Chương 37: Selfish Selflessness
An odd sensation. Warped time and space, and again those looming gazes in the distance.
As always, they slipped past me... Though I noticed that one was more careful, staring at where I was for an unsettling amount of time.
But it faded and then a familiar scene entered my field of vision.
Light filtered in through the nearby window, illuminating my apartment.
My phone was still plugged in on my desk.
I walked over and grabbed it, checking the notifications.
A dozen messages from Seonhwa, Jinhee, and my parents. Even one from Wooseok.
Seeing that, I winced. "Right... I should have come back earlier."
They knew I was busy, and Hannah definitely settled some of the issues. But it still didn't get me out of the fact that they would be worried considering I went... What, a few weeks without contact?
It was May 5th now. A Friday. Almost three weeks since the last time I came back to Earth or had any contact.
I knew that some people were like that, but to go so long without leaving even a message... It definitely made me a bit guilty.
My parent's wedding anniversary was this Saturday, so I'd make it up then. For now, I had to make sure that things were going well on Hannah's side.
I opened up my call app and then called her number.
Considering how busy she was, I expected it to take a few rings and maybe leave a message. But before the ringtone sounded out even once-
"You crazy son of a bitch."
-Kim Hannah cursed me out.
xxx
A high-end breakfast café for business people. Some French name like Café Blanca or something.
After dressing up in proper attire, namely a well-tailored suit and pants, and carrying a leather briefcase with notes about future plans just in case, I walked inside.
There were a few other people there already. Older businessmen, probably there for morning coffee. Some young entrepreneurs around my age as well.
But they weren't who I was looking for.
A server, a young woman that was probably just out of high school, glanced my way and froze, holding a menu in her arms. She looked like she wanted to come over, but was intimidated by my presence.
I ignored her and scanned the place before seeing a familiar young woman sitting by a window booth.
Instead of her usual grey business suit, Kim Hannah was dressed in semiformal attire, a light white buttoned dress shirt and a denim skirt. Some leather boots finished up the attire, showing that she was still serious even off duty.
Since I found her, I immediately walked over.
Kim Hannah noticed and greeted me as I sat down. "I'm surprised. Usually I'm the one who's dressed up."
"I figured that this was a business meeting... Was I wrong?"
She shook her head. "You're not. But I thought it would be better to be a bit laid back... I'll remember to mention it next time so you don't have to go in through that effort." She glanced at my briefcase and said, "Future plans?"
I nodded and handed it over. "I'll be here for a longer time while things blow over, so it's not really necessary, but I thought you'd like to take a look yourself."
She smiled. "I appreciate the thought."
At that time, the teenaged server from before walked over. Seeing Kim Hannah, a flicker of disappointment crossed her face, but she put on a professional expression and placed a cup of coffee in front of her. After that, the server turned to me and said, "May I have your order, Sir?"
I nodded. "An omelet, sausage patties, French toast, and a black coffee with two spoons of sugar."
The server nodded, quickly scribbling on a memo pad before walking off.
Kim Hannah shook her head, causing her short ponytail to shift, before saying, "That poor girl. She never stood a chance."
"What?"
"Nothing." Kim Hannah smiled and leaned on the table. "So. I heard that you went on a mission to save a certain princess?"
It was a seemingly casual expression. However, my instincts told me that it was anything but.
As a result, I didn't brush it off and nodded. "I did."
"Care to explain why? I'm just curious, of course. No real reason."
So she said, but it seemed that she was carefully analyzing my words and expressions. As if her treatment of me would change depending on my answer.
"Was it for glory? Honor? The thrill of the fight? Or-"
"None of the above." I shook my head and said, "Someone I knew was in danger and I had the capability to save them. That was all."
Kim Hannah was quiet, staring closely at me. After a while, she sighed and said, "I thought that might be the case. But I had to be sure, you know?" She stirred a spoon in her cup of coffee and said, "Power corrupts and changes. Not only that, but that place is... definitely not the sort that supports moral choices."
"Clearly. Otherwise I wouldn't have had to go through all that trouble." I rubbed my left arm and frowned.
If there were more Earthlings who focused on developing themselves rather than reap the benefits and rest on their laurels... Well, that was just a what if.
Kim Hannah smiled. "Well. It's good to see that you're still the same extreme and uncompromising good guy that you always were."
I rolled my eyes and said, "I'm not going to change that easily, Hannah. And if I do, I give you full permission to smack sense into me."
