10Các đánh giá
3.7
- Chất lượng bài viết
- Tính ổn định của các bản cập nhật
- Phát triển câu chuyện
- Thiết kế nhân vật
- Bối cảnh thế giới
Chia sẻ suy nghĩ của bạn với người khác
Viết đánh giá
the story is ok, you should improve the grammar and the header a bit..............................................................................
I get your doing this for free and writings your hobby, but the English is jumbled at best and incoherent at worst. Maybe try using a program like grammarly and when you rewrite a chapter go over every sentence and ask yourself does this make sense? If I was an English teacher you would have gotten a d-, the only thing stopping the F is you tried In the first place
EXP. Lili got the hang of it soon after and regained some distance until I let her overtake me, only for her to stop and be indecisive about being fed by me or the other way around.
Tiết lộ Spoiler
story started out good and interesting, but around chapter 10 the grammar degraded to that of a 8th graders.. with the characters constantly talking in the 3rd person.. (like riser phenex from dxd).. basically just constantly saying their own names as well as the persons they're talking to.. it is irritating and starts giving one migraines the more you try to follow along..
DO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuu
Hey hey people, [REDACTED] here, please leave an review of my novel if u have time. THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!
Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, I'm not ashemed of my english but of the fact I still comit mistakes in PT-BR Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy,
estou gostando por enquanto. heishd8sjwywosjssnele8kdskekeoekeje9eudjddur8idduod9eoed0eideieidoeuepekeidoeheoejr8rkrudkdhdidk8dododkdhdid
the story is ok, you should improve the grammar and the header a bit..............................................................................
I get your doing this for free and writings your hobby, but the English is jumbled at best and incoherent at worst. Maybe try using a program like grammarly and when you rewrite a chapter go over every sentence and ask yourself does this make sense? If I was an English teacher you would have gotten a d-, the only thing stopping the F is you tried In the first place
EXP. Lili got the hang of it soon after and regained some distance until I let her overtake me, only for her to stop and be indecisive about being fed by me or the other way around.
Tiết lộ Spoiler story started out good and interesting, but around chapter 10 the grammar degraded to that of a 8th graders.. with the characters constantly talking in the 3rd person.. (like riser phenex from dxd).. basically just constantly saying their own names as well as the persons they're talking to.. it is irritating and starts giving one migraines the more you try to follow along..
DO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuuDO a review pleasuuu
Hey hey people, [REDACTED] here, please leave an review of my novel if u have time. THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!THEY NEVER EXPECT THE ESPANISH INQUISITION!!!
Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, I'm not ashemed of my english but of the fact I still comit mistakes in PT-BR Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy, Yayyyy,
estou gostando por enquanto. heishd8sjwywosjssnele8kdskekeoekeje9eudjddur8idduod9eoed0eideieidoeuepekeidoeheoejr8rkrudkdhdidk8dododkdhdid