Chương 20: 19-Collared.
I wasn't strong enough, I gave up, I couldn't take it much longer without him, I was hurt, but now what to do, how do I go with Andy when things are this bad here. Andy's holds me close, I didn't want to let him go either, his lips came close toward my lips, touching mine, a kiss, a kiss that got me to melt in his arms, a touch I missed.
"I love you, Nova, stay with me" he says, the words I wanted to hear from him, but what about Lucifer. "I can't" I say tears going down my face, we weren't the same now, he's a demon and I'm a half-werewolf, my mom sacrificed me to Lucifer who's the king of hell. "Why can't you Nova, we'll live the life we always wanted to live" he says, I wanted to say yes, I wanted to stay with him, but Lucifer, I knew he's not going to let me go.
"I'm not the same Nova, I'm not the same girl, I don't even belong to myself," I say with tears falling down my face, I knew I'm giving up, but I'm realistic, you can't run away from the king of hell, I heard the stories, I felt the pull toward him, deep inside I believed him and that hurt even worse. "Look," I say pointing to my collar, a collar that I couldn't take off, he growled seeing that, he tried to pull it off me, but even with his claws like nails, he couldn't take it off me. "Stop Andy, this won't work" I say more tears going down my face, this was too much. "Who collared you?" he growled, sounding like an animal, not the Andy I loved once. "Lucifer" I say, with a sad smile.
"Nova!" he growls again, but I just shake my head at him, this is my last chance with him, and I want to say goodbye, the goodbye I wasn't able to say before. "Just hold me" I say hurt, holding him close, he obeyed still growling at me, but not letting me go, I laid my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat, they were different. We both got back on the sofa, this must be where he sleeps, he pulled me on top of him, the place doesn't fit us both, it hardly fit his large body, I was sleeping on top of him. His hand went to my hair, brushing my hair, petting my head, breaking my heart over and over again, this was an old Andy move but it's not him, not anymore.
I closed my eyes enjoying the feeling, saying goodbye, but also being exhausted, I needed the sleep now. I slept off on top of Andy, he must have slept too, he started snoring another old Andy move, but it's not him, I tell myself over and over again, I should just say goodbye and leave, this isn't my place, not anymore. I woke up later that night, I couldn't sleep in, his body wasn't that comfortable, and I'm in a really bad mood now, I wanted to say goodbye first to Andy, I landed a kiss on his mouth, on his cold lips, saying goodbye. Earth isn't the place for me, I prefer to take my chances with Lucifer again over staying here with him, he left me while he could say something, he allowed me to live through the pain depending on my strength. I'm stronger than Andy, I said my goodbye, I gave him that at least, I got out and left the room, I have to find a way back to hell, maybe just find a demon that would agree to take me?
I walked through the building, it was even scarier now that I'm alone, but I need to leave, I need to get back to hell, I was searching for some demon, really anyone, just one that could get me back. I found one, I guess I'm lucky, I walked toward the not-so-nice-looking demon, but he wasn't looking at me, I tried to clear my throat to get his attention, but he still wouldn't look at me. "Uhhh...excuse me" I say trying to get his attention, pulling on his sleeve. "Excuse me mister demon" I say again, this time he does turn back to me, he's looking at me with a raised brow. "Yes?" he says on the verge of laughing. "Can you please take me back to hell" I ask politely, I could be polite sometimes.
"Hell, it's not a nice place, are you sure you don't want to stay here with me?" he says licking his lips. "No, I'd like to go back home" I say, the demon looks at me like I've grown a second head. "Home? Hell isn't home" he says with a laugh, but hell was my home now. "Yes, I belong to Lucifer see" I say pointing to my neck, the collar was still there, the demon does look at it. "That's not enough proof little girl" the demon says laughing, he's enjoying this. "Uhhh, I have a feather...I took it from Keiran, would that be proof?" I ask him, now his eyes have gone wild again. "A feather?" he says, I nod and start searching through my bag until I found the feather and showed it to him. "It's real, how did you steal it?" he says looking at me like I'm crazy, trying to snatch my feather but I pull it back.
"Nu-uh, it's mine, you want it, take me to hell," I say holding the feather back. "Or I'll take it" he says coming close to me but I had my own tricks, he really thinks I'm that stupid. "Try and I'll ruin it, take me to hell" I say placing the feather in my mouth ready to bite it off. "Fine" the demon says.
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