Chương 156: Rejecting the Heart
It was only after the Immortal Ancestor informed him, that Yaan realised he had spent almost an entire year in that mortal village.
His life of seeking dao, his life of travelling, his life of being mortal child, had come to an end…for now at least.
And now, there was only a month remaining until the Xuqi Sect's entrance exam.
With the coming entrance exam into the Xuqi Sect, the famous law enforcement organisation which was renowned across the Southern Continent, the Fragment Sect became more bustling as some individuals prepared to either try out for the examination, or to just go to watch.
This event was only held once every ten years, but this was a relatively short period of time for many of the older Qi masters who would be attending. Even so, it was always an excellent opportunity to broaden one's horizons, whilst they could meet with the other superpower forces of the Southern Continent, establishing relationships or even engaging in trade.
During the month leading up to the exam, Yaan returned to Black Peak, to the cave at the uppermost point of the mountain. Unlike before, he was not forced into this position by the Immortal Ancestor, but entered the dark cave of his own volition.
He wanted to process his gains from the past year, his enlightenments into the mysteries of dao. The Immortal Ancestor did not stop Yaan from doing as he pleased, but the white haired man continued to watch him from afar, staring down at Black Peak silently.
Yaan sat soundlessly within the still darkness, meditating and closing his mind off from all outside matters. Well, closing his mind off was a given in this place, as he was unable to think to begin with.
This top cave of Black Peak suppressed all aspects of any person who entered its depths. In this state, only dao comprehension and the dao heart remained…only the dao soul was left unaffected by this strange mountain.
And so, Yaan entered a state of nothingness.
His experience in Tian Village had enlightened Yaan into a certain understanding.
Firstly, his comprehension over the illusion dao, and also the dao of life and death, both underwent a qualitative change.
For the first time, Yaan became aware of the fact that he possessed comprehension over life and death. When he became aware of this unexpected understanding, he realised that he had likely began comprehending this dao back in Lightstone Village, when his family were cut down before his very eyes. Yaan also realised that his comprehension over the dao of life and death…could be considered further proof that he had reincarnated…
Yaan had never sought to comprehend life and death, this renowned principle dao, but he had sought out the dao of illusions on multiple occasions. Placing the illusion of mortality upon himself in Tian Village was also something he did to further his understanding of illusions.
Yaan's illusion dao had reached an unprecedented depth, to the extent that even the Immortal Ancestor struggled to see through just what height he had reached. All cultivators perceived a different aspect of their earthly dao, but the illusion dao was perhaps the most varied of all of these. Even if a person understood the dao of illusions, they would struggle to see through someone else's comprehension over illusions. Not only that, but the nature of Yaan's illusion comprehension led to his understanding being hidden even more thoroughly compared to others.
Yaan's illusion dao was an understanding of actuality and distortion, of truth and false, of reality and delusion…
When cultivators spoke of pursuing dao, they were often referring to the search for their own dao heart. Only a person's own dao heart could be considered their own unique dao, a dao which belonged only to them. To perceive the earthly daos was to understand the world, but to perceive the dao heart was to understand oneself.
However, Yaan's pursuit of his heart shocking led to him rejecting the very notion of his heart's existence!
As for why this was, Yaan did not know, but neither did he seek to know…
As time passed by within Black Peak, Yaan naturally reaffirmed his 'enlightenment' within his heart. As this enlightenment solidified within him, the illusion surrounding his dao soul grew deeper.
As Yaan convinced himself that he possessed no heart, his understanding of illusions deepened rapidly.
The region of darkness all around him became filled with illusive emotions. These were the emotions that Yaan had experienced during his time in Tian Village…
Warmth, joy, compassion, sadness, guilt, regret…
These emotions swarmed around Yaan's body, but they seemed to return to nothingness after flowing back into his body.
The emotions caused faint and blurred images to form within Black Peak, but these images were heavily suppressed by the deep black mist here. Even so, it was incredible that these visual images were able to manifest at all!
