Chương 445: A terrible person

Lia took another deep breath and opened her eyes as she was met with Pete's gentle ones that made all her anxiety and fear disappear, she felt safe and protected whenever she was with him, whenever he looked at her like she would always protect her.

And that was all the assurance she needed to know that she could trust him completely, that she could tell him anything without consequence, that she could confess anything and everything to him and he would understand.

The sheer love and warmth in his eyes were enough for her to know that she was completely safe with him and she could trust him... she could tell him.

"Peter I... when I say that I'm not who you think you I am, it's because, there have been some horrible things I've done... to the... to the people I love and I know that I can't continue going on like this..." said Lia as she sighed.

"You told me everything about you... and yet you go on not knowing who I really am, and I feel like I owe it to you to tell you... and if you want to leave me after this... I'll understand, but please, don't hate me..." said Lia as she held his hand tightly, she was so afraid of retribution.

She wanted to tell the truth but at the back of her mind there was that little voice telling her that she would regret telling him something she had kept to herself for years.

There was a little voice reminding her that she was not all that innocent, that she was a pretender, a hypocrite who didn't deserve anyone's genuine love, who deserved to live a miserable life and die alone.

"I won't Lia, I promise you" said Pete as he gave her a hug, he could tell that she needed it, and she just melted in his arms, feeling safer than ever, all negative thoughts shunning away.

She knew that this was the right thing to do, or else, this would end up eating her from the inside out.

"Oh Peter I..." said Lia as she hugged him tightly and buried her face in the nook of his neck.

"You know how I said that I was in love with Dom for a long time?" asked Lia as Pete responded with a soft gentle hum.

"And how he rejected me several times, and how he and Natasha were together" said Lia as Pete nodded.

"Well I lied, I wasn't happy, I wasn't happy for them at all, It was unfair for me, I felt betrayed, I didn't wish them happiness, I wanted them to separate, I never wanted them to be happy" said Lia as Pete just quietly listened to her.

"But Natasha and Dom walked in unity so well, they got along so good, they were starting their life together so happily that it hurt me on the inside so bad" said Lia.

"Natasha would call and tell me how wonderful he was treating her, how happy they were together, and Dom would say that he was happy with her, so happy, and I could tell that they were falling in love, Natasha told me herself" said Lia as she was still hugging Pete and he was rubbing her back to try to make her feel more at ease.

"I wanted to split them up so bad, so I... I did..." said Lia as she forced the words out.

She waited for Pete to ask her how, but he didn't he remained silent, and continued rubbing her back, Lia preferred that she couldn't see his face right now, because she doubted it would be pleasant to see him look at her with contempt.

"I did the unthinkable, I did the worst thing someone could ever do to her friends..." said Lia.

"I pushed Natasha to confess that she had feelings for him, I helped her prepare dinner for the two of them, we went out together and I pretended to be all happy and all smiles the entire day even though I was boiling on the inside" said Lia.

"I... I tampered with the wine Natasha bought from the store... I spiked the wine" said Lia as Pete's eyes widened, realizing what she meant.

"I was the one who drugged Natasha and Dom five years ago... and I made her take the blame for it..." said Lia and as soon as those words left her mouth Pete's hand that was rubbed her back stopped as he froze completely in shock from what he had just heard.

Lia feeling his stop of movement felt her heart beating out of her chest as she bit the inside of her cheeks, there she had... she had ruined the most wonderful relationship she had ever had in her entire life.

A few tears escaped Lia's eyes as she quickly rubbed them off, there was no need stopping now, if she was going to tell the truth, then she would tell the whole truth.

"I was the one who drugged the both of them, I did it because I knew Dom would be angry, I thought it would force him to leave her, to divorce her so I could be his wife in her place but... but that didn't happen..." said Lia.

"And that made me so angry that all my efforts went to nothing, but I was happy that at least I had accomplished something, Dom stopped loving her, he started to hate her extremely, and I was sure that it would only be a matter of time before they separated" said Lia.

"But I didn't count on Natasha getting pregnant... believe me, I was shocked when I heard the news because a pregnancy... a whole child was now involved because of me, and I knew that it was Dom's it could only be his" said Lia.