"Oh?" Kim Hannah's smile turned coy and she said, "First name basis already, are we? I didn't realize we were that close, Jihu. Should I draft the wedding certificate while we're at it?"
"Heh. As if you'd be able to stand a boring guy like me anyway."
"Mm... I think I could manage. But I suppose that's enough playing around." She glanced at her watch and said, "As much as I would love to catch up, we don't have much time on our hands." Her expression shifted, becoming that cold and professional mask again.
Seeing that, I did the same.
The server came back with my food. I set them aside, but Hannah made me eat. Still, between bites, I looked at her and said, "I'm guessing things are pretty bad."
Kim Hannah sighed, taking a piece of my toast for herself and said, "It's not bad... but it's something pissy."
"Pissy?" I blinked, caught off guard at the sudden... Well, not quite curse, but harsh descriptor.
Kim Hannah chomped into the toast and scowled. "I met someone the other day."
I took a sip of my coffee and nodded. "Right. And...?"
"It was the First Lady."
I paused, and then frowned. "Did she finally show her face after the last time? No, did you draw her attention somehow?"
"Me? Heh." Kim Hannah shook her head. "Even I'm not that incredible. No, it was a certain someone here who decided to run off and do the impossible."
"Ah."
Right. That would be a reason for that person to move. A supposed level two warrior accomplishing all of what I did and returning alive was definitely miraculous.
I frowned and said, "Is it trouble? Anything I need to help with?"
"No. For now it's just a passing interest... But it'll be trouble soon. But first..." She reached into her bag and slid over a folded paper. "Here."
"Hm?" I took it and glanced at the contents. When I did, my eyes widened and I looked at Kim Hannah. "Is this for real?"
She smiled. "It is. There's quite an untapped market in that part of business it seems."
I glanced back at the paper and said, "I figured there might be, but to this extent..."
Was it because social media somehow hadn't developed as much in this world as back on my world? Even though all I made was a knock off replica of a few popular mobile games and the social media websites, the profits were already on the same level as that tech mogul Google.
Kim Hannah sipped her coffee and said, "To be fair, your works came at an opportune time. Not to mention my own connections, it serves as a quick means of communications and other things."
I shook my head. "No. The only reason it's grown so much has got to be due to your business acumen too, Hannah. I'm sure it wouldn't have developed as much if it was just in my hands."
"Heh. So you know how to be humble, huh?"
"Only to the people I care about, of course."
Kim Hannah shook her head and said, "That's all good. But there's still another problem we have to deal with."
"Yes?"
Kim Hannah frowned and said, "You know it by now, but it's hard to maintain life on that side and here without a proper environment. Although I've been fielding questions from your friends and family by saying you're overseas on an important business trip, it's going to be harder to keep it up forever. After all, you can't just conveniently be overseas when they question you."
"True..."
That was obvious. Even the most important bosses didn't go on extended trips without answering phone calls.
"This works fine since we're still in the initial parts of the 'venture,'" Kim Hannah said. "But after another month or so, it's going to be hard to excuse why you're so busy. In short..."
"We need to get me a job."
"That's right." Kim Hannah nodded. "The plan was to build up our company quick and then slot you in somewhere as lead developer or products management... but something came up."
"Oh?"
Kim Hannah sighed and said, "That person said 'Is there a need for him to go to another company? Bring him to Sinyoung.' Of course, I wanted to explain that you had a place of your own too, but-"
"That would put you under pressure."
Kim Hannah scowled and took a long drink from her coffee. "Those bastards... No, that bitch." She shook her head and said, "Do you know what she told me? She asked if I wasn't being a bit too greedy. Greedy? Fuck her. She doesn't even know the half of the work I put in. Not to mention that I'm the one who got the gold stamp and contracted you... That fucking whore."
I put on a wry smile and said, "Seems like the situation's pretty complicated."
"Hmph." Kim Hannah grabbed a sausage patty and tore a chunk off with her teeth. After chewing, she said, "It's only complicated because you're too big. Dammit. Couldn't you have just been an ordinary Irregular? Being as outrageous as you are... Fuck."
"...Should I make my own moves as well then?" I considered it. If Hannah was being this troubled, it might be time to properly move forward, despite the repercussions.
"No." Kim Hannah sighed and said, "It pisses me off... but it's still manageable. Besides, you're with Carpe Diem now, right? Along with Ian Denzel?"
I nodded.
"Good. Then it should be fine. With all the connections you made on that side and the ones we're building up here, it'll only be a matter of time before those bastards are forced to lower their heads to you." A sharp glint shone in her eyes and she said, "You bastards... Just wait until you're the one groveling before me and see what happens."
