Chương 78: Volume 1 End Author’s Thoughts + an Omake ‘Author’s Reaction’
A/N: Feel free to skip this long ass non-chapter. It won't really impact your read-through of the story much.
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Author's Thoughts:
Thank you very much for reading Volume 1 of "When I woke up, I was in an Eroge World!" web novel! I started this as a way to procrastinate from my real-life stuff and as a fun little project but have really taken a liking to the story. It is so fun to work on my own web novel, rather than reading them… well, it's fun most of the time, anyway.
This story has somehow already taken over 300 hours of my life in the last 3 (or so) months. Yet, I wish I could say this story was worth every second of it or the great and fun read I originally envisioned it to be. Far from it, in fact. It's not that great. There are so many issues with it, so many negative points that the readers don't like.
But that is to be expected from an amateur author like me, I believe. I'm supposed to make mistakes and hopefully learn from them as I go. Of course, having to do writing, editing and whatever proof and beta reading I can on my own in real-time is not an easy task, especially when I'm only doing it as a hobby and not as a full-time job, I still feel I've put a lot of effort into it and have created a decent story so far. And am very proud of it, regardless of what others say or think of it.
Still, I'm really glad to have you guys reading my subpar creation, experiencing what little I've managed to show you guys of the world of Criotopia. But there's so much more to it, so much that I haven't explored, that I haven't shown you guys and so much that I, myself, don't yet know about. The world is still a mysterious and empty slate, for most parts and it'll take a lot of time and chapters to get explored. I like to believe my world is filled with a lot of potential things, but I won't be able to bring them all out properly. I'll be happy if I could get even some of it out to you guys.
It is my responsibility and job as the author to …
[Editor POZ's notes: Removed crap nobody cares about coz this is getting way too long and sappy.]
Well, regardless, I'll see what I can do about it in the future. I'll take things slowly and steadily. I don't want to fuck up this story and turn it into an incoherent piece of crap that people drop after reading a little… assuming I haven't already done so. Hopefully not. But even if I have, oh well… I'm fine with what readers I do have.
[Editor notes: Removed more crap. Jesus, you write a lot, Author me.]
Anyway, I'm really happy to have people reading this story and many of you seem to even like it.
The positive and uplifting comments and reviews, the good feedback, and the support you guys have given me mean a lot to me and are likely what has kept me going for almost 170k words, which is about the length of this first volume. This doesn't include any A/Ns or A/Rs. Only the story. Huh. So many words, yet so little has happened. Man, I see how web novels can be hundreds of chapters long now.
Anyway, I guess I should stop rambling. I have a lot more to say (as usual) and even things that I should be saying but can't remember right now, but it's whatever. I don't wanna make you read the (already) lengthy non-chapter for too long.
So, I hope you guys stick around and watch me fumble, fall and grudgingly continue this humble web novel. And hopefully, one day, in the distant future, reach its conclusion in the best possible ways.
If I could finish this novel, that would make me very happy. I would have accomplished something. And if in the process, I managed to keep you guys entertained even a little, it would be enough for me.
I'm not a professional Author. I've said this again and again…
[E/N: *Blah blah blah* I'm a noob *yadda yadda yadda* I suck at writing, so give me a break sometimes from your crap, some of ya ungrateful readers. *More blah blahs*. Jesus! That's way too many words, ya dummy! Nobody's even reading your long-ass rambling anymore. Other than me. :/]
Alright, let's finish this rant/monologue/rambling/note/essay (whatever it is) here.
[E/N: Thank fuck!]
Once again, thanks for reading my novel and I'll see you guys in Volume 2, whenever that comes out! :D
[Yeah, bye. :/ … Wait, why is there more content ahead?! Fuck, I quit! *Throws the keyboard on his moniter.* *Instantly regrets the decision* This guy talks too much! I'm not editing the shit below. Do it yourself, you ranter Author!]
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Omake (E/N: Is that what it's called? I have no idea.): Author's Reaction to MC's death.
A/N: Everything from down below is NOT CANON and is written after the ending of chapter where MC died. Originally, it was supposed to end on a cliff where I only showed that MC died and didn't tell what was going on, but expecting the backlash and also not really seeing the point of all that unnecessary suspense, I changed the entire scene and added that last bit to make it clear (E/N: coz hot damn(!), people are so fricking quick to start complaining on stuff…what? I'm not editing the entire thing. This is the last paragraph.). Anyway, don't take it too seriously and it's not a spoiler either.
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[You have died.]
The System's notification informed me, even though I was no longer alive to listen to that.
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..
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"What the hell just happened?! (O.o) My MC just committed suicide?! (O.O) WTF?! Wait, this is the end of Volume 1?! Huh?!?!? Seriously, what is happening??!! Who's making this weird stuff up!? Aaaaa! I'm so fucking confused!!!!" (E/N: So, now you know where the MC gets his habit of rambling and monologuing. From his god, A.k.a, me! Or the Author me. Trust me, you haven't even seen the worst bits. The Author Me has watched too many crappy anime and read too many shitty mangas and so my sense of humor is… well, pretty fucking bad. What he thinks is comedy/humor is what people call cringe AF. Hopefully, I've not leaked too much of it in this story. Anyway, keep reading. And yes, I'll have to keep editing it too. I have no free will. I'm his slave. :/)
*Three hours of confused shouting and rambling later*
"Well, shit."
