Chương 58: Futility
Someone who felt like dying might think death was a better option… until they saw the 'end' closely.
Lumina felt exactly that when her Heart Devil arose. It's strange… Almost like it was all a lie.
She… didn't want to die.
Regardless, half transparent figure holding the Divinity Striker didn't seem to care about her pleas.
The ruby screen followed her, still writing her words despite the fact that she actually spoke earlier.
[Red Rabbit: "Adam, stop overdramatising this already. I'm trying to help you, so just sit still."]
"StOp iT! I'M REAL!! I'M R-rEaL!!!" The chaotically morphing figure roared back in a fit of rage.
She charged at the glowing with recklessly abandon. An arm reached out towards the spirit.
Then, an unusual event happened.
The bones of that arm extended out. Size and weight were no longer static concepts to her.
Lumina's fist hit the red screen, only to see that no damage was still being done. It was all futile…
[Red Rabbit: "You can't touch me. We're not even on the same plane of existence. You know, I'm-"]
The explanation was something the despairing girl couldn't see. Words meant nothing at this moment.
If she wanted to live, she needed to kill…
And to kill an entity that wasn't on the same plane as her, how would she be able to touch her…?
Did she have the tools necessary on her to do so?
"ThEre…" She muttered. Perhaps due to deepening the connection to Solaris, she found her answer.
'Space Affinity…' This aspect of his stats carried over to her, but there was no joy in her eyes.
Two conflicting emotions overcame her.
She didn't want to die. Still, she didn't want to live an empty life. That's why she wanted to stay 'alive'.
Because she knew if she was gone, wouldn't Solaris miss her? What about those kids she had?
Her heart hurt when thinking about their future.
She shouldn't have thoughtlessly brought them into the world… if she was going to die off like this.
'Kids… You have to run.' She sent her thoughts to those little girls within her, a heaviness her tone.
'Mama…? Mama! Mama!' The creatures inside her body started to squirm in defiance, but they couldn't disobey her will. They were forcefully ejected out of her body. Unable to protect her.
When the half transparent figure saw the masked marionettes get thrown out, she didn't hurt them.
To her, it wasn't like she came here to kill someone.
Though they looked hideous, she wasn't going to harm anyone. After all, this wasn't even a 'fight'.
She was merely assisting Adam in 'sobering up'.
When the mannequin-like girls got far enough from Lumina, they were able to exert some self-control.
Unable to truly leave…
They could sense that something was happening inside their 'Mama'. A truly rapid transformation.
What was once a linear thought pattern they could easily read became twisted. A new skill emerging.
The darkness around Lumina's body seemed to be exerting control over something. This was…
[Red Rabbit: "That's a good answer. You're using the darkness of your Gift to render space itself?"]
[Red Rabbit: "Impressive…"]
The constantly morphing figure turned into a puddle of flesh that teleported around the red screen. It was her ultimate technique she'd just thought of, turning her entire body into a weapon.
*Bang!*
The dark cage of flesh surrounding the red screen became transparent itself. Then struck the blade.
Red Rabbit lifted Divinity Striker, but was unable to stop the attacks coming from all directions at once.
The spawns watched with near silent breaths…
When they blinked their eyes, they were shocked to see that not only was the woman completely uninjured, but she also struck back. A line of words appeared as the bubble-like 'cage' was bisected.
[Red Rabbit: "Too bad… If I was really an Imaginary Spirit, then that might have been dangerous."]
The puddle of flesh dropped to the ground in two pieces. Anticlimactically falling without hurting her.
"MAMA!" The spawns tried to return, but they were blocked off after being ambushed from the rear.
"Haha! We're not like before. You monsters won't have your way this time!" Ardo Brigsy came rushing in with his gang of allies. Thanks to having earlier experience, they knew how to make them squirm.
Lightning DUST and Ice DUST was used to paralyse and freeze them in place, while Fire DUST was used to burn away at their bodies. This caused them pain… so much that Lumina had reacted.