Sensing her murderous intent, I coughed and said, "In any case... I'll just get a fake job at Sinyoung soon, right? I'm guessing it's something like a contract worker? Or am I going to be in-house?"
Kim Hannah sighed and said, "I'm still working the details out on that. At first it looked like we wouldn't have a choice in the matter, but your best ally in the situation stepped in. As a result... Well, we'll find out exactly what happens by the end of the week."
I nodded and then gave her a careful gaze. "Alright. But take care, alright? No matter how 'foxy' you are, here you're just an ordinary businesswoman. I don't want you getting caught in the crossfire, so if all else fails head to Paradise and we can properly break things off together."
Kim Hannah laughed. "That makes it sound like you want to elope, Jihu."
"If that's what it'll take to make sure you're safe, it's fine."
Kim Hannah's eyes widened and then a real smile crossed her face. "I'm flattered. But I'm no pushover either. I might not be a ridiculous fighter like you, but I've got strengths of my own."
"I know. But still, keep it in mind, alright?"
"Yeah, yeah... Now, the last bit of business." Kim Hannah reached under her chair and pulled something up, placing it on the table.
I watched her do that and then blinked when I realized what it was. "A gift basket?" I shifted my gaze to her and said, "Are we celebrating something?"
"No, you idiot. It's for your parents."
I blinked again and was even more confused. "You... want to give my parents a gift? I mean, I get that it's their anniversary, but something like this-"
"Gah... Why are you only smart when it comes to everything but things like these?" Kim Hannah shook her head and slid the basket over. "This isn't from me. It's from you! To them! I bought it with your earnings."
"Ah." I nodded, understanding the situation now. "Right. I was planning to do something later, but this saves me the effort."
Kim Hannah blinked and then shook her head. "Why do I even worry...?"
"I appreciate it though."
Kim Hannah sighed.
xxx
Sunset, the sky dyed in an orange light. A little past seven.
Was it because they weren't expecting me to show up? I hadn't gotten a call all day. Of course, I hadn't called them back either.
The lights were on inside the house. Not only that, but there were a few more cars than usual parked in the drive way. As for who-
[Seol Wooseok's Car]
[Yoo Seonhwa's Car]
"Right. They would be here today." I muttered to myself and then parked my car on the side of the road.
It stood out a bit. After all, since my car hadn't been driven for a month or so, it was a bit dirty from grime. I managed to clean it up, but I couldn't hide that much in the time I had.
I sighed and sat in the driver's seat for a while after I turned off the engine. After that, I glanced at the gift basket Kim Hannah got for me.
"...Should I go in now?"
I felt a bit uncomfortable showing up out of the blue like this. Even though I made a decision to surprise them, I still felt a bit regretful that I didn't say anything to them earlier. Not to mention the fact that I idled the whole day away not wanting to call anyone...
"Fuck it." I shook my head and grabbed the basket before exiting my car. After locking the door shut, I walked up past the gate of the house and then up to the front door.
Did someone see me? Before I even had the time to knock, the door opened.
A familiar but unfamiliar face. An older man that looked a bit like me, but more mellow and calm. One I hadn't actually seen for a while.
He blinked and scanned me from head to toe before focusing on the basket in my hands. After that, his eyes widened and he said, "Jihu?"
I rubbed the back of my neck and said, "Heya, bro. Um... Did I come at a bad time?"
"Oppa?" A young female voice called out from behind him, deeper in the house. Not long after that, footsteps came running to the front door. "Oppa?! Is that you?!"
Wooseok let out a wry smile and stepped to the side, looking at the young woman who ran over. "Oppa? How come you never call me that, Jinhee?"
"Because Oppa is Oppa and you're Wooseok. But anyway!" Jinhee turned to look at me, a bright smile on her face. "Come in, Oppa! We just got back!"
Without even a chance for me to protest, Jinhee grabbed my arm and led me inside.
As she did, I took a look at her.
It seemed that she was properly taking care of herself now. Her thin face from before had fleshed out again, restoring her adorable face. Her listless eyes were also brighter than before.
"You should have called if you were going to come by! We would have waited for you then!" Jinhee turned to me and scolded me.
"I know, I know. But I just got back early this morning and wanted to rest. Thankfully, I remembered that it was Mom and Dad's anniversary in time so I managed to pick something up."
Wooseok walked over and glanced at me. "You seem to be doing well for yourself, Jihu."