Within these images, the faint appearance of various people from Yaan's life could be seen.
His family, his mother, father, aunt and baby sister…Elia, and the other kids from Lightstone Village…his old teacher, a person who held complex intentions towards him…Rui, a cold hearted woman who likely viewed him only as a means to an end…Ghu Nadda, one of the few people in this world whom Yaan had called a friend…the Spirit Plane Lord, a shockingly powerful entity who harboured an incomprehensible compassion towards him…the Immortal Ancestor, a person who's intentions Yaan still did not understand…
Many others appeared alongside these people.
The longer Yaan had known these people and the deeper impact they had on his life, the longer their illusion lingered for. In the end though, all of these illusions faded away into darkness, until Yaan was left alone here once again.
The Immortal Ancestor watched from above, his expression calm, but his gaze was piercing down into the mountain below him. He focussed on Yaan intently, trying to see through his mysteries, but finding that he was becoming increasingly obscured from view.
"I can no longer estimate the height of his dao comprehension…" The white haired immortal muttered to himself.
"This talent is to be expected of the Fragment of Dao, but his dao heart…just what has become of it? This dao heart…could the Primordial Devil really possess such a dao heart? Is he really…or is he…"
The immortal showed a contemplative expression, but even after watching Yaan for an entire month, he could not find his answer. If anything, As Yaan's understanding of illusions grew further and developed beyond the immortal's ability to see through, he became less able to deduce the truth.
As for Yaan's current state…
Unlike the first time he entered this cave, Yaan currently felt completely calm. His heart was serene, not a trace of a ripple of emotion could be found.
He had let go of his fear, he no longer held onto any feelings of unease towards his current situation, and now, he was left only with the will to continue moving onwards.
So onwards Yaan pressed, pursuing dao to a depth that he had not previously known possible.
When he was young, Yaan did not understand dao comprehension. The explanations of dao from those around him were too vague, insufficient to properly explain to him the true nature of 'dao'.
The Spirit Plane Lord laid it out in simple terms, allowing Yaan to understand the objective facts surrounding dao.
The heavenly dao, the earthly daos, the dao heart and the dao soul.
But even if he knew these things, did he really understand dao? No, of course not. The pursuit of dao was a lifetime journey, who in this world truly 'understood dao'?
After exploring the Fragment Sect, asking various cultivators and even some mortals his question of dao, and then finally returning to mortal roots in an attempt to find his final answer, Yaan arrived at an answer.
His answer? His answer was that he no longer cared to bother with his 'heart', he only wished to perceive the dao before him, his dao of illusions which could provide him with greater strength!
As his understanding of illusions grew deeper with every passing moment, this truth was further reinforced in Yaan's heart. If this was not correct, then why was he improving so rapidly right now?
There was actually a simple answer to this, but an answer that Yaan could not possibly see right now due to the nature of his current enlightenment: he had placed himself into another illusion, an illusion countless times more profound compared to his illusion of mortality, deluding himself into believing that he had no heart.
As for why Yaan was able to cultivate with such a distorted and damaged dao heart to begin with, the answer to that mystery was currently only known to two individuals.
The first, was Old Thief, who had seen through the truth back in the inheritance's 5th trial realm.
The second, was the mysterious girl with a black crystal imbedded in her forehead…
Yaan did not realise that there was a problem with his dao. As for the Immortal Ancestor, he felt that something was amiss due to the differences in Yaan's dao heart development compared to his expectations, but he could not understand the root cause of this.
As for where all this would lead, that was yet to be seen.
After all, Yaan was already walking down an impossible road. This current state of his, this state of furthering his cultivation whilst damaging his own dao heart, this state of having his dao soul plagued by vicious cracks…
Even gods would scream in agony under such torment, until this growing damage to their dao soul resulted in their eventual demise.
And yet, Yaan did not even seem to notice it.
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