Chương 40: Chapter 38: Tiny Step
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
"I brought you a black turtle neck shirt and black leather jacket from my car, Me-Ji noona gave me a bottle of water and the trial is on a thirty-minute break." Jungkook entered the bathroom to find Jimin cleaning up his eyes with a string of paper. The red in them could be seen from miles away. His own black blazer was still placed on the side without being touched.
"I told you to leave me alone! What the hell don't you understand about that?" Jimin snapped almost slamming his hands on the sink in the process, but he rathered exhale furiously before accidentally hurting himself. "Jimin hyung, I'll turn around, just... please change and drink some water." Out of all the moments where the actor was sincere, this was one of them. He hoped the writer could sense the sincerity and worry in his words.
Jimin gritted his teeth and bit his lips before he could choke a sob and his bottom lip trembled. "I can't even look at you." He added, tearing his gaze away while grabbing the pair of clothes and the bottle of water before entering the largest cubicle and locked it. He was tired of everything, this brought him so much stress.
"What else did you lie about? I thought you promised to tell me everything!" He shouted from the cubicle all while stripping himself from the dirty dress-shirt. "I told you everything except that. But I had to lie about one more thing if I hadn't, both of you could've been hurt." Jungkook began to lean his back against the sink and took back his blazer, then he slid it up his arms again and wore it.
Jungkook looked at his own black boots and felt himself tear up. But he couldn't cry in front of Jimin, not yet. He hadn't atoned for what he had done, he couldn't show his weak side until he changed.
Jimin abruptly stopped moving to unlock the cubicle after dressing up in the extra black turtle neck shirt and black leather jacket. His eyes focused on Jungkook's figure he could see through the small slit between cubicle's walls and door while there was a loud sound from how his hand gripped on the bottle of water. His mind stopped functioning for a moment because it wasn't a trick. He really had heard the actor say "Both of us?", he repeated with furrowed eyebrows.
Last he remembered, Jungkook wanted nothing to do with him and their unborn child, and as how Jungkook was, he wanted nothing of the actor as well. "I told you to go to my room so we could talk, but instead you said it there. Min Woo was watching every move I made. If I hadn't almost ...said that about the..." The actor paused and gripped tight onto the sink for support but not even that could help him.
"I didn't want that. But I couldn't afford to let Min Woo hurt the both of you. I chose to let you leave." Jimin noticed how Jungkook lifted his head from looking down at his boots to point his nose up to the ceiling. He could see the man he loved blinking repeatedly, but Jungkook couldn't. Jungkook couldn't be holding back genuine tears. Could he?
"You should've told me the truth since the day he called you. Now you lost me, you lost us." Jimin unlocked the cubicle and threw his dirty shirt inside the trash can attatched to the wall before going back to the sink beside him. He was about to snap again, but not mainly featuring anger in his features.
"I genuinely wanted this. But your trust issues ruined everything. I gave you the second chance for it. I chose to stay with you after you told me you basically cheated on me. I let you touch me in every way no one had ever done, but you broke me." Jimin grabbed Jungkook's hand and forced the palm over his clothed stomach.
Jungkook felt like gasping and he wasn't exaggerating. There was an uncalled for shiver running down his spine the moment his palm met a bump on the usual flat abdomen of the writer. "I didn't plan on getting pregnant, but after everything that's happened, this is true. This is what love is. Although it wasn't planned at all, this is what loving someone can lead to; the most wonderful thing you can have in your life." Jimin couldn't control his tears anymore when Jungkook's eyes looked down at him; staring down with sorrow.
Toxic or not, he was staring at the man he loved. There was no doubt in his clouded teared up eyes, yet he needed to face reality. "But you fucked it up." Jimin tried forcing his hand away, but Jungkook wouldn't budge his hand. "Let me feel it..." Jungkook's voice was low. He felt he would break down again if he spoke the tiniest bit louder.
"What do you get out of it-"
"Jimin hyung, please let me feel it." Jungkook lowered his left knee and still kept the right hand on the writer's stomach; Jimin didn't move because of his plead. His voice was still very low, it almost cracked in the end. "Please..." He added in a whisper and lifted his other hand to also place it against the small bump.
Jimin didn't want to believe him. He didn't want to believe those actions could be of the same man that had threatened to force him into a clinic for an abortion (even if it was as Jungkook said, an act), he didn't want to believe the man kneeling before him began to silently cry while leaning his own head against the bump. But it was happening.