"I wouldn't call it well." I handed Jinhee the basket to hold while I took off my shoes. Taking it back, I said, "I'm working to the bone all the time with my colleagues. This is the first chance in a while I got to take a breather, actually."
"Is that so?" Wooseok looked thoughtful.
I looked around and said, "Where's Mom and Dad?"
Jinhee blinked and then said, "Oh! I'll go tell them Oppa's back!" With that, she ran off to the living room. "Mom! Dad! Oppa's here!"
A commotion sounded from over there.
I was a bit hesitant in walking in at the moment, so I looked at Wooseok and said, "How've you been, Hyung?"
"Busy too. Company business... the usual. Though not as busy as you apparently." He gave me a look and said, "I heard that you haven't been answering calls from anyone for the past few weeks?"
I gave a wry smile. "I meant to call back, but before I knew it a day had turned to a week and then one week to three... You know how it is, right?"
Wooseok nodded. "I do... But you never mentioned. What is your job right now anyway?"
"That's-"
"Jihu! My baby boy!" A middle-aged woman dashed over from the living room and gave me a hug. "It's been so long! I was worried that something happened to you!"
"Hey Mom. Yeah, I've been busy... Sorry about not calling."
"Come on over! Seonhwa and Seunghae are already here." She waved and then pulled me over.
And then we were in the living room. Like my mom said, Yoo Seonhwa and her younger sister were already there, sitting on some chairs at the side. Jinhee was sitting next to them, her eyes bright.
And then my dad was sitting in front of the TV, sipping on a beer. Glancing over, he noticed me and scoffed. "So the wayward son returns."
My mom walked over and lightly pushed my dad's shoulder. "Come now, Dear. Don't pretend you weren't worried too."
"Hmph." My dad brushed it off, but he couldn't hide the relief in his eyes.
I walked over and placed the basket into his hands. "I got something for your anniversary with mom." I glanced at my mom and said, "I wish I could get something better to make up for... Well, everything. But I still don't have much to work with right now."
My mom's eyes widened and she shook her head. "Jihu! You didn't have to get us anything!"
I rubbed the back of my neck and said, "It's the least I could do..." After that, I shifted my gaze to Seonhwa.
She stared back and waved, a kind smile on her face.
I waved back, complicated emotions flowing through my heart.
My mom caught that and laughed. "You probably want to catch up with Seonhwa, right? Why don't you head upstairs and relax a bit?"
"A-Auntie!?" Seonhwa flushed.
I coughed and said, "That's-"
"No!" Jinhee immediately got up and grabbed my arm. "I want to catch up with Oppa too! Seonhwa can wait until later!"
My mom looked exasperated. "Jinhee! You're a grown woman now, so-"
Before she could say anything else, Jinhee started pulling me away. "Come on, Oppa! I've got a lot to catch up with you!"
Seeing that, and still feeling a bit guilty, I shrugged and went along with her.
xxx
Jinhee's room. It was cramped, but not from a lack of space. Instead, it was from the mess all over the place. Books scattered all across the floor, random bits of clothing here and there...
I frowned and said, "Aren't girls supposed to keep their rooms neater? What will a guy think if you bring them up here?"
"Please. I know better than that. I'd clean up before inviting anyone over." Jinhee waved her hand and then pointed to her bed. "Grab a seat, Oppa."
I did and then frowned. "Why does this feel more like an interrogation than a talk?"
"Well, does that mean that you have something to hide?" Jinhee sat on her chair, an office one by her desk, and spun around to look at me. She leaned on the edge, resting her head on top of her folded hands.
"What? Still worried about your Oppa, Jinhee?" I smiled and played it off.
But Jinhee gave me a serious nod. "I am."
My smile faded.
Jinhee looked really concerned and said, "You usually answer right away when I call. Even if you don't, it's not long after that you call me back. And then there's mom and dad too. They said that you haven't been answering them either. So... Where have you been these past few weeks?"
"A business trip." I adjusted my suit and frowned. "I've been really busy."
"Busy enough to not answer your cute younger sister's calls?"
I laughed and said, "You know, talking like that's really going to make people think you're a brocon."
She stuck her tongue out at me and laughed. But then she became serious. "But Oppa... Really. Are you alright?" She looked at me and said, "You look a bit thinner than before... What happened to your muscles?"
"Mm?" I paused and considered it. "Well, work tends to limit time on training, you know?"
Now that she mentioned it, I *had* lost a bit of body mass and muscle definition. Most of it was due to reducing my training time and refining my body, but it would definitely have looked bad to others.
