Chương 10: If there's a mad god...
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Nyarlathotep was staring at his sibling with such venom that not even an elder god could stand their ground. "Hey, bro, if you keep looking at me like that, you're going to get your avatar wrinkles," Zhynnsy'i joked. "Speaking of which, hot damn, that's a fine piece of ass; no wonder you named yourself 'thot.'"
"Why?" enquired the crawling chaos. Why, of all the options available to him, did he choose this mortal, and why would he allow this mortal to cause such havoc? The irony was not lost on him, but Nyarlathotep had spent far too much time with his sibling to be certain he was not suicidal. Just mentally challenged.
"I'm bored."
"Excuse me!?"
"You heard me. I'm bored with this mumbo jumbo. I mean, look around you, the entire multiverse continues to create alternative universes and different timelines, but in the end? Everything is the same. Good guys are doing this, bad guys do something like that, Elder Gods continue to preach, and us outer gods? Well, we continue moving."
"We needed something new, something so insane not even us gods would dare try doing. My first choice was Joker, but the clown had a nasty erection for Batman. Deadpool? Yeah, he just made a universe of chimichangas, not going to lie what he did to Thanos was entertaining. Then one day I saw him... just a plain-simple, boring mortal."
The crawling chaos patiently awaited the clown's conclusion. Nevertheless, they had never seen him so irritated before. It seemed so human. Zhynnsy'i had spent the most time with mortals, whereas Nyarlathotep was human-like.
Zhynnsy'i moaned in pleasure as he recalled the first time he encountered his ideal mortal. "I was going to move on until I saw I saw those eyes. Those eyes were the best."
"The sheer madness contained within him was there, ready to snap at any moment, and the only thing that kept it back? It wasn't some nonsense like family, friends, or some sort of moral obligation; the kid just didn't see the point of letting it out when he knows it'll get old in the long run."
Nyarlathotep's eyes widened as he saw his younger brother's scheme. Zhynnsy'i gave a twisted grin. "You're getting it now, but I couldn't just let him keep his humanity, at least not all of it; we don't want him to lose all of it; we just want to see him let loose, and this chaos he's just created? It is just an appetizer for the main course."
The crawling chaos stared in disbelief. He can tell from the way the clown was talking, that he was serious. Zhynnsy'i had praised a lot of mortals, but this might be the first time that he was hearing him speak with utter admiration. He was willing to say that Zhynnsy'i might have fallen for the mortal.
"Now what?" Nyarlathotep questioned, but if this mortal truly lived up to his brother's claim, he had to see it.
"My...associates and I will enjoy the show; you can join or not, it's your choice," Zhynnsyi says before pausing and growling. "WHO ATE THE LAST WEED?!?" he yelled as he ran towards the silhouettes, his human form twisted into a nightmarish form.
Shensei POV
I was adjusting to my new meat suit and checking the time. Since I knew Rukia's execution was about to begin. I summoned everyone to my war room.
Grimmjow growled, "What is it this time?"
"Remember when Aizen said something about attacking the Soul Society?" I inquired.
Lilinyette's eyes widened as everyone else realized what I was saying. Grimmjow's bloodlust grew stronger. "You can't be serious!" exclaimed Neliel. "Oh, I am, but relax. We're not killing the innocent or anyone; it's just a little show, that's all. I mean, Aizen is starting a war; might as well make it flashy."
As he unleashed his reiatsu, the panther hollow laughed. "See? Grim-chan is having an erection just thinking about it. What a dirty boy," I joked as everyone noticed the rising tent in Grimmjow's hakama.
Grimmjow was embarrassed but also perplexed by their disgust. Why did his underwear feel like it contained something other than his manhood? Except for me, everyone else turned away as Grimmjow dug through his underwear and pulled his big... mighty... banana.
"HA! Ya guys were thinking about his dick, weren't you!?" My laughter escaped the confines of my home as I savored everyone's looks of shame and embarrassment.
Harribel gave me a disappointed look, but I was too busy laughing at my successful prank. Grimmjow's reiatsu multiplied tenfold as he raged. "YIPES!" I dodged the angry blue head and dashed out of my tent, but not before shoving the same banana into his mouth.
Grimmjow's rage only grew stronger as he fired gran Rey ceros at me. It's so much fun to annoy people and get away with it. Fuck the wheel, change of plans. Once this is over, I'm going to ruin Homelander and his cronies, except for Maeve and Starlight. Or I could go to the MHA and inspire Midoriya Izuku by becoming his best friend and playing the villain.
After ten minutes, my team was all dressed in our personalized uniforms, and I had to stop myself from drooling when he saw Harribel and Nelliel's outfits. While not revealing, the uniform made their body even more appealing.
"WHOA, MAMA!!" I screamed. "Shit, Shensei. You've got some mayhem to do," I slapped myself back to reality, opening the portal for my group just further away from the captains while mine was in front of Rukia, just in time to see Ichigo appear between her and me.