"I felt like punching myself, I just made the situation even worse, Dom continued hating her, while Natasha tried to reconcile with him, but it didn't work, and then Joy was born and Dom dedicated himself to being a good father to her and... I just felt even more horrible, I was sure that it was only a matter of time before they got back together... so I never stopped adding fuel to the fire... I would remind Dom of what she did every single day..." said Lia as Pete could not believe what he was hearing right now, he was silent, his mind full of thoughts.

"And Natasha destroyed her chances of getting back together with him by turning into a crazy, clingy, jealous woman who forced herself on him, I was sure then that they would finally divorce but they didn't... and I just kept on feeling even worse" said Lia.

"And then suddenly, one day, Natasha just changed... she didn't care about his love anymore, she didn't care about what we thought of her, she just didn't care anymore, and that made me scared because I knew that Dom was only blinded by anger and hurt at the moment" said Lia.

"He had always loved Natasha, always, that was something that I couldn't continue to lie to myself..." said Lia.

"Peter, say something... please, say something" said Lia as she felt like she was just talking to herself, but she knew that he was listening to her, hearing all her dirty sins and thoughts, her murderous jealousy and envy, he must have thought that she was the absolute scum of the earth.

"Please Peter, say something, you're scaring me" said Lia as tears started to drop from her eyes as she sniffed and she let go of Pete, hesitantly looking at his face only to see the look on pure shock and non expression on his face.

"Peter..." called Lia softly as she cried and Pete looked at her, seeing how miserable she looked...he had promised not to judge or hate her, but this was too much... she was the one guilty of ruining Natasha's life, she was the one who ruined the lives of her friends... it was hard not to have a reaction to that.

"Peter..." called Lia again as Pete looked at her.

"You... you did all that?" asked Pete as Lia looked at him and nodded.

"You're the one that caused Natasha so much pain and suffering?" asked Pete and Lia nodded.

"I did it because at the time I thought that was the only way I would get Dom to love me, but that's no excuse at all, because no matter what I did, they still remained together..." said Lia as she cried.

"Peter, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" said Lia as she cried heavily, she knew that he had said he wished to make whoever caused Natasha so much pain, the same pain as well, and well, he could easily do that by standing up right now and leaving her.

"I was young... I was stupid, I was selfish, I hurt the people I care about because of unreasonable feelings... I caused them so much hurt and pain, I'm a monster, a monster" said Lia as all feelings of guilt that she had been keeping to herself were finally coming out, she felt like trash, she felt horrible.

Pete looked at Lia, it looked like she was already suffering enough, what good would it do to him to add more pain to her suffering? He didn't force her to confess anything, she was the one who did it herself, and that meant that she truly felt bad for what she had done.

"No Lia, you're not a monster, don't say that" said Pete as he tried to coax her.

"But I am... only a monster would do such a thing to people she loves" said Lia as she cried heavily.

"You said it yourself, you were young" said Pete as Lia shook her head.

"No I wasn't, I've always been a monster, a horrible person Peter" said Lia as she cried.

"Stop saying that Lia, no, you are not a terrible person, you might have made some mistakes, but that's it" said Pete as he did not know what else to say, on one hand, he absolutely wanted justice for Natasha, and yet on the other... the woman he loved now was responsible for all the pain the woman he loved before had gone through, he was torn really... but one thing remained certain, he promised not to judge or leave her, and he wouldn't.

She was in such a bad state right now, he felt like if he left her like this, she would end up doing something that she would regret.

"Peter, you don't know me, I didn't make a mistake..." said Lia as she sniffed.

"It was never a mistake, I did it with the intention of harming others..." said Lia.

"I... I... I was the one who sent Donny Fredo to kill Natasha..." said Lia as Pete's eyes went wide at the confession.

"Yes Peter, I'm a murderer as well... when I figured that I could never make Natasha and Dom separate, I realized that the only way to get Dom would be to get rid of Natasha, so I hired thugs to do that... and looking back now... if they had succeeded, I would be the worst person on earth!!" said Lia as she cried bitterly that was it... that was all she needed to confess, all she had been holding to herself for a long time.

Pete was completely flabbergasted... now everything made sense, why couldn't he see it before? Well it was obvious, no one would have ever suspected that Lia would be capable of all the things she was telling him.