"Have you been eating well?" Jinhee frowned and tilted her head. "I did what you told me to, you know? Don't tell me you're being a hypocrite and not eating like I did."
"I have. It's just... Well, stress." I stretched and said, "Turns out starting a joint business venture is a lot of desk and leg work. Not to mention the fact that I have to deal with all sorts of important people and bring up business plans to them... It takes a bit of a toll, you know?"
"Hm..." Jinhee's frown deepened, staring at me.
"Anyway." I changed the subject and said, "How's my cute sister been? Do you need any spending money for new clothes?" I glanced around and noticed that her clothes were a bit worn-out.
That was odd. Jinhee liked to dress fashionably, so seeing that she hadn't been taking care of her clothes...
"It's fine." Jinhee shook her head and said, "I shouldn't be relying on Oppa for everything. Besides, after what happened last time, I... kind of don't like dressing up too much anymore or hanging out." She rubbed her hands, as if suppressing a bad memory.
I winced, remembering that, and said, "Jinhee-"
"It's fine! I'm fine." Jinhee smiled and said, "I'm not stupid enough to let something like that happen a second time. And..." She mumbled something under her breath, not intending for me to hear it. "I don't want Oppa to get in trouble again."
I pretended not to hear it.
For a little while, I sat there, just staring at Jinhee.
As I did, my mind wandered a bit.
Jinhee, my- No, 'Seol's' cute little sister. Seeing her like this, worried over how much I was working, it was clear how much she doted on him... On me. And yet that guy made her hate him to the extent of cursing him out on sight until the very end of the story.
Just how many times... No, just how much did that incident scar her?
"Oppa?" Jinhee looked at me, frowning. "Is something wrong?"
I shook my head. "Just lost in thought."
"About what?"
"...It's nothing. I'm just cursing out my former self for being stupid."
Jinhee looked confused. But before she could say anything, there was a light knock on the door.
"Can I come in?" Yoo Seonhwa's polite voice.
Jinhee frowned and then looked at me. "Oppa..."
"Do you mind?" I glanced at the door and said, "I've got a bit of catching up to do with Seonhwa as well."
Jinhee bit her lip and then sighed. "Fine." She stood up and opened the door.
Seonhwa was standing there.
I had only caught a passing look at her earlier, but now that she was here, I got a better look.
Did she want to look good for today, or did she usually look like that? Her light brown hair was slightly tousled, giving a carefree look while light makeup was on her face. She wore a soft, creamy sweatshirt beneath a light black vest and paired it with snug gray jeans.
Jinhee looked at me and huffed. "Well, if you two are going to flirt, I'm out of here." With that, she pushed past Seonhwa and walked down the stairs.
That left me alone with Seonhwa.
I frowned, noticing Jinhee's foul mood and said, "Did something happen between you two?"
Seonhwa entered the room, shutting the door behind her, and said, "It's probably because I've been nagging her recently."
"Ah." I nodded and said, "Then it's because of you that she's recovered, right? Thanks."
Seonhwa shook her head. "It's nothing. Jinhee's like my little sister too, you know?"
Right. Seonhwa grew up with us... Of course she would take care of Jinhee even without me asking her.
Seonhwa walked inside and took a seat beside me on the bed. "So... How's work?"
An odd atmosphere. I still had mixed emotions about Seonhwa, but I didn't dislike her presence, so I let it be and said, "Busy. Lots of things to run around and do."
"Oh?" Seonhwa leaned on her arm and held up her head with her hand. "Is that Miss Kim working you too hard?"
I shook my head. "No. It's more problems of my own making. I've been a bit too ambitious, you see... If anything, I'm working Hannah too much."
"Hannah?"
I blinked and then said, "Right. Kim Hannah."
"Ah."
I realized my mistake, but didn't backtrack it.
Seonhwa hummed and looked at me. "Sounds like you two are pretty close."
I nodded. "You could say that. I trust her enough to take care of my business management, at least."
"Mm."
Sensing a strange atmosphere, I changed the subject and said, "How have you been, Seonhwa? Is the coffee shop doing well?"
She laughed. "Worried about me?"
"A little?"
She smiled and said, "It's doing fine. The girls are still a bit too nosy and asking when my 'man' is going to show up again. Though, I've noticed that there's been a lot less guys showing up since you visited that day."
"Well that's obvious. I probably shattered their dreams by clinging onto their goddess in the middle of the shop and sweeping her off her feet."
"Oh, so you realized that?"
"I'd be pretty dumb not to, yeah."
"Should I have you take responsibility then?"