"Is that a bird? OH MY GOD, IT'S A FIRE BIRD!" I exclaimed as the Sokyoku collided with me.
THIRD PERSON POV
Nobody would admit it, but seeing the Joker slam head first into the Sokyoku made some reapers laugh and hope he was finally dead. Unfortunately, he survived, albeit with only his pink underwear and kiss marks intact. They tattooed SIMP on his back.
The hollows and reapers stared at first before bursting out laughing and giggling. Shensei yelled, realizing his third son had changed his underwear while he wasn't looking. He, too, didn't notice the tattoo. He sighed and made a new set of clothes for himself before turning to Ichigo.
"Sup, Ichi, how's your mom?"
"You, you're the guy that saved mom!"
"Dude, I just said how's your mom? You didn't need captain Oblivious, the Obvious of the third recon for that, sheesh."
Ichigo gained a tick mark but concentrated on Rukia. Shensei couldn't help but ruin their moment. "Just fuck it already, you damn teens," he said. "What?!?" Both of them blushed and glared at him. "What? You two have been staring at each other like you haven't fucked each other in a month," he shrugged.
Honestly, based on how the two are reacting to his randomness, he would have been correct to assume the two were a couple, but nope. Anyway, Shensei looks around, noting that all of the captains are here with Renji, just a few miles away.
Shensei grabs Rukia and hurls her at the man, surprising everyone with the sudden act. Unfortunately, Rukia's skull crushed Renji's nuts.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?" yelled Ichigo, shaking the insane man and strangling him by the neck.
"Oh, please, you would have done the same thing and-" Shensei teleports them both away from the approaching captains. "We've got some reapers to beat," he said as he pulled out his broom.
Ichigo growls, but he knows the albino is correct, and he grabs Zangetsu just in time to prevent Byakuya from impaling Shensei.
Byakuya frowned as Shensei mockingly smirked at him. "I got this," Ichigo said, smiling. Shensei's grin broadens. "I know. Have fun with your in-law," says the albino, and the rest of the captains and their lieutenants teleported with me, leaving Ichigo and Byakuya on the execution ground.
---
When the reapers' eyesight returned, they glared at the perpetrator, their blades drawn and in their first release form. "Joker..." said the captain of the first division. "What brings you here?"
"Captain Mayuri is missing!"
"Oh, that guy, don't worry about him. He's fine."
Not at all. Shensei trapped him in an infinite loop of the worst brain-numbing song, and he was always dunked on the toilet. "You still haven't answered the question!" Soi-fon wanted the hollow right there if they hadn't received the information.
The insane king grins. "Let's just say I'm here to watch a show, but I'm thirty minutes early, so be a dear and entertain me."
When he saw most of them going crazy, he laughed. "You think this is a game?" Shensei exclaimed, laughing. "Buddy, life is a game of the highest difficulty. We work our asses off just to get a reward in a gacha system. If life isn't a game, then I don't know what is!"
Rok Nardin - The Mad King
Everyone was on high alert as Shensei raised his arm and ripped a massive hole in reality. His lieutenants emerged soon after. Their reiatsu was at its peak, and the pressure shook the entire area. The gotei 13 captains unleashed theirs, but despite their superior numbers, they were struggling because Shensei had released his reiatsu.
"Damn, what kind of monster are we up against!"
The soul reapers were aware of their inferiority, but this is absurd! The majority of these hollows have attained the rank and power of a Vastro Lorde. "All right, guys, pick your food," said the albino eldritch.
Grimmjow led the charge, followed by Harribel and Nelliel, and finally Starrk and Lilinyette. The eldritch then observed that, except Grimmjow and Nelliel, the majority of them chose their cannon opponents. He made certain to assist them if they became overwhelmed. If the reapers kill them, it will not end well.
Now it was just him, the Yamamoto, and four more captains that Ichigo dispatched in an instant. The soul reapers attacked first, but Shensei's omnipresence enabled him to outmaneuver them with Yamamoto alone, avoiding his blow.
The insane king was impressed because he had never seen this scenario with his <All-knowing>. Despite his age, Yamamoto's reaction time was out of this world. But this is the captain of the first division. The old reaper fixed his gaze on the hollow. He spent his entire life fighting, and this opponent was no hollow.
It was something more than a hollow. Then his eyes narrowed further as he felt the enemy was treating this whole thing like a game.
The old reaper glared and asked. "What are you?"
Shensei had been observing the reaper as well, and he knew well that he was going to take this fight a little more seriously. That doesn't mean he won't have a good time messing with the old man. His omniscience had already warned him that Yamamoto was on to him, and the thought only fueled his excitement.
So when the old captain asks his question, his face slightly morphs into an elritch beast/god. The insane king then responds with a distorted tone filled with nothing but pure madness.
"The Mad King."
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