'Apparently, my MC committed suicide. And the volume ended. I still had plans, though. Damn it! What about all the new Waifus and the juicy lemons—I mean, what about all the important plot and character development and shit that was supposed to happen in this volume?! (Coz this is totally a legit story and not some wish-fulfillment plot. Totally not!) And I had so many things planned for the next volume too! (E/N: … not really. :/ ) Where the fuck is my ADVENTURE ARC?! Don't tell me it was only 4 and a half chapters long?! Fucking fuck, what is this inconsistency, bro?!'(E/N: You tell me.)
*2 more hours of rambling later*
"Okay, change of plans."
[A serious change of plans is indeed needed.]
'Oh, Iris. Hey! Good to see you here. Help me out, please?'
[Sure thing, God of Creation.]
'Don't call me that! The readers will misunderstand!!'
[But you are the creator of this story and world and everyone inside it, so it's only fair to call you by that title.]
'Yeah— I mean, I guess. But I'm not a god. Just a lousy homo sapiens. And also, I cop—I mean, took inspiration of this plot from somewhere else and added stuff of my own.' (E/N: "…")
[That doesn't change the fact that you've put over 300 hours into this story and constantly plan things about this world in the background that the readers don't see. You don't just copy-paste things from the place you took inspiration from. You have 50+ separate text files listing various aspects and elements of this story, world, and characters and you're constantly working to add stuff to them. I think you deserve the title.]
'Okay, okay. Stop. Nobody needs to know all that stuff. Jeez. Even with that much work, this is still an average/above-average novel at best.'
[I beg to differ. I like this story.]
'Thanks. :)'
"Anyway, we need a new protagonist. Let's see…"
[Of course, I did kinda let the protagonist die in the latest main story chapter. Hehe. That was fun… Oops. You didn't hear that, reader. I'm a good AI. Trust me. :)
Anyway, how about taking in the version of Alex shown in his 'dream'? The readers seem to like him.]
'Well, I don't. He's too smart, charismatic, and rational and I am incapable of writing that kind of badass, super cool sounding protagonist.'
[Understandable. Then, moving on. We still have the original protagonist.]
"Hmm, yes. I can just start his story instead. Yes, yes, that can work. I can make him a better version of Alex, even. One that readers actually like and care about. One that doesn't waste time with stupid monologues and dumb moral dilemmas and instead gives the readers exactly what they desire: Lots of lemons and an action-packed story! Yeah! So, that's one option, I guess."
[Next option, we have… Sharon.]
"Nah, she's not protagonist material. (E/N: Sorry, Sharon. He doesn't mean it) Or rather, I don't fancy writing a female protagonist. Not to mention a lot of readers don't like her." (A/N: This was before the second epilogue chapter went online. Now many of you have started liking her. Yay for her! :D)
[Next is... Kara?]
"Hmm. She's a blank slate now. But still doesn't have a dick— I mean, also not the right type for this kind of story. And I already have plans for her. So, nope. Still a better option than Sharon though, I suppose. (E/N: Sorry again, Sharon. He's a total ass. But I like you. :) )
Anyone else?"
[What about someone from his family? Emma? Alice? Elizabeth? How about one of the maids? Laura? Sera?]
"Nope, nope, nope, nope to all of them."
'They all are lacking that important body part and I don't fancy indulging in Futanari. So, no to all.'
[…]
"…"
"What the… there are no important enough male characters in this story!?"
'This is way too biased of a story! I wasn't even trying to hide my intentions with it. Fuck.'
(E/N: Ignores all the other male characters, coz screw them lol.)
"… Okay, I guess I have only one option, then. Let me go talk to him."
*Opens his basement window, looking at the underground dungeon below his one-room apartment, and shouts*
"Oii! OG protagonist!! It's your turn now, mate! My MC died!
'More like, he killed himself. That stupid piece of crap! I'm so annoyed right now! Ugh!'
"Come and let me put you as the new protagonist in the story."
*A charming and lovable handsome young man turns and smiles.*
"I see. I'll get ready then, Mr. Author."
*He pulls up his underpants, covering his girthy 14-inch bitch-breaker of a cock adorning his young 15-year-old body, black hair and silver eyes. He then looks around proudly at the dungeon floor, watching the pile of over 4 dozen female bodies of various ages laying down, all twitching and moaning, and all of them covered from head to toe in his thick white fluids.*(E/N: I did NOT want that description, thank you very much. :/)
"I was getting bored with the no-name chicks from other universes anyway. I wonder how the ones from that world taste in real life?"
