Chương 18: Prime Property
Technoblade was a wealthy farmer. He had a wheat field, potato field, carrot field, beetroot garden because beets were useless vegetables and a small melon and pumpkin patch. The only crop he did not manage to grow was the cocoa beans, as he had no idea where to get jungle logs to farm those pods.
However, his food situation was now under control. All three pigs made it to his slaughterhouse, and he fattened them enough to collect the quest reward.
Now that he had a saddle, Technoblade wanted a horse. But first, something was bothering him.
Although his animals lived in a slaughterhouse, that barn had undergone tremendous upgrades over the last few days. His farm animals were living more fancifully than he was. All Technoblade had was a miserable hole in the mountain that wasn't completely free from unwanted visitors.
"This won't do," he huffed. "I worked and toiled for this beautiful farm. Technically, I should be rich enough to afford a prime property with all these resources. Why am I still living in a hole?"
That's right. He was going to build a freaking house today, the best house of his young adult dream. He might not be a carpenter or architect, but he knew a thing or two about construction. More importantly, he was a master strategist.
"I'm going to build a fortress. Sort of."
The first thing Technoblade decided to collect was stone, lots of it. He'd also need plenty of charcoal to smelt all the cobblestone into stone and craft stone bricks out of those.
Technoblade hollowed out more of the mountain for the next few hours and started expanding his strip mines to gather more resources, including copper and iron. He ate when he was hungry, slept when he was tired and completely disregarded the day-night cycle until he had all the stone bricks he wanted.
By the time he had an entire double chest full of stone bricks and left his expanded mining base, Technoblade looked at the dark sky and groaned. Mobs started to spawn, and he retreated to the safety of the underground base, sleeping the night off.
With the morning sun protecting him from hostile enemies, Technoblade realised what was next on his list of things to do. He needed to build the first line of defence from those monsters and probably a second. Also, lighting up the territory was probably a good idea.
"Torches," he sighed. "We need torches for days, and that means charcoal."
Readying the axe in his hand, Technoblade walked towards his tree farm. After strip mining for so long, he had all the coal and iron he needed to make this building project less of a pain. Although building wasn't very much his thing whenever he played Minecraft because he enjoyed the stimulation of beating things up and causing chaos more, Technoblade knew his basics.
"One hundred trees!"
Two days passed.
"Five hundred charcoal!"
Three days passed.
"One thousand fences!"
Five days passed.
Slowly but surely, the place came together as Technoblade ate, worked and slept. His animals multiplied, his fields continued to yield great harvests, and Technoblade worked on outlining his territory. There was no such thing as too much space. However, the terrain he was in was slightly trickier to work with. Technoblade spent many good hours terraforming the place while the crafting workshop worked overtime for his orders. Chests overflowed so much that he had to put a new chest fortress outside his expanded mining base to fit everything.
However, the work paid off when he saw a good few acres of land fully lit and fenced. It took him nearly two weeks to clear out enough space, level the terrain into a gentler slope and allocate space for his sniping towers. As for the house…
"It's not going to work, right?" he asked himself after studying the hilly terrain.
He could build it on a hill that he flattened, but at some point, storage would become an issue, and he would either have to move houses or renovate it to accommodate more. He'd seen many hardcore series players run into that problem, and Technoblade was all about efficiency.
Ideally, a house would be located in the centre of all his other builds and farms for easy access. However, Technoblade was lazy. He didn't feel like building something that only served one purpose. Sure, he could build a basement that made little sense, like most inefficient players. However, it made little sense to him to build a house with little functionality and do everything in the basement.
He might as well skip the house and start with a basement instead.
Following that thought, the Potato Lord realised that prime property did not always mean a castle or a mansion in Beverly Hills. He could live in a self-sufficient survival bunker, and that shit cost several million back on Earth.
…
"Yeah, I'm going to live in a bunker."
What could he say? Convenience over aesthetics any day. Of course, it would have to be a nice bunker, not one that looks like his mining base. Technblade did not want to stare at stone walls all day and feel like he was walking into prison voluntarily. He was a free man now. Kind of.
The bunker had to have stone bricks, and Technoblade paused. Didn't that make it appear more dungeon-like?
"Maybe I'll get more wood," he told himself and chopped more trees.
After what felt like forever, Technoblade finally had the things he needed for that bunker. However, he did not want to use the mining base as the starting point for his bunker. This and that should be separate, even if he made a passageway leading to his mining operations.
As the mountain was extremely tall, more so than he knew it to be, Technoblade decided to make the hollow of it his bunker. A mountainside view and a mansion inside a mountain sounded like a fantasy. This engineering feat would not be possible without gravity-defying Aftercraft logic.
With his trusty pickaxe, plenty of torches and determination, Technoblade got to work.
The beginning stages of clearing land were mind-numbingly boring. There was only so much variety that he could do while hollowing a mountain. Thankfully, he entertained himself by chopping trees, making planks and laying the floor as he mined. The torches were ugly on their own and how they did not set the wood on fire was a mystery.
The mansion he wanted was bigger than what Technoblade managed to dig out. However, expansion could happen when he felt like doing it. The holes in the mountain made a beautiful window with a fantastic view. Technobalde made sky bridges so he could run from his bunker to the sniping towers at the edge of his small property.
This was nothing compared to the amount of land he claimed on SMP Earth.
"Hippity hoppity, get off my property," he smirked and stuck a tongue out at the horde of undead gathering outside his fence.
