Chương 49: Chapter 2 Part II
Once lunchtime came around, everyone went to eat. Lately, I've come to believe that dining with friends is actually the most difficult aspect of student life. Take Kushida Kikyou, for example.
She's extremely popular and has many friends, both girls and boys. She gets in-person invitations, along with constant invites over the phone and through email. Even though she's unable to respond to everyone and sometimes has to turn people down, when she eats with friends she appears to have a real life.
On the other hand, you've got people like Ike and Yamauchi, who aren't very popular with girls. They eat with their group of guy friends, including Sudou and Hondou, almost every day.
Meanwhile, I don't really belong anywhere.
I'd say I'm friends with Kushida. I'm friends with Ike and Yamauchi, too. Though I eat with them on occasion, I wouldn't say it's a frequent occurrence. Generally speaking, it's the kind of relationship where the other party asks, "Want to have lunch?" or "Are you free after class?"
I didn't really mind near the start of the school year. Before I'd made any friends, it was only natural that I would be alone. However, now I was experiencing a strange phenomenon: I had friends, yet I was still on my own. It was an uncomfortable experience.
If I happened to be absent on a day when we formed groups for a school trip, I'd possibly end up left out. Did they all consider me a low-tier friend? Or was our friendship all in my head? Those were my thoughts.
Nervous and anxious, I unintentionally looked at Ike and the others. I'm over here, guys. It's okay for you to invite me. My glances were filled with selfishness and anticipation. I was flooded by feelings of self-loathing. Reminding myself that I should know when to give up, I averted my gaze. Pathetic scenes like this played out daily.
"You're still not used to it. You're as pathetic as ever, Ayanokouji-kun."
My neighbor shot me a somewhat cold look.
"You seem completely used to solitude," I replied.
"I'm quite fine, thank you."
I meant to sound sarcastic, but Horikita took it as sincere. The majority of our classmates had already formed their own groups, but a few students were still all alone. That offered some relief. Horikita wasn't the only loner; Kouenji spent most of his time alone, too. On first starting here, he'd enjoyed the company of girls from other classes and grade levels. However, once he ran low on points, he began to spend most of his time in the classroom.
He was the sole heir to the Kouenji conglomerate group, one of the largest corporations in Japan. He didn't love solitude, but rather, loved himself and cared little for others. I respected that he didn't seem bothered at all by being alone. He was currently completely lost in examining his face in a hand mirror, his daily routine.
Aside from him, there was a quiet girl with glasses. At one time Ike had made a ruckus about how large her breasts were, but because she was considered plain, everyone quickly lost interest. She was always alone, and I'd never seen her talk to anyone. Just the other day, she'd been eating by herself, hunched over her bento box. She was one of the few students who made her own lunches.
Just then, my neighbor took a bento box from her bag and opened it. Lately, Horikita had been making her own lunches rather than going to the cafeteria, too.
"Doesn't it cost quite a bit and take a lot of effort to make your own lunch?" I asked.
Although they weren't exactly high quality, the free meals offered in the school cafeteria were a form of relief for students who'd used up all of their points. There was no merit in a homemade lunch, which consumed time and your own points to make.
"I'm not sure about that. The school supermarket provides free ingredients, you know."
"Wait, so you made this with free stuff?"
Horikita simply opened her bento in response. It didn't have much in the way of meat or fried foods, but it looked tasty.
"Don't tell me. Not only are you a bright scholar, you're an accomplished cook as well? That doesn't seem to fit your personality."
"Anyone can cook by looking up a recipe in a book or on the Internet. Our dorms come equipped with all of the necessary tools, as well."
Horikita didn't waste any more words trying to impress upon me how much of a genius she was. She simply took out her chopsticks. I guess it all seemed so obvious to her.
"But why did you decide to go through the trouble of making your own lunch?" I asked.
"The cafeteria is noisy. It's much more relaxing to eat here, wouldn't you say?"
Toward the start of the year, many of the students had gone to the cafeteria to buy bread or lunches, but facing a shortage of points an overwhelming number of students got the free meal set. Looking around, I could see that only a few students remained in the classroom.
Was this Horikita's preferred environment? One where Ike and the others weren't around?
"Do I already miss riding the big cafeteria-bound wave of students?"
"You're always staring out at the ocean, but you don't have a surfboard. You lack even the determination to ride the wave, don't you? And you talk about missing it? You're awfully full of yourself."
I wished I had a comeback for that, but I couldn't argue. I just wanted her to cut me a break.
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