Chương 23: C23: Vaughn
[ Sunday, October 9 ]
The sound of doorbell gets my attention. It's 9 pm. Who will visit us at this time of night? Most people are on their way home and throw themselves on their bed after their long day.
I put down the bowl filled with apples, bananas, and some pears on the table in the living room that I was supposed to bring in my room upstairs. Fruits became my healthy midnight snacks. That may sound weird for others but eating healthier foods might – hopefully – make me healthier. My disease has no cure and I guess maintaining a healthy body might help at the very least. It's still a big question in my head why I even deserve this kind of rare cancer. However, thinking about it often would just drain me so I better keep an optimistic mind. It helps.
I opened the door and headed to our gate. My eyes widened and my jaw nearly dropped as I see who the visitor is – Amethyst, standing right in front of me, her eyes swollen. I rubbed my eyes to see if I wasn't daydreaming. As I blink, Amethyst is still there, her lips sealed as if hoping that I'm the first one who should break the ice.
My heart sank as I realize that my eyes aren't fooling me. Without any word, I pulled her towards me, securing her in my arms. I held the back of her head and she rested her head on my shoulder and broke down. She wrapped her arms around me and I feel her heart beating fast as if someone who got tired after a heavy physical activity.
"I'm so sorry, Vaughn. I'm sorry," she stuttered as she said those words which I assumed, she already knows the entire story of what happened the last time we saw each other.
"It's okay. Let's not talk about those things. They no longer matter now, it's a part of the past," I replied as she pulled away. I held her cheeks to wipe her tears but she cried even more. Amethyst held my hand and took a breath to compose herself.
"We need to talk about everything," she looked down as if finding the right words for her next words. "If you won't mind, can I stay here just tonight? Do you have a spare room?"
"You remember Eleanor, my older sister who's already living in the Netherlands with her husband? She has a room here although it's a little messy because that room wasn't used for long. I'll sleep there and you can sleep in my room. C'mon, let's get inside." She nodded and I picked up her bag.
As we got inside, my mother's eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her hands in shock as she saw Amethyst. Amethyst smiled a bit and bowed her head for a second.
"You're really back!" mom said as she walked towards us. "You surely have lots of stories to tell," she added.
"Mom, if you won't mind, we'll talk about serious matters so, we have to talk in private. She'll stay here for one night and I'll use Eleanor's room for once."
Mom didn't say any more words and Amethyst followed me upstairs. We entered my room and sat on the floor, for I have no chairs in my room. The floor is clean anyway since I vacuum it at least thrice a week.
"I want to apologize for what happened. I'm sorry if I broke your heart, I swear, it wasn't my intention." I began. The memory of what happened replayed in my mind. Everything was devastating and are eyesores, but at least it's getting fixed little by little. "I have to ask you something, though."
Amethyst looked at me in the eyes. "What?"
"Do you still love me?" I feel like I want to hear her answer but at the same time, I don't want to know. I looked at her left hand's ring finger to see if she's still wearing the round-cut cubic zirconia ring in rose gold that I gave her when I proposed. My heart skipped a bit when I see that it was still there, without any damage.
"I think this ring answers your question," Amethyst smiled, exhaustion filled her eyes from her long trip. I believe we shouldn't talk for long, she probably needs rest. Only if I can say, 'I want to hear from you the answer to my question,' but there's no way for me to force her or tease her, I believe this isn't the perfect timing for jokes.
"I suppose Summer already told you about where I was. I was in Edevieth with Shawn Barron. That night, I was crying while driving and I couldn't think straight, without any direction to go. Then when I was in that bridge, there's a car on the opposite direction and since I wasn't in the right lane, I steered my wheel too much which made my car fall into the river. The one inside the other car was Shawn. He was supposed to meet Summer in mom's party but he decided to jump into the river to save me even though he's clueless about who I am. We were brought to the hospital and got discharged fast. I begged for him to bring me with him because I no longer want to go back to the life I used to have. Of course, he refused, but I managed to convince him for a price. I had no idea about the price that he was talking about but out of desperation, I agreed." Amethyst paused which gave a big question mark in my head why she stopped. I believe she wants to tell me more.
