Chương 25: (Out Of Words)
It's been two months had passed since Mariana was taken, and the weight of her absence pressed down on Calum like a physical burden. He tried, God, how he tried, to get her back to the city, back to her life. But the security was impenetrable. A billion-dollar bounty on his head, his face plastered across every news outlet, made it impossible. He was a hunted man, and taking Mariana back would mean dragging her into the crosshairs. The truth was, he was more worried about her being away from him than the consequences of his actions. He knew that all of his colleagues, Crow's men, were still looking for her, and getting her back to the city would be the end of her life. They would kill her to fulfill Crow's order since Mariana knew the true face of the man he called his boss.
The weight of his secret, the knowledge of Crow's deadly intent, pressed down on him like a leaden cloak. He couldn't tell Mariana the truth. He couldn't risk her knowing, not when it would only bring her more fear and despair. He had to find a way to get her out of this, and fast.
"Have you eaten your breakfast yet?" Mariana asked, her voice soft, a touch of concern in her tone. She had been so kind to him, so understanding, even though she was trapped in this desolate place, a prisoner of his own making.
Calum looked at her, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. He hadn't slept well. The weight of his situation, the constant worry for Mariana, was taking its toll.
"Not in the mood," he mumbled, his voice barely a whisper.
Mariana sighed, a hint of amusement in her voice. "You can just eat when you're in the mood."
Calum stood abruptly, his movements jerky and tense. He walked away from her, his back stiff and his shoulders hunched.
Mariana watched him go, confusion clouding her features. "What's wrong?" she asked, following him. "Did I say something to upset you?"
Calum stopped, turning to face her. His eyes, usually bright with a mischievous glint, were now clouded with a deep, unsettling sadness. "Aren't you worried?" he asked, his voice strained.
Mariana stared at him blankly, her brow furrowed. "Why are you asking me that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Calum's voice was a low growl, laced with frustration. "You should be worried. It's been two months, and I'm unable to let you go. I don't know how to do it anymore."
"If you're asking me if I'm worried, yes, I am," Mariana said, her voice a mix of frustration and sadness. "But does it benefit me to show that to you? It's not like it's going to change anything."
Mariana's happy face, the one that had always lit up the room, was now clouded with a deep, unspoken sadness. She had been so strong, so resilient, but even her spirit was beginning to crack under the weight of their situation.
"I can't move freely to the city anymore because of their tight security," Calum said, his voice a murmur, filled with despair. "They put a billion on my head. I guess I'm the one who should be worried now, huh?"
Mariana's gaze softened, her heart aching for him. She knew he was right. He was the one who should be worried, the one who was carrying the burden of their situation.
"Calum," she said, her voice gentle, reaching out to touch his arm. "I know you're doing everything you can. I'm not blaming you."
"But I'm failing, I am fucking failing," he said, his voice cracking, the raw emotion spilling out. He was failing her. He was failing himself. He was failing to keep her safe.
"No," Mariana said, her eyes searching his. "You're not failing anyone. You're doing the best you can."
Calum looked at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of hope and despair. He took a deep breath, trying to gather his strength. It was already a death sentence for her when he lied to Crow, telling him that Mariana had escaped, but the truth was he'd been keeping her safe for months now. He believed that with him, she was safer, but he didn't want to keep her with him. It was like breaking her future, holding her back from the life she deserved.
"I'm going to figure this out," he said, his voice firm, though his eyes still held a flicker of doubt.
Mariana smiled, a small, fragile smile, but it was enough to offer him a spark of hope. "I know you will," she said, her voice filled with a quiet confidence that she didn't even feel.
She wrapped her hands around his waist.
"Thank you."
Calum couldn't control his hands, reaching out to touch her back and hug her tightly. He held her close, the warmth of her body a comfort in the cold, desolate space. She looked at him in the eyes, and he undoubtedly touched his lips to hers.
They kissed passionately, a desperate need for connection burning between them. It was a kiss born of fear, of loneliness, of the impossible love that had bloomed between them in this strange, dangerous place. Suddenly Mariana broke away, her eyes wide with a mixture of guilt and longing.
"I'm sorry, I am carried away again."
She closed her eyes, tears welling up.
"It's okay, me too," he said, his voice rough with emotion.
"No, it's not," She laughed fakely, the sound hollow and painful. "I had a fiancé back home, and I am betraying him. I'm a very bad person, Calum."
She cried, the tears flowing freely now. The guilt was eating at her, twisting her insides. She had never felt so lost, so conflicted.
Calum just watched her silently, his heart mirroring her pain. He understood her guilt, her confusion. He felt it too. He was trapped in the same web of moral ambiguity, torn between his love for her and his loyalty to Crow.
"That will not happen again, I will control myself, not touching you anymore if that will make you feel you're a good person."
He said, his voice strained. He knew it was a lie. He couldn't control his feelings for her. He couldn't deny them.
"It's not the kiss that made me bad.
It's all because I love you.
I love you, Calum.
God,I can't even love him."
She teared up again, her voice choked with emotion. The words hung in the air between them, heavy with truth and vulnerability.
Calum was frozen.That's the first time that he heard her said those words.But he was completely out of words.
He wanted to answer her, to tell her he was in love with her too, but his mind refused to let him. It was good that his mind was listening, not his deceitful heart. He couldn't betray her, not when it would only lead to more pain.
He was out of words, and he was sure he didn't know what to say, but he was also certain, he was dying in love with her.
She walked away and ran into her room, leaving Calum alone with his unspoken feelings and the weight of his impossible situation. He stood there, his heart aching, his hands clenched into fists. He had to find a way out of this, a way to save her, a way to save himself.
***
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