Chương 222: Volume 5.9 – Lost (1/2)
Nakagawa Ayumi's Perspective
"How long are you going to sit in here, Ayumi?"
Mary asked. Standing over me was the one who betrayed my trust and went against me in the first place. She stood there with her arms crossed. With a sigh, Mary walked over and picked up the boxed lunched she brought with her. Freshly cooked from her home, it was wrapped up in a pretty container. The sight of it made me sick to my stomach.
It'd been weeks, and I hadn't left this silent house. No one else had answered my calls, and the only one who'd come over to see me was her, this traitor.
"…"
Without asking, Mary set the meal on my nightstand, sat on my bed, and took a deep breath. She exhaled like a tired mother taking care of an unruly child.
"Ayumi, you haven't left this home in weeks. You've been taking time off that I know you don't have. You've lost weight and gained… nothing from all of this."
Her tone was cold, direct. It all was tiring for me to listen to. This wasn't a new conversation. Mary was persistent despite her being the main reason my life went off the rails.
"I'm not here to baby you, Ayumi. You put yourself here… and I think for the sake of people who still care for you, you need to get yourself out."
I held my knees close, sitting against the walls of this once-warm room that I'd shared with the person I loved. I was tired but unable to properly sleep when I did get in bed. Then hearing this tired-out appeal from Auburn Mary was like trying to listen to a record, skipping over and over. It was even more tiring...
"Nobody cares about me."
She sighed for the umpteenth time.
"Ayumi, when I first came to Japan, alone, and not a friend near me, I had no one. I was barely able to speak Japanese… Ryuji brought me here... then left me in my enormous home..."
Her tone was somber, and her voice was quivering.
"Then you came over to get to know me. For the first time since I met Ryuji and decided to move to Japan, I didn't feel alone, Ayumi. You made me feel welcomed to Hiroshima."
I lifted my head to catch my eyes with Mary. Even in the dark room, I could clearly see the sadness in her eyes.
"And as your friend, I saw that you were going to do something you couldn't take back. That's why I decided to tell Madoka what you were doing with her schooling."
She crossed her arms.
"I overstepped my boundaries, Ayumi, but I don't regret it."
"E-Even if it destroyed my family?!"
Mary's sharp exhale cut through my complaint.
"No, you ruined your relationships before I met you, Ayumi. You can't put that on anyone else but yourself."
Mary got off my bed and kneeled next to me.
"Ayumi, why is it so hard for you to take what people say at face value? Why do people have to go so far to prove that they love you?"
Tired of my complaining, Mary stood up.
"This is the last time I'm delivering any food to you. I've been at this for almost a month."
With one hand on her hip, she spoke up.
"Checking in on you so Madoka wouldn't have to worry… and nothing's changed. Maybe it's time for you to find out why everyone who loves you doesn't want to be around you anymore."
She was about to walk out the door when I finally spoke up.
"Mary, ah... why?"
"Why you?"
She cut me off.
"It's always the same question every time I come over here. Haven't you realized that nothing will change unless you do something about it for once?"
Mary continued walking out into the hallway. Her footsteps grew more distant until she left the home, creating the absolute silence I'd grown numb to by this point. Uncaringly, I unwrapped the ready meal, being presented with pork curry and white rice, still warm. It was simple but made with love.
"My question wasn't… 'Why me?'"
I sighed and complained.
"It was: why are you still so nice to me?"
I took my food and went into the empty kitchen. A stack of bills was on the table, haphazardly thrown on there over the weeks. Bills that assaulted me about electricity, water, and… mortgage.
I got out a plate and put my meal together. After boiling some warm tea, I sat in the cold kitchen, eating my meal. My eyes focused on the bills once more. I didn't have the money to pay the mortgage… just as Mari expected.
I was going to have to contact the mortgage company and default on the house. Get a new place that's way smaller….
Alone…
With me and my thoughts…
I closed my eyes and thought about a warmer time…
"Mom, I made breakfast. Just sit right there, I'll make sure you're full before work."
Madoka would say as she'd run around the kitchen, setting everything up and making sure her mother was ready for the day. I could lose my tie in the bathroom medicine cabinet, and she'd find it. Life with just the two of us was hard… but I miss it. Even my time with Mari and Hana was so wonderful too.
The savory curry mixed with tears, and I couldn't eat anymore. I pushed the plate away and leaned back in my chair, looking at the ceiling as if god was going to give me the answer on how to bring them all back.
My phone rang and my stomach dropped. I forced myself to pick it up.
"Hello?"
"Nakagawa-san, it's me, Saitou Risa."
"Oh… Saitou-san. Is… is there something I can help you with?"
"You haven't been in the office for a while, and your boss has been making the rounds about… replacing you."
I sighed.
"Why are you calling me? I'm not in your department, and this matter has nothing to do with you."
"I'm calling you because I'd like to chat with you and talk about something important."
The motivation to continue this conversation was waning greatly. I didn't want to see anyone, and Saitou Risa, regardless of how generous she'd been to me since I came to the company, wasn't anyone high on my priority to meet with.
"What about?"
"I told Madoka-san and Hana-chan about how you and Koda-san became a couple. It was when we stayed at the Onsen and Inn a few months back."
I leaned forward. Saitou-san was direct and knew just how to draw me back into the conversation. It was after the first night when Madoka started questioning me more about what happened. Of course... it had to be Saitou Risa-san. Bitterly, I spoke up.
"I suspected it was you. No one else knew about that but Mari and you. W-Why would you do something like that?"
"I want to talk to you about your future at the company. I have something else to tell you, and I think you should hear me out. Twelve o'clock, meet at the front of the shopping district. I'll see you there. Oh, and bring something to run in."
Like the boss she was, she directed me and hung up. I couldn't say no… and despite how I felt, I needed this job to even live when I eventually moved out.
"Something to run in? What else does she want to talk to me about?"
The question loomed over me. In a way, I was a little worried. Not for the sake of my job but because I knew how Saitou Risa operated. She never went into a discussion without thinking of the next five moves. No, in her mind, she already won the debate and sealed the deal. I'm… already expecting to lose against her. And I'm worried about how badly she's going to damage me.
"It's her fault that Madoka confronted me that day. The day when everything started to fall apart."
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