"Appa-ga mianhae." Jungkook whispered with closed eyes. He knew that if he opened them now, he would cry.
That was all he wanted, for Jungkook to realize what was really important in life. But, in life, you can't just break someone's trust one day only to bring flowers the next and expect forgiveness, because that is not right. Jungkook wasn't in the right, but he just made the tiniest step forward for change.
"Thank you for the water and clothes, I'm keeping them." Jimin mumbled and stepped away from Jungkook trying to avoid his eyes in any way possible before both of them could break down. "When is the next ultrasound?" Jungkook tried not to sniff, but he failed in doing so. And Jimin chose to ignore it. When he got up from the floor, he kept his face down to not reveal how he contradicted himself; he did shed at least a few tears.
"You're not invited to it." Jimin was about to snap again. He felt completely protective and defensive now.
"I'll pay for all your appointments, anything I can." Jungkook was about to talk again, but Jimin cut him off. "I have my own money, I'm a grown adult. I can pay for myself thank you." Jimin couldn't believe the audacity. He began to think the actor was pitying him, and he absolutely despised it. Maybe he wanted to pick a fight so he would continue to stay angry and wouldn't give in.
"I know you can- I... just- I'll pay you for child support if you don't want me near even after I..." Jungkook paused, he finally looked up at Jimin.
Their eyes locked and everything always seemed to stop whenever they stared at each other. Somehow this was one of the times where Jimin wanted to go back, but the need to push back into reality always brought him back.
"Even after you what?" Jimin questioned, his hand was about to reach for the exit. He wanted to go back and slap him for being so confusing, but he refrained.
"I'm beginning to see the galaxy in your eyes." Jungkook paused again to slowly shift his eyes down to the writer's stomach. "But I'll change for both of you. I'll try to win your trust back, and if I do..." He walked forward and reached out a hand towards Jimin's stomach.
The writer was about to flinch, but something just told him to stay still. And he did. He observed every move Jeon Jungkook made, and he couldn't lie. When Jungkook pressed his right index finger against his belly, he knew Jungkook felt the goosebumps he caused.
"Instead of Neoneun na and Naneun neo, I'll say the words you wanted to hear. With all my heart, I'll mean them and let you hear them. But only after I mend everything, including myself." Jungkook finally finished and retracted his finger before lifting the same hand to brush his thumb against Jimin's cheek.
"Drink more water, your lips are still pale. I'll ask Me-Ji noona if has some mints or gum she can give you." Jungkook finished stroking the soft skin of Jimin's cheek before the latter leaned away from his touch. "Don't touch me if I haven't given you permission." Jimin turned away and just as he opened the door, he looked back at him with saddened eyes.
"I don't think my heart can take another heartbreak so do yourself a favor and let me and my child live a life full of love. Know that forgiving you will not be easy. If you're prepared to deal with the struggles of -you know what. Nevermind, bring it on. What difference will it make..." Jimin felt the need to leave and he did. He left Jungkook alone in the bathroom. And he felt proud that he stood up for himself, although it hurt his heart, he needed it.
The trial resumed, and the Devil lost.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
"Thank you for the food." Jungkook mumbled before lifting a piece of bulgogi to his lips with the metallic chopsticks.
"What's with the long face? We won the trial." Me-Ji rolled her eyes at the actor and pushed a bowl of rice towards him. "Take more rice. You've barely eaten today." She added. "Noona, don't force me to eat too much. I'm not that hungry." Jungkook exhaled a breath after chewing up the meat. The memory of Jimin and him was still vivid in his mind so clear he could remember every detail.
"I cooked food for my friend, not my client. Tell me, how can my ears help?" She answered before shoving a spoon of white rice inside her mouth; a small chipmunk. "It's... nothi-" Jungkook felt a glare sent his way. Me-Ji gulped her bite and lowered her elbows to the table of her own house.
"I'm twenty-nine, not stupid. I have a mother's instinct, I know when someone is feeling down." And Jungkook sighed again. He didn't really want to open up, but she was insisting; she knew he needed to vent.
"I'm horny but I don't want to have sex with anyone besides Jimin. I'm calming myself down." He suddenly said and Me-Ji almost choked on a grain of rice. "I-I was not expecting that." She grabbed a cup full of water and drank for a few seconds without straying her vision from the male. "You have to control yourself. It's the only way." She said.
"I know! I'm trying. I'm a very sexually active male, how could I suddenly stop and not feel excitement?" He groaned and stuffed a spoon full of rice inside his mouth.
