Chương 21: Chapter 21: Season
It was slow, but gradually I started having the "training" sessions with the other men. I had a strong hunch that Seokjin was the mastermind behind it all, they all approached me at different times all with small things.
Taehyung loved physical touch. He started with small things: leaning on my shoulder, and playing with my fingers. I knew the image wasn't a bad one for our purposes. His position at my shoulder placed his tall frame lower than me physically in correlation to our perceived positions in the social hierarchy.
His constant playing fingers and my ignoring it would play into the fantasy of a boy desperate for the care and attention of an authority figure. I know that's how people would choose to interpret our actions, but that's not what it meant to me.
He was leaning on me, not because of a need for support or my need for validation that the opposing gender was indeed beneath me, but because it was comfortable for him. And it was comfortable for me, I wanted for them to be able to lean on me, I wanted to protect them I wanted their trust. I didn't have it yet I know that. But these little acts of trust meant something to him and to me.
Playing with my fingers wasn't him seeking attention from me nor was I truly ignoring him, we simply took the comfort we needed. We had memorized each other's limits and safe words, we spent hours together dissecting K-dramas and reality TV shows. In safe familiar company what need is there for words or even knowing looks?
It surprised me when Yoongi requested a session, request was being generous. These past couple of weeks Yoongi wasn't antagonistic, but I could hardly call him friendly. So I could be forgiven for my shock when one evening he burst into my office with a plate of sliced fruit balanced in one hand and promptly told me that he wanted to hand-fed me said fruit.
Before the session began he was very exact in what he wanted me to do, and how he wanted to ask for more or certain types of fruit. Open my mouth a small amount and tilt my head towards him for more, the image of a baby chick opening his mouth for its mom to dump regurgitated worn down is throat was ushered into my mind unbidden. I had to choke the laugh down, Yoongi was very serious and meticulous about this. I refused to encroach on that with some ill-timed humor.
Luckily we moved on, I felt rather awkward the entire time. Me and Yoongi didn't have the easy rapport that I had with some of the others. So I was uncomfortable in such an intimate situation especially when he had made very particular instructions before and then the dynamic was turned on its head when the session started.
The awkwardness broke when an urgent email came in about a malfunction at one of our manufacturing plants, our brand although well-known for our customizable bracelets a lot of profit came from the products that were mass-produced cheaper and still well-made. With most of my focus taken by the screens in front of me opening my mouth for some sweet treat seemed more natural. When the mess was finally resolved an hour later, the plate of fruit was gone and so was Yoongi. He must have snuck out near the end because I could taste the last slice of strawberry he had given me.
I found that I enjoyed the experience: it gave me hope for a future friendship with Yoongi.
It wasn't a surprise when Namjoon came to see me, he was an incredibly intelligent man with curiosity to match this evidenced by the way he had swept through all the books in his room and immediately requested a library card so he could access the library's database on his bracelet. He had also been a quick study when it came to our business lessons, given time he would become a true terror in the business world and I wholeheartedly supported this future.
While he studied with Seokjin and me it became clear that he lacked the social know-how vital for trusting the right people and getting what you wanted while ruffling as few feathers as possible. He was well aware of the deficiency so it was expected that he was curious and proactive about participating in sessions with me. However, it was his strong interest and pursuit of the older style of etiquette popular about 200 years ago.
Back in those days, it was common for men inducted into women's household to serve as bodyguards. Their job was to anticipate threats and remove them with minimal disturbance to his mistress, in that time period a well-trainded man who could do this without movement or a word from his mistress was considered a treasure. "Threats" at that point was a broad term. Their duties included everything from removing physical threats from the premises to distracting his mistress' "friend" after a few snide comments.
With his intelligence I'm sure he would do it well given time and experience, the problem is it would be difficult to give him experience if I were to hold true to just having one-on-one sessions. Even with the men present it would be difficult to prepare him for all the intricacies of the socially elite. I wasn't comfortable enough yet to consider having these sessions with more participants, however we could start with him learning my body language. The emphasis on intuitively knowing what his mistress wanted without word or deliberate action would require an extensive knowledge of the way my body reacted to certain stressors.
He was free to look at me at any time, but having his intense gaze on me as he tried to track all of my micro-movements and expressions was not something I felt comfortable having on me 24/7. So for now I would restrict him to short, isolated sessions in different situations.
None of the sessions had gone poorly and I was getting much more comfortable with the men living in my home. The feeling of dread for these sessions had been lowered and it made me curious about when the other three would decide to participate and how. I was looking forward to it.
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