"NOOOoOgjtrwsg!!!" Her voice became inhuman at the end. Her body trying to move in their direction.
Despite being an existence that didn't have a fixed form, she wasn't able to put herself together again.
Still, she roared at Red Rabbit with reddened eyes:
"W-wHAT… aRE yOu?! TELL ME!!" The glowing figure titled her head at this unexpected remark.
[Red Rabbit: "You can consider me your 'aunt' in a way. But for the details, you're gonna have to ask your instructor. I'm not sure what you did to calm Simon down recently, but he should tell you."]
Lumina didn't care about the specifics of this.
While her spawns were immortal, they could still feel pain. On top of that, time was running out.
She couldn't tell what was the thoughts of Solaris and her own anymore. The 'line' was vanishing.
It was why her twin's feelings passed onto her:
'Should we just give up?' Solaris had accepted the futility of the situation. There was no way to win.
"Solaris…" For the first time in a while, Lumina muttered this with clarity in her broken voice.
Her pitch was no longer all over the place…
[Red Rabbit: "Is that the name of your imaginary friend? Adam, you have to stop acting irrational."]
"We're… real…" The bisected woman shot back weakly. It was a thing the higher being had heard.
[Red Rabbit: "What makes you real?"]
"What…?" The bloodied face looked up at Divinity Striker in a stupor. Wasn't the evidence obvious?
She felt joy, rage, pain, and feelings just like any other. What was wrong with saying she was real?
[Red Rabbit: "You're just a delusion. So long as 'he' exists, you would always be a split personality."]
"You think… that you're not killing me? That I'm not dying?" Clarity started to appear in the girl's eyes.
[Red Rabbit: "'You' have never existed."]
These words were like a bucket of cold water that was thrown over her head. She had seen through it.
Lumina recognised that she had been wrong all this time. Red Rabbit's pushed her over the edge…
…and she fell past the deepest level of the abyss.
"You think I'm a figment of his imagination?"
[Red Rabbit: "You are. That's not debatable."]
"You think I can't die?" A sinister smile that held hints of insanity spoke back with bright chuckles.
[Red Rabbit: "…"]
There seemed to be a frown on the half transparent face. She didn't know why Adam focused on that.
'Lumina…! Lumina!!!' Solaris felt the link between them was dampening. The moon was blackening.
Within their Sea of Consciousness, under the sky and above the sea… her ego started to crumble.
It felt like the world was ending.
"What are you doing?!" The sun roared out. He was unable to believe what he was seeing from his twin.
No, from his 'female counterpart'…
"Stopping the fusion process."
"You can't do this! Are you going to leave me alone so easily? Didn't you want to live? Stop! You can't leave me! Don't go like this! DON'T!!!" To stop her from 'dying', Solaris decided to make a heel-turn.
He stopped resisting the fusion, shooting towards her glowing figure that once shone like the moon.
Only to be able to stop her descent into the sea…
As she was falling, Lumina locked eyes with him.
This would be the last time they saw each other. It was the last time she'd feel like a human being.
However, she didn't regret this choice of hers.
If someone had to die, it should be her. She was the 'Emptiness' Adam always ran from in his life.
And Solaris? He was the ideal version of Adam.
"Take care of my kids." Rather than showing her true feelings, she tried to hide her feelings was a smile. Especially the despair from knowing she'd never get to be 'herself' anymore. It was terrifying.
She wanted to deny the reality of this…
But there was nothing she could do…
If one of them wanted to survive, one of them had to die. There was no way out of this anymore.
The least she could do was erase her influence…
They both knew this. The only difference was that Lumina had decisively acted upon her thoughts.
Solaris sensed the true, unexplainable feelings behind that smile. Her last thought was sent:
'Thank… you…' Her body fell into the ocean beneath them, and her body turned into ink.
Outside their Sea of Consciousness, the glowing figure looked at the edge of the Divinity Striker.