I narrowed my eyes. "Price? Like what, money?"
"Shawn doesn't need money. He's the son of the politician, James Barron. He's basically a guy who swims with money. He always sees things in a bigger picture and apparently, he was talking about Summer. But for now, can I ask for some water? I'm a little thirsty."
I stood up and walked out of my room, heading downstairs to get her some water. My mother and father were there waiting which is surprising because I thought they're sleeping already. "Are you two … waiting for me?" I asked.
"Kind of. What's going on? How is she?" dad asked.
I took a glass and filled it with water. "She's just explaining about what happened when she was gone. Our conversation won't last for long, she needs some sleep because it's been a long day for her. I'll sleep in Eleanor's room because my room is better. Eleanor's room is a little dusty so I have to vacuum it a bit before I sleep there."
Mom nodded, a hint that she already gets what I mean. "I see."
As soon as I got the water, I went into the living room to take the bowl of fruits and brought it with me upstairs for Amethyst to eat just in case she's hungry.
When I opened my room's door, I found Amethyst holding the picture frame on my bedside table which is a photo of us when we went to the beach. She looked at me when she heard the door open and put the picture frame in its place and we both sat on the floor again.
"Here, some water and fruits. Just tell me if you need anything else. If those fruits aren't enough, I can come with you downstairs. I can cook something for dinner."
"No, no. These should be fine. Thank you," she drank the water and took a bite of one of the apples.
"So, how come Summer's what he wanted as a payment?" I asked, continuing the conversation that was cut earlier.
"Shawn is Summer's boyfriend if she hasn't informed you. They kinda separated and having me in Edevieth means I can contact Summer to come there and they'll talk to mend things. Apparently, that happened."
I believe that's everything that I need to know. Other details can be discussed the next day. "I get it. Good for them then." I commented.
"Shawn is here too and he met up with Summer. He probably stayed the night in our hotel. Now, I want to know what happened to you. You don't know how much I got worried when Summer told me about your health condition. You … have this rare cancer called Chordoma, isn't it?" Amethyst almost hesitated to say the last words, and worry filled her eyes as if she felt bad about me.
"That's true, unfortunately. Your parents said that they're willing to help me with the financial support but the operations that I need aren't all available in the country. They said they can bring me to the US, but I said I'm not leaving without you."
"Why?" she pouted and squeezed her eyes shut, holding herself back from crying once again. "You shouldn't have waited for me."
"I just wanted to make sure that I'll see you. I believe that's half of the cure that I need." I explained. Amethyst ran her fingers through her hair and cleared her face that was covered with hair earlier.
"I'm here now. We'll go there as soon as possible," she promised, although she has no idea that it's easily said than done. Sure, we can have the tumor removed. But it reoccurs, it comes back. It's like another way of trying to lengthen my life even if it's like delaying my death. I want to live life to the fullest but I don't want to push it too much, especially if my body can no longer function as well as before. After all, death is a part of life.
"You know it reoccurs and having those treatments won't cure the entire thing, right?"
"You make it sound like you're losing hope," Amethyst commented, which is true. I no longer know where I am supposed to get the hope that everyone is telling me. I want to believe that it's possible but it's just hard to imagine. "You can survive this, Vaughn. It's just … a test of faith."
"Are you still willing to marry a dying person?" Just like earlier, I want to hear her answer but at the same time, I don't want to. If in case she'll say no, well, acceptance is the key. I can't blame her for that. I don't see the sense anyway.
"Of course, we should just fix things, make everything clear and have you treated. Although I'm afraid we can't do that by the end of this year as planned."
I forced myself to smile even if it drains me. "That's good then."
When my time comes, all I can do is to give a little legacy to her – memories. I can never forgive myself if I'll hurt her ever again. Having everything discussed now felt like a thorn got removed from my flesh and I can't be more grateful than this. Having her back is a blessing, even though I know that things won't be easy as I'm hoping things be.
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