henry said to himself.
He had stopped swaying. His surroundings had changed. He was standing upright in the middle of the endless green plain and looking at the sky. Stars were shining in infinite space. He was still inside his mind. He was the god of this place, unwittingly changing the environment according to his mood.
His lost rationality began to return to him, and he began to think about his life.
"It doesn't matter that the story, the world and the future are different. I am alive. This is the most important fact. I don't need to be afraid of what the future will bring me. I am talented enough and have more than most. What I know already gives me more than enough advantage. As long as I act carefully, no one can stop me from reaching the point I want in this world." said Henry.
He got rid of the pressure he had put on himself without realising it. His mind was now calmer.
"The world is not as dark as I thought. I could be in a much more difficult situation. I can still easily access a lot of resources. The only thing that is limiting is my magic power and time." Henry thought.
In this world, Dumbledore was a dark lord. He manipulated everyone around him and pursued a hidden agenda. The surroundings were more mysterious and full of darkness. These situations were not insurmountable. After all, this was the magical world. As long as you had enough power, you could even change reality.
"Jarvis, can you shadow my memories with Mark I's during the time I'm in control?" asked Henry.
"I can, Sir, in real time, I can simulate your mind from Mark I's point of view and place it in your supermind based on your actions," said Jarvis.
"well, from now on I will be in control at all times, handing over control to you when necessary. Mark 1 will be in simulation at all times to hide my actions and memories. Restore Mark I's character trait in case my mind is read as a result of my actions. I want him to be a clean-hearted and curious boy who is dedicated to the magical world in order to forget the loss of his parents." Said Henry.
"Yes, sir. What should I do if an attempt is made to alter Mark I's mind?" asked Jarvis.
"Keep me informed of the change and we'll act accordingly. For the rest of the mind attack, analyse each attack." Said Henry.
He took control of his body again. Now, under Jarvis' guidance, Mark I was exploring the castle. With each step, he would send small pulses of magic into the environment and receive information on his return. It was a magical version of the technique used by Toph in Avatar Last Airbender to see the environment. It was a method Jarvis created specifically for reconnaissance. Thanks to this method, they were getting information about the magic done to the environment.
Twenty per cent of the castle had been analysed by now. Henry only needed to walk. Jarvis was doing the rest. Jarvis could control Henry's body, his magic on his own. His magic pulse technique was a wandless spell. It required minor magic. Even if Henry was in control, Jarvis could take control of his magic.
Henry walked slowly, taking in the magical sights of the castle. He thought about what he wanted to achieve and what he could do in this world, the obstacles he would face and the obstacles he wanted to deal with.
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MCOverse
MCOverse I couldn't write because I was sick last week. That's why the chapter upload was late. It also blocked me in the way the story progressed, but I decided how I should proceed. This is my first novel, and I'm writing and translating in my native language. It's a bit tiring because I'm doing the translation process myself. Your feedback really increases my enthusiasm for writing. Don't forget to comment and review, I would appreciate power stone. From now on, I will publish a chapter daily.
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