Thanks to her perceptiveness, she'd noticed something that couldn't be seen with the eyes.
Remnants of a deathly aura was left on the blade.
[Red Rabbit: "She died…?"] There was an truly disbelieving look on the half transparent face.
A silence followed her death…
The only sound that could be heard was a figure ejecting out of Lumina. Then knelt near her body.
The ideal face of Solaris looked just like Adam's…
Maybe that's why she somehow seemed to have misunderstood who he was this entire time.
[Red Rabbit: "Sorry for killing your imaginary friend like so. Weird… Did you use your Divinity on her?"]
Solaris didn't to correct her misunderstanding immediately. His ears filled with the spawns' cries.
"Mama…?" They felt the connection cut.
The person who had brought them into existence was no more, but they were still here… alive…
"Waaaa! Mama!! MAMAAA!" They started to cry like the children they were. Their cries hurt the Red Rabbit, who wasn't an unfeeling monster. One who couldn't recognise that they were mere children.
But before she could say anything to soothe their pain, laughter erupted from the Beastkin around.
They couldn't believe it themselves.
"Hehe… Hahahaha! They crying? I can't believe we were scared by them earlier." Ardo slapped one of the cases of ice that trapped the marionettes. The entire group of 'babies' were already taken care of.
Solaris had a dark face…
And the celestial being that watched their way of heartlessly laughing, then turned her head away.
True, they looked like monsters… but it was also true that their cries had been heart-wrenching.
It made her realise they were just a bunch of jerks.
She expected at least one of them to be different enough. For someone to feel bad about laughing.
But they seemed like worse 'brats' than expected.
The whole Familia united under the laughter. They seemed relieved that these creatures were weak.
Ardo wanted to rest a few things out. See if he could actually kill one of these horrifying beings.
Only to turn his head when a weapon was thrown.
Solaris had grabbed the Coldsteel Longsword and threw it in the arrogant lion's direction in particular.
The blade landed on the ice casing, breaking it apart like glass. A hand reached out immediately.
The longsword was grasped in the marionette's hand… It's eyes dangerously turned to the leader.
A sense of crisis immediately overcame the maned Beastkin. Their figures had started to morph…
It was almost like they casted off their humanoid shells. Becoming masked creatures of the night.
Their bodies turned shadowy. They started to look eerily similar to the nightmarish figure of their good mother. The only difference was that while Lumina's face held a trace of humanity, their icy masks only made them look like demons of hell.
Ardo felt alarms ringing in his head, and so did the crowd that had previously been laughing earlier.
The 'children' were no longer crying anymore…
Their eyes held clarity while looking at him like he was just a slag of meat. One that they would eat.
One bite… One nibble at a time…
A putrid smell started to overcome the senses of the gang of Beastkin. They turned to their leader.
The smell was coming from the man's pants…
"Come back…" Solaris held no resentment towards the pathetic man. He only cared for the children.
The darkened spawns gave one last look to the lion, Ardo, before leaving to look for their mother.
They came closer to where she lost her life…
It was ironic that despite there being no connection between them and the man holding Lumina's corpse, they were united in the immense sorrow they felt. Nothing could hold back their tears…
Only Solaris seemed to look expressionless…
Almost as if he didn't feel anything at that moment.
His mind wondered about the last thought his female counterpart had. Why did she say that?
Why did she thank him…?
He had done nothing for her all this time. It wasn't like there was anything in particular to thank about.
So why was that the last thing she thought? Even while her consciousness faded, she still thought it.
Why…?
[Red Rabbit: "I didn't know you… used Divinity to animate her. Adam, I'm not sure how to apologise."]
"Don't…" He didn't correct her, but that was only because he knew just how this woman would react.
She seemed to go to the extremes to do what she set out to do. Nothing was able to stop her.
Moreover, he was mulling over wretched he counted as being 'Eclipsus'. Her Skills went to him.
The only thing missing was the memories of Lumina… being Lumina. All of that was gone.