Pete felt like he couldn't take this... for a sheer moment, he wanted to get up and leave, this was too much for him... but then it hit him, he looked at Lia, seeing how defeated she looked, and all he could say was that... he couldn't judge.

After all, he had been in love with Natasha for a long time, but did she ever love him back? No, would that mean he would do half the things Lia did? No. But he could put himself in her shoes, and he knew that not having your feelings returned could be enough to drive you mad.

Lia was in her own head, she felt like she was the worst person on earth, all she could do was cry.

She was so dumb so stupid, she had confessed to so many crimes in front of a police officer, but did she care? No. Quite frankly, she had been tired of carrying all this weight on her chest, she couldn't hear Pete saying anything, she was sure that he had left already, and she was all alone again.

In the midst of all her thoughts Lia felt the familiar warm embrace that she loved so much.

Pete pulled her into a hug, a tight hug without no words that said that he loved her, that no matter what he wouldn't leave her, that he understood her, all her pains and her worries.

"It's alright Lia, it's fine, let it all out" said Pete as he rubbed her back and hugged her as she cried like a baby.

"You... you... you hate me don't you?" asked Lia as she cried.

"How can I hate someone I love so much?" asked Pete as Lia cried, not believing him as she tried to pull away, she felt like he was just saying that.

"It's the truth Lia, it's the truth... I told you my past, my secret love, and you listened, and now you told me your past" said Pete.

"And I will listen, I will understand, you did what you did back then, but it's in the past, this is the future" said Pete.

"I never forced you to tell me anything... you were the one who told me without me asking" said Pete.

"It means you trust me as much as I trust you... it means that you really feel bad for everything you've done, that you truly do see the error of your ways, and that's all that matters" said Pete as he didn't know how much Lia needed to hear those words as she hugged him tightly and cried.

"Thank you Peter, thank you... for understanding, for not judging me" said Lia as she sniffed and stopped crying.

"I promised you, and I don't see you any differently" said Pete as he smiled and Lia looked at him and hugged him tighter.

Lia let out a sigh of relief, she felt so light, so free, all her guilt was gone, she felt like everything she had been hiding was now in the light and no one could accuse her again, she had confessed after so long, all this had been eating her up on the inside.

"Thank you Peter... I feel... free" said Lia as she smiled and sniffed as Pete smiled at her.

"I'm glad you feel that way Lia, but you know what you have to do" said Pete as Lia looked at him and frowned as she shook her head, she didn't know what he meant.

"You confessed to me and that's wonderful...however, I'm not the one who you offended... you need to..." said Pete as Lia let go of him and moved away as she shook her head violently.

"I... I... I can't Peter, I can't..." said Lia shakily.

"Don't say that Lia, you can... you can do it" said Pete as he moved closer to her.

"No you don't understand, I can't tell them... they won't understand... they are going to hate me forever, please you can't make me do that" said Lia as tears came to her eyes again, telling him the truth was one thing, but having the courage to face Natasha and Dom was beyond her.

"You can't be so sure Lia, look, if you want that feeling of relief and freedom to be permanent, you need to tell them the truth... if you do that, then you can be truly free, no one has anything against you because you told them yourself" said Pete as he caressed her hair.

"I can't do it Peter, I can't, they will never look at me the same way again, you can tell them, you can do it..." said Lia as Pete shook his head.

"I can't do that Lia, you know that, you have to be the one to do it..." said Pete as Lia cried.

"I can't do it Pete, please don't make me do it, I'm scared" said Lia as she clung unto him like a child, she couldn't do it, she couldn't say the truth to everyone.

"I know you are Lia, but it's okay to feel that way, it's okay to feel scared, but doing the right thing will make you feel better" said Pete as Lia shook her head as he hugged her.

"It's fine if you don't want to say anything Lia, I can't force you to do it, it's your choice, you can count on me not to say anything" said Pete.

"But it's up to you to take that decision and make that change yourself, and I believe in you, I know you can do it, you're strong, much stronger than you know" said Pete as Lia silently sobbed and he held her tighter.

"I can't Peter" said Lia as she cried and shook her head as Pete coaxed her and placed a kiss on her forehead, he would never force her to do anything she didn't want to do, it was all up to her in the end.