*He smiles brightly, ignoring that his dark intentions are clearly on display.*
"I wonder what kind of faces they make when I break them. Heh."
'Oh, right. I forgot that's his real persona… Haaa… This is why I didn't want to write HIS story. It'll turn into a whole other kind of story… I'll lose all my readers… Wait, I think I already lost most of them after I pulled that stunt with Sharon and then started some boring adventure arc that people don't seem to care about. Gosh, I suck at writing! Motherfucking, cock-sucking, ass-eating shitfarts!'
"Just… can you rope in your dark persona a little, OG protagonist? I was hoping the story to be more light-hearted and stuff. (E/N: Yeah? Then what was all that drama with his family and Kara? Is that what you call 'light-heated'. If yes, my man, you need to look at the dictionary. Fuck. Why am I editing this weirdo's stupid non-chapter? Why do I exist? Only to suffer?) Not a constant mind-break, manipulation, and sex-fest. Contrary to what the title of my story says, this isn't a hentai."
*He smiles.*
"Don't worry, Mr. Author. Everything will be all right~ They'll love me~! I'll make them love me. Just like I did with all the players in the videogame."
"Uhh, they didn't really care about you, though. They used you as a means to fantasize about them having sex with those pretty and sexy girls and women instead."
"Ah… Those bunch'a fatass fuckin' virgins!! Who cares about such useless, pathetic, and ugly-looking people anyway?! They can't compare to the likes of me! They wish they were me! I am what everyone desires to be! Hahahaha!"
*He laughs boisterously and goes on a tangent of self-praising for the next 15 minutes.*
'Oh, dear. This is totally not gonna work out. Everyone will find his attitude annoying. I'm gonna lose all the remaining readers too! My story will be dead!!'
"… Okay, first of all, don't ever dare to talk like that about readers when you're inside the story in the future. They'll start spamming 1-star reviews if they get pissed and nobody will read my story. Second of all, I feel offended! I was one of those "players," mind you. So, don't act rude and cocky in front of me or I'll erase your fucking existence!"
"Oh, shit! Sorry, sorry. I totally didn't mean it. You're the best, Mr. Author. Want me to call you big bro? Aniki? Daddy? I'll do it, Mr. Author. You're the only one I'm scared of. The others can suck my big fat dick."
"Just forget about it. Make sure to behave, okay?"
"Sure thing! I'll do better than that previous loser lol. Wimpy ass noob, lol."
'Everyone hates my previous protagonist, but I didn't really find him that bad, honestly. Sigh.'
"I'll give them a better protagonist, Mr. Author. And I won't speak the truth about those pitiful people who indulge in such types of games and novels and fantasize about it being their life, coz they don't get bitches in real life, and their real-life sucks. Heh."
*He smiles innocently after that, ignoring what he had just said.*
"…"
'I'm really not sure about this. Damn it, why did my protagonist have to go and kill himself!? It was working just fine! Kind of. … Fuck!
Now I'll have to change my plans for the next volumes…'
"Fine, whatever. I don't care. Dispose—I mean, send all the women back to their homes in their respective words. Let's get this shit started."
<The End of Author's Reaction.>
[Remember, readers. This was not canon. I and Alex will see you in Volume 2. Until later, dear readers. Toodle-oo~ :D] (E/N: Hey, that was supposed to be my line! God damn it, I get no respect here. :/)
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..
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[Shameless promotion/begging]
If you liked my work so far, consider subscribing/donating to my P@treon.
www.p@treon.com/poz
I'll really appreciate it. :)
No pressure though… but it'll really make me happy. But I'm not gonna force you or anything. The story has been free to read so far and that was my decision. You don't need to pay anything for what you've read so far…
… Unless you want to.
(E/N: No! You said no forcing just now!)
'But I'm not forcing. I'm requesting from them.'
(E/N: Don't do that either, you greedy beggar!)
'… Okay.'
But know readers that your donatio—Mmf! Mmmph!
(E/N: Alright everyone, thanks for reading, and sorry for wasting your time. See you guys later. :) )
(E/N: Let's have a little talk about being too greedy, POZ. Shall we?)
'N-No, wait. Stop! Wh-Why do you have a leather belt and a stick?!'
(E/N: Oh, you'll soon know why, POZ.)
(*Sounds of shouting, beating, crying, and things breaking and someone getting a good spanking reverberates in the background*)
A/N: Did you read it all? If yes: Damn! Noice. You get a free ticket to an eroge in your next time! :D Wait for the Truck-kun Isekai Services Pvt. Ltd. To pick you up.
If not: You'll die a virgin and your existence will be erased. No Isekai for you. :| I don't make the rules here. So, go back and read everything—
(E/N: Oy, fucker! Your beating isn't over yet, you bitch! I'll show you what happens when you make me edit all that crap you wrote in this chapter against my will. DIE, YOU VIRGIN BITCH!!!)
A/N: Y-You're a virgin too—GaaaAAH…!!!
(*The background screams and beating continue*)
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