Even with full armour and all the tools he needed in his inventory, these mobs were helpless against his perimeter of defence like fences and stone brick walls. The fences were also designed to hinder spiders from crawling over the wall. The only thing that bothered Technoblade was the entrance. Compared to the thick stone brick wall, the entrance looked flimsy in comparison. His only line of defence was fence gates and a two-block gap between the gate and the wilderness he could jump over. The trapdoor logic worked against the undead of Aftercraft, and Technoblade watched them drown in his moat.
One thing Technoblade learned about the monster's behaviour in Aftercraft was how they avoided Juicy Berry bushes like the plague. Since Technblade knew how to farm them now with renewable bone meal, he planted them all around his walls and guided the mobs towards his short moat around his entrances. Just as a precaution, Juicy Berry bushes lined the interior of his territory as decoration and the second line of defence to protect his farms and animals.
Truth be told, the fencing process would be longer if Technoblade included the massive mountain in his calculations. There were four sniper towers he could access from the sky bridge, facing away from the mountain. The mountain he made his base in was too big to terraform, and Technoblade did not want to risk falling to his death while scaling it. Hence, he left it as it was. Instead, he built the wall surrounding his base to exclude the mining base and mansion from its protection. He could only access the farms by using the sky bridge or one of those entrances.
"I should probably build an underground passage directly from the mining base," he considered. Jumping over the moat and jostling undead monsters could be risky.
With tweaks and adjustments to his original plan, the prime property of Tehnoblade's dreams finally came true. He might have taken a little too long to create the house of his dreams, but after nearly a month, he finally took a step back to admire the beautiful place he called home.
"One last final touch," Technoblade studied the blank walls.
If he wanted this to feel like home, he needed interior decoration. What better interior decoration was there than paintings and an armour stand to display his awesomeness?
Collecting some wool from his semi-automated slaughterhouse designed as a very tasteful national jail using iron bars and stone bricks, Technoblade flipped the lever and closed the iron door. Cackling to himself and grabbing some charcoal from one of the chests he had lying around because he was a slob and couldn't clean up after his build projects, he made some good old-fashioned black dye and crafted a canvas.
That's right. The freedom of customisation existed in Aftercraft, and Technoblade knew he would abuse it. Why place and replace paintings to get one of those ugly default textures when he could simply create the painting of his dreams?
Technoblade added bone meal to a bucket of water in his player crafting inventory to get white paint as soon as he had his black canvas. He made blue paint using Juicy berries and brown using cocoa beans. Exploring what he could turn into paint and what he could not, Technoblade learned that flowers were his friends and obtained a palette of colours from nature's bouquet.
"This brings back memories," he mused as he painted what obviously looked like a pig wearing a red jacket and a crown on its head.
The boys in Dream SMP went through the effort to create his wanted posters. He'd grown so used to seeing it everywhere that it felt odd without having any around.
Looking at his masterpiece with a good enough attempt, Technoblade gave himself a pat on the back. The crown might be slightly askew, and his eyes may be slightly too widely spaced in his painting, but it was A+ for effort.
"Let's see… how can I duplicate this?'
Spending way more time on the interior decor than he thought he would, Technoblade finally created all the paintings he wanted and hung them on the bare walls.
He had red carpets on the floor, automatic doors using pressure plates, and a veranda with fences on his balcony because he lacked the sand required to make glass for his windows. He added some sheared leaf blocks to hide the fact there were ugly torches behind them lighting his room and just everything he needed for crafting lying in every possible corner of his bunker.
"There's the kitchen which is mostly made of food chest storage, and a cauldron that's mostly for show," Technoblade glanced at the slabs over that infinite water pool and glanced at that one cow in the corner he named "Jimmy" for whatever reasons.
Why trouble the milkman when he could help himself to a free-flow source of milk in his kitchen?
The other room, possibly the most boring in Technoblade's opinion, next to his kitchen, was the furnace room. It was intended to be automatic smelting, but without red stones, Technoblade still had to manually divide the stacks of items he wanted to get smelted. Thankfully, he had enough charcoal to get them smelting for days, literally. He found out that manual smelting was possible in Aftercraft, but convincing the admins to release his crafted furnaces was slightly tricky.
"I can't believe I had to buy a smelting licence for these," he sighed. That licence cost him fifteen levels. Thankfully, the monsters outside agreed to help Technobalde gain those levels quickly.
However, thanks to that licence, he could skip the strange steel forge and smelting queue to get his stone bricks without waiting forever.
The living room was converted into a huge chest room, not that Technoblade minded. He even categorised them using a combination of signs and item frames, taking the time to think about where everything should go. No, he wasn't going to think about that dump chest corner where he procrastinated too much about sorting the miscellaneous items he obtained over the last month.
Although he did not have a library yet, Technoblade created the space for it. Enchanting was important in Minecraft, and he saw something similar in Aftercraft while browsing through the quests. He had no access to diamonds, but there was a reward for sugar cane and bookshelves. There was a quest to find diamonds, but the requirements were difficult to complete.
Last but not least, right before the sky bridge access, Technoblade wanted to admire the room he was most proud of. The bedroom was literally what it was, a room full of beds. After learning that he could dye wool and create beds of different colours, Technoblade went all out and created a bed of every colour to place in this room.
Part of him realised how much of a pride theme this resembled, and the crown on an armour stand at the bedroom entrance did not really help with that image. Technoblade enjoyed trampling over the beds and not having to fold any blankets because there were none. If he was being honest, he only slept in one bed for the past week, and it wasn't any of the beds in this room.
Satisfied with his new house, Technoblade threw the bed from his inventory onto the kitchen floor and slept the night off.
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