So she really died…?
Regardless, Solaris was a Taoist. He mustn't fall to madness and give in to the negative desires within.
It was just unfortunate that he couldn't help having already been consumed by an overflowing hatred.
It just didn't manifest itself as flames…
The rage sunk down with his female counterpart. It was thoroughly held down by his three treasures.
It was then he understood something about the situation, and smiled derisively in response.
Lumina died to take away this feeling of emptiness within him, but her death had done the same thing.
The apathy and madness he felt upon seeing her corpse only threatened to take away his humanity.
To keep himself from falling further, he spoke:
"Don't ask me for forgiveness."
[Red Rabbit: "I didn't know about that."]
"You seem to know little of a lot of things. Are you even an imaginary spirit? Or are you a person?"
She DID say she was related to Simon somehow.
Was that why she didn't notice he'd lost his memories of her? It started to make sense to him.
The gears were turning in his head…
The only thing he hadn't expected was that she would bring up what he thought was insignificant.
[Red Rabbit: "Was what Simon did you really that hurtful? You shouldn't blame me for this. I helped."]
"I didn't ask for it."
[Red Rabbit: "You didn't need to. Isn't that what kindness is? You're family… just like how 'he' is."]
"It's too bad though…"
[Red Rabbit: "What is?"]
"I've never seen anyone as 'family' before." He spoke exactly what Adam always hid from others.
The things that he'd never let anyone know…
Why was he being so talkative all of a sudden? Did her death loosen his lips about the 'real' Adam?
Was that how much he felt it all was futile?
[Red Rabbit: "Isn't that your greatest weakness of character? You're surrounded by those who like you for who you are. Anyone else, and they wouldn't have done something THIS extreme."]
"You think I split myself out of despair?" He smiled at her. It was a look which twisted in malevolence.
[Red Rabbit: "…Didn't you?"]
"Simon had disappointed me, but it wasn't to that extent." He rolled his eyes at her assumption.
Honestly, he didn't feel THAT bad about Gaia…
Only pity that he couldn't talk to her. These were the most recent feelings he had of being Adam.
There was no way these memories were wrong.
[Red Rabbit: "Then why…?"]
"I wanted someone to trust."
[Red Rabbit: "Like I said before, you-"]
"Have never trusted anyone." He didn't let her bring up how he was 'surrounded by people who liked him as a person'. That was all nonsense to the original Adam. To him, no one could be trusted.
No one…
[Red Rabbit: "You can make a start."]
"Do you think it's that easy for me? I've tried to trust people, but I can't do it. I'm scared… I don't want to get hurt or betrayed by anyone. That's why I relied on myself to fill this emptiness. Only me." It was this reason Adam had created the two of them.
Solaris was aware of how illogical this was.
Eclipsus wanted to love others, but he himself could never bring himself to let others inside.
[Red Rabbit: "That's… the most selfish thing I've ever heard! Who had hurt you to this point…?"]
"You say it like I can't just be like this…" He ignored her reaction, his hand cleaning Lumina's face.
[Red Rabbit: "You can't… What kind of person are you anyway? What about your family before coming to this world? Unless they mistreated you or said something, you couldn't become like this."]
"My parents were nice and my brother was protective of me. No, I'd never been mistreated."
[Red Rabbit: "I don't… don't… understand…"]
"You don't have to." He spoke while watching ad Lumina's body started to disintegrate into him.
The rage deep inside of him started to seep into his Yang Qi. A flame started erupting from his body.
A dark enlightenment progressed his cultivation…
He felt liberated from the chains that had once held him down. The three treasures burning away…
He lifted his hand towards her, and a fireball shot onto that screen she communicated to him with.
*Bang!*
The half transparent face looked down to see cracks appearing on what should've been virtual.
The only difference between her and Whispering Devil was that she didn't feel pain from the cracks.
Only hearing Solaris speak following its energy shot. His face turning scorched while speaking:
"I never said I had forgiven you."
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