"I can get you a good therapist to help you." She continued eating, not minding how the actor suddenly began to eat more as if eating now just calmed him down.
"Easy there, you'll get gas. I know I'm a good cook, but the food's not going anywhere." She laughed after a few minutes. All she wanted to do was help. Help in any way she could. Even after the trial ended, she just felt guilty now that Jungkook and Jimin broke up. And she pitied Jungkook, not pity for someone you don't know, but she wanted to genuinely help him; it was part of her nature.
"I want a drink. Do you have Apple Soju?" Jungkook was about to stand up but she neatly placed her utensils down before smiling in a very intimidating way.
"Alcohol tastes like shit. Now, don't test my parience and sit there until you calm down your hornones. You're behaving like my younger brother; always so hyper." She made sure to stick her words through Jungkook's mind, and he nodded. Right now, the only person who cared about him and was willing to help him change was her. He understood why she was great at her job, she was intimidating, she insisted and her logic never failed her.
"Is this why Christy-noona calls you Sunray?" Jungkook resumed eating, a little more slowly now. The stress in his body wasn't helping him, but he needed to calm down as she said. And it seemed like he hit a nerve because he noticed from the corner of his eyes that Me-Ji sighed.
"I haven't talked to her in a while. And I don't think we will for a long time, but that's on me. I'm a lawyer, but I can be a bad bitch." She smiled and resumed eating, only for Jungkook to ask another question. "Where's your daughter?" Me-Ji smiled kindly and raised her gaze from her food.
"With her grandmother, father's side." Jungkook was sure asking a lot of questions. Me-Ji didn't mind though. She thought if this got him to open up after knowing more about her, then she would answer everything. She wanted the actor to begin trusting others again. If Jimin wasn't going to finish helping Jungkook, she would just push him back on the trail of change for Jimin to finally see him.
"Who's her father? Are you a single mother?" Jungkook asked two other questions, this time he knew what he was asking; he thought he may have crossed a line.
"Her father's name is Kim Jonghyun. He's finalizing his second year of military duty. We are somewhat complicated, but we're happily engaged." When she finished answering his questions, Jungkook hung his head while staring at the empty bowl of rice. "Don't apologize. I haven't spoken to him since the New Years, but I know he's okay. And you will be too. More rice?" She stood up with her own finished plate and his when offering, and who was Jungkook to refuse. With a simple nod as answer, she returned to the kitchen to place her plate in the sink and then refilled the actor's bowl with rice.
"How far is Jimin now?" She asked the question she's been meaning to ask since hearing the audio they used as evidence.
"I've been counting nine weeks." Jungkook replied with a lowered voice. He could almost feel the bump against the palm of his hands when he looked at it.
"And when will you tell him about your decision?" Me-Ji's voice was serious again and it forced Jungkook to look up at her. He smiled sadly and grabbed the spoon to continue eating; so much for not hungry.
"I'll talk to my manager tomorrow. I want it to he announced after the premiere of the movie. So maybe August?" Jungkook stayed silent throughout the whole dinner after that. His choice was a difficult one to take, but Me-Ji agreed it could be for the best; he would get better.
"There will be articles tomorrow about you and Min Woo, maybe a few about Jimin. I tried talking to the media, but there was nothing I could for every single one of them, at least not until they're published so I can get my contacts to bring them down. Be prepared for any type of comment towards you, and Jimin." The worried look in her eyes didn't fade. "I know. What I'm worried about is that Jimin could receive hate. He doesn't deserve anything." Jungkook was about to continue but he stopped when he heard a sniffle across the table.
"You'll miss the birth if you do it." Me-Ji felt her eyes tear up, her own memories crawled inside her thoughts; she empathized with it.
"I know..." Jungkook refused to cry again in front of someone else. But his insides were crying for him.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
KOREA NEWS
@dailykorea
Actor Jeon Jungkook, reported himself victim of a constant sexual assault case. The offender revealed as Lee Min Woo was yesterday found guilty and sentenced to jail with a sentence of 85 years. For more info: https://www.dailykorea.com/JeonJungkook-1228/BhG49jKlpWhbS77
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SOOMPI
@soompi
Famous writer Park Jimin revealed himself to have been involved in a relationship with Jeon Jungkook before the case. Both were seen together having conversation after the trial ended. For more info: https://www.soompi.com/hTw2gHzJimin-Jungkook/10hZxv
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