I froze.
Seonhwa realized it and laughed, though it sounded a bit hurt. "Just kidding. It's a joke."
"...Right."
The atmosphere became strange again. But something like that was inevitable.
Seonhwa clearly still liked me- No. It was better to say that she loved me. I'd be an idiot to not miss her longing gaze and the way her expression softened when looking at me.
And I didn't dislike it either. No guy would be annoyed at having a girl dote on him, especially one as beautiful and kind as Seonhwa.
But... There was still that elephant in the room.
Seol Jihu had hurt her... and I wasn't Seol Jihu.
While I looked the same, spoke the same, and shared his memories, we were fundamentally different people at our cores.
And that was the source of the issue.
Seonhwa... I couldn't like her because it wasn't 'me' she liked.
Not only that, but even if it was, how could I make up for the countless wrongs Seol did to her? That sort of emotional baggage... I didn't want to deal with it. But at the same time, I couldn't just throw her away. Whatever the case, she was still a member of our family...
Did she sense my troubled thoughts? Seonhwa shook her head and said, "I'm glad you're alright."
"Hm?" I blinked at the non-sequitur.
Seonhwa smiled and said, "We were worried, you know? I mean, you've gone out of contact with us all a lot in the past, but this time was different. After what happened with Jinhee and Uncle, we thought something bad happened to you too."
I shook my head and said, "I wouldn't just up and vanish on you all again."
"'Again', huh?" Seonhwa looked contemplative. After that, she stared at me.
I blinked and said, "What is it?"
"You... really changed, didn't you?"
"Huh?"
She shook her head. "Nothing. Just thinking to myself a bit."
I frowned. "Doesn't sound like nothing to me."
"What? You curious?"
"Obviously."
"Hm..." Seonhwa smiled and put a finger on her chin, and then she said, "I was just thinking that you're different now. Well, not too different, but... It's still a bit sad." She pulled her legs up to her chest and leaned on them, looking at me. "Where did that little Pipster I know wander off, too, I wonder?"
Pipster. The name sent back a flash of memories. Light-hearted pranks between me and Jinhee. Messing around with Seonhwa...
I shook my head and looked away. "Time. Time, pain, and experience." I stared out the window of Jinhee's room and said, "I can't just keep acting like a kid forever, can I?"
"...Still, it's a bit sad. If I never..." Seonhwa trailed off and then shook her head. After that, she lowered her legs and stared at me with a serious look. "Jihu."
"Yes, Seonhwa?"
She stared at me, as if trying to look through me. Then... "Why are you working so hard?"
"Hm?"
She shook her head and said, "You've more than made up for what you did in the past. And it isn't like you're in a pinch for money since you paid off your debts too. So... Why?" She looked at me and said again, "Why are you working so hard in that- In your job?"
A slip up. It was clear that she wanted to ask about Paradise, but she also couldn't. After all, to do so would be admitting that she spent those years over there instead of studying overseas. Of admitting that part of the reason why 'I' fell into gambling was because of her moving away.
Seeing that serious gaze, I gave some thought on how to respond. Then, after a while, I met her pleading gaze and said, "I know. Everyone... Everyone's too kind. Even after all I did, Mom, Dad, Jinhee, Wooseok... and you, too. You're all able to accept me back and pretend that it never happened- No, that it's fine. That since I changed, it's enough. But..."
"Why can't it be enough?" Seonhwa looked at me and said, "There's no need to go through so much just to make amends!"
I smiled. "I know. Even so... this is something I have to prove to myself. But moreover..." I paused, remembering the new friends that I had met and said, "There are people that are counting on me. That believe in me." I looked at Seonhwa and said, "I can't just give them up now, can I?"
Seonhwa's eyes widened and then she lowered her gaze. "Idiot."
I felt a wry smile cross my face and shook my head. "Sorry. I just... can't stop now. Not when I have a chance to make things right."
A complicated expression crossed Seonhwa's face, and then she nodded. "I guess that part of you hasn't changed. But... be careful, alright?"
"For what?" I feigned ignorance and said, "It's just business... Sure, it's stressful, but it's not like my life is in danger or anything."
Seonhwa's eyes widened and she coughed, brushing it off. "A-Anyway... You should call more often! Do you know how worried you made everyone?"
The atmosphere returned to normal, an easygoing talk.
I smiled and enjoyed the time with Seonhwa.
But...
A small part of me wondered.
'Is this fine?'
I could sense it. At the end of it all, the one who would be hurt this time wouldn't be her. But rather...
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